Heyyy what's uppp it's mee-

So I'm unbelievably back in the building again I think, which is kinda bonkers. I literally sold all my bnha merch LAST YEAR like are u kidding.

It's been so long and I'm fuckin old as shit now u know??? I drive a car, have a tattoo and I'm getting a whole ass degree as we speak😟

Probably why I'm back here again, feeling all nostalgic and what not, finding myself funny. It's been 5 years but I'm still the same loser i always was.

How about you lot, been a good half a decade or nah?

___________________________

Also Known As:
• Quirkless Gang Quirkless Gang
• Group Suicide in 20 Minutes
• Enji Todoroki doesn't need a Quirk
• Toshinori Yagi experiences the threat of generational shame
• Walks: Nobody's Hero
• There's no place like home 👠👠

___________________________

~~A wild name guide~~

• Oboro Shirakumo - Loud Cloud
• Nemuri Kayama - Midnight
• Tensei Iida - Ingenium
• Mirai Sasaki - Sir Nighteye
• Tsunagu Hakamata - Best Jeanist
• Shota Aizawa - Eraserhead
• Emi Fukukado - Ms Joke
• Anakuro Hirooki - Thirteen
• Ryuko Tatsuma - Ryukyu
• Tashiro Toyomitsu - FatGum
• Hizashi Yamada - Present mic
• Yagi Toshinori - All might
• Enji Todoroki - Endeavour
• Rumi Usagiyama - Miruko
• Keigo Takami - Hawks
• Yu Takeyama - Mt Lady
• Kan Sekijiro - Vlad King
• Tomoko Shiretoko - Ragdoll
• Kazumi Tsuchinoko - Uwabami
• Shinya Kamihara - Edgeshot

___________________________

Wednesday 17th November 2100
Cuck Chat
[06 : 54]

Yu Takeyama:
SOMETHING IS HORRIFICALLY WRONG

Oboro Shirakumo:
Bro ur telling me

Keigo Takami:
gang my quirk is gone which is like massively inconvenient or whatever

Nemuri Kayama:
Pack it up Walks, Toshinori is over here vomiting from stress and I can't even knock him out. Without my quirk I just stripped for no reason and that's so embarrassing.

Anakuro Hirooki:
yikes girl, i'd just kill myself at that point

Nemuri Kayama:
Good plan!!!!!!!!!!

Kan Sekijiro:
Oh so it's not just me who has no quirk? Brilliant. I love shared suffering the most out of every other kind of suffering

Tomoko Shiretoko:
Literally like hours in to having no quirks and there's a group suicide being planned

Toshinori Yagi:
Pin my note to the fridge with the little sunshine magnet pls

Tensei Iida:
can we share it. I need something cute to soften the blow of my family shame

Toshinori Yagi:
generational shame.......

Enji Todoroki:
You fucking set him off crying again dipshit

Rumi Usagiyami:
this man Toshinori had no quirk through middle school and now he's acting like it's the end of the world.

Keigo Takami:
uhhh, actually his quirk was hair colour change so 🤓☝

Enji Todoroki:
MY ASS. THIS MANS HAIR NEVER CHANGED

Tsunagu Hakamata:
When you find a style that works it works babe, you gotta stick with that for life.

Enji Todoroki:
You wind ur fucking regular sized neck in okay?

Emi Fukukada:
You're pretty weird looking, huh, Tsu

Tsunagu Hakamata:
Just bc u can't make anyone laugh without ur quirk <3

Emi Fukukado:
HAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY ASSHOLE😁

Yu Takeyama:
Shots are being fired that ain't never been fired before 💔

Ryuko Tatsuma:
Okay but like does anyone know what the hell is going on

Mirai Sasaki:
I do believe Hell is a fine summary in itself.

Nemuri Kayama:
Bro is salty bc he can't see how we'll fuck up his day in the future 😐

Tensei Iida:
Damn Mirai, maybe you should kill yourself too

Toshinori Yagi:
But u can't use the sunshine magnet

Anakuro Hirooki:
Christ this is pitiful. GET UR ACT TOGETHER BRICK FOR BRAINS

Oboro Shirakumo:
They probably can't hear u over the moping

Rumi Usagiyama:
Speaking of moping, where's emperor doom and gloom?

Shota Aizawa:
Literally how has this affected my life?

Emi Fukukado:
You raise a good point sir. Maybe I can finally become the serious person I was meant to be. Gang I'm gunna be a fuckin lawyer

Tsunagu Hakamata:
HAHA MAYBE U DO HAVE SOME JOKES

Emi Fukukado:
Actually Hakamata! Kys!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hizashi Yamada:
🔊🔊🔊🔊We cannot keep circling back to group suicide 🔊🔊🔊🔊

Keigo Takami:
What a bizarre way to cope. Does it work

Hizashi Yamada:
🔊YEAAAAAAH🔊

Keigo Takami:
🦅epic🦅

Tsunagu Hakamata:
👖That is an eagle my friend👖

Toshinori Yagi:
😪🤜💥

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
This is actually starting to hurt

Enji Todoroki:
We're in an alternate universe, you useless DISHRAGS👹👺

Tomoko Shiretoko:
Ohhhhh

Tensei Iida:
Suicide POSTPONED

Shinya Kamihara:
How is that a better situation to be in??

