astroash: we landed baby
astroash: i'm not dead yet

caluminthehood: i'm really glad
caluminthehood: gAAAASPPPP

astroash: what

caluminthehood: hopped off the plane at lax

astroash: NO

caluminthehood: with a dream and a cardigan

astroash: i'm too tired for this cal

caluminthehood: welcome to the land of fame excess
caluminthehood: aM i gOnNa fIt iN

astroash: i hate this

caluminthehood: jumped in the cab
caluminthehood: here i am for the first time

astroash: no

caluminthehood: look to my right and i see the Hollywood sign

astroash: ughh

caluminthehood: this is all so crazy
caluminthehood: everybody seems so fAmOuS

astroash: i see now that i can't stop you

caluminthehood: my tummy's turnin' and i'm feelin' kinda homesick
caluminthehood: too much pressure and i'm nervous

astroash: when will this end

caluminthehood: that's when the taxi man turned on the rADiO
caluminthehood: and the Jay-Z song was on
caluminthehood: and the Jay-Z song was on
caluminthehood: and the Jay-Z song was OOoOn

astroash: y'know what
astroash: SO I PUT MY HANDS UP

caluminthehood: THEY'RE PLAYIN MY SONG

astroash: AND THE BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY

caluminthehood: nODDIN' MY HEAD LIKE YEAH

astroash: MOVIN' MY HIPS LIKE YEAH

caluminthehood: I GOT MY HANDS UP

astroash: THEY'RE PLAYIN' MY SONG

caluminthehood: YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE OKAY

astroash: yeEeAHh iTs a PARTy iN thE USA

caluminthehood: yEEeAHh iTs a PARTy iN tHe USA
caluminthehood: thank you for doing that with me

astroash: i hate that song
astroash: but i love you so

caluminthehood: ashy i miss you

astroash: i miss you too baby boy

caluminthehood: i wish you didn't have to go

astroash: i know angel

caluminthehood: i want your hugs and kisses 🥺😖

astroash: didn't you get enough last night

caluminthehood: no
caluminthehood: i never get enough kisses from you
caluminthehood: and you said we would go slow, but it didn't last long enough

astroash: we did go slow
astroash: did i hurt you?

caluminthehood: of course not
caluminthehood: i kinda wish you would've though

astroash: no
astroash: last night was about showing you how much you mean to me
astroash: and hurting you is the opposite

caluminthehood: but i like it rough

astroash: i know

caluminthehood: i think i'm realizing i've got a pain kink

astroash: you think you're realizing that you've got a pain kink?

caluminthehood: yeah

astroash: are you joking

caluminthehood: no...

astroash: how are you just realizing??

caluminthehood: uh

astroash: "daddy please hit me again"

caluminthehood: shuhshsheheh

astroash: "harder daddy, hurt me please"

caluminthehood: i-

astroash: what do you have to say to that

caluminthehood: well i love it when you spank my ass and shit but i mean-
caluminthehood: i want you to slap me in the face

astroash: oh my

caluminthehood: with love of course 💕

astroash: god i love you

caluminthehood: throw me around, treat me like a fuck doll
caluminthehood: h u r t m e p l e a s e

astroash: yes sir

caluminthehood: it's not that different from when you slap ur dick on my tongue with love 😌

astroash: i just love that u stay using your manners like a good baby boy

caluminthehood: i ain't tryna get punished

astroash: yeah you are

caluminthehood: yeah i am
caluminthehood: 'cause the most you'll do is make me watch you please yourself
caluminthehood: and that is n o t a punishment
caluminthehood: that is a r t

astroash: i'm art???

