"Ash, I really don't wanna leave." Calum pouted as he stared sadly into Ashton's eyes.

Ashton brought the boy in for a tight hug, smiling fondly. "I know, baby. I don't want you to leave either."

"I'm gonna miss you." Calum whispered into Ashton's hoodie, still clinging to the older lads waist.

"I'll miss you too, angel."

This morning had gone by much too quickly, in both Calum's and Ashton's opinion. They had refused to get out of bed for a long time, which meant they had less time to shower and ended up showering together (they didn't really mind, because they got to wash each others hair and share soft kisses under the water).

Truthfully, Calum was glad that nothing else had happened in the shower between them. He loved being Ashton's baby boy, but he also loved just being Ashton's baby. Where he got to be hugged and kissed and showered with compliments instead of being fucked so hard he couldn't move. (He loved that too, but that was beside the point.)

He loved how when Ashton just held him, everything was okay. He loved how when Ashton kissed him, the world seemed to disappear. He loved that when Ashton complimented him, he didn't have any trouble believing it. He loved how comforting it was to have Ashton's arms around his waist, or Ashton's hands in his hair. He knew he was so lucky to have him, and he never wanted to let go.

But because of the sweet kisses and mumbled compliments in the shower while they washed each others bodies, they hardly had time for breakfast. And because of the endeavours the night before (which had lasted many hours and resulted in both hardly being able to move), Calum had to rush to pack quite a bit of his stuff in the morning.

Calum simply sighed and buried his face in Ashton's chest, inhaling the mans scent. It was so comforting, and Calum didn't think he could let go. His hands still clinging to the older lads hips, he felt tears form in his eyes. He felt stupid for crying, but he could tell that he wasn't the only sad one.

Ashton's arms were tight (but not painfully so) around his neck, playing with his raven-coloured curls. He didn't want to let his angel go, he didn't know what to do with himself if he didn't have Calum to take care of.

If he didn't have Calum there to cuddle with him, he didn't think he could fall asleep. If his baby boy wasn't there to be fed, Ashton probably wouldn't eat at all. If Calum wasn't there to be spoiled and pampered and treated like the precious little prince he was, Ashton wasn't sure he would take care of himself. Calum was his reason for doing everything; Calum was the reason he hadn't given up yet.

Calum didn't want to go back. Nowhere felt like home if it wasn't with Ashton. He made him feel safe and cared for and special. Calum liked feeling those things. He liked feeling worth it and admired, and he liked being smiled at for no reason and kissed like there was no one watching. He liked waking up at 3am to find a strong pair of arms around his waist and to know that he wasn't alone anymore.

He loved how Ashton didn't talk down to him; he loved being treated like an equal, not an idiot. He loved the long, meaningful conversations about anything and everything; he loved the silences between them where they could just hold each other and everything would be fine.

Calum tried to silence his thoughts and temporarily block out the memories that were bringing tears to his eyes. He slowly lifted his face from Ashton's sturdy chest, staring into his pretty eyes. He had to pull away, because if he didn't, he probably wouldn't ever.

Ashton cupped the boy's chubby cheeks in his large hands. "Promise that you'll text whenever you need something. I don't care what you need or what time it is, I'll answer."

"Okay."

Calum was trying not to speak, because although it made him feel childish, tears pricked at his eyes and the more he spoke, the quicker they'd fall.

"And text me when you land, okay?"

Calum nodded his head ever so slightly.

"Please don't be sad, angel. I promise that I'll see you again."

Calum only shook his head. Holding the tears back no longer worked. He felt stupid, but a tear slipped from each eye as he tried not to look into Ashton's.

Ashton felt awful. He didn't want Calum to cry, and he really didn't want Calum to leave.

The older lad softly smiled, then gently brushed the tears from Calum's cheeks with his thumbs. "Calum-" He cooed, trying to find the boy's eyes. "Look at me, love."

Calum lifted his eyes and felt his face flush pink. Ashton's gaze found his own, and Ashton smiled, causing Calum to smile as well. Calum could be in the worst mood; angry, sad, or have almost completely given up, but Ashton's smile could save him.

"Please don't cry, darling." Ashton mumbled, maintaining eye contact that had almost stopped Calum's heart. "I promise this isn't goodbye."

"It sure feels like it." Calum whispered, unable to pry his eyes away from Ashton's.

The honey-haired lad pulled Calum towards him, pressing a gentle kiss to the boys forehead. "It's not. Promise."

They stared at each other for another few agonizingly long moments before Calum finally spoke up again: "Just kiss me, please."

Ashton nodded as a smile took over his face. "Anything you want."

Calum leaned forward and gently connected their lips as his eyes fluttered closed. Ashton closed his eyes as well, hands tugging on Calum's hips to bring the boy closer (as if it were possible).
It was another simple, innocent and affection-filled kiss that was over almost as soon as it had started.

Calum loved every one of Ashton's kisses, but this one was much too short and entirely not enough. He was lucky to be getting kissed at all, though, so he would take what he could get.

Calum's eyes remained closed and his bottom lip started to tremble again once they pulled away. Ashton noticed this, and as a sad smile grew on his face, he ran his thumb over Calum's plump bottom lip. He smirked a little when the boys lips (on an instinct) automatically parted for him.

"No more tears, alright?" Ashton waited for Calum to meet his gaze once more. "I'm right here, angel. Please don't cry anymore."

"I-I have to leave, Ash. That's the problem. You won't always be here."

Ashton kept their eyes locked together again and placed his hand overtop of Calum's heart. "But you know I'm always gonna be right here."

Calum didn't reply. He simply stuck his face in the crook of Ashton's neck and let out a shaky breath against his love's smooth skin. Ashton didn't expect a reply, really. He knew Calum was sad to be leaving. He himself was on the verge of tears with the thought of his baby leaving him.

