1943

Margaret "Peggy" Carter never got flustered. Ever.

Soldiers would catcall her, disrespect her name and stomp all over her dignity routinely. She would simply stroll right past them with her head held high, rightfully aware of her value and place.

Today had simply not been one of those days.

"We're going out." Y/n let out a small gasp when Peggy had harshly pulled her aside as she was leaving the debriefing led by Colonel Phillips. "Get your heels on, Y/n."

"But Peg." Y/n whined, drawing out the 'g'. "I still haven't got the chance to see Stark's vibranium shield. I heard it's stronger than any other metal and I wanna see it for myself."

"There'll be plenty of time to gaze upon Stark's inventions, Y/n. No doubt he'll be showing it off all week to everybody." Peggy grumbled, pulling Y/n through the halls towards exit of the base.

"Okay, fine." Y/n stopped walking. Peggy turned to face her at the sudden restraint of her hand. "I should go tell Steve. Just in case I miss anything about the next mission."

If Y/n had taken her eyes off of Peggy a split second later, she wouldn't have caught the sudden bitterness flash on Peggy's expression.

Y/n slowly let go of Peggy's hand. "Peg... what did he do."

"What?"

"Steve is family, Peg." Y/n smirked and folded her arms. "I don't mind knocking some sense into him if he hurt you."

Peggy huffed to herself and shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Y/n. I just need a night for just us women, please?"

"Of course! Of course." Y/n shook her head and smiled, grabbing Peggy's hand reassuringly before letting go. "I'll be right with you. Jus' need to let Stark know, at least."

Peggy nodded and smiled, but it faded as soon as Y/n turned around.

Y/n weaved through the soldiers and off duty nurses of the unit, nodding 'hello' to the Howling Commandos through the warmly lit building. Everyone was discussing what plans Philips was plotting for their next move in war, eager to take action with Steve now in the lead.

"Y/n?"

She couldn't resist the bright smile that pulled on the corners of her mouth at the sound of his delicate voice. He had his uniform neatly folded and tucked under his arm. Instead he had on his training pants and an army green Henley she remembered getting him for Christmas a few years ago. His dog tags hung around his collar and clinked when he turned to face her.

"Laundry day." Bucky chuckled, almost hesitantly, when Y/n gestured to the uniform in his arm.

"You okay?"

"Fine. Jus' tired after training with Steve early this morning." Bucky grinned to himself at the memory.

"You trained with Steve?" Y/n laughed at the mere thought. She hadn't forgotten the time a few months ago, when one of Steve's kicks had sent her flying straight into a crowd of dancer girls who were curiously spectating his first month training. Needless to say, the girls resorted to only watching him from the other end of the training hall.

"What?" Bucky scoffed, raising his brows. "You don't think I can take the strength of a super soldier."

Then he did that thing.

His tongue glazing over his back teeth, a smirk forming over his lips.

Y/n couldn't hear him over the sound of her heart slamming against her chest like the rhythm of a double-bass. She shook her head as she found her composure. "Guess you just proved you can."

"Well." He laughed softly and gazed down at his feet, shifting them across the polished floor.

"I should..." Y/n pointed behind her with her thumb. "I should let you get your laundry done. Peg wants to go out tonight."

The way his little smile quickly fell and how his soft features etched with disappointment had Y/n in a chokehold.

"Y-you're going out tonight?"

"Yeah. Why?" Y/n questioned almost too quickly, suddenly wishing she hadn't agreed to Peggy's invite.

"No I just... nothing, nothing." Bucky shrugged and laughed airily, giving Y/n a gentle nudge away. "Go have fun! Gotta help Steve organize the mission with the Commandos tonight anyways."

Y/n was given no time to protest when Peggy swooped by and grabbed her hand, dragging the two away from each other.

"I'll see you later tonight, Buck! Promise."

Later that evening

"Peg, I thought we were going to a bar or a restaurant." Y/n said as she adjusted her hair and flattened out the simple baby blue dress that fell just above her knees. "Not a damn nightclub. I'm nowhere near dressed for this."

"We're not here to meet people, Y/n. This is just you and me enjoying a drink with some swing music to go with it. Nothing more." Peggy had said, almost grumbled, as the events from earlier had still left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Still." Y/n scanned the facade of the building as they entered. "Didn't take you as the nightclub kinda person."