caluminthehood: fuck yeah
caluminthehood: the way you bite your lip and throw your head back
caluminthehood: and the moans and the little whines
caluminthehood: fUCK i could cum just thinkin bout all the dirty things you say to me
caluminthehood: i fell in love with the right man for sure

astroash: are you sayin you love me 'cause of how my moans sound

caluminthehood: that's part of why i love you

astroash: well i love everything about you

caluminthehood: i love everything about you too asshole

astroash: excuse me

caluminthehood: sorry daddy
caluminthehood: actually no i'm not sorry
caluminthehood: spank me please

astroash: okaaaay but

caluminthehood: but what

astroash: i just don't like the idea of hurting you
astroash: even if it'll make you feel good
astroash: i don't wanna see bruises or scratches on your skin and know that i did it

caluminthehood: i know
caluminthehood: cause you're a good person
caluminthehood: hot, smart, funny and sweet
caluminthehood: a fucking package deal my man is

astroash: 😍😍😍
astroash: can i ask you something baby

caluminthehood: i guess

astroash: we can't be together when we're on separate sides of the world
astroash: so where would you rather be
astroash: aussie or l.a

caluminthehood: oh wow
caluminthehood: i don't know

astroash: you don't need to decide right now
astroash: i'm just curious

caluminthehood: well i don't have anyone here besides grandpa duke
caluminthehood: but i don't think he cares where we go
caluminthehood: he just really loves you and so do i

astroash: uwu
astroash: but you should pick one

caluminthehood: kwnsjdbsn
caluminthehood: when do i have to decide

astroash: sometime soon ig

caluminthehood: but why ME
caluminthehood: i'm the most indecisive human being in this world

astroash: cause i don't wanna be away from you anymore
astroash: i love you and it causes me physical pain to not be with you

caluminthehood: i too experience emotional distress when i am not in your arms
caluminthehood: but i can't decide

astroash: okay well

caluminthehood: i would live in a pile of garbage as long as you were there with me

astroash: you're so sweet angel

caluminthehood: sh u t u p

astroash: ok
astroash: guess what i found

caluminthehood: things are about to get kinky aren't they

astroash: perhaps

caluminthehood: okay show me

astroash:

caluminthehood: fuck 😳😳

astroash: but i love making love to you too

caluminthehood: wow uwu
caluminthehood: well i love being fucked but yeahh when you're gentle it's really nice

astroash: i'm sorry for when i'm too rough :(

caluminthehood: no no don't apologize it's okay
caluminthehood: i love it

astroash: i know but i feel bad when i hurt you

caluminthehood: do not apologize for that
caluminthehood: i love it so much
caluminthehood: i love being helpless underneath you
caluminthehood: i LOVE it 🥰

astroash: ok
astroash: n i never spanked you
astroash: because you didn't want me to, and i didn't wanna hurt you

caluminthehood: yes
caluminthehood: because in this house, what do we love?

astroash: consent

caluminthehood: y e s
caluminthehood: you did slap my bum
caluminthehood: but i love that so

astroash: i only recall one time
astroash: when we got our tattoos

caluminthehood: i guess
caluminthehood: idk i wish you did it more

astroash: hm
astroash: interesting

caluminthehood: kansisnsnq
caluminthehood: my brain has run out of things to say

astroash: then let me talk
astroash: i love you
astroash: like so much
astroash: and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you

caluminthehood: really?

astroash: yes calum
astroash: i wanna have a life with you
astroash: kids and a house; a future
astroash: where i get to wake up every morning to see your pretty face and kiss you and hug you and just...have you forever, as mine

caluminthehood: fuck ashton i'm gonna cry
caluminthehood: i love you so much

astroash: i just-
astroash: i never thought i'd feel this way about someone so i don't wanna screw it up

caluminthehood: 😭😫😖
caluminthehood: i think i changed my mind about something

astroash: about what?

caluminthehood: i think i do wanna get married

astroash: i'm glad sweetheart
astroash: you know i always have

caluminthehood: you look sexy as hell in suits so

astroash: ehe thank you
astroash: you know you do too

caluminthehood: yeah buuuuut

astroash: but what love?

