Fully written by Gonewiththewind03 /Aria

This oneshot is yet again a form of expressing my fear. If any of my readers from 'love forgotten' - the last breath are here, you know what it is. And for others as a heads up, it's about thantophobia.

Ship: Platonic OT7

Summary: Yoongi has never felt so overwhelmed with the thought of dying, but the members are there to hold him.

Idol! Min Yoongi
Idols! OT6

(Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook)

Song: Stay Alive - Jungkook

3042 words

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The cheers of the thousand people faded into the background as 'Young Forever' was sung in chorus. The boys bowed down in gratitude for all the people who supported them. Supported them through all the hard times of their life as a whole. As Bangtan Sonyedeon.

As the lights stayed on, they came down from the stage. Afterall performing on the stage for three whole hours was exhausting. All of them removed their respective dazzled shirt jacket to get into their clothes of choice.

The buzzing noise in the background continued in high fervour. The staff moved around to finish wrapping the show. Security scrambled along with the boys to get them to their hotel safely.

Seated comfortably in two cars, the boys relaxed. Jungkook had already gotten a headache, given the strong scents, the screams and his own body's sweat hadn't yet been washed off. Namjoon and Hoseok looked through their phones for the perfect selca to post on twitter. While the 95 liners and Jin talked about their plans on going home- it was the last day of their concert show- Yoongi looked through the window trying to bask in the silence.

Upon reaching the hotel, all of the boys got to their rooms. Freshening up, they met at Jin's room to eat their dinners. With all the energy invested and exhausted in the concert, they were bound to be hungry. Knowing well enough that their international fans were waiting for a vlive, Namjoon set up the camera.

Vlives were fun since it always made them happy to talk with their fans. Interacting with funny phrases, memorable experiences and more, the boys ate their food despite the tiredness. Except one.

Min Yoongi.

After the concert had ended there was the unnerving feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something that stopped him from eating any food. Or doing anything for that matter. It made him anxious and nerve-wrecked.

And all of the other boys saw the rapper being jittery. Taehyung read the 'marry me Suga!' comment in hopes of making the older laugh. Namjoon subtly passed the water bottle thinking that would make a difference. Jin put all of Yoongi's favourite foods on a plate. Jimin and Hobi tried to cover the uncomfortable silence with laughs while the youngest placed his hand on Yoongi's thighs. None of it worked for the dark haired boy.

Yoongi's foot tapped on the ground impatiently and Jungkook's hand helped him stay grounded. Yoongi looked around at the members who took secret glances at him to make sure he was okay. It was normal for Yoongi to be on the quieter side, but today it felt different for him to stay this way.

Biting his pink lips, the dark haired boy smiled at them. And it did bring relief to the younger boys. While the three older ones noticed the fake aura it held, but they continued the vlive with no more Interruptions. They tried their best to cover up for the oldest rapper.

As they took the final selca and ended the vlive, they sighed collectively. Though Jin wanted to confront the younger for his behaviour earlier, Hoseok stopped him. He knew the rapper wanted some alone time. The latter was good at reading expressions.

"I'mma just...go sleep. Yeah, g'night."
Yoongi spoke loudly getting up from his place.

His plate still untouched. It was unhealthy for him to starve himself, but one night won't do no harm. Putting off Yoongi's behaviour as to being exhausted after the concert, the other boys just bid him goodnight.

Upon reaching his hotel room, Yoongi slid down the door with exaggerated breaths. Thoughts swirled in his mind. Apparently some which were triggering. Enough to cause a panic attack.

Seeing those thousands of people in the stadium, Yoongi was overwhelmed. Not because he had stage fright or anxiety. No, he was pretty confident about his showcase of skills. The same rapping skills that made millions swoon over him. The same rapping skills that could kill his fans with love.

No, it wasn't that. But it was like this shocking epiphany he had. A realisation. A de-personalisation reaction he had. Among the 8 billion people in the world, he was just one single speck. In the entire universe he didn't even matter. He was just a kid who dreamt of rapping his soul out. Nothing huge. And somehow fate made him skyrocket into fame.

Then slowly, he realised his daily schedule, eat sleep and work. It was a never-ending loop which just continued. It was monotonous except when they had shows. But it still didn't make the pain in his heart any better. What was he livin' for? He wasn't some person who accomplished lot. Maybe all of his fans thought so but in reality many others had it even worse.

Then he also struck chord with the fact that he was bound to die one day. Maybe of ill health or old age. That meant his life was short. Of it were so short where each day is lives with the fear of death then what was his purpose on Earth? It didn't matter if he was musician or rapper. He pondered for an answer. The answer to his question as a human, Min Yoongi. Not Suga. Not AgustD. Not BTS.

