SEPTEMBER
—after Bella's birthday—

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It was difficult, to say the least. Going about my day without him there to pester me. It wasn't easy, but breakups never were. He hadn't been the first boy I dated but he was the first boy I loved. My heart had been broken but I knew with time that it would heal. Dad knew how shitty I felt and let me stay home from school for the rest of that week. Bella stayed too, but she never emerged from her room. After that night, Dad and I had a heart-to-heart and I let everything out - almost everything. I cried loudly, told him how much it hurt, and in return, he comforted me and offered to shoot him. I almost agreed only because I knew Emmett was practically indestructible.

I tried to talk to Bella but she did what she had always done - she shut us out. She wouldn't speak to Dad and me, she refused to eat. All Bella did was stare out her window. When it came time to return to school - she still wouldn't move. Instead, I endured the stares and whispers alone and prayed that she would surprise me and show up to class, but she never did. After school when I'd take her work to her, she still wouldn't look at me.

I wanted to yell at her and curse at her because it was almost selfish what she was doing. I understood that her breakup was just as terrible as mine but I didn't shut her out. I wanted my big sister to comfort me the way she was supposed to do but instead, I comforted her. I wanted us to heal together, cry together, and talk to each other, but it wasn't possible. My sister was fading away and Dad and I both hoped that with time, she would heal and be the Bella we once knew.

At school, everyone knew about the Cullens' departure. Rumors spread about why they left but the school nurse told everyone who asked that Carlisle had accepted a job offer in a much larger city for a much larger pay. Everyone stared at me as I walked from class to class and I did my best to ignore them. Greg made it no secret just how excited he was that they were gone but I knew for my sake that he hid it when I was around. The girls on the squad gave me advice and helped me in any way they could. It had only been two weeks that he had been gone and I smiled to myself as I felt the pain lessen every day.

On the weekends I found myself visiting La Push quite frequently. I'd spent my time with Jared or Paul, sometimes Sam when he wasn't working. I knew that the three of them shared Greg's happiness. Rumors spread in Forks of a celebration party the kids on the reservation had when they found out the Cullens left. There was no doubt in my mind that Paul and Jared both attended and joined in on the festivities.

The boys helped me in any way they could. Giving advice, offering hugs, threatening to beat up the boy who broke my heart, they were willing to do anything. Though they weren't the best advice givers, a few things they had told me stood out. I deserved to be happy, and that no boy was worth my tears.

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OCTOBER

Football season had begun. Which meant games every weekend, pep rallies, tons of cheering, and countless training. Evie pushed us hard during practices, she wanted us to be ready. She taught us new cheers every week so we weren't doing the same old thing, she asked the principals for new uniforms - which we got - and made our practices longer. So needless to say that when Forks High had its first game, we were beyond ready to cheer until we died.

After we won the first game but lost the second, the coach hired a new assistant coach for the team. Our cheerleaders were taking a small break and sitting on the bleachers when he came in. I frowned slightly when I realized he had replaced Emmett but it turned into a small smile when my heart didn't hurt as much as I thought of him. The new coach was young, he looked to be just under thirty. The girls swooned as he walked by and some of the players on the football team glared at him. They were jealous of their girlfriends' infatuation with the new coach.

He was taller than almost all of the players as he stood next to them, his skin was a tan color, and his brown hair was kept short on top of his head. He felt familiar to me and when he turned around I knew why. Paul was the new assistant football coach. He sent me a wink discreetly but the girls beside me noticed. Once practice was over and he was free to leave, he approached me as I still sat on the bleachers. I gave him a tight hug before I let him drive me home. I heard the girls whispering about us, but none of what they said was true. Paul was my brother, nothing more.

The school became less saddening and by the time Halloween rolled around, almost everyone had forgotten about the Cullens. That day everyone wore masks or headbands with animal ears on them and went around trying to scare everyone as they lingered in the school hallways. Dad gave me a ride home before jetting off to work and I smiled sadly at my sister who still sat staring out her window. I left a bowl of candy on the porch for the neighborhood kids before driving over to Sam's decked out in my costume.

I had chosen to go as a fallen angel. My blonde hair had temporary streaks of pink, blue and green while the black skater dress and black feathery wings finished off the look. Sam was surprised at my choice but only because he assumed I would be a "non-fallen angel." Paul had a fit about the new colors in my hair but relaxed when I told him they were washable. Jared almost had a fit about the length of my dress but it ceased when I revealed the shorts I had on underneath.

I passed out candy at Billy's house while Jake and his little group of friends hosted a party. Most of the reservation was invited but only those close to Billy showed up. Jake was a little disappointed but when I shoved a cupcake in his mouth, his sour mood evaporated. By the end of the night, I had slipped out of my converse and just walked around in my socks. A little after midnight, I drove Bella's truck back home and delivered a small bag of candy to her. She dismissed it and pretended to be asleep.