caluminthehood: what if i didn't wanna wear a suit

astroash: wear whatever makes you feel beautiful cal
astroash: you're stunning no matter what you're wearing

caluminthehood: hjsjsnshahqjsj
caluminthehood: thank you ashy

astroash: you're welcome baby
astroash: guess what

caluminthehood: what?

astroash: you're so pretty
astroash: and it's honestly unhealthy how much i love you
astroash: like damn baby
astroash: jawline sharp enough to slit my throat

caluminthehood: uwu???
caluminthehood: like wow take my entire heart

astroash: gladly

caluminthehood: you already have it tho
caluminthehood: so congrats

astroash: thank you sir
astroash: wait wait wait
astroash: go get luke
astroash: bring him in
astroash: i'll get mikey

caluminthehood: you called me sir
caluminthehood: god fucking damnit ash
caluminthehood: you know what that does

astroash: i'm sorry cally

caluminthehood: it'll be f i n e
caluminthehood: so why do you want me to get luke

astroash: i wanna see how he and Mikey text each other
astroash: and mike won't let me touch his phone so

caluminthehood: okay fine

[ caluminthehood added hemmotional to the chat ]

[ astroash added cliffoconda to the chat ]

cliffoconda: what's up losers

hemmotional: bEEP bEEP rIcHIe

cliffoconda: ur dumb

hemmotional: i'm watching IT
hemmotional: it's probably not healthy how much i laugh during that movie
hemmotional: georgie dies
hemmotional: hysterical laughter
hemmotional: creepy library scene
hemmotional: maniacal laughter

cliffoconda: you're so weird lu

hemmotional: you are WELCOME

cliffoconda: i didn't say thanks

hemmotional: okay wait so why are we here

caluminthehood: uhh

astroash: hmm

hemmotional: scrolling up
hemmotional: scrolling up
hemmotional: gay shit gay shit kinky shit cute shit
hemmotional: obsessed ash
hemmotional: and some calum being an idiot
hemmotional: GASP
hemmotional: YOU GUYS ARE GONNA MOVE IN TOGETHER

cliffoconda: OH MY GOD YES
cliffoconda: CASHTOOOOOON

astroash: we are the superior ship

caluminthehood: we been knew sis

hemmotional: CALUM IS PREGNANT AIN'T HE

caluminthehood: wtf
caluminthehood: what makes you think i'm the bottom

cliffoconda: ashton is Daddy as fuck
cliffoconda: i don't even care
cliffoconda: sue me lu
cliffoconda: Ash is not a bottom

astroash: but i used to be

hemmotional: what in the FUCK

astroash: i don't wanna talk about it

caluminthehood: yeah and if you pressure my love into speaking about his trauma i'll shove a brick up your ass

cliffoconda: i already know but ok

caluminthehood: it's not your place to speak about it

cliffoconda: yes i know
cliffoconda: i won't say anything

hemmotional: so how is lashton doing
hemmotional: since we're being left out

astroash: lashton isn't real

hemmotional: LASHTON IS FUCKING ALIVE

astroash: no it's not

hemmotional: IN MY HEART IT IS

cliffoconda: wtf
cliffoconda: MALUM IS THE BEST BROMANCE

caluminthehood: Mikey and i over here making cool handshakes
caluminthehood: observe
caluminthehood: 🤜🏼

cliffoconda: 🤛🏼

caluminthehood: 👉🏼

cliffoconda: 👈🏼

caluminthehood: the emoji choices are horrible
caluminthehood: but i can do this
caluminthehood: 👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼👉🏼👌🏼

cliffoconda: the best thing

caluminthehood: or
caluminthehood: 🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆

hemmotional: *British narrator voice*
hemmotional: and here in their natural habits we witness
hemmotional: THE BONDING OF THE BOTTOMS