Humans were fragile, frail and petty. Why even survive if you had only such little time. Life had no meaning as at that moment, Yoongi forgot the passion he held. He had forgotten his dream. Not the dream which the world made him believe. But the one he envisioned.

With increased, fast-paced breaths, he looked at himself in the reflection of the window. If he died or as humans are bound to die, that would mean his body won't last. His hands, legs and eyes won't ever be functioning. He was just a mere mortal. Someone who could die any day. And that meant all what he held were futile.

That would mean he couldn't sing, or rap or live or breathe. All of those previous memories gone into the ground filled with mud and dirt. No one to remember him. No one to ever acknowledge his presence on Earth. He would be long gone with no impact.

That meant all of his family, his friends, his doggo, his members would all be dead one day as well. They will just perish. Without a care. How will he ever survive if all the people he loved would die one day? What about all the hard work he put in? Would it not matter at all? Why did he have to learn the skills if he were to just go away one day?

His breaths only got laboured and strained. With the silence of the night, the thoughts that invaded were scarier than usual. An existential crisis. Not as a joke but one that could give himself a panic attack. It would have been funny if not for Yoongi's detached look in his cat-like eyes. The same ones which gleamed with joy and adoration. But now, they were empty and lost except for the tears that flowed without a stop.

Yoongi tried clamming his hands on the floor. But the grounding didn't work as well as how Jungkook's hands felt. He tried to calm himself down. But it was frightening to think that he would die one day, maybe even alone!

Namjoon wasn't convinced of Yoongi being alright. He knew his best friend. He knew the lies, fake smiles, zoning out and everything that screamed that the older wasn't okay. It wasn't that simple tired look but rather like he was fighting thoughts.

And so he trudged to Yoongi's room with quiet steps only to find it locked. Slowly knocking it, Namjoon hoped the shorter wouldn't be angry on him for disturbing him. He heard the faint clicking of locks. Pushing it open, he found Yoongi in a fetal position sobbing.

"Hyung!"

Alarmed by the sight, he quickly texted his Jin Hyung. He would have dialled the older, if not for Yoongi being like this. He knew one thing. Min Yoongi hated loud sounds at night. Especially when he was emotionally exhausted.

Namjoon crept near the boy to check for any physical injuries. He didn't know the exact state of Yoongi's mental health. If he was angry, he might as well have punched the wall and broke a few things. But seeing the room in perfect condition Namjoon was relieved for it wasn't anger.

Tentatively with great hesitation -fearing that Yoongi didn't want to be touched right now,- Namjoon finally held the other's hands. Within a few minutes, all the other five boys had appeared by the door frame.

"Yoongi-chi"
Jin should have trusted his gut feelings. Something was wrong with his dongsaeng. The pale skinned boy's cries filled the room. Shivering with the wrecked thoughts in his head, Yoongi curled even further all while holding Joon's hands.

"Yoonie hyung. What's wrong?"
Jimin asked with a soft tone not before sitting down beside the older to brush Yoongi's hair off his forehead.

"I- I...don't know."
Yoongi felt stupid. For he was crying senselessly. Showing his vulnerable self for everyone to laugh upon. Letting his guard down to be that depressed emo boy.

But it wasn't true. No one laughed. They were worried seeing the fierce min Yoongi sobbing on the ground while clutching onto Namjoon's hands. The thought of himself dying scared him. Scarred him to the extent of fearing death.

It was stupid that now he thought about it. Death is just there. It's like a switch off button in a game. Except he was scared of pushing the button too soon. Or that he was forced to do so. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to lose on life. But at the same time, he wanted to give up. If life was the vicious cycle that he had experienced then if wasn't worth it. Confusing? It was. But it made total sense in his mind.

"Yoongi! Baby, look at me."
Jin slowly tried to take the situation in his hands. Normally, the younger would refute the use of the nickname, but he was too clouded by the thoughts to even go against his hyung.

"What's wrong? Hmm... You are okay. We are right here. See Jungkook is also here. The same boy who doesn't come from his room when I call him for dinner."
Jin asked in the softest tone all while trying to pace the rapper's breath.

Following his hyung's sweet tunes, Jimin's small hands in his hair, Namjoon's hands in his, Yoongi could calm himself better. It was as if they had this air, this oxygen that could revive him. That made him open up the lungs to greedily fill it. A fresh lease of life was guaranteed if they were by his side. They were like the miraculous potions which could bring people back from death.

Ironic isn't it? He is afraid of death and there's these six boys who would fight death for him.

"Everything's okay. I'm right here."

Jin tried reassuring the other. And with that all the other boys hummed in response. The black haired boy had relatively sobered down from his crying fit. The sobs had turned to sniffles with the mix of embarrassment and reassurance.

"I'm just scared. Scared of dying. I don't ever wanna go away. I want to be with all of you. Scared of being forgotten."
Yoongi uttered with downcast eyes as he tried sitting up right. Until someone pulled him down for him to lay his head on their lap.

