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Chapter 38 - Everything I Want

Y/n didn't know just where to look first. Suddenly behind her, she heard a woman scream "Dance with me instead Captain America!"

But when she finally looked in front of her, Bucky was standing before the asshole Holden, who stood on the side dumbfounded. He was wearing a charcoal-grey suit that he must've borrowed from someone else, as the sleeves were too short.

"Hey! That's my girl, and I was dancing with her!" He said, waving his finger in Bucky's face.

"Listen here you piece of shit." Y/n poked Holden harshly in the chest. "I belong to no one. Got that? And you better hope I never see you in the field one day. After all, nobody will believe you if you claim a 'woman like me' from the same side gave you a black eye. How's that sound?"

Bucky folded his arms and grinned proudly. "I think she made her self pretty clear. Go on now."

Holden simply sneered and stormed off in an angry trail, likely on a mission to bother another poor girl.

Bucky held his hand out to Y/n. "If you aren't too tired."

Y/n took his hand with no hesitation, having missed his gentle touch. "It would be my pleasure."

Bucky gingerly placed one hand on the small of her back, the other keeping a hold on her hand. He slowly glided with the music, taking her through each step.

"When you said you were going out, I wish I'd known you were going dancing." He said, just loud enough for her to hear him over the commotion.

"Trust me, I had no idea where she was taking me until we first got here." Y/n chuckled, gasping softly when Bucky briefly lifted her off her feet, then back down again. "I've never danced with anyone before."

"You haven't?" Bucky's smiled instantly dropped. She shook her head, shrugging.

"Darlin', I wish you'd told me that sooner." Bucky twirled her around, then returned both his hands to her waist. She leaned forward and rested her arms on his shoulders.

"What are you and Steve doing here anyway?" She questioned, glancing behind her to see crowd had now dispersed, as Steve was nowhere to be seen.

"Said he needed a break from war planning." Bucky told her. "I think him and Carter got into some argument. Dugan told us you'd be here."

The suit made sense now, and the fact that he put in the effort to dress up just for tonight had Y/n in a blushing mess.

"I talked to her. I think they'll be alright." Y/n frowned slightly when she saw Steve wander around aimlessly, dodging the incoming fans from every direction while thanking them quickly at the same time. Peggy likely left as soon as she saw Steve enter the building.

Y/n unwittingly rested her head on Bucky's chest as the effects of the whiskey submerged her into bliss. Bucky's face flushed a rosy red and he could only pray she couldn't hear his heart pounding.

Besides the garden wall, when stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale
Tells his fairytale
Of paradise, where roses grew
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it always will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain

"I'm glad you came." Y/n murmured, pressed against him. Their dancing had calmed into slow sways.

"You are? I didn't wanna interrupt your night."

Y/n shook her head. "You're never an interruption, James."

Bucky couldn't resist a sheepish smile that only grew bigger at the velvety sound of her voice against his chest. The way she said his real name sent a wave of euphoria through his body.

"I always wondered what this was like, dancing the night away. I don't want it to end." She admitted quietly.

It doesn't have to. He thought to himself, tightening his hold on her waist. This was all he ever wanted, after all. No girl he'd ever met had left him in such a trance. Their two bodies fit together like two perfect halves of a whole. And although she never danced before, she made it feel as though it was his first time as well.

His senses filled with the warm scent of her perfume, with hints of cinnamon and sugar like a quiet autumn day. His left hand subconsciously played with her hair as the slow tunes lulled them to a tranquil silence, just enjoying being in each other's presence.

"Do you ever..." Y/n began, her voice muffled slightly as it was pressed into Bucky's suit. "Do you ever think what it would be like to have that serum?"

Bucky didn't look down to face her. He only sighed and shook his head. "Why do you ask?"

"Jus' curious."

"I've never really thought about it." Bucky looked down at her. "Why would I need it anyway?"

"Yeah."

"What about you?"

She shrugged, smiling to herself. "I'm not sure I'd enjoy it the same way Steve does. Or rather... I'm not sure people would see me the same way they see him. Who would want a woman strong enough to rip a man in half?"

"I know I would." Bucky smirked. "Watching you beat the hell out of Schmidt would be incredible."

Y/n leaned back so she could see his expression properly. She grinned teasingly. "You think I couldn't without the serum?"

