2002 - Red Room

Winter Shadow's POV

"You're getting sloppy Natalia." I say.

"I'm sorry Miss Shadow, I'll try again." She said straightening her posture. She reloaded her gun and aimed for the head of the mannequin once more.

I had apparently been working with her for a while. I can't remember the first time I came to the Red Room to train the young girls, but Natalia had told me everything that we did, and that I promised to train her individually.

I can see why I was so fond of her. She fights incredibly, and has excellent skill beyond her level.

She took a deep breath and shot the same area three times in a row, hitting the spot perfectly each time. We had been working on her shooting again today for a couple of hours now. I wouldn't be surprised if her hands were getting tired and cramping.

"Excellent job." I praised. "Why don't we call it a day."

She nods, instantly dropping the guns down.

As I'm tidying up, I notice a deep thought seeping into her eyes. "Natalia, is something on your mind?" I ask. She looks up and me and shakes her head.

"I could get into trouble, don't worry about me." She said quietly, fumbling a gun in her hand.

I gently take it out of her hands and sit next to her. "I won't tell anyone, we can keep it between us. Now tell me, are you okay?"

She met my eyes. I give her a reassuring smile.

It stayed silent for a second as she bounced back and forth on whether she should open up to me, before suddenly blurting out, "Why did I end up here. Is the Red Room my true life's purpose? I have to undergo the final test in a few days. I'm not so sure I'll be ready for it."

I sigh and look at the ceiling before meeting her gaze again. "Natalia you are an incredible fighter, a skilled agent. You have amazing potential and I know it." I tell her.

She shakes her head. "What if I was never brought here. What would my life be like then?" Her voice had become a whisper, as if regretting her admission.

"What's life like outside of being a trained assassin?"

Before I could even answer her, Madame B knocked on the window from the hallway impatiently. She'd probably been waiting to escort Natalia to bed.

I bring her to the door and open it, apologizing to Madame B for keeping her later than I was supposed to. Even a mere two minutes was considered a lengthy delay to her.

She grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her down the hallway. Natalia turns back to give me an unsure stare before turning a corner.

I went back to the room they gave me while I trained the kids here. The bed always made a loud creak whenever I sat down on it. This always made me consider what would happen if it completely fell beneath me one night in the middle of me sleeping.

Regardless, it was still better than anything HYDRA gave me when I'm there. I'll take a noisy bed over a dingy cell any day.

I couldn't help but think about what Natalia said to me a little while ago. In a way, we're both very much the same. All she's known her whole life is living here in the Red Room. Endless training and fighting, with no life outside of it. We were so alike.

Sometime I wondered who I was before HYDRA. If I ever had real parents, maybe siblings. Have I ever been in love?

My head starts to ache and throb. I should get some rest in this comfy bed while I have the chance, I smirk to myself.

"You're a deadly assassin. You've killed dozens of people." I told myself. If anything, I shouldn't even be allowed to be near these young Red Room girls, even if they're being trained the same as me.

Later that night

Y/n's POV

I wake up clutching the front of my shirt, breathing heavily. I gently touch my face to reveal that I had been crying, as tears started to dry up on my cheeks.

Hold on a minute.

I wasn't the Winter Shadow, I was me, I was
Y/n, and I wasn't dreaming. How is this even happening? I remember everything. I remember my life back in Brooklyn in the forties. All of the missions I was forced to complete in HYDRA. What the hell was going on? I must've had a dream to trigger my memories.

I stand up shakily and stumble over to a nearby, dirty mirror. I gazed in horror at myself of who I've become. My hair was overgrown and split at the ends, my eyes were sunken, my lips were cracked and dry, and worst of all, was the scars.

My body was covered in dark, gruesome scars from all the times I was beat and tortured back in HYDRA.

Tears threatened to spill out at the realization, until I remembered something.

Bucky...

I needed to free him from HYDRA. There's no telling where he is right now, he could be on a mission, he could be at one of the many HYDRA bases hidden all across the world, but I had to find him. I thought I'd lost him back in '45 when we were on the train that day. I thought that if I just reached out just a little further, then maybe I could pull him back onto the train cart. Look where that put us both.

I shouldn't blame myself for what happened. I had to focus on finding him and getting us both out of this mess. I haven't been myself in decades, until right now. For some reason I could remember every single day of my life wasted and torn apart by HYDRA. Every person that I murdered mercilessly with that fucking dagger that the Winter Shadow cherished so much. I needed to take this one chance of freedom and run far away from all of this.

