Inspired by Community S2E6: "Aerodynamics of Gender"

Leo POV

"I can see the dean from here!" Leo shouts. Well, he can't really see Dean D, but his brand-spankin' new remote-control drone can!

"Let me see!"

Leo holds his phone out for Percy to see the first-person footage from the drone.

"So cool, man."

"Thanks. I made it myself!"

Someone behind Leo and Percy clears his throat. "Valdez! Jackson! Just what do you cupcakes think you're doing?"

Leo freezes. He's terrible in these situations, especially when it comes to reading social cues. Something tells him that Coach Hedge might be kind of upset with him.

"Coach!" says Percy. "Leo has to turn in his midterm project for engineering later this afternoon. We were just testing out his homemade drone."

"You two aren't going to earn your racket sports credit by flying robots around my multi-purpose courts!" Hedge shouts.

He stomps off to yell at some other students about their poor badminton form.

"I can't believe we have to take a gym credit!" Leo complains.

"I know; it's so high school," says Percy. He passes Leo a pickleball racket and steps onto the court. "C'mon, let's at least pretend we're interested in this."

"Okay, just let me bring in the Valdezinator."

Percy whistles a tune and bounces the ball against his racket while Leo recalls his invention with the remote control. He was up all night putting some finishing touches on his project, which he really didn't need to do, but hey, when Leo gets an idea, it has to become a reality.

So that's why it isn't much of a surprise when the reverse mechanism on the drone malfunctions. Ugh, Leo knew he should have gone through with a nineteenth testing sequence!

Faster than any projectile he's ever seen, the drone flies forward as if thrown by a slingshot.

"Oh no!"

"What is it, Leo?"

"My drone!"

The drone sails over the basketball nets, distracting a couple of girls that Leo thinks are pretty just long enough for Annabeth Chase to shoot a basket from half-court.

"Leo, hit the off switch!"

Leo pulls the battery pack out of the remote control.

"Was there no button or switch?" Percy asks.

"I had to take it out to put the confetti canon in."

"Damn, you're going to have to show me that function."

Hedge stomps back over to Leo and Percy.

"Go get the drone," Percy says. "I'll take care of Hedge."

So Leo embarks on his journey, through the basketball courts, beneath the volleyball nets, and over to the hedge where the drone landed.

It sure is deep in there.

He falls to his hands and knees, crawling through the branches. He may hate how the hedge tickles his skin, but he can't risk his A in engineering. That's his best class and probably his most important one too. It's a requirement for his major.

"Gotcha!" The drone seems relatively unscathed. That's a good thing.

A few leaves and spots of dirt fall from Leo's project when he blows on it. Of course, it'll need to be disinfected now that it's been introduced to the elements. Leo has Clorox wipes in his backpack, fortunately for him and his drone.

"Ugh, stupid bushes..." he mutters to himself—time to retreat.

He's stuck.

Leo tugs a little harder, but it's no use. There's a twig caught in his toolbelt. That's got to be it!

One more tug...

One more tug, and he's bound to break his only good belt! What will he do then? Just constantly be pulling his pants up, or be the guy with his ass crack hanging out all day?

No, thanks. Leo keeps moving forward, more leaves getting stuck in his unruly hair. He's due for a haircut. He's been due for a haircut for some time, but the only barber he'll see died the other week. How inconvenient!

The mulch grinds into his hands as he crawls, sure to leave marks that'll bug the heck out of him later, but for the sake of his precious belt and the dignity that accompanies it, he keeps crawling.

Finally! There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Well, maybe it's just the sun unobscured by the hedge. Nevertheless, Leo Valdez has emerged victorious with his drone!

Now, just where is Leo Valdez?

That's a really good question.

"Why's it so bright here?" he wonders aloud. There's a temptation to shield his eyes from the glistening dew and the bright-colored flowers, but for some reason, he pushes through, taking in the sights and sounds of his new environment. Under normal circumstances, Leo might feel overwhelmed. He might run away or cover his ears or eyes, but he can't seem to take his eyes off the spectacle in front of him.