That someone being Kim Taehyung.

Yoongi hadn't even noticed Taehyung at the back. But his lap was more comfortable than the hard floor for sure.

"Hyung! You aren't going anywhere. We aren't leaving you. Ever. No matter what, in any situation we are meant to be together a group."
Jimin yelled because the idea of them not bring together scared him.

"About death...hyung we all die. But we can make the best out of what we have. It may seem futile to just go through with it on the daily, but remember there's more to life. Don't be dejected over the idea of being a human."

Taehyung spoke wisely. The tinge of comfort in his words made Yoongi calm the racing thoughts in his head.

"Hyung, death may seem scary. But, when it actually does happen, you will be content with what happened in your life and all of the other things won't matter. We're all temporary, but that doesn't make us any less important. You are afraid of losing us. But, don't be. We'll always be here for you."

Namjoon spoke squeezing the older's hand in response. But he was right, Yoongi mustn't live in fear for a single day that it set in the far far away future. It is foolish to let go of today's joys under the pretext of the anxiousness of what tomorrow brings.

"And if we did die, I'll find you in every other life. I'll find each one of you just because I believe we were meant to meet. And make history together. I don't believe in fate, destiny or soulmates. But I believe in us. And if our love is even half as powerful described in movies, then we are bound to be us."

Jungkook strongly spoke with exaggerated hand movements. And of course, Yoongi giggled at the youngest. No matter what the older thought, Kook was cute and correct.

"Never think you are less. People get inspired by your lyrics daily. We get inspired by your hard working nature.
And if a time ever comes, that no one in the world remembers you, we'll always be there to show you how great you are for us."

Jimin smiled widely trying to convey the genuineness in his mumbled words. And Yoongi did adore the truth in the words of his bandmates.

"And being human, is enough sometimes, you don't have to be great every day. For everyone is allowed to have bad days. The memories we make is enough for a lifetime."

Jungkook showed his bunny teeth trying his best not to cry. It was a known fact that seeing any of his hyungs did make him cry. But it wasn't due to being not enough but that they had gone through so much together. He was still a sensitive adorable baby.

"One day when we'll all lose the fame we've built, when we can no longer perform, the world would have changed. But not us. We'll still be Bangtan Sonyedeon. Not as the boy band. But the best of friends. A soulmate connection we hold will forever be cherished."

Hoseok spoke and appeared in front of the older with a glass of water. Maybe Yoongi had overwhelmed himself with what he was as a human. But it quite didn't matter until everyone he loves is with him.

"Yoonie hyung, now you understand how we'll never leave you. And that death isn't as scary as you think. Plus you are still 29. There's so many years to go."

Taehyung ushered as he tried making the older understand that death and coping with the entry of grim reaper isn't as bad and fearful as we imagine it to be.

"Atleast you aren't like the old and wise Jin Hyung."
Jungkook giggled looking at the oldest who hadn't spoken a word ever since.

"You brat!"
Jin childishly frowned at the the youngest. Obviously it was a joke.

"See they'll never change even when we grow old. Jungkook will still tease hyung."
Hoseok doubled in laughter.

"Death is just an ending chapter. How we end the book will always depend on us. The writer of this plot is you. So fill it with love, kindness and affection. Not with fear, anger and sadness. The epilogue will wait."

Jin spoke after thinking so long. He understood why Yoongi was so anxious. So scared, so afraid of what his future brings.

Every livin' being has to leave from here, but it is sad to think that all that hard work you put in leading a life will just be forgotten. Will be just disappeared in thin air.

"Yoongi hyung, if you want to keep those memories that you are afraid of losing so much, we can take pictures and photos. To remind you that we'll be forever young."
Jungkook suggested as he came near to wipe the tears which stained the porcelain face of Yoongi's.

"Thank you"
Yoongi whispered with a sniffle. His eyes still had a red tinge.

"Mention not. But I need a cuddle fest now!"
Taehyung grinned widely, which in turn made the older boy crack a smile.

And soon the boys fit themselves in the big double bed available in Yoongi's room. Still it fell short for grown seven men. Limbs tightly wound in order to give the rapper all the love through physical affection.

"Yoongi hyung whenever you feel lost and confused because you doubt the reality of your existence, please come to one of us. We'll reassure you enough that the world isn't as bad as it seems."

Namjoon uttered before falling into the dreamland with his members. Yoongi was grateful that his worries were wiped by the beautiful words and actions by the most wonderful humans on earth. They were the main highlights of the story of his life. And no matter what, this will remain.

Death is expensive.
Death is scary.
The thoughts of facing it can make you numb. Frozen with anxiety.
But, the truth is, life is precious.

Ava- Kinda got emotional, ngl!