Based on Community S1E4: "Social Psychology"

Jason POV

"Hey, wait up!" Jason calls. He falls in line next to Annabeth, out of breath, but not daring to lower his mask. She can be a little bit uptight about COVID-19 safety, and it's not Jason's place to judge. It's important that everyone feels safe and respected in these—ugh, he's going to say it—unprecedented times.

"You know Hazel's right there. You could walk to class with her," Annabeth points out.

She's right. He could have just waited for Hazel to get her rolling backpack over the curb. It would have saved him a lot of breath.

But here's the thing: Jason has nothing in common with Hazel. She's a horse girl, for crying out loud! Don't get him wrong; he doesn't dislike her. She seems like a very sweet girl with an exceptionally positive disposition.

And it's that positive disposition that Jason just can't stand this early in the morning, so he doesn't want to risk being mean to her.

He starts to explain himself. "You're right-"

"Of course." Annabeth cracks her neck.

He ignores that. "I just don't know what Hazel and I are supposed to talk about. She's so upbeat and... and..."

"And?" Annabeth asks.

"Who's that?" Jason asks, referring to the woman with her arm around Piper.

Annabeth shrugs. "I dunno. Some hippie girl Piper's been talking to. I heard she makes earrings out of vending machine toys."

Jason bites his lip. "What do you mean, 'talking to?'"

"I don't gossip all that much. How would I know? Maybe they're dating, maybe they're just hooking up. Have you thought about asking?"

"No!" Jason shouts. "I mean, that's her business whether or not she wants to date a hippie, right?"

"Right," Annabeth says, although she doesn't sound convinced. "Anyway, I'm helping out with an experiment for my psychology class. Would you want to volunteer to be a test subject? I'm supposed to tell you that there'll be free subs."

She has her arm around Piper now. Geez, she looks so weird in her tie-dye t-shirt and her mismatched earrings. One of them is a baby from a king cake and the other is an alien. It probably glows in the dark. Is that a scrunchie on her wrist? Ugh, and she's using a Hydroflask.

She probably uses metal straws too. Whoop-dee-doo.

"Jason?" Annabeth asks.

"I'm good," he says. "But thanks anyway."

Annabeth glances toward Piper and the girl and then back at Jason. "Alright. I'll just ask the rest of the group."

✎✎✎

Jason sits down in his seat at the head of the study table in a huff. He can't believe it. Piper is dating that weird hippie girl! He just knows it. He saw them together at the Starbucks after Latin. She probably doesn't even let Piper use her dining dollars.

I'd share my dining dollars with Piper, Jason thinks to himself as he taps his pencil against his notebook.

"Ow!" Jason shouts.

"Nope, it can't read minds!" Leo declares. He shows off the suction cup, which he had apparently stuck to Jason's forehead. Guess being an experimental guinea pig is just one of the many perks of being friends with Leo Valdez. That's going to leave a mark later.

"What is that thing?" Percy asks.

Jason had been so zoned out that he hadn't even noticed when Percy sat down.

"My latest invention! My audio amplification device! Or maybe I'll call it an eavesdropping machine. I'm not so sure yet," Leo says.

"So like, a hearing aid?" Percy asks.

"No, not like a hearing aid!"

Annabeth sits down at the table and passes a sheet of notebook paper to Leo. "How about joining a psychology experiment?"

"I like experiments. Is something going to explode?" Leo asks as he scribbles his name down despite not receiving an answer.

"Frank?" Annabeth asks. "You'll join, right?"

Frank sticks his hands in his pocket. He's still wearing that hockey sweatshirt from his high school. Jason wonders if he's going to play hockey for New Rome.

"I'm not so sure..."

Percy takes the sheet of paper and writes his name down with a blue crayon. "I'll do it! Free subs, right?"

"Thanks," says Annabeth through gritted teeth. What is it with her and Percy? He's a nice enough guy. He's just a little into her, that's all.

Hazel passes the sign-up sheet along without writing her name down. "I have a lot of homework this weekend. Sorry, Annabeth."

"I guess if Percy's doing it..." Frank stares at the list of names in contemplation. "I'll go I guess."

Annabeth smiles. "Thank you so much, Frank!"

"Geez, and I just get a halfhearted 'thanks?'" Percy asks.

Jason opens his Latin textbook and flips to the right page. Ugh, more verb forms.

