STREETCAR — Daniel Caesar

The sound of a pop fly being thrown out of the park rang through my senses, awakening me from my thoughts.

I sat upon the bench placed in the dugout, observing the game after tiredly playing through about four games. The sandlot gang and I had been playing baseball since nine in the morning, and I was exhausted.

I gazed at the boys in their familiar stances, the game appearing like it was progressing in slow motion.

I watched Smalls dig his heels on home plate, awaiting a heater to be thrown his way by DeNuenz. The swing of his bat penetrated the baseball, sending it straight over the fence with a heaving force.

As Smalls ran over to Mister Mertles house to retrieve the ball, the rest of the boys joined me in the dugout to rest and drink water from the mini fridge.

"Hey guys, I was thinking," Yeah-Yeah began. "Why not have a camp out tonight?"

I stared at the small boy in confusion, "what camp out?"

"We usually all have a sleepover in our tree house, it's a tradition, especially during summer time," Yeah-Yeah explained with beaming excitement.

"That sounds like a good idea, Yeah-Yeah," Kenny piped up, draining a bottle of water to stay hydrated.

The rest of the gang all shouted yeahs and cheers in unison at the idea, everyone answering or commenting apart from Benny.

"Are you coming tonight, Rodriguez?" Asked Timmy.

"Yeah, are you coming tonight, Rodriguez?" Tommy's voice echoed after his brother.

Benny turned to us and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, isn't it kind
of. . . boring?"

Each boy gasped at the words slipping from Benny's mouth, each of them painted in flabbergasted expressions.

"Boring? We've been doing it almost every weekend during the summer, it's always been your idea," Squints shrieked.

Benny rolled his eyes at the panic stricken boys, "fine, fine, fine, I'll come."

They all cheered, everyone exclaiming in excitement.

"You wanna come, Canada?" Benny asked, all of the boys diverting their attention to my answer.

"Uh, I'll ask, yeah." I replied, feeling a small pinch of excitement pulse through me as well as I gathered my belongings to rush home to pop the question to my mom.

✱✱✱

I sat on my mothers bed, my legs dangling off as I lazily sprawled my torso on the fluffy coated mattress.

"Mom," I began. "Can I ask you something?"

She rummaged through her closet to search for her nurse scrubs, "what is it, Lina?"

"I uh, my new friends are having this slumber party thing, can I go?"

My mother sighed as she continued pacing through the room, "I don't know if that's such a good idea, I have no idea who these friends of yours are, Lina,"

"Please mom? It'll mean a lot for me to go," I pleaded.

"I understand that Lina, but I don't want to be considered a bad parent if I let you off at a slumber party with kids I don't know." My mother explained, striding into her washroom to apply makeup.

I laid my torso upside down as I groaned in irritation. She acted as though she were some good mom, yet my entire life she witnessed me being abused and often contributed to it by throwing her baggage and problems on me, treating me as though I were her punching bag.

I loathed the nights I'd suffer with my mother screaming in pain about the life I robbed her of when she got pregnant with me, she was only a eighteen and hadn't even gathered her life to be able to manage a child.

She would blame me for my father not loving her anymore, or that I wasn't entitled to suffer from depression or anxiety due to me only witnessing her being abused, my own experiences 'not comparing' to hers.

I wanted to scream at how much my mother pretended to act as though she could call herself a decent mom, just because we changed houses didn't mean we left the memories behind.

"Okay Lina, who's going to this slumber party or whatever?" She muttered.

"The boys from next door, one is Benny Rodriguez and the other is Scotty Smalls, the rest of the group is another bunch of boys,"

"So, I'm supposed to let my only sixteen year old daughter attend a sleepover with a bunch of other boys?" She asked in a mocking manner.

"Mom, it's not like that, please let me go, I'll be on my best behaviour," I continued to beg.

"That's what you said before taking off to Blairs house and running away for a month just before we left," she huffed in annoyance as she recalled the events.

"Why are you even bringing that up? I ran away because you forced me to move to another country and I was angry," I hissed. "I already didn't have the chance at a normal childhood, having a dad, or being the slightest bit happy, the least you could do is attempt to care about me."