Leo Valdez isn't a religious guy by any means, but he's pretty sure he's looking at the Garden of Eden.

He's also looking at a bouncy castle, standing tall and proud against the ever-so-slight wind that tickles the garden. The bright primary colors mesmerize Leo beyond what he ever thought possible.

He's only been in a bouncy castle once or twice in his life. They're always so rowdy. Leo can't stand rowdiness that isn't him, so he made a habit of avoiding bouncy castles at what little birthday parties he was invited to as a child.

Leo isn't one to fall for traps. He knows what could happen if he takes candy from a stranger or accepts a ride home from school. You don't need parents or a decent babysitter to tell you those things. Nah, Leo had this cop with a big handlebar mustache tell him that at a school assembly one time in elementary school.

Therefore, he does what anybody who might have received that life lesson would.

He takes off his boots but not his socks.

The firm inflatable seems strong enough to withstand the weight of one scrawny college sophomore. It's plenty clean like it was just brought out of a package.

The castle is strong and sturdy beneath Leo's foot, so strong that what was just going to be a test of durability is now turning out to be an entire science experiment.

A second foot... Yes! That's it!

Unlike the air mattress Leo slept on for about a year during middle school, the bouncy castle's floor doesn't completely cave in when he tests it with his entire weight. In fact, it only sways a little beneath him, just enough that if he wanted to, he could bounce.

He starts slow, as one should do when he crosses new territory. He's only a few inches off the ground.

An effortless smile paints Leo's face as he continues to feel the wind in his hair. The soft whirring of the fan sustaining the castle's air doesn't even bother him. Nothing could ruin the absolute bliss that Leo feels right now.

Before the castle, Leo's life was black and white. Answers were right or wrong. He lived in a world where he had to choose between an off button and a confetti cannon. Now, he can have both! His world is bright and colorful, and nobody had to be smashed by a house for him to enjoy it!

Yes, Leo Valdez has found a whole new zest for life, and it's quite peaceful at that!

"Leo?"

Tiny people in the clouds are calling to him, begging him to come higher!

"Uh, Leo?"

The tiny people in the clouds sound a lot like Leo's friend Percy.

"Leo!"

Leo slides down the entrance of the castle, cool ground hitting his feet upon impact.

"Hello, Percy."

Still red in the face, Percy speaks. "I saw you go into the bushes. Did you find the drone?"

Leo nods and points towards the empty birdbath where he stashed his most prized possession. Then again, what are possessions? They are just material things we won't have when we meet a world beyond our own...

Percy still hasn't taken his hands off his knees, and he's panting sort of fast. He must be tired!

"There," says Leo. "There's some fruit on that tree."

"How is fruit supposed to help right now?" Percy asks.

"I've come to believe that this garden holds some sort of supernatural power," Leo explains.

"Because there's a bouncy castle?"

"Among other things."

Percy gets on his tiptoes to reach into the tree. The lowest hanging orange is perhaps just a little bit overripe, but not so much that the insects have gotten to it yet. It's the most delectable thing Leo's ever laid eyes on, yet he doesn't feel the impulse to take it from Percy the way he does with food from the dining hall.

"You boys ought to leave the fruit be," says a voice. A veiled woman emerges from thin air to warn Leo and Percy about the fruit. "There are only two rules for those who find this garden. First, you must never tell another soul of its existence. Also, do not eat the fruit and then jump in my bouncy castle. You'll have horrible diarrhea and stink up the place."

Percy takes his hand away from the orange, leaving it to the insects.

"You may use this place to your heart's content, but you must follow these sacred rules," the woman says.

"All this for a bouncy castle?" Percy asks. "Aren't these for kids?"

"Those who have never bounced do not understand its appeal."

"It's true Percy," says Leo. "I've never felt more zen in my entire life. When I was up there, it was... it was like-"

"Like a comfy sweater on a rainy day?" the woman supplies.