Bella was still slipping away.

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NOVEMBER

The leaves had fallen and changed their colors, and the sky held an ominous glow, but my sister still ignored it all. Dad and I had become used to it - along with her screaming during the middle of the night from her nightmares. She never told us what they were about but I had a feeling they were Edward. We were still jolted awake from them but all we did now was stand outside her door and wait for it to stop. And eventually, it would.

Dad and I went about our day normally - he went to work, I went to school - but I could feel him stare at me during dinner and when I turned to look at him he'd just smile. I knew that he was happy that I wasn't taking my breakup like Bella and instead moving on slowly. I smiled often and even as I thought of Emmett, my smile never faded. Emmett was becoming what he wanted to be - merely a distant memory.

The Friday before Thanksgiving break, we had a football game. The boys played the best they could and with Paul's surprisingly good coaching skills, they won. The team celebrated by throwing a party at one of their houses but I wasn't able to attend. I had agreed to babysit Mike Newton's younger brother Joshua and instead I spent my night playing video games and watching cartoons with the twelve-year-old. He was a sweet kid and nothing like his older brother - which I was thankful for.

On Thanksgiving day, Dad and I tried desperately to get Bella to come out of her room. But she refused to, only coming out to go to school. So together Dad and I left Bella at home with a box of pizza and headed to Billy's for dinner. Sam, Emily, and the guys were there along with Harry Clearwater and his family. Harry's children Seth and Leah were there, and I easily became friends with Seth. Leah seemed to be angry with me and I knew it was only because I was close to Sam and Emily. If I hadn't been friends with her ex-boyfriend, she would've liked me.

As we all sat around a small bonfire and said what we were thankful for, we laughed occasionally. When Jake mentioned how he was thankful for his video games, that earned a round of laughter and a smack on the head from Billy. But when it became Dad's turn I couldn't help but cry. He mentioned Bella and I and how he was thankful for us. That earned him a hug and Harry a playful smack from his wife, Sue.

When Dad and I returned home, Bella was already asleep but we were pleased to find out that the box of pizza was empty. We left her plate of food in the fridge before we went to bed. We slept for a few hours before Bella began screaming once again.

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DECEMBER

To say December was my favorite month would be an understatement. It held two of my favorite holidays: my birthday and Christmas. My birthday was exactly one week before Christmas and during school that day the girls on the squad and the football team threw me a mini party during lunch. The girls had decorated the outside of my locker and filled the inside with purple balloons. My birthday had gotten off to a good start and when I came home and found Dad waiting for me with a small chocolate cupcake with a candle in it, I almost cried.

I split the cupcake in half and shared it with him before he left for work. I happily ran up to Bella's room and tackled her in a hug, though she didn't return it. I reluctantly let her go and was about to say something when she interrupted. "At least your birthday is better than mine was." I stormed out of her room before I yelled at her.

Emmett no longer clouded my mind or caused pain in my heart but the memory of that day still did. I wanted to slap my sister. It was my birthday and she had once again managed to make it all about her. Her pain may have been worse than mine, but I didn't need to be reminded of it. I quickly changed into a purple dress Emily bought for me before driving to Sam's. A few tears escaped on the way there but I quickly wiped them away.

Sam and Emily greeted me with a cake that seventeen purple candles on it and I immediately blew them out after they finished singing happy birthday. Paul and Jared arrived a few minutes later and belted out the lyrics of a random Christmas song before laughing and trying to shove my face into the cake. Emily wasn't having it and threatened them and that made them stop. If there was one thing those boys loved more than Emily's cooking, it was cake. And the idea of them not getting any almost made them cry.

Christmas was a family affair and Bella was involved. But only because instead of going to the reservation like always, Dad and I invited everyone to our house. Bella stayed upstairs and didn't come down to greet anyone though they all knew she was there. We all exchanged gifts after eating the food Emily and Sue brought over. Dad had given me a new telescope to replace the old one I broke last Christmas, along with some jewelry.

I got more jewelry from everyone else and clothes from Sam and Emily. I was happy with my presents but sad when I noticed Bella hadn't opened the one I gave her. I had placed the small gift by her door and inside it were some new charms for her bracelet. Once everyone had left, I sat in my room and thought back on the year.

I fell in love, then had my heart broken. I healed my heart and felt it was whole again. I made new friends and lost some. Gained new enemies, killed those. Moved to a new/old place, and never wanted to leave. Grew half an inch, still short.My year was eventful and a gut feeling told me that the next year would be just as full as the last.