caluminthehood: luke
caluminthehood: i need your help with something

hemmotional: what is it

caluminthehood: there's this guy

hemmotional: it's ashton
hemmotional: i know it is
hemmotional: just say ashton

caluminthehood: fine
caluminthehood: ASHTON wants to pay for me to visit him
caluminthehood: but idk what to do

hemmotional: let me see a picture of him
hemmotional: that might help

caluminthehood: why do you need a picture of him

hemmotional: you can't date an ugly person
hemmotional: i wont allow it

caluminthehood: ashton isn't ugly
caluminthehood: i swear he was crafted by gods

hemmotional: i will be the judge of that
hemmotional: lemme see

caluminthehood: fine
caluminthehood: he's gorgeous
caluminthehood: here
caluminthehood:

hemmotional: oh wow
hemmotional: holy shit
hemmotional: damn that is a man right there
hemmotional: wait wait wait
hemmotional: he likes YOU??

caluminthehood: ouch you asshole
caluminthehood: and this is what he sent to me
caluminthehood:

hemmotional: his beauty is makin my eyeballs sweat
hemmotional: fuck he's stunning

caluminthehood: how is this helping

hemmotional: boy you'd better go get him or else i will
hemmotional: goddamn
hemmotional: i regret being mean to him

caluminthehood: help me you pre-pubescent imbecile
caluminthehood: what do i do

hemmotional: calum
hemmotional: do i need to spell it out for you
hemmotional: fuck you're so blind

caluminthehood: ....

hemmotional: my god you're an idiot
hemmotional: let me get this straight
hemmotional: or gay in your case
hemmotional: a SUPER hot guy likes you
hemmotional: offers to pay for shit for you
hemmotional: and sends you cute shit like that

caluminthehood: mhm

hemmotional: HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS
hemmotional: HOP ON THAT PLANE YOU DUMBASS
hemmotional: THEN HOP ON THAT DICK
hemmotional: GO TO HIM
hemmotional: LEAVE
hemmotional: GET SOME

caluminthehood: calm down
caluminthehood: so i guess i'll let him pay then

hemmotional: calum's got himself a sugar daddy

caluminthehood: don't call him that

hemmotional: are you tryna tell me that man doesn't have a daddy kink
hemmotional: i bet you call him daddy already
hemmotional: it's inevitable
hemmotional: cause he's gorgeous
hemmotional: SUCH daddy 🥵

caluminthehood: don't call him that
caluminthehood: he's not yours

hemmotional: not yet

caluminthehood: back off
caluminthehood: he's mine

hemmotional: booo
hemmotional: you whore
hemmotional: he's not yours either

caluminthehood: he's gonna be
caluminthehood: so back off before i have him kill you

hemmotional: go ahead
hemmotional: i hope he kills me
hemmotional: i would probably apologize for being in the way

caluminthehood: i wonder what ash would think of your reaction

hemmotional: you wouldn't

caluminthehood: oh but i would

hemmotional: don't do it

caluminthehood: too late

[ caluminthehood added ashtonofbricks to the chat ]

[ caluminthehood named the chat 'luke's a thirsty hoe' ]

hemmotional: calum
hemmotional: i'm gonna kill you

[ ashtonofbricks is online ]

ashtonofbricks: what is happening right now

caluminthehood: scroll up
caluminthehood: watch luke make a fool of himself

ashtonofbricks: ...
ashtonofbricks: i have literally no idea what i just read
ashtonofbricks: pre-pubescent imbecile
ashtonofbricks: i snorted

caluminthehood: oops

hemmotional: that's attractive

ashtonofbricks: well luke
ashtonofbricks: you've made some compelling points
ashtonofbricks: you are right to regret being mean to me
ashtonofbricks: and yes
ashtonofbricks: your observations about my kinks were correct
ashtonofbricks: congrats

hemmotional: what happens if i call you daddy

caluminthehood: r u n mate

ashtonofbricks: only calum calls me daddy

hemmotional: what will you do tho

caluminthehood: how does a bullet through the head sound

hemmotional: excellent if we're being honest
hemmotional: but only if ashton does it

ashtonofbricks: why does everyone want me to kill them

caluminthehood: i can answer that
caluminthehood: it's cause you're fucking hot
caluminthehood: and that just
caluminthehood: that's hot

ashtonofbricks: death is hot???

hemmotional: ye ye

caluminthehood: sure why not

ashtonofbricks: you two are fucking insane

caluminthehood: you liiiiike meeee
caluminthehood: it doesn't maaatteeerrr

hemmotional: i'm gonna go cry in lonely

caluminthehood: ashton
caluminthehood: idea

ashtonofbricks: what is it baby

caluminthehood: set luke up with michael

hemmotional: michaels probably ugly tho

[ caluminthehood added cliffoconda to the chat ]

cliffoconda: what's happening right now
cliffoconda: why am i here
cliffoconda: who the fuck are you callin ugly

hemmotional: wasn't me

caluminthehood: well this will be fun

ashtonofbricks: yes it will be

cliffoconda: what makes you think i'm ugly

hemmotional: i don't know
hemmotional: michael isn't a hot guy name

cliffoconda: wanna bet
cliffoconda:

hemmotional: i didn't ask for that
hemmotional: but okay fine
hemmotional: ur cute
hemmotional: like a kitten

cliffoconda: i don't bottom
cliffoconda: sorry

hemmotional: we'll see

cliffoconda: let me see you

hemmotional:

cliffoconda: oh fuck me you're so pretty
cliffoconda: i mean
cliffoconda: i'm straight

hemmotional: sure kitten
hemmotional: question
hemmotional: what the fuck is a cliffoconda?

caluminthehood: no idea

ashtonofbricks: it's what he calls his dick
ashtonofbricks: referring to an anaconda snake which is inherently large in size

hemmotional: pfffttt
hemmotional: that's ridiculous
hemmotional: and highly inaccurate im sure

cliffoconda: you're just gonna have to find out

hemmotional: whats the 'cliff' from

ashtonofbricks: his last name is clifford

cliffoconda: why don't you just tell him my favourite ice cream flavour while you're at it
cliffoconda: jesus ash stop exposing me

ashtonofbricks: rocky road
ashtonofbricks: and i'm not exposing you
ashtonofbricks: you're exposing yourself by responding to these things

cliffoconda: i'm leaving

ashtonofbricks: okay

hemmotional: message me kitten

cliffoconda: maybe

[ cliffoconda has left the chat ]

[ hemmotional has left the chat ]

caluminthehood: they are in love
caluminthehood: it's called Muke
caluminthehood: i ship it

ashtonofbricks: you're a dork

caluminthehood: yeah okay i'm not done yet tho
caluminthehood: gahh
caluminthehood: kitten is such a cute nickname

ashtonofbricks: i will remember that
ashtonofbricks: what are we called

caluminthehood: chaotic gays??

ashtonofbricks: sksks no
ashtonofbricks: i mean
ashtonofbricks: whats our ship name

caluminthehood: cashton of course

ashtonofbricks: you're so fucking cute

caluminthehood: 🙃🙃

ashtonofbricks: what time is it for you baby

caluminthehood: it's late
caluminthehood: i'll go

ashtonofbricks: are you sure?

caluminthehood: you're asking cuz you want me to leave

ashtonofbricks: i'm asking because i care about you and i know how much you treasure sleep

caluminthehood: in that case
caluminthehood: awe
caluminthehood: but yeah it's late i should go

ashtonofbricks: okay
ashtonofbricks: goodnight my love

caluminthehood: goodnight ashton

[ caluminthehood is offline ]

[ ashtonofbricks is offline ]

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