My mother turned away from the mirror, fuming in anger as she barked at me, "attempt to care about you Elena? this move was because I care about you, I helped you leave the drugs and cigarettes you turned to when you claimed you were sad, I'm giving you this opportunity at a new life,

"Your dad ruined us, I know, so I wanted to fix you Elena, I keep trying to show you this move is going to fix you, but you continue to dwell on the past and use your so called depression as an excuse to get high and party with your friends." Her abrasive voice slicing more holes in my already punctured lungs.

"You know what mom, you can't fix me when you are just as much the reason I'm still traumatized, go to work and let me hang around people that actually care," I roared back at her, standing at my feet as she gazed at me through the mirror, still padding makeup to her face.

She snickered at my words, "care about you?Elena, once they get to know you they will run, everyone does, this world is a cruel place and you'll learn."

I clenched my fists as she continued to mock me, obviously using it as a defence mechanism.

"No, I'm not as stupid as you, I actually know how to tell if someone cares or not,"

"If you're going for that boy next door, he isn't sticking around for long Elena, just know they all leave, you'll be baggage to them once they realize who you truly are," the ice coating my mothers words as she continued to hurt me in any way she could think of.

"Whatever, I don't care about your opinion, I'm going." I declared, stomping out of her room and running straight out the door.

I managed to escape the wrath of my mother as I ran down my street towards the Timmons house—which in fact was our designated meeting area.

Small tears spilled from my glossed eyes as my mothers words continued  to overflow my thoughts, drowning out my ability to control my composure.

As I stepped on the street that the guys had gave me direction to, I took the sleeve of my red hoodie—staining it with the tears—and rearranged my features to mask my emotions.

I heard the faint chants of the boys as I got closer to the house, making sure every inch of previous sadness that coated my face disappeared.

I knocked on the door, greeted with a friendly middle-aged women, most likely the Timmons' mother.

"Hello dear, the boys are already set up in the tree house out back, make yourself at home," her kind smile helped me ease into a comfortable state.

"Also," she piped up as I strode into the house to make my way to the backyard. "If you need to use the restroom or shower, just come in and let me know."

"Thank you, Mrs Timmons." I smiled appreciatively at the women with eyes identical to the brothers and short waves of strawberry blonde locks reaching her ears.

She waved at me as I exited the house, readjusting her bright pink floral dress.

I climbed up the ladder to make my way into the treehouse, overhearing the voices of the boys from above.

"Benny," I heard Squints call out. "Do you think Elena is pretty?"

I paused my movements trailing up the ladder, eavesdropping on the conversation that made me become apprehensive.

"Why?" he asked hesitantly.

"I don't know, I think she's pretty and you have been spending a lot of time with her, even slowly stopping baseball just to hang out with her," Squints explained, causing my grip on the ladder to become tighter.

"Man, I just went to two parties with her, I don't like her if that's what you're implying,"

"Nah, I'm just asking if you think the chicks pretty,"

"Yeah Squints, she's very pretty," Benny said, my eyes bulging from its sockets.

I slowly climbed up a bit higher, my eyes now in view of the scene above. I scanned the atmosphere to see Benny lounged on a black bean bag chair, throwing a baseball up as he kept his eyes to the ceiling. The rest of the boys were splattered all over the room attending to their sleep bags as Squints stood in front of Benny, observing his reactions.

"Did you have fun at the parties?" Squints continued to ponder him.

"I guess, it was a new experience, the people there weren't that bad and Elena helped me out a lot," Benny replied nonchalantly.

"Awe, what'd she do, smoke a joint and pass it to you from her lips?" Timmy joked.

"Shut up Timmy or I'll shove this baseball up your ass." Benny growled, standing up from his seat.

I decided to finally make my appearance known as I climbed up, heaving my torso inside.

All of the guys turned to me in bewilderment, trying to decipher if I had heard the conversation.

"Hey Elena," Benny smiled brightly at me, his previous nervousness evaporating.

"Hey guys," I greeted to them all, receiving bashful grins from each boy.

"What took you so long Lina, we wanted to go to Vincent's to stalk up on midnight snacks," Ham asked.

"Oh, I—uh. . . I had to help my mom out with some stuff before I came, sorry," I nervously babbled.

"It's okay, we're happy you made it, Canada," Benny gushed, causing an electric current to pulse through my body.

"Hey Lina, you want a s'more?" Ham asked as he took a seat to where he was making food.

"Sure Ham," I replied making my way over to him.

"She's gonna want s'more of those s'mores, Ham," Smalls interjected humorously.

