Inspired by Community S4E6: "Conventions of Space and Time."

Third-Person POV Scenes From MythoMagic Con

"Are you sure he won't figure it out?" Piper asks as she cuddles closer into Jason's chest.

He wraps his arm around her soft waist and pulls her in closer. "Yes, I'm sure. C'mon, you know him. He's not exactly one for social cues."

This is a conversation Jason and Piper have had about a million times since they started dating in secret and about two million times since they started planning their trip to LA for the MythoMagic convention. Subsequently, they've had other conversations like, "Well, why shouldn't we invite Frank too because he likes MythoMagic?" and "Why Frank and not Hazel?" and then "Why everyone except Annabeth and Percy?" and now the entire study group is tagging along to MythoMagic Con to watch Jason, Leo, and Frank get excited for the movie that's coming out soon.

And on top of all these considerations, Jason and Piper have to hide their relationship from Leo for some weird reason that Jason won't explain.

Piper grabs her phone from the nightstand and says to her secret boyfriend, "Sorry, I keep forgetting to Venmo you for my ticket. I'm going to do that now before I forget again."

"Don't," Jason says, playfully covering the screen with his palm. "I got it."

"You don't have to," Piper says. "I'm not even in the... Is it a fandom?"

"If it has its own convention, I think it's safe to say it has a fandom," he explains.

Piper yawns instead of replying and wipes the sleep from her eyes. "You know I don't want this, but you should probably sneak out before-"

"Piper! Wakey wakey! Eggs and bakey!" Leo calls through the bedroom door.

"Shit," Jason swears.

Piper sits up, holding the sheet over her body as she lazily watches Jason search for his clothes. "Woah, Sparky."

She reaches over the side of her bed for her sweatshirt, which she doesn't remember throwing behind the headboard last night after their bowling date. Just in time, she puts it on.

Leo bursts through the door, looking at something on his two-in-one tablet laptop. "So today's itinerary includes a panel with some of the cast members of the MythoMagic movie, about an hour to look around at the merch booths before all the good stuff is gone—good morning, Jason—and then lunch at the burger place down the street."

"Hey, Leo," says Jason. "I swear this isn't what it looks like."

Leo shrugs. "I know you're boyfriend and girlfriend. That's why you wanted Piper to come to the convention so badly."

"Aww, Jason," Piper teases.

Leo grins, knowing that he's gained an ally. "Yeah, he was all like please, Leo, we owe it to her as roommates and I just know she'd love a signed Aphrodite card."

Jason facepalms while Leo and Piper continue laughing.

"Okay, but we do need to talk logistics," Leo says. "Are you okay if we take your truck, Piper? Jason's van is in the shop again and my baby can't do highways."

And by 'baby,' he's referring to his antique Cadillac Coupe DeVille, which still runs, miraculously.

"Yeah, that's fine," says Piper.

"The others are going to meet us there in Percy's Jeep," Leo explains. "Annabeth and Percy are going to get us all checked into the hotel so we can get in line for autographs sooner."

"That's great and all," says Jason, "but can I please put some pants on before we get into this?"

✎✎✎

"I'm so glad Leo was able to score us tickets," Frank says from the backseat of Percy's Jeep. "I was worried I'd have to go with the MythoMagic Club, and none of them drive, so I'd have to get van certified."

"That's nice," Annabeth says, turning up the radio. As shotgun, she earned Bluetooth privileges and is now making the entire car listen to Mother Mother.

At one point, Hazel whispers to Frank asking if she should be concerned that Annabeth listens to such angsty music, and then judging her song choices becomes their activity for the car ride.

"Hey, can I play something?" Hazel asks.

Because it's impossible to say no to Hazel, Annabeth passes her phone back and Hazel scrolls through her playlist, looking to see if there's an ounce of happiness in there.

"MCR, Green Day, old Fall Out Boy... Is she okay?" Frank whispers.

"Watch this." Hazel hits play on a pop song from 2012, just to see Annabeth's reaction to something so... bubbly.

I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me, I'll never tell, I looked to you as it fell-

"Goddammit..." Annabeth mumbles before taking a sip from the Cherry Coke Percy bought her at the gas station.

"So," says Percy. "Who's the best MythoMagic character, Frank? Gotta be the war dude since the game's about battle strategy, right?"

"Well, not necessarily," says Frank. "You have to have the right expansion decks and weapons cards to win with Ares. I prefer Apollo, but he'll lose to Zeus every time. Most of the characters lose to Zeus though."

"So is that like a legendary Pokémon?" Percy asks.

