Fully written by: Gonewiththewind03

Ship: Sope

Summary: Relationships were too much, but Yoongi craved for love. It is nothing yet everything.

Orator! Jung Hoseok
Lecturer! Min Yoongi

Song: Advice - Taemin

2173 words

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"Excuse me, sir? Can you solve this problem? I had tried it before but couldn't get the right answer."

Yoongi was interrupted from his final semester paper correction time as a boy of 17 came in with a colourful notebook.

Being a maths lecturer, teaching the most difficult of the calculus problems for a bunch of teenagers wasn't a dream job for many. Especially not to someone named Min Yoongi. He did love to learn maths. Playing with numbers and variables was something he loved in childhood.

Except the catch was, being a teacher meant to be in the spotlight among students who would snicker and disturb his class. He was confident in his knowledge of mathematics, and also in the ability to deliver it smoothly. He was loved by his students for the way he taught them.

Yoongi looked into the student's book, and easily found the defect in their method. This was one of the reason he was looked up to in his department. He was quick and well equipped in the field of mathematics. With a slight bow and thank you, the student left the place with a happy smile. Yoongi was content seeing he was of help to the young boy.

Solving a maths problem which has been bugging you for hours gives you one of the best comforts in the world. Same applies to all problems in general. But unfortunately Yoongi seemed to be ignoring the said problem at hand. The problem that was waiting to be prodded soon.

The thought train was cut off by a loud ring from Yoongi's phone. Looking at the dialler brought an automatic gummy smile on his face. It was afterall someone he loved with all his heart.

"Hey!"
Hobi's cheerful voice came through, making Yoongi have million butterflies explode in his tummy.

"Hi! What are you doin'?"
Yoongi asked shyly.

"Uh, getting ready for the last conference of the day."
Hoseok replied. He had gone to Germany for a special session which required him to be in the lead.

"Oh... Good luck!"
Yoongi muttered excitedly.

"Thanks hyung. Bye"
Hoseok spoke with a slight dejected tone. But Yoongi couldn't place a finger onto why the other would be sad.

"Bye Hobi!"
Yoongi whispered before cutting off the phone. Soon, he got back to his work awaiting for Hoseok to return soon.

That night, Hoseok had booked a fight back to his home. A home that included Yoongi and himself. Catching the taxi at midnight was quite a task, but he successfully reached his dark home, which wasn't lit, given it was 1 at night. He fished for the keys in his bag, and unlocked the door. Getting in, he removed his shoes and dropped his small suitcase by the side.

"Yoonie...?"
Hoseok called out in the noiseless dark. Tiptoeing carefully inside, he saw the sleeping figure of his boyfriend on the couch. It seemed like Yoongi had stayed up watching some video on his phone.

"Oh...you are asleep."
Hoseok let out a disappointed sigh, as all he wanted to cuddle his boyfriend after the exhausting travel.

Finally, deciding on taking a short shower to freshen up, he made his way into the washroom. After stripping down, he let the warm water hit his sore muscles which made him relax to some extent. He spent about ten minutes just like that, before wrapping a bath robe. For the first time in forever, he decided on forgoing his nightly skin care routine. He was tired but at the same time not sleepy due to the time difference.

Figuring out that the goddess of sleep wasn't going to grace him any time soon, he came back to the living room area. He wanted Yoongi to wrap his strong arms around him, but the other was deep asleep after a tough day at college. It was understandable but he couldn't ignore the pang of hurt in his chest.

Hoseok opened the cabinets for the stored alcohol stash of theirs. It was Yoongi's choice and of course of higher concentration. The younger was never one to initiate a drink, that to of such alcohol. But he just needed a distraction from his sleepless night. Pouring it into a wine glass, Hoseok sipped the bitter drink, thinking to himself.

Him returning home early was supposed to be a suprise for Yoongi. But it seemed like it was a flop show. As he got time to dwindle down on the kitchen top, he got more disappointed and sad thinking of his relationship. It had become Yoongi and Hoseok. Never them together. He understood the lack of it came from Yoongi not being vocal of his feelings, but it hurt him. Even if he knew.

Hoseok was more of the energetic, enthusiastic person who sought validation in the form of words. He adjusted himself to fit each person's puzzle piece for better connection. But in all of that process, he was losing himself. The only person who made him a feel like himself was Min Yoongi. It reminded him of their younger days, when Hoseok had initiated their first date to the amusement park or when Yoongi showed him the swans at a lake or when they had first kissed.

Seeing and feeling Yoongi around him meant he was still the same Jung Hoseok the love-stricken fool, who still enjoyed his life on his own terms, who was still carefree of the future. His field of work required him to change. The responsibilities of being an adult was weighing him down. But Yoongi was present there. His comforting presence was all that mattered mostly. He was the only person Hoseok didn't have to change for.

And seeing that Yoongi felt a little too far out of his reach made him pout. The thing was Yoongi had always been like this, never one to make plans for grand outings or give out long confession letters. He was quietly there, like the blanket of warmth on snowing days. But for Hoseok, it seemed like everything had changed between them.

Just that Hoseok needed reassurance that he was still himself. That everything wasn't drastically changing. That his life's constant was still there. That min Yoongi was still there. Drunk on thoughts and alcohol, Hoseok had seemingly loosened up, uncaring of the time and place.

