Ship: Hyunlix

Summary: One misunderstanding and the rainbow candies have turned sour in their fairyland.

College student! Lee Yongbok
College student! Hwang Hyunjin

Song: I miss you, I'm sorry - Gracie Abrams.

2070 words

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Felix strolled through the lonely park with no moon in sight. He couldn't help the silent streams of tears that escaped from his eyes. The flashback of the past evening haunted his dreams. Of how their argument had broken them. When did it turn out this way?

Felix had an okay start to the day. It would be the best one, if his boyfriend had kissed him goodbye. But alas, it didn't happen. Felix had stopped expecting it. It seemed like Hyunjin wasn't really present in the moment with him.

"I think he is cheating on you."
San-woo exclaimed, making Felix jerk up to frown at the hazel eyed boy.

The blond boy had finished up his classes at 1, and had gone to a restaurant with his best friend, San-woo. Seeing Felix having a sour mood, the taller boy urged him to spill his worries. This led to Felix pouring in the lack of disinterest that Hyunjin had shown towards him since the past week.

The way Hyunjin always dismissed his efforts of getting a few kisses or hugs. Felix felt like the other didn't even pay attention to him. There was an unknown wall in between. It was like how robots worked. They hardly spoke with each other. Never sharing their best and worst parts of the day was a new thing for Felix. That was hugely because he loved talking and listening to his partner. More like spending time with him.

"Never, my hyunnie could never. He loves me too much."
Felix retorted. He knew for all the world that Hyunjin could never break his heart. Nor could he.

"Well, then what explanation would like to give for his indifferent behaviour towards you? Or the fact th-"
San-woo pointed out. He wasn't trying to break their relationship, but this seemed like an option to his caffeinated brain.

"No means no. He will never do that."
Hyunjin sternly spoke, while drinking his caramel mocha.

"Uh-huh... Well then why do I spy with my eye someone who looks awfully similar to your boyfriend?"
San-woo whispered, eyes moving behind Felix.

Felix turned his neck at a speed which could cause it to crack. He couldn't believe his eyes. He saw Hyunjin right there, sitting infront of a beautiful lady who had red lipstick and red nails. The lady wore a pair of skimpy jeans and funky yellow crop top, while Hyunjin carried his black worn-out college bag on his lap.

Felix knew not to believe what he sees. He was well aware how it turns out in most cases. He trusted his Hyunjin. But these days, their relationship felt all types of wrong. It felt too heavy and rough. And his already distraught mind was jumping to conclusions.

Felix was unsure of the love they shared anymore. It seemed like Hyunjin had gone astray from their love. And it seemed like the words that were uttered by the other two reinforced the concepts from San-woo's mouth.

"Well, consider my offer if you want it."
The lady spoke while looking through her sunglasses.

"O-okay"
Hyunjin muttered nervously.

"Come by the club tonight, darling. I'll hook you up with someone."
The lady replied while putting in some bills for the waiter, before strutting out of the restaurant.

"I will. Bye"
Hyunjin gritted his teeth in exasperation.

But all Felix could see was Hyunjin's back. He couldn't see the tired and lost gleam on the other's face. To be frank, Felix wasn't one to eavesdrop but it so happened that the circumstances pushed him into this. Soon, San-woo patted his back and paid the bill to leave. He wanted his friend to be happy. But he had unknowingly created the fire in between them.

In the evening, Felix noticed Hyunjin getting ready to leave. Hyunjin had his favourite black and blue striped shirt and leather pants on. But Felix couldn't admire the sight in front of him fully. His mind had been spewing lies and theories which all revolved around Hyunjin. And he just couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't handle his own overcrowding brain.

"Hyunjin, can I ask you something?"
Felix asked his boyfriend who smiled graciously.

"Yes, love."
Hyunjin asked as he fixed his belt, looking at the mirror. Felix gulped harshly at the nickname, proceeding to stare at Hyunjin through the mirror.

"Do you still love me?"
Felix questioned with his unusually deep voice.

"Of course, silly. How can I not? Also why are you asking this?"
Hyunjin giggled making his eyes disappear into cresent moons.

"Where are you going tonight?"
Felix asked again with eyebrow creases.

"Outside, with my friends. But why the interrogation?"
Hyunjin asked suspicious of the said interrogation.

"You want to know?"
Felix asked in a mocking tone. Hyunjin answered curiously with a nod. He didn't think much of the twitching eyebrows of Felix.

"Because I'm tired. You are lying. I don't fully know, but I saw you at the café today. You told the pretty lady that you will go to the club and she answered that she'll 'hook' you up with someone!"
Felix shouted wildly to a shocked Hyunjin. He didn't want to, but the demon in his mind had corrupted him to think otherwise.

"Were you sneaking up on me?"
Hyunjin cross questioned the younger boy.

"That doesn't answer my question does it?"
Felix barked out, crossing his arms around his chest.

"Yes, it doesn't. Does it?"
Hyunjin smirked, knowing where this was all heading to.

"You are always so stressed out when with me. Does my presence cause that? I give up though. You can tell me if you don't want this relationship anymore. There's only much we can do. It's okay if you found someone better. You don't have to love someone behind my back. I'll leave by-"

Felix spoke, teary-eyed already. He loved the boy in front of him. He couldn't bare to stay away from him. The words felt foreign when it slipped out of his mouth.