Frank purses his lips while Carly Rae Jepsen launches into the next verse. "I mean, kind of? It depends on what you equip him with and what his opponent is."

"Oh, so like how a water type will beat a fire type. So Poseidon will beat Hephaestus?"

"I mean, usually, yeah, but if you have the Greek Fire expansion pack you might be able to-"

"Cool, so like Pokémon!" Percy pats his hands against the steering wheel, feeling quite proud of his connection.

Hazel snickers. "Don't think I don't hear you humming along, Annabeth."

"I am not. I would never."

Percy hits the turn signal and then the GPS says, "Your destination is on your right."

So of course, everyone looks to the right, trying to look for the hotel. "What's everyone going to do when we get there?" Percy asks.

Frank furrows his eyebrows and sets down the pamphlet he was reading. "Uh, follow Leo's itinerary? Get in line for autographs?"

Hazel looks at Frank and then she looks at Percy. "What are you guys doing when we get there?"

"Well, uh, we were going to go to the aquarium, and then the Funko Pop store, and then-"

"Wait, you guys aren't going to the convention?" Frank asks.

Annabeth queues another Mother Mother song. "We're going to the convention before the concert tonight."

"The concert?" Hazel asks.

"Yeah, we're seeing Måneskin."

Frank gasps. "You got tickets to see Måneskin?"

Annabeth turns around and faces her friends. "Why do you think we're dressed like this?"

"Oh," Frank and Hazel say in unison as they realize. Annabeth's wearing a leather jacket over a sparkly bralette and has her hair done up in space buns. Percy is wearing a mesh muscle shirt and a bucket hat. Their faces are both shiny with glitter. These two are going to a concert.

Percy puts the Jeep in a parking spot and then pulls the key from the ignition. "Well, folks, we did it. Good trip everyone. Shoutout to Frank for not coming down with a case of 'nervous tummy.' Shoutout to Annabeth for the tunes. Shoutout to Hazel for playing Carly Rae Jepsen. Shoutout to me for not speeding once."

"Percy," Annabeth says. "You drove five miles below the speed limit the entire way here."

"And I didn't speed once."

✎✎✎

Annabeth takes a sip from the mimosa she got at the hotel bar. She does not have money to spend on mimosas, but it's okay because she told the bartender to put it on the New Rome MythoMagic Club's tab. That's believable.

She feels like some sort of mysterious Hollywood wife or something, sitting here in her big sunglasses and the bucket hat she stole from Percy on their way in.

"Another mimosa, ma'am?" the bartender asks.

See? The people here respect her. Annabeth could get used to LA. "Yes, please."

Percy takes a seat on the stool next to her. "So I've got some bad news."

"Okay?" she asks, lowering her glasses.

"You have to make a reservation to go to the Funko Pop store," he says. The bartender does a doubletake when she sees Percy and then shakes her head.

"Okay? So we'll find something else to do. More time at the aquarium. We'll catch a dolphin show."

Percy sighs. "Half the exhibits are closed. The touch pools are closed." Someone in the lobby points to Percy and whispers something to their friend, who is dressed in some kind of gladiator cosplay.

"Damn, I wanted to touch a starfish today," Annabeth says. There's still a silver lining. "Guess we'll just be super early for Måneskin."

Percy takes in a breath through his teeth. "I gotta tell you something."

"You didn't forget the tickets, did you?"

"No. Jesus, why are all these people taking pictures of me?" His words cause the group on the other side of the bar to lower their phones.

Annabeth takes another long sip from her mimosa. "So what's wrong?"

"The tickets... They're, well... Where did you say you bought them from?"

"The drug dealer that lives down the hall from me. Why?"

"Annabeth, we got scammed."

She downs the rest of her mimosa and says, "Excuse me? We're not seeing Måneskin tonight? What are we even doing here? Should we just drive back?"

Percy takes a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the bar and says, "I mean, we could go to the convention with the others."

"Oh, sure, hang out with all the MythoMagic nerds. C'mon, let's go back to your place and watch Rocky Horror."

Percy groans. "But we always watch Rocky Horror. Besides, if MythoMagic is anything like Pokémon, this might be kind of fun." He gestures toward a group of teenagers playing a card game in the lobby.

"No," Annabeth says. She grabs her backpack. "I'm going up to my room, and I am going to take a nap." She starts to stomp off until Percy cuts her off.

"About that..."

Annabeth turns around. "What?"

"Something went wrong with the booking, and they couldn't get us the adjoining rooms anymore."

"And?"

"And... Well, you'll see. The reservation is in my name."