Leo nods his head.

"Like a trip to Valhalla?"

"More like Elysium!" Leo gushes.

Percy knits his eyebrows. "May I?" He points to the castle.

The veiled woman nods.

Percy kicks off his shoes without even bothering to untie them. He ascends the tunnel into the castle.

Leo and the veiled woman watch as he tests the security of the sanction, just as Leo did moments before, but soon, perhaps even faster than Leo, Percy picks up speed and begins to bounce higher. A look of childlike innocence is on his face, growing with each jump.

"What's your name, anyway?" Leo asks the woman.

He's pretty sure he can make out a faint smile beneath her veil when she answers, "Proserpina. I am the groundskeeper of this garden."

"Leo, come join me!" Percy shouts.

He slows his bounces so Leo can come back into the castle without difficulties.

"Ready?" he asks.

Leo gives him a thumbs-up, and together, they find their happy place.

✎✎✎

"Well, man, it's been real, but I should probably grab some lunch before my biology class," says Percy. "Care to join me?"

Leo slides out of the bouncy castle and checks the time on his phone. "Wasn't your biology class an hour ago?"

He becomes pale. "What?"

"It's 2:00."

"No. We were only bouncing for like fifteen minutes!"

"Time works differently in the bouncy castle," Proserpina explains.

"Dude, I skipped biology," Percy says. "Oh my god, I skipped biology and I kind of don't care." His mouth hangs open in awe.

That's nice and all, but Leo has to turn in his midterm project for engineering in a few minutes. "Do you want to eat lunch together anyway?" he asks Percy. "If I don't eat before giving my presentation, I'll probably pass out and get a bad grade."

"Okay," Percy says. "Lunch sounds good."

Leo gathers his drone, making sure all of the parts are in place, and then leaves his place of peace, but surely not for long.

Over the next several weeks, the garden becomes a sanction to Leo and Percy. Before their first class begins in the morning, between classes, and in the evenings, they occupy the bouncy castle, the last remaining pure place in this cruel world.

Leo feels more chill than he has ever felt in his entire life.

Percy and Leo waltz into the study room together for the first time in a while. They've been skipping study sessions, entirely at the fault of the bouncy castle. Soon, Leo and Percy realized that they have no excuses to miss. No lie could get them out of study sessions. It's too big a risk; someone might find out about the secret bouncy castle.

"Hey, everybody," Percy says. He takes a seat in his chair and rests his feet on top of the table.

Jason laughs. "Bro, are those... are those Crocs?"

"Uh, yeah," Percy says. "They're only the most versatile shoes on the planet."

"How do they feel?" Leo asks.

"Like I'm wearing tiny little clouds on my feet."

Annabeth rolls her eyes at the blue Crocs. "Well, it's nice to finally see you again, Percy and Leo."

"Nice to see you too!" says Leo.

"Where have you been going?" Hazel asks. "We've missed you."

"Leo and I are just taking some time to work on our... mental health," says Percy.

Leo sits up in his seat. "Yeah! We're going on those wellness walks and stuff."

"Funny, I haven't seen you on your wellness walks," says Annabeth.

"Oh, maybe that's 'cause you're too uptight," says Percy. For some reason, he tries to rub Annabeth's shoulders. That's weird.

"I am not uptight," she says.

"You kind of are," Jason says.

"Am not."

Percy picks at a shark jibbit on his Croc. "You really are. You should try to be more like Leo over here."

"You guys are acting weird," Piper says. "Annabeth's the same."

"Yeah!" says Annabeth.

"I didn't say you weren't uptight."

"Screw you."

Piper continues. "Seriously, are you guys doing weed or something?"

"C'mon, Leo," says Percy. "They don't understand us." He removes his legs from the desk and stands up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

Leo hops to his feet and stuffs his papers into his bag, not bothering to keep them from getting wrinkled. He speeds to catch up with Percy in the busy library hallway.

