S h i g a r a k i :

""Last week was a shit show""

We been knew sis.

Seriously, Shigaraki is now at a point in his life where he's starting to belive some crazy conspiracy theories: birds aren't real; Izuku Midoriya is All Mights secret love child; lizards run the world; and his favorite, Fridays are an illusion.

If Tomura could describe his life in these past few months he'd say it was the equivalent of watching a sewer rat perfectly perform the YMCA. If you're on heavy drugs, its fantastic but if you're sober? Call a psychiatrist.

Now that we've gotten that exceptionally weird metaphor out of the way, lets see what shit is going down at the bar tonight~

<☆>

Shigaraki watched gingerly as the four flea ridden teenagers made a mess of his bar in futile attempts to make cocktails. When he revealed himself as a villain he was expecting to see looks of terror rip across their faces as they cowered in fear next to his mighty form.

He was not expecting them to bully him into hiring them to work at the bar. The bar which should be a secret villian organization base for evil deeds, might he add. How could he refuse 4 kids when they start coming for his eye crust??

Which is what brings us to tonight. Kurogiri was teaching the little shits how to correctly pour alcohol while Tomura was sat with the heroes trying to converse with All for One in the least suspicious way possible. Spoiler alert, it was difficult.

Monoma kept snorting  everytime Izuku failed at making his drink look even slightly presentable. Shigaraki had no idea how sensei believed a pig had walked into the base but whatever works i guess.

"Kurogiri." All For One stated through his little screen as Shinsou dropped a glass on Monoma's foot. "Open up a warp from me to you."

Shigaraki choked on his whiskey; everyone immediately tensed up. "You're coming to visit, sensei." The hand man was silently snapping his fingers as a signal for Kurogiri to warp the heroes away.

"No, not today Tomura."

The Tomura in question audibly sagged in relief, the sound of wooden chair against wooden floor bouncing off the rooms walls. He waved off Kurogiri, the mist man nodded in return closing his portal and almost severing Kaminari's left leg.

"Ah, why the portal then?"

"It's a surprise, Tomura. Kurogiri make the warp relatively wide."

The bartender complied without question, the heroes looked on curiously trying to figure out what the massive surprise would be. An elephant maybe? Or a life size dead All Might doll. It was anyones guess really.

The purple vapour swirled around idly, that was until a massive blue hand came through. Followed by the body of a whole ass Nomu with chainsaws protruding from its body. A normal Friday Night huh?

"I do hope you like it Tomura." All For One spoke a biT tOo hAppiLy.

"Love it." Shigaraki winced. "I love it so much i have to go. Right now. Bye." The bluenette ran to end the call as fast as he could, warily side stepping the Nomu.

After he was sure his master was gone, he spun around to face a group of very unimpressed pro heroes. "Ok i know what you're thinking and no i didn't order this one."

"Seems a bit sus to me." Shinso snorted. "What is this thing anyway?"

"Dangerous is what it is." Aizawa warned sternly making Hitoshi back away with hands raised in surrender.

"Technically its not dangerous until i order it to be." Shigaraki started, walking over to the still Nomu. "Damn, this one is uglee."

"Can you make it do anything?" Deku asked, scribbling notes down in his little book he whipped out from thin air.

"Yuh. Nomu, do a little dance."

The chainsaw clad Nomu proceeded to do a little jig that was extraordinarily disturbing to watch. Picture Endeavour in a bikini, see not fun. Actually it depends, doesn't it–

"DAMN! Look at it move!" Kaminari laughed. "Make it do an Irish dance, ooh no make it do ballroom pLeAse."

"I think i want to bleach my eyes out now, thanks." Midnight laughed.

"Bleach is in the back, i use it daily." Kurogiri dutifully responded.

Shinso had now gained the confidence to closely inspect the Nomu despite his dad's protests. "Can i touch its eyeball? Its there, so why not."

"I'm sure theres a million reasons why you should not but wow. You're already touching it." Mic sighed. "At least tell us how it feels, yo!"

"Dry. Like Tomura's crusty lips or if i exhale too harshly it'll turn to dust."

"Huh, the more you know."

Everyone in the room was wrapped in a comfortable silence as the kids decided to swing off the nomu's gangly limbs making the adults pointedly ignore them to get drunk. Shigaraki soundlessly wondered if it would be cool to order the creature to throw Midoriya out the window but decided against it.

It was Kaminari to break the silence. "We should totally name this dude."

"Why though? Its only going to end up dead?" Monoma responded incredulously while simultaneously trying to feed it beer.

"Uhm." Shigaraki protested suddenly. "What makes you say tHat? You diseased fucking goblin."

Monoma made a raspy noise of offense. "Hah? Well obviously you're going to sick it on the hero course and then one of the teachers will murderlize it. Duh."