Yu Takeyama:
How do you even know that dude😭 The air taste different or sum???

Enji Todoroki:
There's a framed picture on my desk of me and the creature

Rumi Usagiyama:
What, of u and Toshinori? That's hilarious.

Keigo Takami:
AHAHA THEY'RE STOOD ARM IN ARM

Enji Todoroki:
GET OUT OF MY ROOM WALKS

Hizashi Yamada:
Ain't no way yo! Are they lovers????🔊🔊🔊

Shota Aizawa:
😰

Ryuko Tatsuma:
Real actually

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
Okay cute cute cute sure whatever I'll bleach my brain later. But how do we get back to yk our universe?

Kan Sekijiro:
Pass- just an fyi tho my blood pressure is actually perfect here so I wouldn't mind staying

Toshinori Yagi:
MUST BE NICE HUH

Tensei Iida:
Suicide BACK ON

Mirai Sasaki:
We must go back.

Oboro Shirakumo:
Ur telling me😭 Three of my friends are in a suicide pact and the other two are Hizashi and Sho so where does that leave me?

Anakuro Hirooki:
what shota? are u not joining the group suicide?

Shota Aizawa:
Not allowed.

Tomoko Shiretoko:
Don't you hate when ur boyfriend says u aren't allowed to do something 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Hizashi Yamada:
Uh huh, red flag? Go on then Shota kys

Tashiro Toyomitsu:
Aaaaand we're back to suicide 😐

Oboro Shirakumo:
STOP MAKING MY FRIENDS COMMIT

Shinya Kamihara:
I say we just wait it out, go to class, relax and see if sleep sorts it

Keigo Takami:
You mean I have to WALK to class? Room for one more in that pact guys?

Nemuri Kayama:
The more the merrier or whatever

Tsunagu Hakamata:
Dude it's a five minute walk MAX

Anakuro Hirooki:
but his poor little hollow birdy bones Tsunagu 🥺🥺

Rumi Usagiyama:
WE'RE IN A QUIRKLESS UNIVERSE NOW BOY, SHAPE UP THOSE NORMAL HEALTHY BONES, MAGGOT

Shota Aizawa:
What did you just call me?

Yu Takeyama:
Wow not everything is about you Shota

Emi Fukukado:
Yeah she could've been talking about Mirai

Mirai Sasaki:
? Excuse me?

Tsunagu Hakamata:
Or apparently this universe's Enji 💀💀💀💀💀

Enji Todoroki:
End your life asap

Rumi Usagiyama:
I DIDN'T CALL ANYONE A SLUR

Keigo Takami:
Yeah but u were still mean so it's basically the same

Ryuko Tatsuma:
Is that how that works?

Hizashi Yamada:
No.

Tashiro Toyomitsu:
The next person that mentions the suicide pact is getting sparked out.

Rumi Usagiyama:
I'll just die then

Rumi Usagiyama:
WAIT NO I SENT THAT BEFORE YOU SENT YOUR MESSAGE TASHIRO PLEASE ILL LIVE I PROMISE I'LL BE MERRY AND BRIGHT AND CHANGE MY WAYS

Kan Sekijiro:
The wonders of negative enforcement

Oboro Shirakumo:
That ain't ever worked on Shota

Tsunagu Hakamata:
Is anyone else just realising how redundant their quirks are or just me?? Bc I'm just wearing clothes rn like huh, nice.

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
You're treading a mighty thin line here but I get it ig

Hizashi Yamada:
I still have perfect pitch so 🤟🤟🤟🤟 Absolutely rocking to know that's natural talent and not because od my quirk ya dig?🔊

Ryuko Tatsuma:
I wonder if we might get away without causing a fire today

Enji Todoroki:
If I wanna cause a fucking fire I can and will

Nemuri Kayama:
Might make me feel better tbh

Shinya Kamihara:
If anything I'm realising how useful my quirk is.

Emi Fukukado:
Literally how

Shinya Kamihara:
Well I have to actually open doors now.

Kan Sekijiro:
So that's what that thud was

Anakuro Hirooki:
toshinori why are you crying over super strength literally just go to the gym and bang strong

Toshinori Yagi:
It's not the quirk it's the HISTORY AND THE PASSION AND HUMAN ENDURANCE AGAINST EVIL

Rumi Usagiyama:
Ohhh so he's gone completely loony then?