"You're killing me Smalls," Ham rolled his eyes harshly. "Anyway, how many 'mallows you want on it?"

"Just one please,"

"Alrighty, here you go." Ham said, placing the gram cracker in the palm of my hand.

I sunk my teeth into it, chocolate dripping from my lips. I felt heavily insecure to eat this, but continued due to the heavily taste that danced upon my mouth.

I turned to Benny standing behind me as I sat cross legged in front of the small table Ham was seated upon, gazing up at him from the ground.

"This is heaven," I moaned at the taste, causing Benny to erupt in giggles.

"You got something on your lips," he pointed out, levelling on his knee to skim his index finger over the chocolate on the corner of my mouth.

"I dare you to eat it," I wickedly grinned as he stared at the substance now on his hand.

"Fine," he challenged, dipping his chocolate coated finger into his mouth, his eyes staring into mine with amusement.

My face flushed at the sight of him twirling his finger in his mouth, hues of pink blotched on my cheeks betraying me of my nervousness.

"Hey guys, stop flirting with picking the food from your mouths, it's gross," Ham said, scrunching his face in disgust.

"Shut up, Ham," Benny hissed as the other boys giggled in unison at the sight.

"Hey, I'm just saying you need to work on your wow factor Rodriguez, I'm sure Elena here has had much better play," Ham commented, Benny's face becoming beat red.

"Okay, go easy on 'em Ham, Benny here looks like he's about to go into cardiac arrest." Kenny giggled, placing his hand over Benny's shoulder.

"Alright guys, lets play a game," I finally spoke up.

"Like what?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah yeah, like what?" Yeah-Yeah questioned.

"Uh. . . lemme think," I paused to evaluate my thoughts. "How about truth or dare?"

"That's so boring," Ham groaned.

"I have an idea to spruce it up for you
guys. . . if you're down,"

"What?" Benny spoke up.

"Lets make this night a little
less. . . memorable." I declared, impulsively creating a plan.

✱✱✱

After taking the time to convince the
boys—pondering them for hours, they finally took up my offer and followed the instructions to my plan.

The plan was simple: we find a way to sneak out of the Timmons backyard without Mrs. Timmons noticing, get a ladder to reach my bedroom window, and lastly have Benny and I climb the ladder to my room to retrieve my stuff.

I convinced the boys to take their first hits of marijuana because I couldn't contain my sadness much longer. It became a habit for me to intoxicate myself when I was sad, which wasn't anything I was particularly proud of.

I selfishly managed to convince the guys to try it out for fun, even though I had already promised certain people I'd stop being the bad influence.

A little weed wouldn't hurt anyone, I thought.

We all exited the tree house quietly, hushing Ham after his complaints of it being too dark to see anything.

Squints balanced a flashlight in his grasp behind us as we all ducked and ran to the front of the house, trying to keep our heads down as we laughed at the sight of Mister Timmons snoring heavily in his bedroom window.

We managed to successfully make our way to the street, all of us walking in a straight line to my house.

The neighbourhood was dead silent as the stars scattered across the dusk of sky that hung above us.

Benny stood next to me, his eyes trained on my profile as I gazed at the alignment of exquisite stars poured into the night sky. I felt self-conscious as he continued to glue his eyes to me, making it harder for me to take my eyes off the sky.

"It's pretty isn't it?" My voice came out in a weak croak.

"Yeah," his eyes still on me. "Sure is."

I looked down and felt a smile pinch my features, turning to him with amusement.

We all trailed in a line down the street to reach the cul-de-sac, everyone taking their positions to the side of my house in order to place the ladder.

I wasn't sure if my moms shift started yet, so I was worried she'd catch me and keep me at home.

Ham and Bertram who had been carrying the large ladder—which we managed to retrieve from the shed of the Timmons—placed the ladder to align with my bedroom window.

The boys all kept their grips on the bottom as Benny and I ascended up the ladder in quiet motion, pacing as slow as possible.

The ladder creaked a bit as a gust of wind almost made me fall, but Benny reached up and grabbed my torso by the waist, placing me back to where I had a comfortable grasp.

I heaved into my window, throwing myself in but somehow managing to be as quiet as I could. Benny followed right after.

"Okay," I whispered. "Get my backpack, it's by my desk."

"Okay," Benny replied in a hushed tone as he rushed to retrieve the targeted item.

