caluminthehood: hey mike

cliffoconda: hi calum

caluminthehood: is he okay?

cliffoconda: i don't think he's been okay for a while
cliffoconda: but you know you're allowed to talk to him right?

caluminthehood: i know
caluminthehood: i wanted to talk to you

cliffoconda: why?

caluminthehood: i just think that we shouldn't hate each other??
caluminthehood: you're ash's best friend, i'm his boyfriend
caluminthehood: we shouldn't fight

cliffoconda: i suppose your right

caluminthehood: you're**
caluminthehood: sorry
caluminthehood: i'm gonna go talk to him

cliffoconda: okay
cliffoconda: bye

caluminthehood: bye

[ cliffoconda is offline ]

[ caluminthehood left the chat ]

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caluminthehood: hi ash
caluminthehood: how are you feeling?

astroash: well they finally let me leave the hospital

caluminthehood: that's good

astroash: i guess
astroash: but i'm on suicide watch, so i'm not allowed to be alone
astroash: which means mike is now my nanny
astroash: it sucks, but that's what i get for not being able to deal with my emotions
astroash: i feel so stupid

caluminthehood: it's not your fault, my love
caluminthehood: mike is a great friend for doing that for you

astroash: he is
astroash: these stitches are so ugly
astroash: and i wish you were here with me

caluminthehood: i want the same thing ash
caluminthehood: and i promise i'd be there if i could be

astroash: i know
astroash: your life doesn't revolve around me
astroash: you have a job and a precious little dog

caluminthehood: who misses you dearly by the way
caluminthehood: he hasn't stopped whining since you left

astroash: that's cute

caluminthehood: yeah it's cute
caluminthehood: until it wakes you up at 4am
caluminthehood: just because he can

astroash: sorry

caluminthehood: you have nothing to apologize for baby
caluminthehood: you're perfect

astroash: i'm a complete fucking mess

caluminthehood: so am i
caluminthehood: i felt so bad when mike told me what you did
caluminthehood: you've got no idea, ashton
caluminthehood: i thought he was lying, but when i realized he wasn't, i felt awful
caluminthehood: you told me it wasn't my fault, but part of it was

astroash: it wasn't you calum

caluminthehood: just let me say this, okay?

astroash: fine

caluminthehood: i shouldn't have said those things to you
caluminthehood: any of it
caluminthehood: nothing that happened to you was your fault
caluminthehood: and i should've known better than to push you

astroash: it's okay
astroash: it wasn't just what you said to me
astroash: i haven't been feeling well for a long time
astroash: and i know i should've said something to you, but i didn't want to seem weak

caluminthehood: you wouldn't seem weak for telling me how you feel
caluminthehood: i hate myself for making you think that it makes you weak to express your feelings

astroash: i promise, none of this has anything to do with you
astroash: it's just
astroash: before i...
astroash: hurt myself
astroash: nick kept texting me
astroash: i hate him so much

caluminthehood: ashton

astroash: please don't be angry at me
astroash: i can't take it

caluminthehood: i'm not angry at you
caluminthehood: i'm angry at myself
caluminthehood: baby you're supposed to talk to me about stuff like that
caluminthehood: i can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong

astroash: i know
astroash: i know i know i know
astroash: i'm sorry
astroash: it just
astroash: it hurts so much

caluminthehood: i understand my love
caluminthehood: but i have a question for you, and i need you to answer honestly, okay?

astroash: sure cally
astroash: whatever you want

caluminthehood: why didn't you block him before?
caluminthehood: when he bothered you before this

astroash: i dunno
astroash: i guess i thought he'd leave me alone cause i was finally happy with you

caluminthehood: do you remember when he texted you last

astroash: when i told you that mikey was calling me
astroash: that was a lie
astroash: it was because he texted me

caluminthehood: is he blocked now

astroash: yeah
astroash: but can we please stop talking about this

caluminthehood: of course
caluminthehood: i'm sorry

astroash: i'm sorry too

caluminthehood: why are you sorry my love

astroash: i'm a baby

caluminthehood: you're not a baby
caluminthehood: you're so strong and amazing
caluminthehood: and so beautiful even though you refuse to believe it

astroash: i love you so much

caluminthehood: i love you too bunny
caluminthehood: fuck i'm so sorry
caluminthehood: i'm such an idiot

astroash: it's okay calum
astroash: it's not the name that bothers me, it's the person who said it
astroash: you can call me that
astroash: it's really weird, but it makes me feel better coming from you

caluminthehood: okay

astroash: i don't want you to think you're walking on eggshells

caluminthehood: i don't

astroash: i'm not gonna break down and cry over every little thing that happens
astroash: at least i don't think

caluminthehood: i have been there
caluminthehood: wait
caluminthehood: what time is it for you baby

astroash: i don't know
astroash: i don't even know what day it is
astroash: oh
astroash: it's late
astroash: i'll go

caluminthehood: okay
caluminthehood: get some sleep my love
caluminthehood: and please text me when you're awake

astroash: i will
astroash: i love you ❤

caluminthehood: i love you too ashton ❤

[ astroash is offline ]

[ caluminthehood is offline ]

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my heart can't handle

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