The door to the Best Western Hotel opens with a ding, and then some guy dressed like Gerard Way steps out of the rapidly turning revolving door and proceeds to barf into his McDonald's Happy Meal.

Percy waves to Hazel's half-brother, Nico.

"MythoMagic geeks. Idioti! Tutti!" he mutters to nobody in particular as he takes a seat at the bar.

"Aren't you a MythoMagic geek?" Percy asks.

Nico rolls his eyes. "I'm a member of the MythoMagic fandom, but not a geek. I'm a little more classy than... those guys," he says, referring to the college students—the grown-ass adults—playing in the revolving door. So that must be what caused Nico to barf.

Will takes a seat at the bar on the other side of Percy. "I can't believe I got van certified for that. Next time, let's just take the Vespa."

"Retweet," says Nico. Then, he orders drinks for him and Will under the MythoMagic Club's tab.

"Hey, can I ask you guys a weird question?" Percy asks.

At the same time, Nico says, "No," and Will says, "Absolutely!"

"Cool, so I feel like people are... staring at me? And like, taking pictures? Is it because I'm dressed for Måneskin?" he asks.

"Wait, you're seeing Måneskin?" Nico asks.

That's a sore spot for Percy. "Not anymore."

Will looks around at the MythoMagic Convention attendees and then back at Percy. An invisible lightbulb appears above his golden curls and he snaps his finger. "I got it! Oh, dude, you're going to think this is so cool..." He taps away on his phone, frantically searching for something.

"There!" Will says. "You look like the actor playing Poseidon in MythoMagic: The Movie."

"Woah," Nico says. "You're right. He even looks like the picture on my trading card. Speaking of trading cards, we're not buying the ones with the actors on them, right?"

"I mean, they'll be collectors' items in like twenty years," says Will.

Nico grunts and then sips his drink.

✎✎✎

Not only does Annabeth have to share a hotel room with Seaweed Brain, but now there's only one bed. What a terrible thing to happen! She knew they should have just gone back to Berkeley to watch Rocky Horror. She would have even let Percy put the British version on if he wanted!

Anyway, she's tired, so she flops down onto the bed, not caring that the contents of her purse are spilling out onto the floor.

Shit. Now she's hungry. It's a good thing this room is in Percy's name.

She opens the drawer on the bedside table and scans the directory for a room service number. Bingo.

Then, she sifts through the drawer for... Aha! A menu.

She could go for... Crab macaroni and cheese? Damn.

She dials the number and waits for someone to pick up the phone on the other line.

"Hello! Room service speaking. What room are you in?"

"Hey," says Annabeth. "I'm up in..." she looks at her key. "204."

"And what can I get for you, Mrs. Jackson?"

Mrs. Jackson. It echoes in her brain like a song.

Mrs. Jackson. Is that someone she wants to be? She never really saw herself thriving as a married woman, but if respect is one of the perks that come with the title, she might have to indulge.

She runs her finger across the laminated text and finds the meal she picked out. "Can I get the crab macaroni and cheese?"

"Anything else, Mrs. Jackson?"

Oh, what the hell? "Yeah, can I get a couple of hard seltzers?"

When the food arrives, she eats her macaroni and cheese with actual silverware. Her lunch isn't even in one of those styrofoam containers. She was fully prepared for the crab meat to separate from the pasta and for the pasta to be under or overcooked, but it's not! It's amazing!

She'll be ordering more of this. Like, right away. Where'd that menu go?

✎✎✎

The convention hall is full of people, enough people for Percy to say, "Hey, you see this? This is the reason why I chose a small community college."

"Thank you for sharing," Nico says. "Can we get in line for autographs?"

"I want to meet Tristan McLean!" Will says. "He's going to be amazing as Ares." He grabs his boyfriend by the hand and leads him through a crowd of cosplayers, leaving Percy completely in the dust, and at the mercy of cameras, and more fans who think he looks like Poseidon.

"No, I'm not a cosplayer. No, I'm not him," he mutters as he pushes his way through the crowd. He's hungry. Maybe he can buy an overpriced hotdog or something.

"Oh my gods, is that—Oh, shoot. Sorry, random person!" a girl says.

Percy whips around to give her a quick It's okay, random girl, but it's not some random girl, and now he's the one who has to apologize. "Oh, hey, Rachel!"

"Hey, Percy! How are things at New Rome?"

He hasn't seen Rachel Elizabeth Dare since she transferred to some fancy private art school back in New York after their freshman year. She deserves it; she's very talented, but admittedly, Percy misses her happy-go-lucky presence on campus.