Bucky's cheeks flared red and he grinned bashfully. "You're a handful, you know that?"

She simply shrugged, resting her head back into his chest, the sound of his soft voice resonating under her ear. Who would've thought this gruesome war could hold somewhat of a silver lining.

"Steve deserved it more than anyone else. He's a hero." Bucky said after a few minutes of dancing in silence.

"And you aren't?" Y/n chuckled at the look of surprise etching onto his features. "Steve is a hero to America, sure. Maybe kids idolize him every day and newspapers rave about him as a patriotic symbol of sorts. But hero doesn't have to be about super strength and fighting bad guys as everyone may think."

She held his face in both of her hands. "I mean, of course I adore the Sergeant James Barnes side to you. The things you and the other soldiers did before Steve even got here deserves endless praise, no doubt. But the Bucky I love and cherish most doesn't need an army uniform to be perfect. You were there that day I found out my mother had passed, or when my father gave me a black eye that one time after coming home late. You and Steve have always been there. You're my hero, Buck."

Bucky brought his hand up to hold her's, giving it a soft peck and bringing it to his chest. The icy blue of his eyes were swallowed by the black of his pupils and Y/n could've sworn the look of upmost adoration on his face alone could have melted her into a puddle of mush.

"I don't need the serum then." He said quietly, the corners of his mouth curving into a delicate smile. "I have everything I want already."

Y/n's eyes widened as she felt her breath hitch. Did he mean what she hoped he meant? After months, years of shoving down her feelings and stowing them away in fear of severing the bond between one of the most important people in her life. "You do?"

"Just leave it, Steve!"

Bucky suddenly turned to the direction of the sudden commotion.

His expression fell as he recognized the voice. "Oh shit." He groaned and ushered for Y/n to follow him. "What happened?"

"You didn't hear all that yelling coming from outside?"

Y/n shook her head as she followed promptly behind him in confusion and slight disappointment of their conversation being cut short.

They ravaged through the crowd towards the doors leading outside where sure enough, Peggy was standing defiantly in front of Steve with her arms folded.

"Here's another tip about women, Rogers." She didn't raise her voice, yet her words were enough to leave Steve standing five feet away in defeat. "If a woman wants to be left alone, it's because it's true. Especially after what I saw today, the last thing I needed was for you to come here and chase me when all I needed was some time to cool off."

"I told him." Bucky muttered to Y/n, who held back an eye roll.

"I just needed to explain to you what happened, Peg. I never meant to hurt you or lie to you. And when Bucky told me that you and Y/n were going dancing I just..." Steve trailed off and frowned when Peggy turned her back to him to walk off down the sidewalk.

"Let's put an end to this war first and then perhaps I'll consider it." She grumbled as she departed from the scene.

"At least let Buck and I drive you back."

Y/n quickly ran to her side to stop her from raising her voice. "No no no... I'll walk with her, Steve. We'll see you back at the base." She gave Bucky a small smile and waved one last time, which he happily mirrored as he returned to Steve's side and gave him a scolding nudge to the shoulder.

"It's my turn to call you a jerk." Bucky told Steve as he watched the two ladies leave them alone on the sidewalk, with the only sound being the muffled jazz emitting from inside the club.

"I blew it, Buck. I don't know how to make it up to her."

Bucky let out an exasperated sigh. "Follow her advice, maybe? If she loves and trusts you then she'll eventually come around."

"I know." Was all he said.

"Let's go inside." Bucky gestured to the club. "I could do with a whiskey after that."

The next morning

"C'mon, Y/n you can hit harder than that." Peggy urged as Y/n jabbed the two foam pads Peggy held up in front of her. She drew her hand back and swung a punch that ultimately missed the pad which resulted in Peggy's knee to her stomach.

"Ow." Y/n mumbled, clutching the spot she was hit.

"You're distracted, I can tell." Peggy gave Y/n the pads as a signal to switch. "What happened last night after I left? ...which I'm sorry about, by the way."

Y/n huffed as she held the pads up in front of her for Peggy. "There was a..."

"A what?"

"A moment? Kinda." Y/n bit her lip and frowned. "I don't really know."

Peggy paused her punches. "You're kidding!"