The vivacious sounds of saxophone and piano swelled around them as they entered the busy London club, packed with a mix of soldiers and young people opting to break away from the misery of the war for a few hours.

They took a seat at two barstools and waited patiently for the bartender to make his way over.

"Your finest glass of red, please." Peggy told him.

"Oh, a whiskey for me please." Y/n ignored the questioning look Peggy had given her from the corner of her eye. The bartender simply shrugged and nodded.

"You don't fancy a glass of wine?"

"Jus' not a fan."

"Then why whiskey of all choices?"

Y/n grinned to herself, but it quickly disappeared. "I guess it reminds me of home. Late Friday nights at the corner bar. Listening to Steve and Bucky talk about work. Not to mention the empty bottles after working the day shift."

Y/n blushed, her eyes widening when she met Peggy's scolding gaze. She waved her hands frantically. "But I don't drink that often. I promise you."

"Relax, I'm not here to judge you." Peggy chuckled as the bartender came in with their drinks. She held up her glass. "To defying the standards on women."

Y/n happily clinked her glass against Peggy's and took a gulp. "Couldn't have said it any better."

The band in the background changed the pace of their music from upbeat swing to a slow jazz tune, with some of the crowd easing off of the dance floor for a short rest.

"So." Y/n began, resting her elbows on the counter. "You gonna tell me what happened today?"

Peggy scoffed and took another long sip of her wine, attempting to dodge the question. "It's rather silly."

"This war is silly, yet it's still happening isn't it?"

"My point exactly." Peggy stated bluntly. "It's not important when there's war and death to really worry about."

Y/n rolled her eyes. "Peg, you dragged me out to a busy club on a Wednesday night, and you've been avoiding Steve and I all day. Just because your problems are minor, doesn't mean they aren't important."

Peggy continued, clear to not have heard Y/n's comment. "It's ridiculous, love during a war. Who on Earth does something so foolish? I could never imagine myself doing something like this a year ago. It's not love though, is it?"

"Hey, hey slowwww down, Peg." Y/n waited for Peggy to collect herself. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"There's that one blonde dancer." Peggy began. "I think her name was Lilly? No, Lorraine."

Y/n chortled. "Oh her? That blonde bimbo who curls her hair too much and applies her lipstick over the edges of her lips, man I've always-"

"Hated her?" Peggy finished. "Steve certainly didn't."

Y/n's smile quickly fell. "Steve? Did he kiss her? No... did he..."

"Just a kiss." Peggy let out a sigh, her voice lowering to a whisper. "Just a kiss."

"Still." Y/n ran a hand down the side of her face. "I can't believe it. It doesn't sound like him."

"Part of me wants to believe that. I tried to forget about it, act tough." She traced her finger around the edge of her glass. "It's been difficult finding another man who loves me the same."

The last thing she said had peeked Y/n's curiosity. She pushed any questions aside. "You don't have to share, Peg. I understand."

Peggy turned so she was fully facing Y/n and let her lips perk into a small grin. "We've known each other for a while now, haven't we? I don't think our friendship lies strictly under work now, does it?"

"Then you'll have to come over when this war ends so we can gossip alone." Said Y/n with a warm smile.

"My fiancée, Fred. He was rather lovely, but my brother Michael knew me better than I knew myself, apparently." She explained.

"You were married?" Y/n's drink had been left neglected on the counter as she listened intently.

"Engaged, until I called it off." Peggy said. "Michael had recommended me to be a field agent in the war during our engagement party, and I turned it down at first. I was ready to settle down. Become the woman my mother had raised me to become, even if it was with a man I held little feelings for."

"Michael was the first one to see me the way no other man in this world possibly could. When he died right before my wedding day, I made my decision and agreed to the invitation. I'm here because of him."

"Your brother...? God, I'm so sorry." Y/n murmured softly. "And so when you met Steve..."

"He's not perfect. He can be reckless, and clueless when it comes to women. But he's Steve." Peggy concluded.