"It's great," he says, answering her question. "The whole gang's here: Piper, Jason, Leo-"

"Annabeth?" she asks.

He's not sure why Rachel might ask him about Annabeth, but he says, "Yeah, she's back in our hotel room."

"Oh, cool. So are you into MythoMagic?" she asks.

"Uh, not really. My friends are, though, and they invited me to tag along to the convention. It's a funny story, really. Annabeth and I had this whole plan to spend our day out in the city, but then the Måneskin tickets were a scam and... Yeah."

Rachel nods vigorously. "That is just so so cool! Do you want to walk around the convention together? I'm hoping to get my vintage Oracle of Delphi trading card signed by its original artist."

It's so nice to reconnect with Rachel, so Percy agrees to explore the MythoMagic convention with her.

✎✎✎

Will pays for their tacky photo in the MythoMagic-themed photobooth and then shows it to Nico.

"Gross, I have a cowlick," Will says, laughing at himself.

"Nah, you're fine," Nico says. "I'm the one who looks like death. The flash does not treat me well."

Will just laughs and throws his arm around his boyfriend. "C'mon, I want to try to win a Cerberus plushie."

"Excuse me, young men," a guy in a suit says.

Will scratches his neck. "Hey?"

"Would you be willing to join us in conference room B down the hall for a test screening of MythoMagic: The Movie?"

No. Freakin'. Way.

"Absolutely!" says Nico. He takes the envelope from the businessman and tears it open.

"Wow! So we just go over and we get to watch the movie?" Will asks.

Nico reads the cardstock invitation and answers, "Yep, pretty much. They're just going to pause it periodically and ask us questions about it."

"But other than that," Will says, "we get to see it before everyone else?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome!"

They exit the convention hall and enter the real world. People do not dress like Greek gods in the real world, something Nico and Will almost forgot while they were in MythoMagic heaven.

"You boys here for the screening?" a woman in a pencil skirt asks.

Nico nods and hands her the invitation they were given. She hands them each a lanyard with a nametag and a clipboard with a survey on it.

"You may be asked to give verbal reactions periodically throughout the screening," she informs them.

"Cool, thanks," says Will. He and Nico enter the room and find seats near the front. The test audience is diverse, but there are a lot more children than one might think considering the fan base is primarily college students and gay millennial men. It's concerning that the movie might not be rated PG-13.

"Hello, everyone," says a representative from the film studio. "Thank you all so much for volunteering to take part in our first-ever screening of MythoMagic: The Movie. Please make sure to silence your cell phones. Filming or posting content from the film is strictly prohibited. Throughout the movie, please record your thoughts and reactions on the sheet below, and as you were told as you entered, the film may be paused between some scenes so we can hear verbal reactions. Thank you, and please enjoy MythoMagic: The Movie."

Nico takes a bite of a chocolate bar and gives the rest to Will to finish when the Universal Studios logo hits the screen.

One thing that stands out to them is that the movie is animated. There's nothing wrong with animation. It's just that they thought this movie would be live-action, and now they know for sure that they're going for kid-friendly. It's Greek mythology. Nothing about it is kid-friendly.

The animation style is gorgeous, so Nico and Will write that down on their response sheets. The rivers are wonderful, and the design of the nymphs is gorgeous.

The movie is about a kid named Mythius, which isn't very creative, but there probably weren't many names to choose from if Mythius is supposed to encounter other Greek characters throughout the movie.

Then Mythius is visited by Pegasus, which is awesome. Pegasus is just how he's supposed to be—not a white god-like horse, but a remnant of every horse out there. He's representative of all of them.

And then Pegasus speaks. "Hey yo! Did I hear something about a hero looking for a noble steed?"

It's worse than anything imaginable.

Pegasus is voiced by Chris Pratt, and he's acting completely stupid. This isn't Minions. This is Greek mythology!

Nico writes frantically on his response sheet because this is wrong! This is so wrong!

Will writes something on his sheet too, but Nico can't see what it is in the darkness of the room.

When Pegasus finishes singing a song about friendship being magical, the representative pauses the film. "Would anybody like to walk me through how they're feeling right now? Yes, you in the black—walk us through your reactions right now."

Nico stands up, which might be a little dramatic, but he doesn't care. "This isn't what MythoMagic is about! Where are all the battles? Where's the fighting and the swords? Why is the main character named Mythius? Also, as a gay man, I'm offended that Chris Pratt is voicing Pegasus."

"Okay, thank you for your feedback," the moderator says. A secretary writes that down.

Will raises his hand.