I also grabbed a change of clothing to sleep in, throwing a black t-shirt and grey shorts that I threw into the backpack Benny was now carrying.

"Do you want me to carry it?" He asked kindly.

"It's okay—"

"No, actually I will carry it, I don't want you to fall off the ladder," he declared.

"Are you sure, Benny?"

"Yeah, it's no problem Elena." He affirmed, placing his body in position to climb down the ladder.

The half of his torso hung out the window, but before he placed the rest of himself outside, he spoke up. "Elena, I'm kinda scared about this."

"About the weed?"

"Yeah," he clarified. "I've never really. . . done anything like this before."

"If you're not ready don't do it, I've already pressured you all tonight and I feel like shit," I explained. "I just wanted to do it for myself because it helps me."

"Helps with what?" He questioned, my senses being penetrated by my nerves.

"Nothing, let's just go." I dismissed, getting closer to the window to wait for him to get down.

We managed to get down quickly, avoiding any contact with my hot-headed mother. The boys all cheered at our successfully completed plan.

"I can't believe we went to all this work to do something stupid," Ham piped up.

"It'll be fun, just await and see." I affirmed, taking my position back to make our way to the tree house.

✱✱✱

The group sat in a circle in the occupied treehouse, each boy observing me as I began to roll a thick joint.

They all stared at me in pure curiosity, their eyes glued to the small paper of the shredded substance as I skimmed my tongue to close it securely.

I pulled out my lighter, placing the rolled joint to balance in the centre of my lips.

"Elena wait," Ham spoke up. "Am I gonna be okay?"

"Ham, don't worry, I'll make sure you'll be fine." I reassured him, directing it to comfort all the boys that appeared to be fumbling with their fingers nervously.

I stained the joint with the flames of my lighter, inhaling as much as my lungs could contain. My eyes darted to meet Benny's, his chartreuse orbs sparkling in some kind of delight.

I passed it around the circle of boys, studying each of their reactions. There was a lot of coughing causing us all to laugh, but then they all settled down to wait for the intoxicating state to penetrate their senses.

I watched Benny intently, his plump pink lips balancing the herb between his pearly white teeth. He inhaled it, but hadn't managed to keep it down for long when coughs began to bombard him aggressively. I laughed hysterically at the sight, following the laughter of the rest of the boys.

We began to play truth or dare, Yeah-Yeah hardly being able to speak as Ham picked him first.

"Yeah-Yeahhh man, truth or dare?" Ham snickered.

"I'm a mermaid guys, look," he cackled in laughter, rolling his legs to resemble the creature.

Timmy didn't let Tommy to participate due to him being the youngest of us with the age of 12, so Tommy laid down in his sleeping bag on the verge of unconsciousness.

"I said truth or dare, blockhead," Ham spoke up again trying to get Yeah-Yeah's attention.

"Oh, dare,"

"I dare you to. . ." Ham paused. "Strip to just your boxers for the rest of the night."

"Affirmative Sargent." Yeah-Yeah responded, slapping his hand to his forehead.

Yeah-Yeah threw off his PF flyers, then denim Jeans and his white t-shirt, being left in only his superman boxers. We all laughed as he didn't appear to be phased, a smile permanently carved on his features childish features.

"Okay, my turn penis faces," Yeah-Yeah announced confidently.

"Bertram, truth or dare?"

Bertram hazily looked up from studying his hands, his head swaying a bit, "wha. . . "

"Truth or dare!" Yeah-Yeah shouted, causing us all to spit into fits of laughter once again. It could've also made us laugh due to our intoxicated state.

"Truth," Bertram replied, rubbing his eyes.

"Okay, if you had to date any girl you know, who would you date?"

"Uh, either Adrianna Schaffer in grade twelve, or Elena if Benny didn't have the hots for her,"

Benny groaned at his words, "fuck off Bertram, I don't like anyone."

His words—which I had predicted due to us only being friends for about a week, still managed to make my heart clench a bit, causing me to want to quit the game. I was also surprised at Bertram's statement.

"Okay Benjamin, truth or dare?" Bertram wickedly grinned.

"Truth," Benny answered nonchalantly.

"Who would you date out of all the girls you know?" Bertram asked, asking the same question he had been asked.

"I don't know man." Benny shook him off, standing up to retrieve a water bottle.

"Okay, Elena, how about you?" Bertram redirected the question to me, my hands beginning to feel clammy from the drenching sweat as everyone's eyes targeted on me.