"I give you my word, he's getting a long lecture from me tomorrow. But I'll let you in on a secret." Y/n smirked. "He's fallen for you Peg. Hard. I saw the way he looked at you even before he got the serum. He never stared in a creepy way of course, but he truly admired you. Your dedication and strength. Your charisma and resilience. He truly loves you, I know it."

Peggy lowered her head slightly to cover the blush she felt creeping up her face. "You've known him long enough to be so sure?"

"Since we were little kids on the playground." Y/n grinned fondly. "Him and Bucky were always so protective of me. As we got older, they were by my side during my mother's death and later my father's."

"No siblings?" Peggy questioned.

"My mother was too sick by time she wanted more kids. On the other hand, my father hated the fact they couldn't try to have a boy this time."

"Oh, of course." Peggy said as she rolled her eyes. "The classic 'sons over daughters' from your parents."

"Anyways, I'm making this about me." Y/n shook her head and scoffed. "What I'm trying to say is that Steve isn't just any woman chasing man who wants nothing but sex. He's always wanted love. To find a woman who didn't care about his height and build."

"You were that woman, Peg."

Peggy's cheeks almost matched the color of her cherry lipstick at Y/n's admission. She was right, despite how much he had hurt Peggy, it could be resolved. After all, she was the first woman that ever mutually loved Steve.

"I'm glad to have met you, Y/n." Peggy said after a minute. She took Y/n's hand and grasped it tightly. "I knew you'd be able to make me feel better."

"Hey, well." Y/n chuckled shyly, ducking her head. "I care a lot about you and Steve. You're the one who taught me how to be stronger in this screwed up society we live in after all."

"As 'screwed up' as it may be, we've got the chance to slowly mend it. Don't we?" Peggy raised her brows as she sipped from her glass.

Y/n hummed in agreement, the taste of the whiskey familiar as the events of the night in London replayed in her memory. It was fleeting.

"I told you about Fred and Michael. Tell me about you and Barnes." A playful grin formed on Peggy's lips as Y/n stammered awkwardly at the mere mention of his name.

"He's... he's one of my best friends. Like Steve! That's it. He's a ladies man anyways. Always taking the prettiest girls out when they come running to him, ya know?"

Peggy sat back and gave her a smug smile. "And are you not a lady?"

Y/n couldn't help the huff that left her lips at Peggy's teasing look. She wasn't wrong either.

"Okay... I mean I have thought about it. For a while. A very long time. The issue is that he's what any woman would consider perfect. He's ever the gentleman, he knows how to respect a girl and be a charming as a damn fairytale prince."

"I mean, look at me." Y/n gestured to her entire body. "I'm awkward, I don't know anything about slow dancing, and I'm absolutely penniless. He deserves so much better."

"So much better." She repeated quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor.

"Y/n." Peggy said, stopping for a moment to find the right words. "Being so hard on yourself is only going to make your life more miserable, especially if it's stopping you from taking a chance at one of the greatest treasures you could possible have."

"What's that?"

"Oh for goodness sake Y/l/n. Love!"

Y/n's mouth cracked into doubtful smile. "Who are you and what have you done with Peggy Carter?"

Peggy rolled her eyes once again, shifting around in her stool. "Oh shut it. If you don't make your move with Barnes now, someone else will. Even if he feels the same way, he'll distance himself from you if he gets the wrong message and thinks you don't fancy him."

Despite Peggy being completely right, making a move was easier said than done if it could sever such a special friendship. One Y/n held onto dearly for her entire life.

She then remembered the conversation they shared earlier. The look of disappointment on Bucky's face flashed in her head once again, each time creating a painful itch to leave and run into his arms.

"When we were eight, there was this thing we'd do on Valentine's Day where everyone would hand out cards to other kids." Y/n had suddenly said after a short moment of silence. "We had these little brown paper bags, and everyone in the class would put their cards in them. Of course, by the end of the day Bucky had so many cards, that they were overflowing out of the damn bag. Some girls from the other classes had dropped by the classroom just to add to his bag."

Peggy chuckled as she listened. "Even at eight years old, huh?"

