Inspired by Community S2E8: "Cooperative Calligraphy"

Jason POV

"And... done!" Piper shouts. "Hell yeah! Done with midterms!"

"Piper, you glued my head on upside-down," says Jason. He pries off Tiny Jason's head and flips it over. Their midterm project for their mythology class is awesome, to say the least. It's a diorama of Jason and the Argonauts on their quest for the Golden Fleece. All the coolest heroes are on the ship. Jason, Heracles, Orpheus... Did he mention Jason?

This project was a lot of fun if you ask him. Sure, blood, sweat, and tears were literally poured into it. Yes, even blood. Don't give poor clumsy Frank an X-ACTO knife.

"Seriously, everybody, great job on this project," says Percy. "There's no team I would have rather worked with."

Everyone gushes over Percy's sentimentality. Then, right on cue, the intercom buzzes with an exciting message: "I suppose I should congratulate you brats on finishing up your midterm examinations," barks Dean D. There's some shuffling around, and Jason's pretty sure he can hear Mr. Brunner scold the grouchy dean.

Mr. Brunner continues the message. "This is a reminder that the post-midterms cornhole tournament is happening on the lawn in half an hour. Teams will need to be punctual. Registration is limited."

"Woohoo! Cornhole!" shouts Piper. "Annabeth, are we still a team?"

"I'm going to kick that Clarisse La Rue's ass if it's the last thing I do!" Annabeth pumps her fist in the air.

Everyone gathers their backpacks, ready to watch Annabeth and Piper win the cornhole tournament. The prize is a gift certificate to the new Jamba Juice that opened up down the street from campus, and the girls promised to share if—when—they win.

"Hey, guys, has anybody seen my pen?" Percy asks.

Jason halfheartedly checks underneath the table. No pen.

"What does it look like?" Hazel asks.

"It's blue, and it has a clownfish on it."

"Sorry, bro, haven't seen it," says Jason.

"We'll keep an eye out," says Frank. He holds the door open for Hazel and Piper.

"Woah, guys, you can't just leave!" Percy says. "We need to find my pen." Jason's never seen Percy so panicked before. He's usually the casual levelheaded one, and now he's all worked up over a stupid pen? Jason's never seen anything like it.

"Are you sure you had it when you got here?" Leo asks.

"Yes, I'm sure. C'mon, help me find it!"

"You lost a pen, Seaweed Brain," says Annabeth. "Get over it." She follows the others to the door.

Percy stands up and shouts, "NO!"

The girls turn around and Frank shuts the door.

"It is not just a pen. My real dad got it for me at the New York Aquarium when I was a kid. I can't lose it." Percy's hands are shaking.

"Okay," says Jason. Clearly, this pen is special to him. Jason's dad wasn't present in his childhood either, so he sort of gets where Percy's coming from. He's lucky to have had something so important to him. "Frank, help me pull out the bookshelves. Everyone else, look under the table and on the windowsills. Oh, the whiteboard!"

The pen is not on the whiteboard tray.

Frank pulls out a bookshelf and frowns. Then, he pushes the shelf back in.

"Ouch!" Leo shouts, hitting his head on the table. "It's not under here!"

"Why don't you guys check your backpacks? Someone might have picked it up by accident," Jason suggests.

"Okay!" Leo dumps his backpack out on the table, and there's a lot to go through.

"Leo, why do you have so many Kool-Aid Jammers in here?" Piper asks.

"Why is there glitter?" Hazel asks.

Frank asks, "Why is there a photo of Annabeth?"

"Screw that," says Annabeth. "Why the hell is there a calendar with my name on it?"

Leo starts to talk. "Oh, uh-"

"Wait, I'm on it too," says Piper. "Why are these dates circled?"

"Hazel," Annabeth says. "You're circled for today and yesterday. What were you doing today that you were also doing yesterday, and probably will be doing tomorrow?"

"Oh my. Oh my." Hazel starts to fan herself.

Annabeth crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at Leo. "That answers that."

"What the heck?" Piper asks.

Leo offers her a bar of chocolate.

"Oh, thanks! Wait, no! Leo, you sicko!"

"I have no pen!" Leo says. "Who's next?"

"I didn't take it," says Hazel.

"Neither did I," says Piper. "But sure, search my backpack."

Jason assumes his seat at the head of the table, and also the role of the group's TSA agent. He empties Piper's backpack in front of him and pokes around. He shouldn't feel weirder going through a girl's things than he did with Leo's, but he does. After all, Leo doesn't keep tampons in his backpack, and he hasn't caught Jason's fascination for a little over a year.

"You have a lot of notices from the mailroom," Annabeth notes.

"I could help you carry your package to your room if it's too heavy," Jason offers.

Piper squirms, which is weird for her. She's usually so confident. "My uh, I mean, I don't have the pen!"

Jason sighs. "Next."

