This is kind of a message to just the general people that I know, but this is also more personal and for my family. I just needed to let it out because I don't know if I'll be able to tell them in person.

Is it normal to suddenly just feel like really depressed and stuff? Because all I can think about right now is how horrible of a person I've been and that one day everyone I love will die... I've never wanted to know if there was truly a heaven to go to so much before, and I'm a Catholic person but I just need reassurance because what if I find out that God's not real? That when I die, that's it, there's nothing after it? That's too much for me to handle... I know not all of you are religious people, but I just need to let this out. I love my God but I'm so scared, and I love my family so much, they are my world and support me through everything even when we have our fights. I just—I can't lose my family. I'm sorry, I just feel like crap still because of the flu and I don't even know what to feel. I just want everyone, even those who won't read this, to know that I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so very sorry. For everything. And that I appreciate everyone more than you all know. And I'm sorry for getting emotional on all of you. To my parents, my family, and hell, to my dog, even though I know they'll probably never read this or know about this, I want them to know that despite us not always being this ideal loving family, I love you all with my whole being. Please be safe in whatever afterlife you go into, if you do go into one, which I pray you do.