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" Remind me again why you picked up these pieces of crap?" I jerked my thumb to the back where Bella had loaded two crappy motorcycles in her truck. She ignored me and I sighed. We had been driving around aimlessly after she picked me up from work and she stopped as she saw the pieces of junk metal on the side of the road. I watched her as she picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"Hey, Dad." I rose an eyebrow as I listened in on her conversation. Calling Dad while he was at work was a new thing for her. "No, nothing wrong. I just wanted directions to the Black's place."

"I could drive us there." I offered with a grin. She shook her head at me and went back to her conversation. "There's no reason to be rude about it," I mumbled as I slumped against the leather seat and waited for her to drive.

"Alright, thanks." She hung up and started driving. The drive to Jake's was silent. Neither of us made a move to begin a conversation. And I knew it was because she was still pissed at me.

Last night when she had returned home from hanging out with Jessica, she walked in on Embry and me kissing. Embry awkwardly left and that's when Bella started yelling. She said some things to me that resulted in me yelling right back at her until we both calmed down and apologized. But I knew she was still upset, and I was just as upset as she was. Bella and I had drifted apart once we arrived in Forks and we were both desperately trying to grasp onto what was left of our friendship.

After an agonizingly silent drive, we pulled up to the small faded red house. Jacob appeared on his porch as we both climbed out of the truck. He met us halfway but I passed him and headed straight to Billy instead. I quickly hugged my godfather before watching Jake wrap his arms around Bella happily. It was a sight to see- Jake the man giant hugging my tiny sister who was surprisingly donning a smile.

"You grew!" Bella exclaimed as they pulled apart. I was true, he had. Jake had transformed fairly well. Puberty did him good.

"Six-five." He smiled at her. I cursed under my breath and suddenly I hated my short height even more.

"Stop growing." Bella glared at him.

"Doesn't work that way Bells." He laughed. Billy and I exchanged a look before we both went inside and left Bella and Jake outside.

"How've you been Clary?" Billy stared at me as I sat on his couch. I didn't like the look in his eyes and I hated the sudden rush of anger I felt. I knew he was pleased that the Cullens were gone but I still felt the need to defend them - and for that I blamed Rosalie. If it hadn't been for her keeping in touch with me and texting almost every hour, maybe that feeling would disappear.

"I'm okay." I shrugged. "First breakups are usually the hardest but I'm okay now." I sent him a small smile and I saw the smug look in his eyes fade. He sent me a small smile and I could see how guilty he felt for acting the way he had been.

"They are but they get better in time." I got up and hugged him. The Billy I knew growing up had made an appearance and the prideful Cullen hating Billy left.

"Clary come on, Jake's going to show us his car." Bella waved over at me from the doorway. I nodded and gave Billy a small hug before following after her. I pulled the hood of my sweater over my head as rain poured on us. We walked into the wooden garage/shed and observed the rusted white car that sat before us.

"What type of car is it?" I found myself asking.

"A Volkswagen Rabbit, 1986." Jake proudly answered. "Classic." I snorted and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't poke fun at my car." I stuck my tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes. I walked over to his car and yanked the heavy door open. It made a horrible squeaking sound I snorted at the disappointed look Jake wore.

"Oh yeah, classic." I joked and sat on the torn leather seats. Jake closed the door as soon as I was in and then walked out, following Bella to the truck. I plugged my headphones into my phone and I started jamming out and pretending to be a racecar driver as Green Day blasted in my ears. I was oblivious to everything that was going on and I failed to notice Jake and Bella standing beside Embry and Quil as they all watched me. It wasn't until Jake banged his hand against the hood of the car that I came to my senses.

"What's up?" I yanked the earbuds out and smiled at them sheepishly. Bella shook her head and turned to Jacob. I saw her turn around and drag Jake to the motorcycles. Embry and Quil exchanged a look before Quil walked away also and Embry came to the other side of the car. He pulled the door open and sat beside me. He slammed the door closed, before speaking.

"We need to talk." He spoke calmly, something I wouldn't be able to do. I knew this conversation was going to happen but I didn't think it'd be this awkward or public. "Our kiss-" he began but I cut him off.