"Care to join me for a quick bounce before class?" Percy asks.

Leo agrees. "Just make sure to set an alarm this time so you don't skip again."

✎✎✎

The only time that Leo doesn't feel completely zen is during his least favorite class: racket sports taught by none other than Coach Hedge.

It's just that Leo isn't very coordinated. Sure, he put together a drone out of some scraps he found around his dorm room because he was too nervous to ask his professor for some spare parts, but when there's a tennis ball flying towards his head at seventy or maybe even eighty miles an hour, that's a whole different story.

Leo can see that the ball is coming straight toward his face, so he ducks out of the way. Hey, he knows some physics!

"Valdez, what in the sam hill do you think you're doing?" Coach Hedge shouts.

"It was going to hit me," he answers.

Hedge crosses his arms. "So hit it back over the net!"

"But Coach, at that speed and angle, the ball couldn't actually-"

"Are you talking back to me, boy?"

"No, Coach!" shouts Percy. "He's just, uh, having trouble understanding the rules. I'll explain it to him."

"You better." Coach Hedge slings his tennis racket over his shoulder and hobbles over to his phone, no doubt changing the music for the seventh time.

"I don't like that guy," says Leo.

Percy nods. "He's an asshole, but he's harmless. I'm sure he wouldn't actually fail you."

Leo wants to object and say that Hedge is not harmless because he doesn't wear his mask above his nose and could be spreading a lot of germs that way, but instead he just opts for, "I wish we could go bounce."

"How many excused absences do we have in this class?" Percy asks.

"Four, but you're not thinking of cutting class, are you?"

"I totally am." Percy pulls his purple 'NEW ROME COMMUNITY COLLEGE' sweatshirt over his uniform gym t-shirt.

Leo follows suit, taking off his sweatband and stowing it away in his backpack. Then, he follows Percy through the parking lot and towards the hedges that lead toward their secret bouncy castle.

"Wait," says Percy before crawling through the hedges. He looks left, then right, then left again. "Okay, the coast is clear. After you."

Leo gets on his hands and knees and begins to crawl, not even caring about the twigs and leaves and mulch and dirt poking at him because everything's going to be okay once he emerges from the other side.

And it is. It's perfect. Leo and Percy bounce and bounce until their chests hurt from laughing so hard.

They sit across from each other, backs against the mesh lining of the bouncy castle.

"What do you think it would be like to touch a cloud?" Percy asks, taking a sip from his blue Kool-Aid Jammer.

"I don't think it would feel like much of anything," says Leo. "I think it would be cool to tell everyone we touched a cloud though."

"Yeah..." says Percy.

"I wish we could stay here forever," says Leo.

Percy leans forward. "How come?"

"Everything's too loud in the real world, and nothing makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to learn how to play tennis to get a degree in mechanical engineering."

"Yeah, that's kind of stupid," Percy agrees. "But wouldn't you miss all our friends?"

"I guess... I wish we could bring them here," He says.

"We could talk to Proserpina."

"Nah, I don't want to risk it." Leo leans back against the mesh. "What time is it? I don't want you to miss biology again."

"We still have time," Percy says.

"Well, well, well," says a new voice. "What have we here?"

Leo gasps. "How did he find us?"

"You two cut my class for a bounce house?"

"It's a bouncy castle..." Leo mutters.

Hedge picks an orange from the tree.

Leo screams and claws at the mesh wall.

"No! Hedge, don't eat the fruit!" Percy yells. "That's not how we do things here!"

Hedge continues to bellow as he climbs into the castle, but Leo can't see or hear anything since he's curled up in a ball.

His worst nightmare just attacked his daydream, and he'll never get to bounce again if Proserpina finds out that he couldn't keep the bouncy castle a secret.

But he can feel the bouncy castle shifting to conform to Coach Hedge's weight.

"Leo, we have to get out of here!" Percy yells. "We're over capacity!"

"Percy..." Leo can't move. He's overstimulated. This happens sometimes. Instead of having a normal fight-or-flight reaction, Leo freezes.