"Yes?"

"I like how their friendship is being compared to magic. It works, so like, by collecting more friends, they'll be able to conquer anything," he says.

The secretary writes that down too.

A little kid starts talking, but neither of the boys pays any attention. "Will, are you for real? This is ridiculous. This is an insult to our favorite game."

"Don't you think these are valuable lessons that a new generation of MythoMagic fans should get through the game?"

✎✎✎

Piper throws her boxed lunch out in the trash can and then turns to Leo. "What's next on the itinerary? Should we check out the Walk of Fame? Go try some new pizza joints? Funko Pop store?"

Leo checks his printed-out checklist. "Um, everything is back at the convention hall. We still haven't gotten any of our cards signed by the artists yet."

"I want to buy a t-shirt," Jason says, helpful as ever.

But that's a little too close to the actors' booth! Piper managed to escape the panel this morning, but there's no telling how many opportunities there may be for her to run into him. Maybe she should fake a migraine and go hang out with Annabeth... wherever she ended up.

No, she can't do that to Jason, even if that means behaving herself in front of her dad, Tristan McLean.

She's not looking forward to that.

Nevertheless, she follows Jason and Leo back into the convention hall and fakes interest when they get their Poseidon trading cards signed by some actor she's supposed to know. She does genuinely get excited when Leo picks up the MythoMagic dice he custom ordered online. They're gorgeous.

"Wow, those are like rubies, Leo," Piper says.

"Thanks," he says, and then he rambles about something they're supposed to represent, and she loses his train of thought.

Then there are the actors' booths, and she can't help but do everything in her power to draw her friends away. "Guys, are you sure you don't want to go look at more merch? Jason, I think I do want a Medusa plushie."

"Piper, this could be our one chance to meet the voice actors!" Leo says. "I heard Chris Pratt is here!"

She scans the tables, which is hard to do because they've all got these massive lines in front of them. She sees a couple of actors she doesn't recognize, which would typically include her dad. It would be cool if some of the big-name actors other than Chris Pratt were here because she heard a rumor that Lady Gaga might be voicing Athena.

But that's not the case. Lady Gaga isn't the one people are lined up to see.

"Tristan McLean, I love you!"

"Oh my gods, I can't believe he's here!"

"Tristan McLean, I'm a reporter from..."

It's awful. When she was a kid, Piper would always try to avoid these kinds of events because it's so easy to slip away from Piper and slip into the role of Tristan McLean's daughter.

So she slips under a table and crawls on her hands and knees. The hard linoleum flooring hurts her kneecaps, but it's fine. She'll do just about anything to get away from him, including coming face-to-face with some guy's toe fungus.

Crawl, Piper, she says to herself. Crawl like the wind.

And then a tablecloth is thrown up overtop the table. The slight wind gust blows Piper's braid into her face. She's mildly annoyed at the sight of Jason's blue Nike sneakers.

She reaches for the tablecloth and attempts to cover herself back up, except her plans are thwarted!

He sticks his head under the table, and Piper takes note that his perfect hairstyle is still in place. How much gel does this guy use?

"Hey," he says.

"Hello," she replies. "I'm leaving now."

Jason cocks an eyebrow. God, that boy is such a golden retriever. "Why would you want to do that?"

Piper pulls him closer by the collar of his shirt. "Because my dad is here."

"Oh." Jason pushes his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose and frowns. "If you were uncomfortable running into your dad you could have just said so."

"Whoopsie?" Piper says sheepishly.

Jason offers his hand. "Can you please get up now? People are staring."

She can't have people staring at her, so she takes his hand and crawls out from under some MythoMagic online content creator's booth.

✎✎✎

Meanwhile, back in the hotel lobby, Annabeth has fully embraced her role as Mrs. Jackson. She's changed into the little black dress she packed "just in case," and is sipping another mimosa while shooting some pool.

CRACK!

"Hell yeah!" Annabeth shouts as a ball sails into the corner pocket. "Hit me with another one of those shrimp baskets, will ya?"

"Of course, Mrs. Jackson." A waitress grabs the basket of shells and scurries away to the kitchen.

This is the life, Annabeth thinks to herself. Never had she ever considered married life, but it's turning out to be a dream. She could do this. She could marry some old rich guy, follow him along on every business trip, and then make herself at home with the hotel's amenities while sneaking a mistress into her room when her husband gets "caught up with a meeting..."

Woah. Maybe she should cool it with the mimosas.

She sets her glass at the edge of the bar. "Got anything good on tap?" she asks the bartender, lowering her obnoxiously large sunglasses.