"Will you fucking stop?"
Hyunjin interrupted with an undertone growl.

"I-"
Felix tried recovering only to be frozen by Hyunjin's firey sharp eyes that could cut like razors. He had done a small mistake.

"Yes, I was visiting the club. But not for getting it on with someone. I wanted to look for a loan giver. So that I could pay this month's rent. It's due and our budget is short. I'm afraid the landlord may give us a notice soon. He's not that fond of us either."

Hyunjin explained the main ordeal. He couldn't stand Felix berating their relationship any longer. It was his as much as it was Felix's. The mistrust had brought out the worst.

"Then, why didn't you tell me? I could have worked part-time jobs to support you."
Felix asked, already pale from all the information he had heard.

"Felix baby, you just had an ankle ligament tear last week. So I didn't want to burden you. I wanted you to rest."
Hyunjin explained with sorrow filled eyes. Felix couldn't help but mentally face palm at his own stupidity. He hadn't trusted his boyfriend and that to over something he saw so vaguely. But the damage was done. And it was no longer a small mistake. A big one.

"I'm sorry. I just need time."
He had let all his fears and insecurities free. Taking one last look at the love of his life, Felix ran off outside.

Hyunjin didn't follow the other. For once, he couldn't actually go after felix. He was just too tired. Hyunjin was no longer interested to go to the said club for money. He outright ignored the calls that flooded his phone. He decided to sleep the wary feeling in his bones. Hitting the bed, only one thought ran in his brain,

'Didn't Felix trust him?'

Felix couldn't help but remind himself of how he had hurted Hyunjin with his accusations. Felix's jaw clenched in anger and sadness, his eyes slightly drowsy with exhaustion. He wanted improve himself and fix the situation, but he needed to cool off before encountering his beloved boyfriend.

Felix had to try. Try to become the best version of himself. Try to right his wrongs. Try to gain the trust of the other. Try to make himself worthy of Hyunjin's loyalty. He couldn't believe himself for doubting his lovely boyfriend. The same Hyunjin he is so proud of. He felt crying hard. He was dumb to let it all out on Hyunjin like this.

Felix kicked open the door after his late-night walk. His eyes searched for the taller. And his eyes lighted up on finding Hyunjin laying on the cramped bed of 'their' cheap ass apartment. He tried warding off the guilt that accumulated like heaviness in his chest.

Slowly crawling up on the mattress, Felix snuggled beside Hyunjin who had dozed off into deep sleep. He found his way into the other's unruly spread arms to make himself comfortable and warm. The skin contact gave Felix the reassurance that his boyfriend didn't hate him. Not that the other ever could. But it felt fuzzy inside. Like he was loved. Like he was okay again.

"Hyunnie baby... I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me. I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I'm sorry for jumping into conclusions. I'm sorry for accussing you. I'm sorry for not loving you enough. I hope to change that for you. For us. Only if you like it. Otherwise..."

Felix whispered to a dead-in-sleep Hyunjin and pressed a kiss on his cheek. The freckled boy couldn't help but tear up again. He had to stop himself so as to not wake Hyunjin from his painful sobs.

"Don't continue further. I love you too. I shouldn't have hidden it either. I just wanted to get rid of the problem myself."
Hyunjin's gravelled voice hit Felix's sensitive ears. He perked up to see Hyunjin's beautiful relaxed eyes. The older boy had a small smile playing on his plump lips.

"I understand that baby. But aren't we together? Aren't we in a relationship where we promised each other to stay through the highs and lows of life? So we must face our problems together. If you had spoken to me earlier, you would know my parents send me money, which I have stored in."

Felix spoke with renewed energy. The young boy had twinkling eyes looking up straight into the other's. He wanted to clear the apparent confusion and also giving a solution. This was sure to give Hyunjin a more peaceful sleep.

"Oh!... I- I'm sorry as well. I should have. And I know I've been ignoring you. Unintentionally I swear. I'm sorry for that as well. I didn't think how you would feel."
Hyunjin mumbled feeling embrassed and shy. The realisation struck him a little too late.

"It's okay hyunnie! We all learn from mistakes. It's okay. I did too. But now, we move forward hand in hand, yeah?"
Felix chirped up, putting his head forward to fully lay right above Hyunjin's heart.

"Yeah!"
Hyunjin answered, lovingly stroking the other boy's fluffy blond hair.

Felix purred against Hyunjin's fleece hoodie as he felt more relaxed with each of his boyfriend's ministrations. Hyunjin chuckled deeply at what Felix was doing. Felix seemed to be in his whole own world as he blew raspberries on Hyunjin's upper arms. Soon the sounds dulled as the two coddled to dreamless sleep.

This was how it will be forever. It doesn't matter if they are in a broke down apartment or in a luxurious penthouse. All that mattered is how strong their love can comeback even from the depths of darkness. That they would correct their past mistakes for a better life together.

The tug of war between their hearts had been too taxing on their physical and mental health. Both of them were equally at fault for the state that was brought upon them. But with more transparency in their talks and open ways of loving each other, they would eventually come out of it victorious. All that was needed a sprinkle of understanding and love from both ends.