Shota Aizawa:
Silence homophobe

Rumi Usagiyama:
Pls let me get up im sorry

Shota Aizawa:
But yes Toshinori has gone fucking barmy

Tashiro Toyomitsu:
I was expecting this level of crash out from Enji instead

Enji Todoroki:
Again. I don't need a quirk to turn everything you love into ash

Emi Fukukado;
Booo👎 evil villain monologuing

Tensei Iida:
Do villains and heroes even exist in a world with no quirks??

Anakuro Hirooki:
nah you just get cunts all round

Keigo Takami:
What's the point of this regular ass school then? Are they going to try teach me GEOGRAPHY?

Nemuri Kayama:
More math.........😟

Tomoko Shiretoko:
Just fell to my knees

Yu Takeyama:
If not a hero, I wonder what this Yu is planning to be

Oboro Shirakumo:
I'd like to think other me is gonna be a fruit salesman!

Nemuri Kayama:
Really aiming high there buddy ❤

Tsunagu Hakamata:
I've pinned a note to the wall basically threatening other me to pursue modeling or else unspeakable horrors will be unleashed

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
God please do not become a parent that forces kids to follow your dreams

Enji Todoroki:
What tf else are kids for

Rumi Usagiyama:
Dude.

Mirai Sasaki:
Everyone in this class is fucked in the head

Ryuko Tatsuma:
Well, yes.

Yu Takeyama:
Just arrived in Yuuei's hallowed halls..... everyone's looking.....basic

Oboro Shirakumo:
Does that count as a microaggression??

Yu Takeyama:
Hop off ass eater.

Yu Takeyama:
I think Torino just smiled at me😟

Tsunagu Hakamata:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Toshinori Yagi:
Definitely an alternate universe then

Enji Todoroki:
WHICH I FUCKING SAID WHILE U WERE TOO BUSY CRYING

Toshinori Yagi:
That doesn't sound like me. ha😁.

Tensei Iida:
Quirkless brawl??? Toshinori would win

Keigo Takami:
Enji without his fire is just like a regular bear but normally the bear is on fire. And probs also has a gun.

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
What an astute observation!

Enji Todoroki:
I said I can and will start a fire regardless of my quirk, REMEMBER?

Hizashi Yamada:
Might ring a bell 🤨 idk man🔊

Shota Aizawa:
Wouldn't a fire be devastating in a Quirkless universe?

Shinya Kamihara:
Are you insinuating fires are not usually devastating?

Nemuri Kayama:
Well yeah, we're still alive somehow and fire literally comes out our ass

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
It's easy to put out fires when Class B is full of water quirks for some reason

Kazumi Tsuchinoko:
Oh wait. Quirkless universe. I see the issue.

Tsunagu Hakamata:
DEAR GOD. ENJI HOLD FIRE

Yu Takeyama:
Honestly I say go for it because Nice Torino is freaking me out. Like I know I'm his biggest hater but this is too much right? It's Evilrino or Norino. Don't tell me good morning, KICK ME

Hizashi Yamada:
And that, dear listeners, is called Stockholm Syndrome🔊

Mirai Sasaki:
I am going to close my eyes and when I open them, we better be back in our own universe.

Anakuro Hirooki:
yeah I miss my whole will they or won't they schtick I have about ending the world with my quirk :/

Oboro Shirakumo:
I MISS MY CLOUD

Shota Aizawa:
Again this affects me in no way at all

Nemuri Kayama:
There's no place like home 👠👠

Kan Sekijiro:
Can a guy not bask in being a normal teenager for ONE DAY without having to gush blood all over the place to have a successful career

Mirai Sasaki:
No.

Tomoko Shiretoko:
That's that ig💀 There's no place like home tho!

Hizashi Yamada:
YOU NEED THE RUBY SLIPPERS 👠👠🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊

Toshinori Yagi:
Oh all the stars in the sky, there is no place like home where I haven't fumnled 8 generations worth of strength and legacy 👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠

Emi Fukukado:
How many feet do you have, are u a fucking arachnid?

Hizashi Yamada:
WHERE🔊

Toshinori Yagi:
I thought the more slippers the better 😪😪😪

Tsunagu Hakamata:
What the Hell, sure. There's no place like home 👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠

___________________________

And that's a wrap on that little lapse in judgement. Even though this whole thing is stupidly ooc, class 1-arson are still my kids. The whole reason I got back into writing during Covid. I will not be getting all emo over this shit show but know it'll always be special to me.

Not sure if I'll apply myself to an actual Bnha fic, it's all in the hands of the hyperfixation machine (brain). If I did, it would probably be published on ao3 with the rest of my bangers 😼

Thanks to everyone that still reads this, I see you!! Thanks for making little 14 year old me think she was cool. I appreciate it, even 5 years later!

Have a good one and until next time!!