"Leo, I'm going to touch you now if that's okay."

Leo nods, giving Percy permission to drag him out of the bouncy castle before Hedge can stink it up anymore. The fruit is already affecting him. It's a good thing Percy didn't eat that orange on the first day.

"Here," Percy offers Leo a Kool-Aid Jammer once they find safety at the other end of the garden. Leo takes a sip and watches as Hedge is overcome by the joy of the bouncy castle.

"Whee!" he shouts in a hoarse voice.

Then, something crazy happens. Then again, a lot of crazy things happen to Leo.

But none are as tragic as this.

There's a loud BOOM! The castle slowly but surely deflates.

"Where's Proserpina?" Percy asks.

"Agh!" Hedge shouts as his body hits not the squishy bouncy castle, but the hard ground. Instead of bouncing back into the air, he lays limp on the ground, the deflated bouncy castle slowly covering his body.

"We have to do something or else he'll suffocate!" says Leo.

Percy follows him and together, the guys uncover Hedge.

Their gym coach gasps for air.

"Coach, are you okay?" Percy asks.

"You two..."

Leo braces himself for the shouting. Oh, how he hates Hedge's shouting!

"You two may have cut my class, but since you saved my life, you'll pass."

"Thank you," says Percy. He nudges Leo.

"Yeah, thank you very much," Leo says.

He and Percy walk away from the scene, mostly because they can't bear the smell of the fruit's effect on Hedge.

It's sad though. Now, what will Leo and Percy do together?

"You saved him," Percy says. "That was quick thinking, man."

"You saved me first," says Leo.

"We still have some time to kill before I have to go to biology," he says. "Do you want to grab lunch or something?"

Leo smirks. "Think you could follow through on that promise to teach me tennis?"

✎✎✎

It's a bittersweet day. Leo holds in his hands a reminder of all the good times he had in the bouncy castle: the drone that took him to the secret garden. How does a community college get an on-campus secret garden that actually stays a secret?

He's not sure how to react when they haul the castle away. He's sad, sure, but he's thankful for the opportunity to get to know Percy one-on-one, and now he knows for a fact that he won't fail gym.

"I'd like to go back there someday," he says to Percy.

"We could maybe like, get my mattress from my dorm room and bounce on that if you want," Percy says.

"Nah," Leo says. "Mattresses make better sleds in the wintertime."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Leo squints as a dark figure emerges from the remains of the garden. "Proserpina?"

"Yes, it's me. I should have known better than to let you two in on the secret of the bouncy castle." And then Proserpina walks off, seemingly disappearing into a cloud of fog that wasn't there a minute ago.

"How does she do that?" Leo asks.

Percy shrugs. "Shoot, it's Hedge."

"It's okay," says Leo. He's not afraid of Hedge. He literally saw the man get attacked by a bouncy castle. Also, Hedge is in a wheelchair since he broke both legs. There's no way he'll lay a hand on Leo or Percy or any of their racket sports classmates now.

"Secret bouncy castle isn't so secret now, huh, cupcakes?" Hedge sneers and then pops a painkiller.

"Hello, Coach," Leo greets. "Are you feeling better?"

"Shut up, you."

"Here," Leo says. "I want you to have this. I replaced the confetti canon with a grabber. It'll help you reach things that are too high while you're using the wheelchair. I know you don't like to ask for help." He gives his drone to Hedge.

"This is your project," Hedge says. "I can't take this from you."

Leo shrugs. "I already earned an A. Besides, I can just make another."

Hedge pushes a button on the remote, and the drone begins to fly. "You have a talent, kid."

"Thank you."

Hedge pops another pill and steers the drone after a terrified dog.

"Cupcake..." he says. "Big cupcake with green frosting..."

Percy grips the handles on Hedge's wheelchair. "Okay, that's enough painkillers for you. See you in racket sports, Leo?"

"Assuming it isn't canceled."