I wasn't as intoxicated as the other boys so I was able to still control what I was saying, my thoughts were just roaming very fast.

"I don't know, I don't know anyone well enough," I shrugged.

"You date someone to get to know them idiot,"

"Whatever, this game sucks, you guys ask wussy questions." I said, also exiting the circle.

I plopped in Benny's bean-bag chair as they continued the game, eating a leftover bag of skittles in my backpack. Benny walked over to me and asked if he could share the chair with me, causing me to scoot over to make room for him.

Our torsos were pressed closely to each other, a small feeling rummaging in my stomach as I felt his shoulder leaned against mine.

I pulled out my phone and headphones, putting on streetcar by Daniel Caesar. I looked over at Benny and offered him an earphone as he took it with an appreciative smile.

As the soft piano melody danced in the atmosphere, I felt my head swaying. The intoxication began to take a toll on my senses as I felt my emotions all rearrange too fast for my control.

Benny grabbed my head and placed it on his shoulder as I began to lose my composure, the music engulfing the both of us as he leaned his head over mine.

I felt sleep slowly drain the rest of my thoughts, the feeling of Benny on me causing me to feel at ease.

✱✱✱

"Elena," Benny's voice awoken me from a nightmare I was struggling to sleep with, my body drenched in sweat and my eyes covered in tears. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, I uh—I was having a nightmare," I explained, trying to pace my breathing to catch my breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, his body standing up from the bean-bag chair to sit in front of me on the ground.

"It's really nothing Benny, I'm fine," I tried to dismiss the topic.

"Elena, I know we are very far from close, but if you ever need like. . . to talk to someone, I'm here,"

"Thank you, Benny," I smiled appreciatively.

He stood up to observe the atmosphere, all of the boys sprawled in different spots: Kenny in his sleeping bag in the corner, Timmy asleep on another corner with his sleeping bag as well, Tommy missing—which meant he probably went home to sleep, Squints, Bertram, and Ham all laid in scrunched positions in the circle that once involved their game of truth or dare.

I laughed at the sight, trying to recall the events that happened before I fell asleep, but only remembering Benny's head on mine.

Benny walked over to his backpack to retrieve his sleeping bag and threw it in the spot located in front of the chair I sat upon.

"Where's your sleeping bag, Canada?" He asked.

"I forgot it," I sighed.

"Do you want to sleep in mine?" He offered, getting into his sleeping-bag and scooting over to make room.

I walked over to the laid out sleeping bag and slid in next to him, my torso being face-to-face with his. We stared at each other silently as the sounds of night creatures and small brushes of wind poured into the atmosphere.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, his angelic irises gazing into mine.

"It's pretty stupid," I frowned.

"You look sad, what's wrong?" He continued to ponder.

"It's just. . . I got into this stupid fight with my mom, I'd rather not get into my messy relationship with her,"

"I don't like seeing you sad, you have such a nice smile when you're happy," he complimented, causing a flock of butterflies to tumble in my abdomen.

"Shut up,"

"Learn to take a compliment, Canada," he laughed, causing me to giggle.

"Are you still high?" I voiced.

"I don't think so, when I was I felt like my brain was spinning and every thought I had would roll off my tongue,"

"I always feel like that, but I hate being high,"

"Then why do you do it?" He inquired curiously.

"I do it when I'm sad, which isn't something smart to do but like other flaws, I do stupid shit like this," I confided, his eyes scanning me warily as my eyes locked on my hands that were pressing my face.

"I wish I knew why you were sad," his voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

"No you don't, Benny," I felt my eyes become glossy. "You'll run, they all do."

With the last words slipping from my mouth, I pressed my eyelids shut and seeped into sleep to avoid Benny's badgering questions. I knew deep down my mom was right, I was just a naive kid that was broken, I didn't deserve to put baggage on other people from my problems.

I felt Benny lace his hand with mine, skimming his fingers over my clenched fist slowly, causing me to finally sleep in a serenity.

//////a.n\\\\\\

long ass chapter, which is un-edited smh.

Also,

Making this chapter or any of the others involving drugs or alcohol is not me supporting the idea of underage kids doing it, just clarifying!

I didn't include bonus moments of the guys experiences being under the influence because the chapter was already long enough, I could include a bonus one in Benny's point of view if any of you readers want. Just comment below.

-nr