*so sorry for spam guys

Ngl guys, I need advice. Or just help in general. Did you read my rant from last chapter? No? That's okay, it's just more context, not too essential—I think.

another ramble, sorry guys

Anyways, say I build up the courage to tell my crush I like him. Then I get rejected. When giving my "I Like You" speech, should I make it obvious I'm expecting a rejection so they don't feel bad? I think I should. Should I let my parents know? Should I try and get closer with them first? Should I start to kind of spread a rumor I like him first? Then give it time to bloom then confess? What do I do if I happen to get a positive response? Hug? My hands and just my whole body is probably tense and sweaty though. Is there anything I should do in specific? Should I wait for a special date? There's this carnival that I might see him at in like May. I could ask him when he's going and if he wants to meet up, but what would I tell my friends? They would group up around me and only one knows of my crush. Two think my crush likes one of my other friends. What would I tell my parents about it? Wouldn't he want to be with his friends more? What do I go to him and he's just with his friends and I'm alone? I guess I should bring a friend at the very least? The one that knows? And then when I get rejected I still have school with him for a long time. So? Is it worth it? Should I wait until our very last year together? Probably too late by then. I'm also pretty impatient, but I've been doing exceptionally well imo for having waited about two years to tell him. I'm scared. What if I'm single forever because of this? I can't be single forever, I'm too much of a desperate bottom who can do like nothing for myself. I really really like this dude. I don't want to mess up whatever aquatint-ship we have going on. What if one of my minor crushes like me back instead? Then it looks like a rebound? Or they stop liking me bc they think I like him? I do like him. Minor crush < Crush. It shouldn't matter right? People like nice people. People that are just good people in general. Who are like them, or who they can relate to. So that's what I have to do. Make an effort to be in his life. That's hard. Can't start a conversation because of anxiety. Can't tell him how I feel because I'll be rejected, probably. Could just flirt with him. Right? Like some pick up lines here and there? Do I just flat out compliment him? I would, but like... I dunno, actually, I just a lot of anxiety about this in general. Do you really need me to go on? To talk about why he's so attractive?

Also, a side note. But an important side note, nonetheless. Being in a hereto relationship will not make me straight. Being in a gay relationship wouldn't make me gay. I am bi/queer/fluid. I'm allowed to not feel 50/50. I just feel the need to defend myself because some people just don't get that. But I know you guys weren't judging me on that or anything and that you guys get that. But I never know who's reading, I guess. Thanks for reading up to here btw.

Please, just—I need advice. Share an experience, maybe? I know that he's unique and not completely like the type of dude you might describe to me, or the "average guy", but damn, just any advice. Please. I fell so hard for this one. Like, Draco who? (if you knew me back then, you'll probably hopefully get the weight of that)