cliffoconda: rude

astroash: i'm laughing so hard

caluminthehood: YAY!1!1!!1!1!1
caluminthehood: i made daddy happy

astroash: you always make me happy angel

caluminthehood: U W U

hemmotional: so since we're here
hemmotional: which emoji represents each of us

astroash: oh that's easy
astroash: Calum = 👑

hemmotional: mikey = 🐱

cliffoconda: Ashton = ⛓

caluminthehood: and Luke is 🐧

hemmotional: i'm a penguin

astroash: yeah

hemmotional: okay fair
hemmotional: then Calum's a puppy

caluminthehood: shut UP

astroash: no
astroash: luke continue speaking

hemmotional: he ain't tell you bout it
hemmotional: W O W
hemmotional: I HAVE THE POWERRRR

cliffoconda: he-man master of the universe
cliffoconda: SCREEE

astroash: just tell me what y'all are talking about

caluminthehood: i'll say it
caluminthehood: it isn't your mf business lu

hemmotional: fine

caluminthehood: he said i'm a puppy cause i used to like pet play
caluminthehood: used to have a headspace
caluminthehood: now excuse me while i sob

astroash: no baby don't leave
astroash: and please don't cry

caluminthehood: i'm not actually gonna cry ashy
caluminthehood: i don't have time

astroash: okay
astroash: so what do you mean you used to like it

caluminthehood: i grew out of it??
caluminthehood: it was my teenaged years so
caluminthehood: i just COULDN'T

hemmotional: muke is just here chillin

cliffoconda: yuh

hemmotional: do we still need to be here
hemmotional: cause like
hemmotional: you guys are SO gay

cliffoconda: LUKE
cliffoconda: YOU ARE GAY

hemmotional: only for u mikey 😍😍

cliffoconda: sh u t u p

hemmotional: NEVER
hemmotional: YOU ARE MY PRECIOUS CUPCAKE

cliffoconda: shshsjsjsjaksn
cliffoconda: shush

hemmotional: N O

caluminthehood: can muke please adopt me
caluminthehood: you guys are honestly so cute

astroash: yeah you kinda are

caluminthehood: but we're cuter

astroash: yeah
astroash: cashton is the superior ship

caluminthehood: a fact

hemmotional: excuse you what

cliffoconda: muke is better

astroash: actually
astroash: mukeispuke

cliffoconda: I'LL COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS

astroash: try me

caluminthehood: k i t t e n

hemmotional: shut up
hemmotional: mikey is my kitten
hemmotional: MINE
hemmotional: ONLY

cliffoconda: jeez
cliffoconda: jEAlOus mUcH

hemmotional: always

caluminthehood: hey luke

hemmotional: yeah

caluminthehood: u remember that time
caluminthehood: when you wanted me to fuck you

astroash: WHAT

cliffoconda: THE

astroash: FUCK

hemmotional: wHY woULd YOu bRINg tHaT uP

caluminthehood: cause you keep bringing up my kinks

cliffoconda: give me details or give me death

caluminthehood: we were teenagers
caluminthehood: luke was gay and drunk
caluminthehood: there isn't much to tell

astroash: ok but what did he look like as a teenager

hemmotional: this is horrible
hemmotional: please stop

cliffoconda: nahnahnahnahnah
cliffoconda: don't stop
cliffoconda: i wanna see teenager luke

caluminthehood: okay hold on

astroash: ....
astroash: what is taking so long babe

cliffoconda: no way you got that many photos to look through

hemmotional: seriously wtf

caluminthehood:

caluminthehood: i had to scroll through all the photos of ashton i have

hemmotional: why do you need so many

caluminthehood: eXcUUuSE mE
caluminthehood: for having lots of pictures of the loml

astroash: eeeek
astroash: that's me
astroash: i'm the love of his life

caluminthehood: damn right

hemmotional: mikey u okay

cliffoconda: n o
cliffoconda: i still am not breathing
cliffoconda: f u ck lu
cliffoconda: L I p r I N G

astroash: calum being ba b y b oy material

hemmotional: shut up ash
hemmotional: not everything is about you and calum

astroash: yes it is

caluminthehood:

caluminthehood: hottest man alive

astroash: uh no you

caluminthehood: it's you
caluminthehood: it'll always be you
caluminthehood: look
caluminthehood:

hemmotional: woah

caluminthehood: bringing back that photo
caluminthehood: cause yes
caluminthehood: and like i said before
caluminthehood: that was an amazing night ⛓🗝🔪

cliffoconda: ok yes ashton was crafted by gods
cliffoconda: we know

hemmotional: we'd all let ashton fuck us until we couldn't walk

caluminthehood: yeah

cliffoconda: ....
cliffoconda: no comment

astroash: jesus
astroash: everyone wants me to fuck them??