Frank dumps out his backpack next. There isn't much to go through, and he does have a pen!

"We did it!" says Jason.

"I'm so sorry about that, Percy!" says Frank.

"That's not my pen," says Percy. "My pen says 'riptide' on the side. That's a Lisa Frank pen."

Hazel takes the pen from Frank. "That's mine, actually." She unzips her pencil pouch as well as the many zippers on her backpack when Jason realizes that this is ridiculous! Hazel would never hurt a fly.

"For real, people?" Jason asks. "At this rate, the pen thief probably knows who he or she is. Can this person just come forward and apologize and give Percy's pen back? I'm sure you didn't realize it was that special."

Nobody comes forward, so Jason starts a countdown. "Three."

Nothing yet.

"Two."

Percy wrings his hands.

"One-"

"Hold up," says Annabeth. "You're the one leading this entire investigation, Jason."

"Somebody has to," Jason replies.

"And that's exactly what the pen thief would say."

"Dump his bag!" shouts Leo.

This is a pen.

This. Is. A. Pen.

But you know what? Everyone else wants to play 'bottle episode?' Jason's in.

He leaps to his feet and locks the door to the study room, taking only a second to consider how weird it is for a study room to have locks. He closes the blinds on the windows, again, noting that it's kind of weird for a study room to have this much privacy.

"We are going to find that pen," says Jason.

Everyone stares at him in awe, like they aren't getting the point.

"We are going to find. That. Pen!" For emphasis, he tears up the tacky carpeting beneath him.

"Jason, what is this?" Piper cries.

"This is another reminder that the cornhole tournament begins at four!" says Mr. Brunner over the intercom.

"This is a lockdown!" Jason pulls out his cell phone and dials the Ultimate Frisbee captain, Lee Fletcher. "Yeah, Lee, I can't make it today. I'm doing a bottle episode."

He hangs up more aggressively than what should be possible on a touchscreen.

"Well? What are you all standing around for? Dump your bags."

Annabeth goes next. Jason's surprised she didn't go first, considering how much of an open book she is.

But everyone has secrets.

"Who is this guy?" Percy asks. Is that... jealousy in his voice?

"Nobody," says Annabeth.

Jason can't help but peek at the picture from Annabeth's backpack that fluttered to the floor. He was really worried because, at first glance, it sort of looked like Annabeth carries around a picture of him, which is flattering, but mostly creepy. It's not him though. It's a much older guy, probably at least five years older than them, but he looks even older because of a huge scar on his face.

"Care to share?" asks Piper.

"I don't know what that's doing there," Annabeth speaks in such a way that says case closed, don't ever mention it again.

That's fine by Jason.

Oh, and no pen.

"C'mon," says Frank. "You're not really going to make Hazel dump out her backpack."

"Everyone's doing it," says Jason.

Hazel presses a hand to Frank's bicep. "It's okay," she says before dumping out her backpack for Jason to see. There are lots of pens, but none of them are Percy's.

"Next," says Jason.

"That's you," says Leo.

Jason shows everyone the contents of his backpack.

"Hey, you got rid of the brick," says Leo. "Congrats."

And because Jason pulled it together over the summer and got organized, there is no pen of Percy's in his backpack. He doesn't even write in pen.

"Next."

"That's everyone," says Percy.

"Oh, no you don't!" says Piper.

"Yeah," says Annabeth. "I bet you're afraid that you had the pen all along and you're gonna be embarrassed when we find it."

"Why would I try to hide that from you?"

"Then show us the bag, Seaweed Brain!"

Percy huffs and empties his bag on the table in front of Jason.

"Why is there a picture of me in your bag?" Annabeth asks. "Oh my god. You got that from my Instagram!"

"Leo has a picture of you," Percy says.

Jason helps himself to some of Percy's gummy sharks. This is one good bottle episode.

"Leo probably has pictures of all of us. I'm asking you why you're carrying around a picture of me."

"Why are you carrying around a picture of some creepy-looking guy?"

"That's none of your business!" Annabeth balls her hands into fists.

"So it's none of your business why I have this picture in my bag!" Percy shouts.

"Yes, it is, because it's me!"

Jason doesn't want to take sides, but he's also admittedly invested in whatever this drama is between Annabeth and Percy.

"You're impossible!"

"You're insufferable!"

"Another reminder," says Mr. Brunner, "the cornhole tournament will begin in five minutes. Space is limited."

Hazel squeaks. "Jason, do something!"

"ALRIGHT!" Jason knocks a bookshelf over and starts tossing reference books about. He's going to find that pen and watch Piper win the cornhole tournament if it's the last thing he does.

"Jason, what are you doing, man?" Percy asks.

Leo covers his ears. "Stop it! Stop it right now!"

"It's just a pen!" Percy shouts. "This is a pen!"

Jason stands back up. "Oh, so now it's just a pen?"

