Aka Lif monologues and reminisces while killing some guys. Seriously there's like barely any dialogue in this so it's very different than what I normally do

Word Count: 1572

THIRD PERSON POV

"Oh Alfonse…"

Sometimes Lif wondered. He rarely did so, as the majority of his thoughts always lead to his past family and life. He hated thinking about them.

The night was almost silent. Heavy footsteps boomed through the small hallway of the Askr castle, his spiked deer skull shaped shoulder pad scratching the plaster walls with each step he took.

Working for Hel; was it really as bad as he had believed it to be? His brain yelled at him 'yes'. She had lied to him and betrayed him for fucks sake, what reason could he possibly have to return working for such a despicable woman? Serves him right for trusting the literal embodiment of death.

Perhaps he'd grown soft during his stay in this world. Maybe seeing his past self alive, and with her…

An aching feeling gnawed at his chest. The blue haired man sighed; He didn't know why he was thinking about this now. Maybe it was because if he had stayed loyal to this undead goddess, he wouldn't have the displeasure of experiencing these sick feelings.

Flashes of crimson droplets and screams of horror tormented his head. Lif groaned, neon red eyes twitching in irritation. All of these memories returning at such speeds were beginning to make him physically ill

His hands gripped tighter at his sword, Sökkvabekkr, which glowed brightly in the pitch black hall. A purple sheen had masked the darkened metal, stained with blood from past foes and innocents. If his hands weren't plated in armor, it'd be impossible to not notice his knuckles turning white.

Lif stood at the entrance to the royal bedroom, hands clenched and head held up high. The door was elegant; painted navy blue wood mixed with golden furnishings on the corners and handle. 

As he opened the door, he thought about the day that started this downhill spiral. He should've been the one to die back then. Watching them all perish, heartbeat by heartbeat, with his own two eyes. Even his little sister. And his summoner. His lover.

It was painful now. He saw their faces every day now, smiling and laughing. They still tried to befriend him every now and then. Alfonse, Sharena, Anna, everyone. They all told him lies and gave him false hope about saving his own people.

He knew their words were unjust, just hopeful deceptions trying to brainwash him into believing he had a chance to save them. Lif laughed silently to himself as he remembered Hel's promise. 

What a fool she had made out of him before (he still laughed at the memory).

The door was unlocked. A loud creaking noise filled the room, but neither did budge at the irritating sound.

Alfonse opened his eyes to see his future self stand before him, an immaculate bloodlust filling his pupils. Lif didn't speak a word.

The young and now awake prince yawned, before groggily speaking. "Lif? What are you-"

It just wasn't fair.

The radiance of his sword only shined brighter as it lodged itself into the chest of the young boy. One stab was enough to end the unsuspecting one.

Amidst Alfonse's quick suffering, a lost memory returned to the lethal swordsman that stood; Fragments of past times.

The sky had even been painted with a light orange and streaks of pink as the sun slowly made its descent. Her arms were wrapped around his torso. He could practically still feel her soft touch, her gentle voice saying sweet nothings. She was humming a tune, a light blush on her cheeks. With her eyes closed, she opened her lips to speak three words. Lif couldn't remember them. But just the idea of the summoner speaking to him was enough to keep him going. 

Lif's eyes darted away from the body that now lied still. Returning thoughts continued to drift around his calm mind. While he had been eternally grateful that the summoner existed, despite her being from another world, she just wasn't the same. The girl who once lovingly embraced and praised him now almost cowered in fear whenever he walked by. This wasn't unnatural in any way, most people did when they saw his terrifying armor and deathly glare. 

He prayed to any and all the gods above that it was untrue. The summoner couldn't actually be afraid of him, right? Deep down inside, he knew the answer. But Lif didn't want to listen. 

In all honesty, he didn't want to kill this Alfonse. This Alfonse was just a young child, he couldn't have known any better.