My heart shattered as more and more things came into realization. Steve... he probably lived his life with Peggy like he told me he wanted to. I wish I could hang out with her like before, talk about the pathetic men we had to deal with in the army and share a glass of wine together. All of my other friends were probably old or maybe even dead by now. It hurts so damn much to think about it.

I pace around the room anxiously. Maybe if I do find him, he'll still be in his brainwashed state and end up bringing me back to HYDRA. What if I'm able to somehow snap him out of it. We could just run away together.

My smile fades. I had never confessed my feelings officially to him. Not ever. There's a good chance he didn't feel the same.

It didn't matter. We were still best friends, and I'll still find him and save him.

I tug on the thin, flimsy chain hanging from the ceiling to turn on the faintly lit lightbulb. It was enough light to allow me to see what I was doing.

I search around for a bag of any kind. HYDRA never supplied me with one, so the only way of me carrying anything was with the pockets in my combat outfit.

Where did they put it? Surely they had it stored away for when I do the more intense training. I'd have to quietly search around the complex and find it myself.

I tug on the door knob. Locked.

Damn, how could I forget something like that? It's obvious they would lock me in here. If I tried to use my super strength, they would hear me, considering how dead silent the halls probably were. There were no windows either, so I was stumped.

The room was only about the size of a storage room. There wasn't much space for anything here other than a bed and a small dresser with a cracked mirror.

I get on my hands and knees and search around for anything I could pick the lock with.

I remember breaking into a candy store once with Steve using a bobby-pin to get Bucky a chocolate bar when he was sick. It had closed only an hour before that, but we knew getting him that chocolate would cheer him up.

I get back to what I was doing, looking for something thin and durable that I could use to break out. The screws in the bed weren't small enough to fit in the lock. I doubt I'll be able to find any pins here.

I huff and slump down on the bed, bouncing from my sudden weight.

Wait a minute.

The bed.

The springs...

Quickly, I tear off the sheets and toss the pillows aside until I'm left with a bare mattress.
I feel around for the springs, and sure enough find one.

I claw away at the fabric and yank the spring right out of the mattress. I bend and form the spring into a jagged yet straighter shape that it used to be in. I sand down the edge to sharpen it with the rusted metal from the bed frame so it would fit in the lock.

I jam the tool into the lock and skillfully maneuver it around to try and unlock the door.

As soon as I heard the "click", I smiled, and mouthed a triumphant "yes!"

I slowly twist the handle and peer through into the hallway with the door ajar. The hallway was completely dead. As far as I could tell, everyone was asleep. They usually keep a guard in the rooms that the girls were sleeping in, in case they woke up and shared their own private conversations with each other, or try to escape.

Every step I took I made sure was quiet and didn't echo. I didn't have any shoes on or any piece of clothing that would make a lot of noise. My guess it that they never even considered that my memories would suddenly come back to me, and lead me to escaping.

All I had on was a light blue T-shirt with tight, black shorts. Goosebumps prickled on my arms as I ventured further down the hallway. Either because I was cold, nervous or both.

Finally, I reached a room with a large, obvious sign in Russian that read, "Миссия снаряжения. Держись подальше." (Mission equipment. Stay away.)

Even if I couldn't find my own, I would surely find something in here that I could wear.

This time, there was a numbered keypad that unlocked the door.

"Damn." I mutter.

There was no other way to get this door unlocked. I could be here for hours trying to figure out the code.

I grip the sides of the keypad and, and gently and quietly as physically possible, tugged at the device.

I jump when it comes off with a loud crack, hoping that nobody heard it.

Surely enough, the door swung open to reveal a large room with aisles of suits in all sizes. Some of them were collecting dust from not being used. I guess it makes sense, giving that the younger girls never go on any missions. I scan the room for any trace of my suit. There was tons of different gadgets in here, similar to the ones I'd seen in the various HYDRA bases I'd been to.

I think I'm running out of time. I have no idea what time it is, and the girls all wake up at 4:00am sharp. I'll have to just give up my search and find another suit I can use.

I was able to find a jet black, leather suit that snuggly fit my body. There were plenty of hidden pockets surrounding it, so I stuffed whatever gadgets I pictured I'd need best, and headed for the kitchen. If I'm running away, I'll need a bite to eat.

Just as I'm walking down the second floor, I snatched a quick glance at a dark room to my left. A girl on the end of the row of beds was awake and sitting up, staring blankly at the ceiling. Even in the darkness, I could make out that wavy red hair anywhere.

I scan the room to find the supervisor sound asleep in a chair in the corner.

"Natalia?" I whispered.

She immediately glanced up in horror. Her expression softened when she saw me.

I flick my eyes to her wrist. She was handcuffed to the bed, along with the rest of the girls.