"Jason, I-"

But Percy can't finish that thought because Jason's hands are wrapped around his neck, turning his face an unnatural shade of purple.

"Jason, stop!" Annabeth shouts. "You're hurting him!" She grabs Jason's buff arms, trying to pry him off of Percy.

"Calm down! Woah, easy big guy," Piper says, holding out her hands like the main character taming a wild horse. "It's alright. You're alright. We're in the study room."

"The study room..." Jason repeats. He looks around. Hazel still won't take her hands away from her eyes. Percy's hugging Annabeth like she's a Costco Squishmallow. His mask is lowered to his chin, and he's struggling to catch his breath. Oh, that's probably Jason's fault for almost strangling the guy.

"Sorry guys..." Jason trails off. He wipes the fog off of his glasses.

"Wow, an amazing winning shot from Clarisse La Rue!" says Mr. Brunner. "Congratulations to Team Five on winning the Annual New Rome Community College Cornhole Tournament! What do you have to say to the people out there, Clarisse?"

"So those losers Wise Girl and Beauty Queen were too scared to show up? Figures. Kiss my ass, bitches!"

Piper falls to her knees. "We missed it!"

Annabeth buries her face in Percy's chest. Between ugly sobs, Jason can hear her say, "I'll never be able to show my face again!"

Piper joins the group hug. "I can't believe it. All this for a pen."

"I'm sorry," says Percy. "My dad was a deadbeat anyway. Maybe this is a sign that I need to stop idolizing him."

"You probably shouldn't have idolized some guy that left you and your mom in the first place," Leo says.

"Gee, thanks, Leo."

"You're welcome."

Jason stands up. "Percy, I'm sorry about your pen and all, but I'm mostly sorry for trying to strangle you..."

Percy shrugs, still not letting go of Annabeth. "S'okay. Bros fight sometimes."

Piper leaves the hug and folds her arms. "I'm pissed off."

Annabeth sobs in agreement.

Jason lets out another apology. "Pipes, Annabeth, I'm really-"

"Uh-uh. Don't you 'Pipes' me!" Piper stands up on a chair and unzips her hoodie.

That's a first for the study group.

"What are you-"

"You kept us here for Percy's pen? We're going to find it."

"Piper, you don't have to take your clothes off..." Not that Jason minds Piper's lavender sports bra.

"Yeah, yeah," says Annabeth. Finally, someone else with common sense. "If we're conducting a strip search, we're going to have to separate by gender at the very least." Jason takes back that statement about common sense.

"We are not conducting a strip search!" says Frank.

"Where else would it be?" Piper asks.

Jason smacks his palm against his forehead. "I sincerely doubt that anybody here stuck Percy's pen where the sun doesn't shine!"

Percy raises a good point. "And if someone did, I don't want my pen back. Really, I'm over it. I kind of just want to go home and forget about this." He packs his backpack up and leaves.

Annabeth's quick to follow. "See you guys on Monday. Good job on the project."

Frank and Hazel are next. They leave without any words, which is worse than if they just got mad.

Leo stuffs some papers into the trash and then gathers up his things. "Don't worry about them," he says. "I was watching a bottle episode like this from another sitcom. Everything will be fine."

Jason sticks his hands in his pockets. "What happened in the show?"

"Well, the group decided that they do trust each other. It's more likely that something impossible happened than that someone betrayed the group."

"Huh. Do you think that's the case for us?"

"I trust everyone in this group. Do you?" Leo discards his empty Doritos bag and leaves.

"So?" Piper asks. "Do you trust us?"

That should be a no-brainer. Jason can see himself doing those team-bonding activities with his friends. He doesn't trust everyone to catch him though, mostly because Hazel probably can't hold his weight, and Leo would find it funny if he fell.

But does he really think someone took Percy's pen?

"Yeah, Piper," Jason says. After all, his friends aren't backstabbers. "Do you still want to check out that new Jamba Juice?"

Piper wiggles her eyebrows. "I could go for a smoothie. Just promise me one thing?"

"Okay?"

"If Clarisse is there, we better get the hell out. I'm not down for one of her famous swirlies, especially if it's going to be in the Jamba Juice bathroom."

Jason chuckles and puts his arm around Piper. He turns the lights out in the study room, not caring that the room is completely trashed.

These things will just fix themselves by Monday.

They always do.

✎✎✎

In the Mars co-ed fraternity house, Clarisse La Rue is pouring a travel-sized bottle of vodka into her Jamba Juice takeout.

She throws a dart onto the photo of Annabeth Chase taped to the dartboard in her bedroom.

Annabeth wouldn't back down from a challenge. Clarisse would know.

She's sat next to Annabeth outside the principal's office at their high school several times, both sent there for biting off more than they could chew, or for not backing down from a challenge.

"I'll put you in your place one of these days."

The dart lands right between Annabeth's eyes. A perfect throw.