They agreed to a silent session for today. The first person who talks has to buy Starbucks for the entire study group. It's difficult, but the last time they tried it, they had the most productive study session to date. Everyone finished the reading with minimal confusion. Plus, he got a free strawberry acai refresher when Annabeth yelled at Percy for 'excessively clicking his pen.' Jason hated the drink but pretended to love it, as it was a recommendation from Piper.

Shoot. Will he be expected to drink another one today? He doesn't think he can choke down another one, and he already forgot how to pronounce 'acai'.

Jason sighs, probably a little louder than what's acceptable for a silent study session, but the others let it slide. Who thought putting six ADHD college students and Frank in a room and forcing them to keep quiet was a good idea?

Oh right. He did. This was his idea.

He needs to get his glasses adjusted; they keep falling down his face.

Focus, he thinks.

Geez, they've been sitting here for ten minutes and all Jason has in his notebook is a heading that says THE IMPERATIVE CASE in orange colored pencil. He glances over at Percy's notebook. Percy can't have gotten much done, can he?

Evidently, he can, although everything's spelled wrong, and he's writing with a broken blue crayon. Jason's pretty sure he saw Percy pick that crayon up off the floor underneath a foosball table, now that he thinks about it.

Now he has to think about Latin. Latin. Ah yes, the dead language. Jason saw a kid buying a Coke from the soda machine who looked pretty dead inside earlier today. Jason could really go for a soda right now. Hmm, but not Coca-Cola. Dr. Pepper... cream soda... Orange Crush?

Yeah, Orange Crush would be great right now.

Jason draws a little orange slice in the righthand corner of his notebook. Yeah, Orange Crush—what a great soda.

Speaking of crushes, Piper's looking great today. She keeps her style of dress simple. Come to think of it, he hasn't ever seen her in anything other than leggings. Is she wearing solid black leggings today, or is she wearing the purple tie-dye pair? Jason likes those leggings. He wants to know, but it would be pretty weird to look under the table to check.

Piper lowers her pink face mask below her chin and takes a sip from her pink studded reusable Starbucks cup, not that Jason's taking note of how soft her lips look or wondering what flavor of candy her chapstick tastes like. That would be weird.

Jason smiles underneath his blue surgical mask, thinking of the other day when her Jolly Rancher chapstick fell onto the floor in the hallway. He'd picked it up for her, trying to be chivalrous, but in the process, some guy on crutches squashed his fingers. It hurt, but Piper thought it was funny, so he laughed along and handed her the chapstick instead of putting some ice on his hand.

It's fine. The feeling in his fingers has almost returned. He just won't be pointing or flipping anybody off for a while.

Jason closes his Latin textbook. There's no point in working on reading something he won't get anything out of. He can just wake up early and study before class tomorrow. "I have to get going to my next class," he announces.

"Can I walk with you?" Hazel asks.

Everyone looks at Jason expectantly. He can't say no. He wouldn't say no even if everyone wasn't looking at him like this. "Sure," he says.

Hazel pulls the handle up on her backpack and follows Jason out.

"So," says Jason, not being able to handle the silence. He's been dreading having to carry on a conversation with Hazel, but what's worse is the silence of not at least trying to make some small talk. "What do you think Annabeth's psychology experiment is?"

Hazel takes in a sharp breath, a little squeak escaping her. She's like a mouse. "I... oh, this is horrible..."

"What is it?" Jason asks.

Hazel doesn't make eye contact. "I don't want to be mean... ugh, but Annabeth and Percy!"

"I know, right?" Jason says. "They either need to take it out back and fight or have sex already!"

"Oh my goodness, you get it!" says Hazel. "Like, I know about Percy forming the group just to get close to her. Can he at least ask her out so she can reject him and we can just get this all over with?"

Jason laughs. "He'll never ask her out! He doesn't have the balls!"

Hazel offers a shy laugh as well.

Maybe Jason and Hazel do have some things to talk about.

"Have you seen Piper's new girlfriend?" Hazel asks.

"Are they dating?"

"Oh, yeah. Shel—that's her name, Shel—wrote her a song."

Jason hoists Hazel's backpack off the curb to keep it from hitting her in the shins. "A song?"

"Yeah! Shel's in an indie band!"

"I like Dave Matthews," Jason notes. "How about you?"