The bartender pushes a brunette lock behind her ear and stutters as she lists a bunch of beers, and yeah, Annabeth notices her mispronunciation of "Yuengling."

"That all sounds good. I'll admit, I'm not much of a beer drinker; I usually leave that to my husband. Tell me, Trina..." she says, reading off the worker's nametag, "What is it that you like?"

It sure does pay to be Mrs. Jackson.

✎✎✎

Meanwhile, it seems New Rome's favorite grumpy-sunshine pairing has hit a strange bump in their relationship. After all, most couples can honestly say they've never fought like this.

"You can't do this to Polyphemus! He's a feared cyclops! I mean, sure, he's a bit of a doofus, but he's not some softie that can be cured with the power of friendship and rainbows!" Nico shouts, waving his arms around in anger.

Will scoffs. "Watch out, babe, your inner Italian is coming through."

"I will not stand by and watch my favorite piece of media be... be completely butchered by a bunch of idiots!"

Will bites his lip and then stands up. "Hey," he says, putting his arm on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Don't 'hey' me! Don't you see what they're doing? MythoMagic isn't about found family! It's about conquering. Veni, Vidi, Vici, and all that. Don't you see Will?" Nico asks with tears of frustration welling in his eyes.

"Okay, I know where you're coming from, but-"

"They took MythoMagic and turned it into a shit show!"

That's just too far for Will. "Nico, there are children present..." he hisses.

"I know, and I want them to have the same awesome MythoMagic experience that we had-"

"Nico! Enough!" Will shouts.

And that's how Will and Nico got kicked out of the early screening of MythoMagic: The Movie.

✎✎✎

"And that's the story of how I met my loyal hubby!" What is wrong with Annabeth? She used to make fun of people who say 'hubby.' She was single, she was independent, and she was... not a liar.

"Another basket of shrimp, Mrs. Jackson?" a waiter asks.

She's been lurking around the hotel lobby for so long that some of the staff have changed shifts.

And they haven't even kicked her out or pushed a glass of water on her. Awesome. Annabeth Chase is winning the married life, or should she say, Annabeth Jackson is winning the married life. Now, where's Trina?

"Ah, Trina!" Annabeth says. "Remind me again what you said you were studying?"

"Uh, social work, ma'am," the bartender Trina says, color rising to her face. God, if she weren't so sweaty, Annabeth would consider cheating on her husband.

"Very interesting." That's a boring major though, so she just nods and picks up the newspaper lying on the barstool next to her. Time for some crosswords.

Hmm, a ten-letter word for a popular game franchise. Could it be Pokémon? No, that's not enough letters, and the Washington Post probably doesn't account for accent marks.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Jackson?" Trina asks, looking a little sweatier than she did two minutes ago.

"Yes?" Annabeth asks. Can these people let her work on the damn crossword puzzle she just picked up a minute ago?

"I'm so sorry... I've never done this before..."

Oh no. Is this what she thinks this is? "Listen, I ate a lot of shrimp today, and I'm not really in the mood for-"

"It's your husband."

At first, Annabeth thinks this girl is calling her out for her lack of loyalty to her husband. After all, she used shrimp as an excuse to not sleep with Trina instead of Mr. Jackson, but then Trina continues to ramble.

"I was on my break with a couple of the other servers, and well... Your husband is the one with the black tank top, right ma'am?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, we saw him with another woman, and we're not sure, but we think he might be, uh-"

Well then.

Annabeth never thought she'd get cheated on by her fake husband who doesn't even know he's her fake husband, but here she is.

"Oh no, there he is," Trina whimpers.

"Relax. I've got this," Annabeth says.

She doesn't want to do this.

She slams her crossword against the bar, startling the other bartender.

She really doesn't want to do this.

She grabs her mimosa and hops off her stool, but not before taking off those crazy sunglasses. She's been told a few times that she has startling eyes, so she might as well make use of them.

Good god, Percy doesn't deserve this.

Annabeth marches across the lobby towards him and... Is that Rachel? Annabeth thought Rachel transferred.

Annabeth also thought Rachel was asexual, but everyone is looking at her. These poor workers haven't had quality entertainment in forever, and Mrs. Jackson is about to give it to them. No way can she let them down.

"Seaweed Brain!" she shouts, trying to muster up some of that anger from when he broke off their friends-with-benefits situation.

He was smiling and laughing with Rachel until he heard that. It was probably nice for them to reconnect at the convention. Hell, he's got a tiny trident painted on his cheek. There's no way Annabeth can handle the guilt of ruining his perfect day with an old friend.