caluminthehood: yes
caluminthehood: but i'm the only one who gets ashton's dick
caluminthehood: sorry mates

astroash: i was gonna say that i don't think i could but tbhhhh

caluminthehood: to be honest you can go like 5 rounds
caluminthehood: then we need a break

cliffoconda: i could've had ash's dick anytime i wanted thanks

astroash: hah no
astroash: look at how cute and innocent you were mikey
astroash:

hemmotional: the cutest human bean alive

cliffoconda: shut up i'm so ugly
cliffoconda: ugliest out of the four of us

hemmotional: cupcake you're so beautiful

astroash: you are not ugly mike

caluminthehood: you're really not

cliffoconda: why are you being so nice to me
cliffoconda: i tried to ruin your relationship

astroash: okay sure you tried to
astroash: but you didn't

caluminthehood: ashton begged me for a week to talk to him
caluminthehood: and when i finally did, i got something amazing out of it

cliffoconda: which was?

caluminthehood: a sweater

astroash: and all of my love and admiration

caluminthehood: not yet
caluminthehood: first i got the details of ashton's psychotic job

cliffoconda: ah yes

astroash: the point is
astroash: we all care about you mikey
astroash: and you are not ugly so please don't believe that

hemmotional: ashton stating facts here
hemmotional: you're very important to me sugar
hemmotional: and you're clearly the most beautiful out of all four of us

cliffoconda: ok whatever just please stop paying attention to me

hemmotional: i don't wanna
hemmotional: i like paying attention to my kitten

cliffoconda: i told you to stop

hemmotional: but baby

[ cliffoconda left the chat ]

hemmotional: ok i don't know what that was about but i need to go make sure he's okay
hemmotional: so bye

astroash: bye lu

caluminthehood: bye bye lukey

[ hemmotional left the chat ]

caluminthehood: i don't know what that was either tbh

astroash: no idea
astroash: but i'm really tired
astroash: can i go sleep

caluminthehood: okay
caluminthehood: yeah sure
caluminthehood: sleep well my love

astroash: will you try and get some rest too angel

caluminthehood: haha probably not
caluminthehood: can't sleep when you're not here with me ash

astroash: i know baby
astroash: i'm sorry

caluminthehood: don't apologize
caluminthehood: it's not your fault i have separation anxiety
caluminthehood: and i get attached way too quickly

astroash: you didn't get attached too quickly
astroash: you told me you hated for like our first 20 conversations
astroash: then we were good for about 7
astroash: then you hated me for about 5 more
astroash: then i gave you a sweater and the rest is history

caluminthehood: i never e v e r hated you Ashton
caluminthehood: i thought you were a little weird
caluminthehood: and a horny mess
caluminthehood: but i never hated you

astroash: stawp
astroash: ya gonna make me blush baby

caluminthehood: good

astroash: 🥺🥺🥺

caluminthehood: ok go sleep
caluminthehood: i love you so so so much
caluminthehood: and please text me when you're awake cause i'm a clingy bitch

astroash: i love you too angel
astroash: i will

caluminthehood: ❤️

astroash: ❤️

[ astroash is offline ]

[ caluminthehood is offline ]

-

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG

HIGH SCHOOL

but mine and Lazulii1 's concert is in 4 days

we're gonna see tcs and 5sos and i am not emotionally prepared

so how y'all doing??

and take this photo as my final sign off

-