But Hazel isn't done gossiping. "And she plays hackie sack! Can you believe how ridiculous that is? I heard a rumor she doesn't believe in shoes!"

Jason loses it at that one. "Are you for real? What could be so great about this Shel girl, anyway?"

Hazel shrugs. "I don't know. Oh, shoot. Look!"

And there they are. How indecent, honestly!

Piper and Shel are sitting on a park bench practically eating each other's faces off!

Jason knows it's just kissing, but there's this feeling deep in his gut, like the one he gets when he eats the ice cream from the dining hall, only Lactaid won't help this.

Maybe this is why British people call it 'snogging.' Snogging sounds so much grosser than kissing.

Yeah, Piper and Shel are snogging on that park bench. Jason's pretty sure he ate his lunch there the other day.

Hazel isn't doing much better than Jason. She's fanning herself like she's from the forties or something.

The girlfriends part and Piper's eyes widen when she notices Hazel and Jason. She climbs off of Shel's lap and scampers to greet her friends.

"Hey, guys," she says awkwardly.

Hazel still fans herself.

"Oh, shoot," Piper pulls her mask up over her face. "Sorry."

"Oh, you're fine," says Hazel. Her voice is about two octaves higher than usual.

Piper scratches her neck. "Sorry, I probably should have told you guys that I'm dating Shel-"

"Why didn't you?" Jason asks, a little bit too enthusiastically.

"Well, if I'm being completely honest, I thought you guys might make fun of her."

Oh, make fun of Shel, like Jason and Hazel were just doing.

"Nah," says Jason. "We would never..."

Hazel snorts. "Where'd your shoes go?"

Piper looks down at her bare feet. "Oh, guess I left my sandals behind. Catch you guys later?"

"Sure," says Jason.

Piper runs back towards Shel.

Hazel grabs her backpack and tugs it back up the curb. "My class is that way."

"I guess this is where we part," says Jason.

Hazel offers a smile. "Thanks for walking with me. It was nice getting to know you better."

"Yeah." It was nice talking to Hazel. The only problem is that Hazel and Jason just bonded over a mutual distaste toward Piper's new girlfriend. That probably isn't cool of them.

Jason's going to need to think of some different conversation topics for next time.

✎✎✎

"Jason, wait!" Hazel runs towards Jason, wheeling her stupid backpack behind her.

No, be nice to her. It's sweet that she wants to walk with you, Jason scolds himself.

"Hey, Hazel, what's up?" He takes her backpack from her and rolls it down the hall. He noticed that she gets frustrated when it gets caught on the library carpet.

"You have to see what I found!" Hazel scampers into the study room—still very much like a mouse—and pulls up a video on her laptop. "Great, we're the first ones here!"

Jason follows, unsure of what's about to happen.

She logs onto the computer and opens... YouTube? Oh, shoot. Is Hazel about to show Jason a horse video? He appreciates how much they've bonded this week, but he can't take this. He doesn't want to watch horses jump over things.

"Check this out." She clicks on a link and then crosses her arms. She stares up at Jason expectantly, excitedly awaiting his reaction to the video she's so proud to share.

It's not of horses at all.

It's of Piper's girlfriend, Shel, and her indie band.

Hazel snorts. "Just wait. It gets funnier."

They shouldn't be making fun of Shel. Jason promised Piper, and for some reason, he really wants Piper to like him.

But Hazel is so excited to have something in common with Jason, and dammit if he isn't excited to finally share a common ground with Hazel!

Oh, but this is so wrong. It's wrong to make fun of people, even if they're weird hippies who date girls that you kind of like.

Jason starts to internally chant a phrase he read on a poster in one of his middle school classrooms: Be a buddy, not a bully.

Be a buddy, not a bully.

Be a buddy, not a bully.

Be a buddy, not a-

"Oh, Piper!" Shel sings on screen. "You're so hot like a viper, yeah!"

Jason puts his hand back in his pocket. You know, the hand he was going to use to grab the mouse and put an end to the video screening.

"Is that a rainstick?" he asks.

"Spoiler alert: there's also a didgeridoo," says Hazel.

"Holy crap is she for real? I can't believe this."

"This is so stupid, but I can't look away," Hazel says. True to her word, she isn't looking away.

Jason has to wipe his glasses against his t-shirt. They're all fogged up from his laughter. "This has 'peaked in high school' energy."