But she does it anyway.

"I can't believe you!" she screams hysterically. "You told me you were out on business, and I have to find out from the bartender that you've been parading around with this..." She can't call Rachel a mean name. "Woman?!?"

"Wise Girl, what in the-"

"Don't you call me that! You've already humiliated me enough!"

Percy cocks an eyebrow and looks at Rachel for some kind of explanation.

But Mrs. Jackson isn't done publicly berating her husband. "Does our marriage mean nothing to you?"

Percy's jaw drops. She's really in for it now. There goes all the hard work she's done to repair her friendship with Percy, and now-

"Oh my god, Percy!" Rachel says, slapping his arm. "You didn't tell me you were married!"

That's an interesting reaction.

"I... What?"

Rachel paces back and forth. "I mean, I could tell you and Annabeth were going to become a thing, but I never thought you guys would be a ring-by-spring couple... Oh, Annabeth! I am so sorry! You deserve so much better!"

Thanks to Rachel, the charade is alive and well. Waiters, waitresses, bartenders, custodians, and maids alike stare, their mouths agape. Some of them have their phones angled towards the spectacle, no doubt to film Mrs. Jackson when she loses the last ounce of her sanity.

"I can't believe you!" Annabeth cries. Then, she dumps her bright orange mimosa down the front of Percy's netted shirt—the one he was going to wear to the Måneskin concert. Even she winces at her actions. That's going to be so sticky later. He's going to attract flies.

Maybe she should get a couple of paper towels and help the guy out.

Mrs. Jackson wouldn't be so kind though, so she storms off to the elevator. She needs a nap.

✎✎✎

For some reason, Percy isn't so surprised to find Annabeth face-down in bed. Initially, he left the convention to confront her about whatever the hell happened in the hotel lobby in front of all those people, but now she looks so peaceful and-

Nope. He's not going to fall for it this time.

"Annabeth, wake up," he says, rocking her back and forth in the blankets.

She waves her arm indistinctly and rolls over.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on, Mrs. Jackson?"

That does it. She sits up with more spring than a jack-in-the-box and says, "Shit, I didn't—I mean—I wasn't-"

"What were you thinking?" he asks.

"I wasn't?"

He scoffs. "Clearly."

She rubs the sleep out of her eyes and says, "Look, I messed up, and I'm sorry. Can I go back to sleep now?"

Percy shrugs. "At the very least you owe me an explanation. Besides, the convention is almost over and Leo promised fettuccine alfredo for dinner."

Annabeth rolls her eyes and then runs her hand through her unruly curls. "Listen, so you know how you left me in here to rot when I was looking forward to exploring LA with you?"

He stops tapping his foot. "I invited you to come to the convention! They had face painting and walking tacos and crying babies and... a lot of other things you don't like. Okay. I see your point."

"Yeah, so I was super bored and I ordered room service and learned that married women get a lot of perks so I thought I'd have a little fun, and then the bartender saw you with Rachel and that's when it went too far." She shrinks back into the pillows.

"You didn't think this went too far when you changed outfits?" Percy asks.

"Would you be mad if I said no?"

There are about a million reasons why Percy can justifiably get mad over this. His friend bought a ton of mimosas on the MythoMagic club's tab and then dumped one all over Percy's totally slayin' concert outfit.

Then again, it was the MythoMagic club's tab—not his, and the outfit was for the Måneskin concert he didn't get to go to.

So he just laughs.

"Hey!" Annabeth objects. "It's not that funny!"

Percy fists the sheets just to keep himself from rolling off the bed. "They thought I was cheating on you with Rachel! It's hysterical!"

"Just to make it very clear," Annabeth says, "if we were married for some reason, I would kick your ass if you cheated on me, especially if it were with Rachel."

He scoffs. "It's a good thing Rachel's aro-ace."

She agrees. "That's gotten us out of a lot of arguments."

She's right, Percy realizes, but why would someone else's sexuality have gotten them out of-

He needs to stop thinking about this. Annabeth doesn't like him like that. They're just friends who tease each other and pretend to be married on occasion. "So," he says, changing the subject, "I take it you enjoyed being Mrs. Jackson?"

Annabeth rolls her eyes and swats him on the arm, but Percy sees the pink tint rise to her face. "I guess there were some benefits."

"You know, if Leo were here, he'd be finding some reason why this is exactly like an episode of Friends or something."

"Woah, woah, give Leo some credit," Annabeth objects. "He watches like, Community and Better Call Saul."