"Steve had gotten a few, but not many. One from me, one from Bucky, and a few more from some of the others. A few months before that had been when my mother died. I couldn't bring myself to smile even once that year. It always felt so... cold. I was already an outcast to other girls my age since my best friends were two boys. And being sad all the time made it hard to communicate. That year I got a total of three cards; Bucky's, Steve's and my teacher's out of sympathy, I guess. I remember coming home that night, and something had slipped under my door. Bucky had taped all of his cards into the shape of a heart, and wrote 'to my bestest valentine ever' in big red letters."

"Lover-boy or not, he's the epitome of perfect. Even as a best friend, I'm lucky to have him in my life." The last sentence had pulled her back to reality, the slow jazz having returned to swing. Her eyes had brimmed with tears, which she quickly blinked away as a small laugh left her lips.

Peggy rested both her elbows on the counter, watching the memory grow smaller in Y/n's eyes. "After telling me that story, do you really still believe he doesn't have any feelings for you?"

She shrugged in response and downed the rest of her drink. "Oh, gosh. I love this song. I'm gonna go dance, care to join?" She held out her hand.

Peggy glanced back and forth between Y/n, and the wine she had yet to finish. "Oh screw it." She muttered under her breath, taking one last gulp and following Y/n into the crowd on the dance floor.

"Do you dance often?" Peggy yelled over the lively music.

"Only a little. Never with a partner though." Y/n said, attempting to copy the small movements the others around her were doing. "This is good enough for me."

Peggy chuckled. "That'll change soon."

Bucky was one hell of a dancer, and naturally women adored it. It was his signature end off to any date; take her to a restaurant or the beach, then take her dancing all night. Sometimes Y/n pictured a man treating her that way. Treating her like a lady, rather than an object like the very small handful of men she had regretfully given a chance.

As if on cue, she felt a light tap on her shoulder.

"S'cuse me Miss, may I have this dance?"

She turned on her heel and was met with the face of a stranger. The dimmed lights glinted off his charcoal eyes as he flashed her a smile.

When Y/n briefly turned for Peggy, she had disappeared somewhere in the crowd as more people were flooding the dance floor.

"No pressure, of course." She heard the man say. She turned back to him and his expression had softened out of nerves, awaiting her response.

"S-sure." She blurted, taking his hand.

His black curls had been slicked back, perhaps with a little too much gel. If Y/n had been completely sober, she likely wouldn't have put herself in this situation.

He was decently handsome, his skin the color of copper and rosewood. Y/n was rather more focused on the excitement and chatter growing on the other side of the room.

"I've never seen quite a girl like you around these parts." The man said in a rich British accent. She turned back around to face him.

"Is that so?"

"You're American, I assume?"

"Yeah."

"What brings you to England in such dire times?"

Y/n chuckled as he spun her around. "I'm uh... here serving in the army."

The man had paused as he processed her words. "I see. It must be terrifying for you, working as a nurse on the battlefield."

"Oh, no no." Y/n shook her head. "I'm not a nurse anymore. I was before this."

He did little to hide his confusion. "I'm not sure I follow."

Y/n fought back an eye roll. This conversation was heading in the direction she was hoping to avoid. "I'm a soldier." She said curtly, attempting to distract herself by letting him twirl her around once again.

"You? You fight in the field?"

"As a matter a fact, yes."

His lips curved into an almost mocking smile. "As in... you shoot with guns?"

"That is what soldiers do, isn't it?" Y/n sighed sourly, looking around for someone else to dance with, or better yet; an opportunity to escape. She opted to change the subject. "What about you then? What do you do?"

"Colonel Holden at your service." He winked, holding her waist and swaying in time to the music.

The laugh that escaped Y/n's lips had sounded more like a scoff. "How ironic."

"I'm sure your dreams of meeting Captain America in the field someday will come true. I bet that's what you hoped would happened when you first enlisted?" He teased. "Shame he's more of a showman than a fighter. Don't you worry darling, I don't mind keeping you safe instead."

His jackass smirk following his smug words had done it.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, I am so sorry." Y/n said innocently after jabbing his toe with the pointed heel of her shoe. Peggy was evidently right to talk her into the heels once again.

"Dumb bitch!" He snapped. "Maybe you'd know how to dance if you acted as a woman should. And I'll have you know, these shoes costed me a month's earnings!"

"I think your time as her partner ended a long time ago." A familiar voice spoke from beside them, before Holden was shoved aside.