"La la la~"
Hoseok sang a little loud, waving his arms freely. He laughed to himself, as the alcohol seemed to be taking effect on his cerebellum. And that woke up the sleeping Yoongi.

"Huh? What's the-"
Yoongi muttered, his voice still heavy with sleep. He hadn't registered that Hoseok had returned from the conference though.

After sometime, he rubbed his eyes with his curled up fists and opened them to find Hoseok's suitcase nearly placed near the entrance. Turning around at the source of giggling, he found the brown haired boy in the kitchen with a bottle of alcohol.

"Hobi? What are you doing?"
Yoongi asked sternly, for two reasons. Hoseok was drinking, and that to after a long flight. He was grumpy as his sleep was incomplete.

"C'mere. Have a drink. You like that no?"
Hoseok stumbled a little as he went on to grab a drink. His words were jumbled as he struggled to gain footing.

"No, I'm not drinking right now."
Yoongi spoke, while rushing forward to stop Hoseok from walking any further.

"Why not? You don't like spending time with me."
Hoseok pouted as Yoongi held him down. The younger boy seemed too restless as the alcohol settled in his stomach.

"No because you aren't supposed to right now. You come home after two months, and start drinking?"
Yoongi questioned, as his firm grip was still around Hoseok's waist in a gentle yet authoritative manner.

"What do you want me to do Yoongi? I don't think I'm harming you, am I? Also why are you getting so worked up?"
Hoseok chuckled out as he flailed his arms trying to wriggle out of Yoongi's hands.

"Hobi are you out of your mind? You don't even like to drink!"
Yoongi seemed to get more agitated by the minute. He knew for a fact that Hoseok wasn't fond of alcoholic drinks. He had a low tolerance and he mostly preferred sprite cans over fancy wine.

"Well, guess I'm changing. And yes, I'm out of my mind. If you have so much of a problem, leave me."
Hoseok shouted, getting a little serious in his tone.

"Where did that come from Hobi?"
Yoongi asked with an eyebrow raised as he loosened his grip fully. Hoseok grabbed the chance to get further closer to his boyfriend.

"Oh wouldn't you love to know? We have issues Yoongi. Big ones. We don't love each other like lovers. We live like robots. Fucking machines. We are just too apart in distance and behaviour. I don't know why but I can't help this. This feeling that you aren't here with me like before. Or maybe you never were here."

Hoseok shouted with occasional sarcastic laughs in between. He has turned away from Yoongi with crossed arms.

"Where the fuck did you get that from?"
Yoongi was more angry than confused now. And so, he reached forward to grab the taller boy's biceps and pull him closer so as to face Yoongi. The pull was rather harsh and was sure to leave a tiny bruise by tomorrow if not. But the other simply laughed loudly.

"Hobi?"
Yoongi asked, with his tone unsure seeing Hoseok so maniacally chuckling.

"I'm sorry, where did I get that from?
...
You just let me go sometimes, Yoongi. And not in the best ways. Two months, and all the calls are made by me. You don't miss me. You don't make me feel like I'm your boyfriend, no no, to-be fiancé. I know it's not your problem to care, but I think we are falling out, Yoongi."

Hoseok screamed out with frustration dripping in his words. But by the time he reached the last of it, he only whispered lowly. Yoongi only let go of Hoseok's arm on the revelation.

"The void in between is too big for me to fill, Yoongi. And I'm scared. Scared to let you go. I don't wanna put this relationship into the bin. But I can't feel anything else anymore."
Hoseok muttered as he broke down onto Yoongi's shoulders.

Yoongi was too shocked to move from his place, as he stood like a rock. He heard the words that were uttered, yet didn't want to process it. But he knew how he was always to himself. How he would bury himself work or something that didn't require emotional work to say the least. How he avoided interactions that could possibly open more doors to his relationship. How he could have avoided this drunk confrontation of it were not for his inability to love Hoseok fully.

He wanted to give himself away but was too scared to take that step. But it had tipped off the jar for his boyfriend. Yoongi was now stuck, as he fully grasped what Hoseok intended to convey. And it hurt him physically how he had let the younger down. It was all wrong and he wanted so desperately disappear at the moment.

And of course, Hoseok was only human. He couldn't handle Yoongi acting like he didn't exist. He couldn't handle how Yoongi didn't try to accommodate in his space. But he had tried too long. If it were any other person they would have left Yoongi too soon. He also knew that if Hoseok wasn't drunk, he would never make these fair accusations. That he would never speak his mind out. That Hoseok would be suffering all alone without having Yoongi by his side in all forms.

Hoseok's small sniffles and the warm tears that pooled in the juncture of his neck made the blond boy snap out of the daze. He didn't know what to say or do, so he opted to just keep his hands to his side. It was better to be cautious of Hoseok's reaction to the physical touch than actually get him more uncomfortable.

"Hobi, I-I..."
Yoongi started out, only to be cut off by Hoseok's next words. The intoxicated boy had moved from his safespace, aka Yoongi's neck to look at his boyfriend in his eyes.

"Don't worry, Yoongi. Guess love can't exist forever."
Hoseok enunciated the letters which knocked out the air from Yoongi's lungs. The stare from Hoseok's burning red eyes and the furrowed brows showed that he was serious in his decision.

"No. No you aren't leaving. We aren't breaking up."
Yoongi whispered with an ugly voice crack at the end. He had started tearing up as well. But there was no much time to dwell, as Hoseok had started slipping off his feet onto the ground.