If you are uncomfortable reading about depression, or seeing swear words, I would advise you to skip this chapter. If these things trigger you or make you break then PLEASE do NOT read this.

WARNING: SWEARS, DEPRESSION, HONESTY

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Okay people I'm tired of seeing people who are depressed and think they are worthless. Alright, you think you're fat, you're ugly, no one likes you, you're trash, you shouldn't have existed, etc etc. I could go on and on but no, I won't.

Just because a few people in this world think about you like that doesn't mean you have to fucking take their opinion for it. There are millions of other people out there who you have never even met and you choose to listen to those shit heads.

Listen, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, because yeah I actually try to get it and will sort of understand because I'm depressed too. But I try to make it better because I know that whatever it is I'm thinking is wrong and somewhere out there people think about me differently than I do myself.

I've realized that just because someone has a strong impact on your life and they just keep giving you scars over and over again, each time getting deeper and deeper, you shouldn't give up. Hope is basically dead to people, but that just means your giving in to the dark.

I know you've been told this a million times and still nothing will change your mind, but you are NOT worthless. You deserve to live just as much as the next person. I couldn't give two shits what some asshole said about you, but I care about you.

Unlike some other people, what happens actually matters to me. You can do anything. Most of us here are fangirls, correct? Well use lessons you learn from your whole journey as one, all of them you learned in life and fucking think about them. I try to make the most out if everything before you can't anymore, and because of the life I live, and add everything I've been through and learned, I became deeper, more understanding.

You wanna complain about your annoying family? Well don't talk to me, because here I am trying to keep on everything I've ever felt, bottled up inside me. And then my fucking parents decide to tell me that I don't care about anyone but myself, I'm obsessed with my phone, my attitude, lack of respect and obedience, and I could go on and fucking on until the end of time or longer.

Fanfiction, Wattpad, and the all the fandom stuff in general are all things that keep me alive. If I never started reading books, if I never joined any fandoms, I'd have committed suicide at this rate. The journey, fanfiction, people, they've all taught me something along the way. It's made me who I am today.

But that's not enough for me. I try to look at other peoples perspectives on this and go from there. I'm not just looking at my own point of view and going around, pissed as fuck at everyone with no solid reason why I am. I do things with reason, no matter how pissed I am.

When you look at things from other people's point of it, you'll probably feel guilty and like it was your fault. You'll probably feel worthless and more depressed. Because that's how I felt. But what it does is that it gives you a challenge. It gives you two options:

One, you could give in to that guilt and depression and just give up. All those sacrifices and care that has gone into helping? Well, it was worth a try, I guess.

Two, you could challenge yourself to push past this and do what is RIGHT, not EASY. The road will be hard, long, torturous, and will make you want to give it all up, but you just have to strive past that. And through this whole big journey I have learned that if I ever want to do something with my life I'll pick option two.

Think about it:
Harry Potter. A boy who lived with no love, no one to care. Probably thought no one would care about him. Just a regular nobody. That's a description of me when depression takes over for a period of time. Look at him now: famous, loved, cared for, and a HERO.

Percy Jackson. His only hope being his mom, Sally. Probably abused by Smelly Gabe, I don't know how he made it. But he did. And now, he is the person who people look up to. In fanfiction I have read, I look to him as my idol, who I strive to be. Someone who will inspire, who was broken, should've been shattered, but came out of it.

Your scars are your medals that show that you are a WARRIOR. You've made it this far, make it farther. Your scars show the battles you've fought, the ones you made it out of. Everyone has their demons, and I know some don't make it out of that hole. Out of the closet. Out of hiding, out of keeping secrets, out of that mask you wear to everything.

I would go on, but words couldn't possibly express how you feel, how I feel, what's in our minds. For in my mind at least, it's simple in there. But when you go to describe it, to put it in words, poof goes your vocabulary because nothing in it is complex enough to even try and hold a candle to the complete fucking inferno that is your chaos of a mind.

So I hope that I helped you in some way, even if I just couldn't write down what I really wanted to say. It's right there, but I just can't write it down. It would be pointless to go on because my message has been stated.

If you want more than that, don't be afraid to tell me. I'll be more than glad to offer you some more things I've learned over the course of my experience in this unavoidable journey in a maze of twists and turns, or better known as life. So hopefully your learning to love yourself and embrace who you are. LGBTQ+, Asian, Black, White, Australian, European, Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist (sorry if I didn't spell it right), pre teen, teen, adult, elderly, Fangirl, nerd, popular, emo, goth, punk, geek, a fanatic of something, a hopeless romantic, whatever the fuck you are, you are ALL human, equal, and deserve to be loved.

You are awesome

You are goals

You have people who care (like mE!)

And there are other people out there who also go through this horror story that is life.

There's so much more I want to say that cannot be described by words, but there's my rant, or speech I guess. If you want more just tell me and I'll gladly get to that. The ending was supposed to be up there but fuck that because I'll never be done with this. I'm not done here, but this will do, for now. If you need more, just remember that I'm here and ready to write more.