I tiptoe into the room and give Natalia an approving nod when she gave me a confused look.

I easily snap the metal handcuffs in half like a twig, freeing her from the restraint.

I gesture for her to follow me outside. She does so without question, but I knew she was still confused.

"Miss Shadow wha-"

"Call me Y/n." I say sternly. I remember everything Natalia, everything. My life, my real name."

Her eyes widen. "That's a nice name." She says, causing me to smile.

"Now listen, you wanna get out of here, I know, I do too. Come with me Natalia." I insist.

She stared at me astoundingly. "You know I can't."

I glance around nervously. I needed to leave, but I also wanted her to come with me. I wanted to save her from this place, or she'll end up like me.

"If we run now, we won't have to look back. Imagine it." I persuade. "It's now or never, I know I can't be forgiven for what the Winter Shadow did all these years, but you still have a chance. You can live a normal life."

She bit her nails anxiously, looking back into the bedroom before replying with a hesitant "Alright."

I grin and grab her hand, leading her down the corridor. There was a large hall where the older girls would practice their dances. In there was a long series of windows that we could break out of. I couldn't think of a single other room that had windows in this place. The idea was that the girls didn't see the outside world and get distracted. Why they had windows in this room, I couldn't tell you.

We approached a smaller window on the far left of the room. Now I see why they didn't bother to get rid of these windows. They were covered in mildew and grime, making them foggy and unclear. The only thing coming through was light, otherwise you couldn't see a thing on the other side. The biggest problem here was the fact that the window was completely shut off by thick, iron bars.

"This place really is a prison." I murmur under my breath.

"No kidding." Natalia ran her fingers down the bars.

"Guess there's no other way." I say, rolling up my sleeves.

Natalia looks at me in disbelief. "Miss Sha.. I mean Y/n, I know you're strong but I really don't think-"

Before she could finish, I started pulling two of the middle bars apart with all my strength. Beads of sweat form on my face as I bend the thick, iron bars slowly. Natalia kept glancing behind her nervously in case someone heard the creaking of the metal and my heavy breathing.

"Argh!" With one last push, I was able to finally separate the two enough for us to go through. I place my hand on the glass and squint to try and see through it.

"Okay listen, when I shatter this glass, we're gonna have to just bolt for it. They're gonna know that we escaped once it breaks. I can't do it quietly." I tell her.

She nods exasperatedly.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself.

3..

2..

...

1..!!

I smash the glass, the shards each landing on the ground with a clink-clink noise.

We climb through the hole and abruptly stop on the ledge when we find that we're about two stories high off the ground.

"It's okay, remember how I taught you to land." I remind her.

She nods hesitantly and we both jump, landing on the snow coated ground, shoulder rolling to break the impact.

We start running straight ahead towards a thick forest full of spruce trees that let almost no sunlight in. The further we went, the darker it got.

Once we were sure we'd gotten far enough, we stopped to catch our breath.

"I can't believe I just did that." Natalia heaved, hanging her head.

I laugh and look up at the towering trees. "We're free."

I take a deep breath and take in the calming scent of the trees and the cold air. The forest was beautiful and serene. The wind would make a quiet, whoosh whenever it passed through the trees and through my hair.

We started walking together and got into a deep conversation about my life before HYDRA. I told her everything from my life growing up in Brooklyn, my abusive father and what HYDRA has so far put me through.

"So cryo freeze has slowed your aging that much? I'd never expect that you've been alive since the forties." Natalia awed.

"Yeah, Steve, Bucky and I would talk about how the world might evolve and the kind of technology they'd come up with. Especially Bucky, he was a giant science nerd." I said, my smile fading slightly.

"And this Bucky you're talking about.." Natalia smirked.

"You've met him." I frown.

Natalia stopped in her tracks. "What do you mean?"

I drag my feet on the snowy ground. "Do you remember how when I first met you, you told me that there was another Winter Soldier, a man."

"With a... metal arm..?" Natalia trailed off and gaped at me. "Y/n..."

"His real name is actually James, but everyone close to him always called him Bucky. He used to be such a ladies man back in the forties, it used to make Steve jealous, even if he didn't want to admit it." I chuckle.

Natalia smiles softly. "So how'd he end up like you? Well not saying you're anything like how he was when he came to the Red Room." I stop her in acknowledgment.

"Back in 45, we were on a mission to sabotage a train rumored to have the HYDRA scientist Arnim Zola traveling on it. The train was crossing over a long bridge over an icy river. When we were fighting the HYDRA agents, one of them set off a grenade. A giant hole was blown into the wall, and Bucky went with it. He was hanging on from the outside of the train on a weak, metal bar. Steve tried everything he could to reach him, but it was no use. I told him to move aside while I tried to bring him in myself. I managed to grab onto the bar, only when it came off, I went right with it, with Bucky. We both fell into that river that day, together."