She smiled proudly when Y/n looked away shyly and resumed what she was doing. "As your friend, I'm afraid I'm going to need extensive details, Y/n."

Y/n's stare went blank for a moment as she reimagined the moment in her head for seemingly the 100th time in the last eight hours. Needless to say, sleep was scarce that night. "We were dancing for a while and talking a bit. Nothing out of the ordinary except when he..."

Peggy raised her brows waiting for her to continue. "Judging by the look you two had on your faces last night when you came to find us outside, something good must have happened."

Y/n grinned coyly. "Well... almost. I think."

Peggy caught a hint of a frown taint Y/n's expression. "Did you tell him?"

Y/n shook her head. "Not exactly. I sorta rambled a bit about how much he means to me." She scoffed to herself. "Guess it's a nervous habit of mine. After that he said something about having everything he ever wanted, and before he could even elaborate he heard you two outside and got worried."

Y/n hadn't been paying attention to Peggy's obviously questioning look about what exactly she was even talking about. "Okay, maybe start with how the conversation even got to that point."

A knock at the door halted their conversation. One of Bucky's Commando buddies stood at the door way, smiling guiltily. "Sorry to... uh... interrupt ladies. We're departing for the mission soon."

"We'll be there in five." Y/n told him with a smile, tossing the focus pads to the side. She hit the light switches and followed Peggy back to their room to prep.

Over the last few months, Steve directed the unit to attack every corner of Nazi territory across the continent, striking down new bases and locations as they popped up once another was destroyed. At this point, facing HYDRA was a weekly routine.

"Stubborn bastards." Dugan muttered to Bucky as they loaded up the weapons to the aircraft. "How long until they stop playing hide and seek with us every month."

"You're telling me." Bucky huffed as he lugged a massive crate into the compartment. He wiped the small amount of sweat off his forehead and sighed, satisfied they'd finished the ridiculous job Philips had put them in charge of.

"You two getting tired?" Jones appeared from inside the base with a smirk plastered on his face. Morita followed behind him with a sandwhich in his hand.

Dugan casted them a salty look that followed with a grin. "You wanna load this shit into the trunk for two hours straight? Be my guest."

Bucky only chuckled at their banter as he closed up the back of the aircraft and dusted off his hands. "You two come here to poke fun at us, or what?"

Morita and Jones shared a sly glance. Dear God, what were they up to this time?

It was times like this when The Commandos made Bucky question why he of all people had to be chosen to be in the same division as possibly the most dim-witted idiots he could ever come to know.

Even so... they weren't all that bad.

"We've come up with a theory." Morita pointed to Bucky with his sandwich. "And we already know the answer."

"Then why bother asking?" Bucky leaned against the side of the jet, folding his arms.

"Out of all the things I remember about being locked in that HYDRA base, the only damn thing we heard you ramble on and on about is your 'best girl' back in Brooklyn." Jones laughed in amusement when the single mentioned made Bucky's face flare up. "I mean, if anyone were to ask me about what it was like being locked up by Nazis, the only thing I could tell them is hearing about this guy's dream girl for hours and hours."

"And hours..." Dugan sighed exasperatedly.

Bucky had ducked his head down in embarrassment, grinning to himself at his own stupidity. "Thought I was gonna die in there. What did you expect?"

"Well, anyways," Morita shrugged. "Our money is on Y/l/n. Y'know, the dame that we've caught you ogling your eyes at every meeting."

"And she stares back, by the way." Jones added.

She does?

Bucky only cleared his throat and fought to keep his composure. "W-what makes say that? How do you know I'm not jus' looking in that direction."

"Because Cap told me you were a certified ladies' man back home, yet I haven't seen you even look at one of those dancers or nurses."

"And they're quite something." Morita added.

Bucky barely caught a glimpse of any sleep last night. He'd replayed his and Y/n's conversation over and over like a broken record. He could've knocked out Steve for ruining the moment.

He hadn't seen her this morning while she was busy training with Carter. He was hoping he would be able to find her afterwards and address what he truly meant last night.

What did she mean?

"Either way." Jones' voice pulled Bucky out of his thoughts. "You already admitted it. Barnes has got himself a lover." Bucky felt a dull burn in his cheeks.

"You should be careful, man." Dugan said as they all began to head back inside the base. "Lovin' in the middle of a war. It's dangerous, y'know."

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