"Don't wanna leave." He whispered against Ashton's neck, lips just brushing. "Please don't make me, Ash."

"I know." Ashton quietly replied, rubbing circles on the small of Calum's back. "But you have to, darling."

Calum began pressing gentle kisses to Ashton's neck, each kiss lasting longer than the one before. "No."

"Baby." Ashton mumbled sweetly. "I will see you again, I promise."

The tanned lad shook his head. "I don't want to go."

Ashton sighed and pressed another chaste kiss to Calum's forehead. "I'll see you soon, love."

"I know, but I'm really gonna miss you." He shook his head at himself. "I-I'm being stupid, sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. You're not being stupid, you're being cute."

Calum blushed, and Ashton felt the heat from his face on his own neck. "I'm not cute."

"You are."

They locked eyes as Calum's flight was called. They were both dreading this moment, but deep down they knew it had to happen.

Calum pulled out of Ashton's grip and sent him a small smile. "I have to leave now."

"I heard."

Ashton cupped Calum's face once more in his hands, bringing him in for a sweet kiss. "Have a safe flight, baby boy."

Calum squeaked. "Ash! You can't say that!"

"I can."

"You'll pay for that." Calum muttered, then smiled and walked away, leaving Ashton smirking in anticipation.

-

caluminthehood: okay i have landed
caluminthehood: i feel dead

astroash: i'm sorry
astroash: jet lag is that bad?

caluminthehood: no shit
caluminthehood: it's your fault for making me leave

astroash: i didn't want you to go
astroash: but you have a dog to take care of

caluminthehood: yes i know
caluminthehood: my precious baby
caluminthehood: i'm not gonna see him until tomorrow
caluminthehood: told luke that i wasn't coming back until the next day so i could have a few hours to just sit by myself and be sad

astroash: why are you going to sit and be sad?

caluminthehood: because you made me leave
caluminthehood: 😡😡😡

astroash: don't hate me
astroash: please

caluminthehood: dude i could never hate you

astroash: did you just call me dude
astroash: did i just get friend-zoned

caluminthehood: ash
caluminthehood: your dick has been inside me
caluminthehood: i couldn't friend-zone you if i tried

astroash: oh my god
astroash: you-
astroash: wow

caluminthehood: i'm just being honest
caluminthehood: 🤷‍♂️

astroash: well yeah

caluminthehood: try not to miss me too much

astroash: too late
astroash: i missed you before you even got on the plane tbh

caluminthehood: you miss my butt

astroash: i miss all of you

caluminthehood: my butt

astroash: why are you doing this?
astroash: do you want me to treat you like a piece of meat?

caluminthehood: i'm tryna prove a point

astroash: which is what

caluminthehood: i could be a prostitute

astroash: um
astroash: why would you do that?

caluminthehood: cause i can
caluminthehood: people love my body
caluminthehood: imagine what they'll think of my lips

astroash: ew no no no no stop
astroash: you're mine
astroash: and only mine

caluminthehood: ooh
caluminthehood: is ash the jealous type

astroash: fuck yes i am
astroash: and you are MINE

caluminthehood: 😍😍

astroash: you're the type to see how far you can push me before i get really fucking angry

caluminthehood: well daddy
caluminthehood: i think it's working

astroash: mhm

caluminthehood: it's not like i'll actually become a hooker
caluminthehood: have some faith in me ash
caluminthehood: my god

astroash: i know you wouldn't
astroash: i just like seeing your reaction to my anger

caluminthehood: which is never different
caluminthehood: you always just swear at me until i give up

astroash: no

caluminthehood: yes

astroash: no

caluminthehood: yes

astroash: you're being childish

caluminthehood: you're responding to someone who's being childish

astroash: 😡😡😡😡😡

caluminthehood: don't be angry at me
caluminthehood: i did nothing wrong

astroash: ugh you're just so pretty and perfect and omg so amazing

caluminthehood: pfftt
caluminthehood: you just typed 'omg'

astroash: oh shit

caluminthehood: ash you are never gonna live that down

astroash: nope
astroash: i sounded like a teenaged girl ew

caluminthehood: guess that makes you my teenaged girl then huh

astroash: guess so
astroash: but i have a dick
astroash: so i am not a girl

caluminthehood: a very nice dick
caluminthehood: but that doesn't mean you can't be a girl
caluminthehood: not everyone's body aligns with their mind

astroash: i know
astroash: sorry
astroash: and wow you're so weird

caluminthehood: you brought it up
caluminthehood:

astroash: captain holt
astroash: uwu

caluminthehood: he's amazing
caluminthehood: gay icon
caluminthehood: i have so many pictures of him

astroash: honestly?
astroash: me too

caluminthehood:

astroash: uwu again
astroash:

caluminthehood: bitch that ain't captain holt

astroash: you think i cant tell the difference between a gay black man and a straight white man?

caluminthehood: if they were both white, you couldn't tell
caluminthehood: it's not like it says "gay" in big bold letters on his forehead

astroash: that's not what i meant

caluminthehood: i should hope not
caluminthehood: cause i am brown
caluminthehood: that's rude

astroash: okay but you're my boyfriend
astroash: captain holt is not

caluminthehood: what does that have to do with anything?
caluminthehood: yes i am your boyfriend
caluminthehood: so what

astroash: i'm not trying to be racist

caluminthehood: i know

astroash: good

caluminthehood: can i go now?
caluminthehood: i'm really fuckin tired

astroash: yeah go get some sleep baby

caluminthehood: bye ash

astroash: goodnight angel

[ astroash is offline ]

[ caluminthehood is offline ]

-

so i am back from the dead

my apologies if it's shitty

i've got a lot of writing to do right now, and this chapter was kinda just a filler

love you

-