The door bursts open. "Busted!" Leo shouts.

"Leo!" shouts Hazel. "We were-"

"Don't even try to cover it! I heard you with my audio amplification device!" He waves his strange invention in the air. "Y'all are in big trouble!"

"Leo, don't!" says Hazel. "It's my fault! Don't be mad at Jason!"

Leo holds his invention up high so Hazel can't reach it, even though he isn't much taller than her. "I know what I heard: you and Sparky here were making fun of the rest of us! Some friends you are!"

"Let me explain," says Jason calmly.

"Who's making fun of me?" Frank asks shyly.

"Yeah, man, are you picking on Frank?" Annabeth asks. "Not cool."

"We weren't making fun of anyone in the group. Just watch this video that Hazel found," Jason explains. He turns the computer to face the others and starts the clip from the beginning.

"I don't get it. Who is that?" Percy asks. He drops a gummy shark into his mouth.

"Wait," says Annabeth. "That's the girl you and I saw on the lawn earlier this week."

Jason can't take his friends' speculations any more. "Guys, she and Piper are dating!"

The group goes silent. This is mean. Jason shouldn't have caved into Hazel. Jason should've never tried to make closer friends with her. Jason should have explained that being a buddy is way more rewarding than being a bully.

Then one by one, his friends exchange a glance. He can't see beneath their masks, but Jason's pretty sure they're smiling.

Frank, surprisingly, is the first to laugh.

"Wait, is that a rainstick?" Percy asks.

"That's what I said!" says Jason.

Annabeth tosses her coffee cup into the trash and pumps her fist in the air. "Piper isn't going to hear the end of this when they break up."

"What am I not going to hear the end of?"

Shoot. There's Piper.

And holding her hand is her weirdo didgeridoo-playing hippie girlfriend, Shel.

And Jason's the one holding the laptop.

"Are you guys making fun of us?" Piper asks. The look on her face says it all: disbelief, embarrassment, and most of all, betrayal.

Jason sets the computer down as the video ends.

"This is so totally not peace and love," says Shel. Okay, so she is a hippie.

Stop it, Jason! That's enough bullying for one day, he scolds himself.

"Come on, Shel. Let's get out of here," says Piper.

✎✎✎

Piper's been acting like nothing even happened; she still comes to the study group sessions, but she's been giving everyone except probably Leo the cold shoulder. Jason hasn't really gotten to talk to her yet. Maybe she just wants to forget about the whole thing. Either that, or she'll never speak to him again. Did he really let Crutches Guy almost break his fingers for nothing?

Hazel's been avoiding Jason altogether. They'd just become friends, and now that's completely screwed up. He wishes he could fix things between them at least, even if he can't fix things between him and Piper.

He has a few minutes to spare, so he takes a seat on his favorite bench and lowers his mask. At least he can get some fresh air now that nobody wants to talk to him.

It's raining, and he forgot his umbrella at home. Of all the things that found their way into his backpack, his umbrella didn't. Jason didn't even bother to pack a sweatshirt this morning since the weatherman said it was supposed to be sunny all day. He supposes he should know better than to trust everything he sees on TV.

Splash!

"Oh, schist!" says a tiny voice.

Jason leaps off the bench and rushes to help Hazel up. She's all wet and muddy from the fall.

"You okay?" he asks. "I might have a bandaid."

Hazel nods. "I'm fine. My stupid bookbag got caught on the curb again. I think I lost a wheel..."

Jason reaches into the puddle and retrieves the missing wheel. There's no fixing that. "C'mon. Let's get inside."

He grabs Hazel's backpack as well as his own and leads her into the student union. The green-haired girl working at the info desk gives him a new mask when he explains that his paper one got wet in the rain. It's purple and has a profile of a gladiator on one side, and reads NEW ROME on the other.

"The new marketing director says I'm supposed to apologize for the old mascot being on it," she explains.

"You mean... we're not the New Rome Gladiators?" Jason asks.

She shrugs. "The mascot switch is part of some new diversity and inclusion campaign."

Jason wants to examine the mask closer for signs of... anti-diversity and anti-inclusion, but he can do that later. He puts the mask on and takes a seat in front of a television beside Hazel.

"I like this movie," she says. The television screen shows a really old black-and-white film. The actress seems to be having some sort of crisis.