"Was something. But it won't turn into anything." I was blunt. I didn't want to be but I didn't want to sugarcoat anything either. I could practically hear his heart break as I waited for him to respond. But as the clock ticked and seconds passed, I knew he wouldn't. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. I shoved my phone into my pocket and exited the car. The slam of the door had everyone staring at me.

"I'm going to Emily's. I'll see you later Bells." I pulled my hood and ignored the looks they were sending me. As I walked away from them I turned and gave them a small smile. They glanced from me to Embry but I couldn't follow their gaze. Hurting Embry wasn't easy and if I saw his face, I knew I'd end up doing something I'd regret.

I walked away from the wooden garage and trudged through the rain as I walked away from Jake's house altogether. I could feel the rain soaking my leggings and my hoodie but the cold was numb to me. Hurting Embry brought back unwanted reminders of the pain I felt with Emmett. I shook my head and my thoughts away as I splashed my converse in a large puddle. I carefully walked through it- soaking my socks in the process- and I froze as I felt my phone vibrate.

I pulled it out and a text from Rosalie was lighting up the screen. Grabbing my phone out of my pocket during a rainstorm might have been a bad thing. I dropped it into the puddle and I felt the splash from it. I cursed and fished it out of the muddy puddle and examined it as I began to walk. I blinked the rain out of my eyes and finally walked down the dirt road to Emily's house. I could see lights from inside the house through the windows as I knocked on the door. Emily opened the door and she gasped as she saw me.

"I'm an idiot," I confessed to her before she could say anything. She smiled sympathetically at me before welcoming me into the house. I discarded my shoes by the door as she dragged me into the bathroom. I waved at Sam and Paul as we passed them and stared curiously at me.

"Leave your wet clothes in the tub and I'll get you some dry ones." She handed me a towel from the cabinet and I silently grabbed it from her. She closed the door behind her as she walked out and I quickly stripped out of my clothes. I wrapped the towel around my name body and I tied my wet hair messily into a bun. Emily knocked and I opened the door. I smiled at her as I took the clothes that she gave me. I closed the door and I examined the items she gave me. They were clothes I had left here before and I sighed in relief as I saw underwear in the small pile.

I slipped on the black leggings over my underwear and I instantly felt my legs welcome the warmth they provided. I pulled the grey tank top on and slipped on the large red hoodie. The hoodie hung largely passed my butt and the sleeves were too large for my small arms. I guessed it belonged to either Paul or Jared as it had the La Push High emblem on it but I didn't care too much as it warmed me. I hung the towel over the shower rod before walking out of the bathroom.

"Why are you an idiot?" Paul asked from the couch. I sat on the loveseat and sat Indian-style as they all awaited my answer.

"I kissed Embry." I fiddled with the ends of the sleeves as they all looked at me.

"Didn't you just get out of a relationship?" Paul asked. I nodded. "And you kissed another boy?" I nodded again. "What happened to 'Boys have cooties'?" He joked.

"Well, they do but they're also nice kissers." I teased. "And the only place they have cooties is in their-" He cut me off.

"Gross, no." He gagged and stood up. "Call me when this conversation is over." He walked to the door.

"So how exactly are you an idiot?" Emily asked.

"I kissed him and I shouldn't have."

"Why shouldn't you have?" Sam asked from beside Emily.

"Because now he feels something for me and I don't return those my feelings." I frowned. "And today I hurt him when I told him our kiss meant nothing to me."

"You're not an idiot." Emily declared. "You're just a teenager. You're making mistakes and learning from them, it's all a part of growing up."

"Does growing up always feel this bad?" I pouted.

"Sometimes worse." She chuckled. I laughed a little and snuggled into the couch.

She was right- she rarely wasn't. But I hated the guilt I felt for what I did to Embry. Deep down I knew part of why I kissed him was because I was lonely and because I missed Emmett. I hated myself for ruining my friendship with Embry because my stupid heart longed for my stupid ex-boyfriend. The guilt was eating at me and I need to find a way to make it up to Embry- that's if he still wanted to talk to me.