I touch my cheek to feel tears streaming down face. Natalia put her arm around me sincerely.

"I'm gonna find him, I will. And when I do, I'll make sure he's his normal self again. I'd do anything for him." I say balling up my fists.

"So where do we go from here?" Natalia looks over to me.

"Well, we can start by-"

"Stop right there Miss Shadow."

All of a sudden, Madame B emerges from behind a tree and strutted towards us. She ordered a few agents to restrain and grab ahold of us.

"Did you really believe that we wouldn't put a tracker on those suits? Natalia you should've known this."

Natalia gapes at me. "Y/n I promise I had no idea."

"That is not her name!" Madame B slaps her across the face. "Who are you to think you could just leave here with that beast. You can imagine the consequences you'll be facing when we get back."

"Wait!" I shriek. "It wasn't her idea, it was mine. I told that brat that I'd kill her if she didn't come with me." I look into her eyes apologetically. She knew what I was aiming for.

"Shut up!" The agent grunted, shoving my face into the ground.

"Hold on, let her speak." Madame B called him off. "Shadow why would you need Natalia so desperately?"

"Because she's an excellent fighter. I needed her to do my dirty work, for a personal mission of mine." I lie.

Madame B strolled up to me and grabbed my face in her hand. "You do not get to have your own life. You are a tool that we simply borrowed from HYDRA, and I do not see the need for you anymore."

I look up at her. "You needn't punish Natalia for coming with me. It wasn't her, it was me."

"Why do you choose to defend her so much?" Madame B questioned.

"You don't want such a star fighter like that gone to waste do you? If you kill her, you're only getting rid of one of your best. Besides, when I do get outta here, I'm coming back for her." I smirk before meeting Natalia's eyes and giving her a promising look.

Natalia shakes her head and gives me a pleading look. "Don't do this." She mouthed.

The agents and Madame B didn't notice her thankfully.

"You've got an excellent point Miss Shadow." Madame B acknowledges. "Go get Natalia freshened up." She points towards the building.

She then turned to a male agent standing attentively beside me. "You, get them to fix her, I don't want her back here ever." Madame B ordered.

"Right away." The agent spoke.

He called out to his team through his earpiece and said something in Russian I couldn't hear.

I take one last glance at Natalia, who's on her feet and being escorted back to The Red Room. She gave me a regretful frown before disappearing into the depths of the forest heading back to the facility.

Just then, two black trucks pulled up in front of us and came to a stop. A couple of HYDRA agents came following out towards me, along with..

Bucky..

He approached me and grabbed me by the hair to prop me up onto my feet. Before I could reason with him, the agents were shoving me into the back of the truck, along with him. How stupid could these soldiers be by putting me with him. I wasn't sure if they were aware that my memories were back, but even so, it was a ridiculous idea.

My hands were now tied behind me as I rode in the back of one of the trucks, alone, with no one else except Bucky.

"Buck, you know me." I start.

He doesn't look up. He continued fidgeting with his gloves.

"Look into my eyes Bucky, you know who I am, it's me." I plead.

"It's Y/n."

His gaze shoots up to meet my eyes. My name had clicked into his senses somehow.

I take his hands in mine. "I remember everything, I'm hoping that soon you will too."

His expression softened and I started to see him come back to himself slowly.

"We could run away together, live our lives together away from all of this, imagine it." I say softly.

"I-I don't remember." He says quietly.

"But you will soon." I assure him. "We could just break out of this truck, and run far away. They wouldn't even know."

The truck came to an abrupt stop, not giving Bucky a chance to respond. We couldn't have been to the base just yet. It was too soon.

Dozens of agents were grabbing us and holding us down onto the pavemented road, a noticeable fear in all of their eyes.

Another superior came in front of us with a smug look on his face. "Soldiers, your next mission starts as early as now. We will be taking you there after this."

"After what?" I say hoarsely, straining to see him from the numerous people holding me down.

With no response to my question, he starts chanting. Reciting the words I dreaded.

"Longing..."

"Rusted..."

I scream in agony as the words keep spilling out of his mouth. Y/n was leaving and Winter Shadow was once again, taking over. When would I be myself again?

"Furnace..."

"Daybreak..."

"Seventeen..."

"Benign..."

"Nine..."

"Homecoming..."

"One..."

Winter Shadow's POV

"Freight car..."

"Soldiers?" He asked.

"Ready to comply."

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" He asked me.

I stare at him confused.

"Perfect." He grinned.