Granted Lif was the same age when he had pledged his life to Hel and vowed revenge. The tiny part of Lif's heart that he hadn't smothered under his foot made him think. Did Alfonse truly deserve this? All he had done was befriend the summoner. 

H̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶u̶m̶m̶o̶n̶e̶r̶.̶

Lif shook his head in disgust. Lif was selfish, no point in denying it. No one knew the summoner like he did. They were together once; before her untimely demise. He was the only one who truly knew her, the only one who deserved her pure kindness and joy.

'No.' He reminded himself. This is who he was now. No longer was he Alfonse. That past had been ripped away from Lif. He had to be ruthless, show no mercy. Lif couldn't lose her again; not to Alfonse, not to anyone.

"I'm so sorry, Lif…" He could hear her words repeat like a broken record player.

Ah. Another memory.

It was one of the summoner again -- The moment right before she died. The gilded cloak she always wore fell off, blowing away in the harsh winds of the Underworld. He could see her broken face, tears streaming down her cheeks.

And she smiled.

She actually smiled.

He had tried to reach out to her, fingers grasping at thin air. An echoless scream escaped, falling on deaf ears. He didn't make it.

The flashback ended. 

Staring at the corpse, he took his sword out of the body, put it back in its sheath, and exited the room. He sighed deeply.

The night remained still as Lif continued to look back at the past. 

"...How I envy you."

─────────────────────

It didn't take long for Lif to reach her room. He had been inside the room numerous times in his world.

The door creaked open, awaking nobody to the bloody man's relief. Even while sleeping, she continued to wear the worn out cloak, part of the fabric woven tightly in her fingers. Lif's eyes softened at the sight and his posture went lax. Even in slumber she was the most precious thing in the whole damn world.

He walked ever so closer to the unsuspecting girl, breath hitching as she tightened up in her sleep, before relaxing once more.

Lif lingered for a bit longer, his fingertips ghosting over the summoner's skin as if he wished to do something more...but then, it seemed the moment had passed.

Treating her body like a porcelain doll, he gently grasped under her knees and lifting them up with one hand, the other holding her by her lower back. He began to lift her off the bed

"Lif?"

He froze.

"What are you doing up so late?"

It was Sharena. She sounded exhausted, probably having just come back from late night patrol. Lif cursed himself under his breath for forgetting her patrol was this week. The girl in his arms was lowered back into her bed, Lif slowly reaching for his sheathed sword.

"And… why are you in (Y/N)'s room?"

He didn't have enough strength to kill his little sister. Besides the summoner, Sharena was the only one who genuinely cared for him. Even if it wasn't the same one he once knew, Lif simply didn't have the guts to follow through the horrendous act.

A simple knock to her head from the backside of Sökkvabekkr was more than enough to take care of her for the moment. He silently apologized to the unconscious girl laying down on the floor. Sharena would understand why he was doing this. She had to. 

Sighing, Lif turned back to the Summoner and picked her up bridal style once more, making sure she was still asleep in his arms.

Her body was light compared to the bone and iron made armor he wore, like comparing the weight of steel to a feather. 

Thankfully no one else was around to see. He smiled under the neon blue mouthguard he wore, her skin feeling like heaven under his gray fingertips. Lif walked quietly around the castle, making sure no one else could hear.

At least, any of the ones that were still alive.

The remains of numerous guards lied still at his feet, shocked faces plastered on with numerous holes and stab wounds littering their bodies. He had disposed of them hours before.

The girl murmured in her sleep, mumbling words under her breath. Lif didn't hear her clearly enough, the euphoria of holding the summoner, his summoner, in his arms overtaking the rational part of his mind.

"We're almost there, summoner." His voice was like honey when he spoke, dripping with total admiration. 

He would make sure no harm ever came to her. They would be together once again. He couldn't wait.

Lif hoped (Y/N) would too.

Just this once, he would allow himself to be happy.

"I'll take care of you now."