"I've never seen it," Jason says. He spills the contents of his backpack on the coffee table and starts sorting his things.

Papers from high school can go in the trash. MythoMagic cards can go in his wallet; he'll put those in his collector's binder when he gets home.

"It's called Gaslight," Hazel explains. "It's about a woman whose husband tricks her into going insane."

"Spooky," says Jason. He throws away his trash and organizes his three-subject notebook and textbooks into a neat pile. "Here, give me your stuff."

"What?"

"You can use my backpack." He angles his bag towards Hazel, inviting her to fill it with her things.

"I... I can't take your bookbag!" she objects.

"Yes, you can," Jason says. "Consider it a free trial until you can replace yours. Try out having a wheelless backpack. You might like it."

"Oh, alright." Hazel unzips her drenched backpack and moves her things.

Jason takes her Squishmallow keychain, wrings out the water, and clips it onto his backpack. "There. Now it's home." He tightens the straps. "Try it on."

Hazel shrugs it on and adjusts the straps for herself. She looks a little goofy; Jason's bag is still too big for her tiny frame, and his dark navy bag is a stark contrast compared to her cute aesthetic of an oversized sweater and Mary Jane shoes.

"Thanks," she says softly. "I feel pretty rotten for avoiding you. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," says Jason. "I shouldn't care so much about who Piper's dating."

"You like her though."

He runs his hand through his hair. The rain washed away most of the gel and it feels... fluffy. "I don't... I mean..."

Hazel giggles. "Whatever, Jason." She tugs on the backpack straps and opens the door, ready to go back into the rain. "For what it's worth, I heard her tell Annabeth you remind her of a blond Superman."

Jason beams. A blond Superman. Maybe it's not as mysterious as a blond Batman or as fun as the Aquaman vibe Percy's going for, but he'll take it.

And maybe it's okay if his Lois Lane wants to date someone else. He'll still be her hero.

That starts with an apology. He pulls his iPhone from his pocket and finds Piper's contact. He mostly texts her in their study group chat. Once or twice he's texted her directly to ask for pictures of the textbook, which he never actually needs. They've never texted enough for him to have a contact photo for her or for him to even have her last name.

Here goes nothing. He writes out a bunch of different text messages, and erases every single one before hitting 'send'. Finally, he finds one that doesn't sound like a business proposal and hits send: Hey, I really screwed up this week. Can we talk?

He's surprised by how fast she replies.

Starbucks?

Jason's probably smiling like an idiot. I'll buy.

✎✎✎

Jason stands up and waves when he sees Piper enter the on-campus Starbucks. He already bought one of her favorite drinks: a Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino.

"Wow, you know what I like," she says, taking the drink. She slips the straw up her mask and takes a sip. "What did you get?"

Jason tilts his coffee cup so Piper can see. "I just got a black coffee."

She laughs. "Really? I know you messed up big time, but you don't have to torture yourself."

Jason takes a big gulp from his coffee, just for show.

"So I'm guessing this meet-up is about what happened the other day, right?" Piper asks.

"Yeah." Jason wipes his glasses on his t-shirt to clear away the fog. "I really shouldn't have said those things, and I shouldn't have dragged Hazel into it. It was just really hard seeing you with someone else."

"Wait, you're not homophobic?"

He's certainly taken aback by that. "What? No! I... I'd never judge you for that. I mean, you like who you like. I guess I was so mean because I kind of, uh, like you..." he trails off.

"Oh," she says.

"I really hope I didn't mess up your relationship with Shel."

Piper sets her drink down on the table. "Well, we did break up."

"I'm so sorry, Piper. Should I talk to her?" Jason asks.

"No, she said something about writing a breakup song. I don't think it has anything to do with you."

"That's good. Not good, I mean, but I would have felt really bad if I ruined your relationship," says Jason.

Piper sits back in her seat. "I guess this goes without saying, but we probably shouldn't get together."

"Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, you just got out of a relationship," he says.

"It might be best if nobody in the study group dates, actually. It was really awkward with you being jealous and stuff. I don't want that to happen again," she says.

Jason finishes his coffee. "Yeah, of course." It does make sense. He doesn't want anybody to feel like that again. Besides, they just got the group together. There's no telling if the group is going to be able to survive a breakup or not.

Besides, he's happy to be Piper's blond Superman for now. Maybe later they can revisit this whole thing.