"I don't think that last one is a sitcom," Percy says, "but my point is that he would be all over this. Like, we're about to make a marriage pact and he's missing the entire thing."

Annabeth opens her mouth like she's about to say something, and then closes it. Finally, she comes up with a response. "I'm going to be completely honest with you, Seaweed Brain. I did not see that coming."

Shoot. Percy thought this conversation was going in a completely different direction. Then again, how could Annabeth not predict that? Their lives seem to be based on a series of common sitcom tropes, so it only makes sense that someone in the study group would have a marriage pact—one of those agreements that if neither is married by the time they hit, what, thirty-five, they'll just marry each other for the tax benefits.

"I mean, it's not a terrible plan," Annabeth says, much to his surprise, and apparently hers too considering the shell-shocked look on her face.

"Cool," Percy says. "So like, thirty-five? Or thirty?"

"That's less than ten years away," Annabeth says. "What if we go for forty?"

"I can't have my mom riding my ass for that long... thirty-seven?"

Annabeth smirks. "Oddly specific, Seaweed Brain." She spits into her hand and offers a handshake. "I like it."

Percy follows suit, spitting into his hand and mixing his saliva with Annabeth's, albeit not in the way he would have preferred, but it's something.

✎✎✎

The New Rome Seven study group has certainly had enough of MythoMagic Con, so with bags that were never unpacked in the first place, they meet in the parking lot late that evening, ready to disperse between Piper's RAM truck, Percy's blue Jeep, and the New Rome Community College van that the MythoMagic club got here in.

"Well," says Nico, "Will's the only person here who earned his van certification, so we're going to hop in the van." He stomps off to the passenger side of the van, Will closely in tow.

Before climbing into the driver's seat, Will calls to the rest of the study group, "Hey, MythoMagic: The Movie? It's not worth it." Then, he buckles his seatbelt and starts the engine.

"Wow," says Leo. "That muffler is worse than yours, Jason!"

"Shut up," Jason grumbles.

Piper grabs his hand and says, "Ready to go?"

"Wait," says Leo. "Who's driving Frank and Hazel?"

"Has anyone seen them all day?" Jason asks.

As if on cue, Hazel and Frank storm into the parking lot from God-knows-where.

"Sorry for being late!" Frank pants. He opens the backseat passenger door to Percy's Jeep. That answers the group's question: Frank and Hazel will ride home with Percy and Annabeth.

"Catch you guys in class on Monday!" Percy says.

Jason and Piper wave back before getting into their respective sides of the truck. Leo, on the other hand, has the hood of the vehicle propped open and is stroking an invisible beard while staring into the engine.

"I'd say we'll race you back, but I wouldn't want to be rude!" Annabeth shouts before slamming the door shut.

Percy starts the engine while the others buckle their seatbelts, and can't help but notice the familiar tune Hazel's humming. "Måneskin? I didn't realize you liked them too," he says.

"Yeah, Frank got me into them!" Hazel chirps from the backseat. "We actually went to their concert tonight."

"Oh my gosh, they were amazing!" Frank says.

Before he puts the car in drive, Percy looks across the center console to Annabeth, whom he may or may not have committed to a life of marriage with.

She takes an anger-management breath and keeps her tight grip on the door's handle.

"I caught one of the free fanny packs they threw into the crowd!" Frank says, flashing his concert merch in the rearview mirror for Percy to see.

Hazel beams as she says, "My arm was coated in some other girl's boob sweat. It was amazing—an amazing time, I mean."

The couple goes back and forth, listing their favorite highlights from Percy and Annabeth's dream concert.

"I loved the part with the fire and the confetti-"

"And then when they sang 'Chosen!'"

"And when the guitarist crowd-surfed!"

"And the encore-"

"Yes, the encore was amazing!"

Percy is about to pull this Jeep over to the side of the road before even pulling out of his parking space. They can't be serious. Hazel and Frank skipped out on the last of MythoMagic Con to see Måneskin? No freakin' way. That was supposed to be his awesome time with Annabeth. He was going to dance with strangers and she was going to experiment with marijuana for the first time since high school, and they were going to lose their minds over how gorgeous the band members are and have arguments over which one is the hottest (it's the bassist). Altogether, that concert is the highlight of the most amazing night they never got to have.

And Hazel and Frank—sweet innocent Hazel and goofball Frank—went to the Måneskin concert in a jumper and a collared polo t-shirt.

Annabeth hooks her phone up to the Bluetooth and queues some Mother Mother while Percy reverses out of the parking spot and steers the blue Jeep with the hula girl on the dashboard back to New Rome Community College.