"As one of the teachers i can confirm if that ugly ass chainsaw bird comes anywhere near my students I'll hit it with my car before dissecting it in front of a live audience." Mic nodded as he took a swig of champagne, he was feeling fancy yo.

"I'd give it paper cuts."

"Plus." Shinso interjected. "This is the exact reason farmers don't name chickens, you get attached and then feel bad about snarfing it up on Christmas."

"Are you suggesting we eat the Nomu for Christmas!?" Kaminari gasped.

"Congratulations. You missed the entire point of my statement." The violette grumbled before making a swiftt attempt to consume his dads whiskey. He finished about half before being torn away from the glass. So close.

"Fucking Christ Hitoshi–" Aizawa coughed, he couldn't decide if he was proud or disappointed. "An alcoholic in the making are we?"

"If my life goes to plan then yes, i am."

Midoriya laughed sheepishly before getting the conversation back on track. "Well, if we were to name it then maybe it should be something that relates to the Nomu's personality?"

"So like, what's a dangerous force of nature that brings carnage?" Tomura finished with a quick snap of the fingers. "That'll be the name, suggestions?"

"Dragon."

"Villainous Victor!"

"Tornado or Tsunami or any natural disaster really, hehe."

"Kacchan."

The group of kids plus Shigaraki all went silent as they contemplated the name suggestions. Even the staff were unintentionally thinking about it.

"I like Kacchan, it really encapsulates what you were saying about it being an unstoppable force of nature, specifically for UA too." Monoma nodded.

"But we already have a Kacchan." Kaminari hummed, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe change it up a little."

"Kacchan the Second?"

"Kacchan 2.0!"

"Nomu!Kacchan?"

Once again silence wrapped around the room. "I think they all work but how about you shorten it to Katcchan." Kurogiri suggested.

"Ooh nice Kuro!"

"Its a good way to trick people too since it sounds so similar!"

"This thing better be wearing cat ears when it inevitably attacks us. I'm willing to forgive you if you dress it in cat ears." Kaminari said dead seriously.

"Deal."

Aizawa sighed, downing the last of his drink before abruptly standing up. "I think its time we go home." Kurogiri nodded opening a portal to the Yamada-Aizawa residence. "Are you shits staying the night?"

Monoma, Izuku and Kaminari smiled angelically. "Only if thats okay with you, Mr. Aizawa." There was a undertone of mischief in their voice that made the sleepy teacher grumble.

"Just go." With that the heroes had left the bar and all was peaceful again. Kayama shouted something about her staying over for the night as well but Tomura didn't care. He had a piercing headache and a bed to climb into.

After all, he should be meeting the new recruits any day now...

~

Halloween Bonus:
(After the overhaul raid)

Tomura stood before the 1-A dorms entrance clad in his old villain costume, hands and all. Though they were fake hands, he'd thrown the real ones away after some much needed counseling from Hound Dog.

Next to him was Izuku, Monoma, Shinso, Kaminari and Bakugo all repping their own versions of his costume. They looked like a group of six circus freaks that just escaped a physic ward. But trick or treating calls.

Despite his road to redemption, the UA staff had not yet decided to intergrate him back into the public eye as a changed man. Meaning everyone in Japan including class A only remember him as that one bitch who attacked them.

So why was he loitering around their dorms?

Well, Shinso and Monoma both had the bright idea to prank the class of hero hopefuls. An idea which Aizawa found too funny which led him to sneaking Tomura on campus. There was literally no world this would go well in but hEY hO–

Izuku's knuckles rapped loudly against the imposing door, instantly eliciting a response from the teens inside.

"Ooh, it might be Eri again!"

"Dibs on getting it!"

"Not if i make it first!"

"Mina you rAT!"

The door violently swung open, revealing a class of bedraggled teenagers all repping  unkempt Halloween costumes and fighting over the bowl of candy. Each student immediately freezed at the sight of Tomura Shigaraki and his 5 mini clones.

"Boo." The hand aesthetic man deadpanned just like they practiced.

The door was promptly shut with a resounding slam, screams and shouts of alarm echoing in to the night. Shigaraki had forgotten what it was like to be feared, it didn't feel as cool as it use to. But still, he couldn't help the grin that spresd across his face, matching those of his minions.

"WAS THAT SHIGARAKI?"

"HE TOTALLY CLONED HIMSELF, GET SENSEI!"

"WHERE'S DEKU? WHERE'S KAMINARI? WHERE'S BAKUGO?"

"THEY'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED, DAMMIT. THATS SO UNMANLY."

The miniraki's just gremlin laughed at the hubbub. "Quick let's bounce before someone figures us out." As the group hopped over the UA wall, past all the pumpkins and decorations, Shigaraki couldn't help but think.

This was the best Halloween he's ever had~

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