⋆ ☄︎. · ̊ * 🔭
chapter thirty-two
( time skip - fall, 2014 )

"Why do I have to come with you?" Ahri whines, a pout on her lips as she's trekking behind her older member, getting dragged by him.

He simply replies, "Because I said so."

"You're annoying," she huffs.

"And you're still younger than me, so shut up."

Yona gasps, clutching her chest over-dramatically with her hand. "Jin hyung said you're not allowed to be mean to me!"

"Well Jin hyung also said to stop swearing," Yoongi counters, "Guess we're both bad at listening to others."

"Don't we have like an interview later?" she asks, a small frown on her face. "We're going to be late, then."

Yoongi shakes his head, entering the grocery store in the process. "Nah. The interview is in a few hours, we still have some time left."

Yona slowly nods her head. She grabs a cart and waddles behind her member as he picks up some ingredients.

He mumbles while looking through the snacks aisle, "Grab some ramen."

She hums, already making her way to the other aisles where the packages of ramen are at.

All she does is lightly touch it, her hand brushing against the plastic. Almost all the packages fall on the ground; creating a domino effect.

Pursing her lips, she flinches while slowly but surely backing away from the scene.

That's until her back bumps into someone else's chest, causing her eyes to widen and to turn around in a defensive mode.

A smile paints her lips as she gazes at the familiar boy, sudden joy written on her face.

"I'll remember to never go to a grocery store alone with you," Jaehyun mumbles with a smile, bobbing his head to the side.

Nevertheless, he picks up all of the packages and neatly places them on the shelf once again.

Blushing because of embarrassment, she scratches the back of her head, an awkward chuckle escaping her. "Yeah."

He spins around as soon as he's finished, smiling widely. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing much, actually," she responds, shrugging her shoulders. "Me and Yoongi—"

"Hey."

Speaking of the devil, Yoongi appears out of nowhere and stands next to Yona, catching her off guard.

"Oh, hey," Jaehyun greets him back, a nervous smile still adorning his handsome face.

There's a sudden silence as soon as the older member joins the duo, Yona and Jaehyun sighing awkwardly while looking anywhere but at themselves.

Yoongi glances in between the younger ones while he hides his mischievous smile. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No!" both of them are quick to respond, unintentionally raising their voices, their cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Jaehyun stammers after clearing his throat, "I, um. She dropped some ramen, and, yeah."

"And I wanted to ask," he continues, slowly moving his eyes to the girl. "If you would like to go out with me and eat something."

His eyes widen, stuttering, "With Seojun hyung, o-of course."

Her cheeks are kissed by the sun, burning. "Y-Yeah, of course—"

"What about you come to our house and eat with all of us?" Yoongi interrupts, his eyes holding many sparks of mischief. "I bet the boys would love to fully get to know you."

"How old are you again?" he asks, tilting his head to the side while gazing at the flustered boy.

Jaehyun scratches the back of his head. "I'm 16."

"I thought you were a year older than me!" Ahri states, her eyes widening. "You told me that!"

"Guess you weren't the only one who lied," he counters with a slight smile, shrugging. "I'm the same age as you."

"That's just perfect!" Yoongi chimes in, clasping his hands together. "Jeongguk is 16 as well!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she irritatedly whispers while harshly elbowing her member.

But he completely ignores her, smiling widely. "Then it's settled. Be at our house at 6:00 pm sharp!"

Before Jaehyun could respond or disagree, Yoongi grabs his member's wrist and drags her outside.

As soon as her friend is out of sight, she yells, "What was that?"

"Do you really think that we would let you go out with Jaehyun? Alone?" he states, raising his left eyebrow.

An unbelievable expression plasters her face, her mouth gaping open. She stammers with a blush, "H-He just wanted to eat something with me!"

"But do you just want to eat something?" her member retorts, smirking slightly. "I've been 16 as well and experienced the same hormones that you do right now—"

"Ew, stop," she replies in disgust, her face scrunching.

He sighs loudly, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "I'm just doing this for your own good. You're still an idol, you know? If you're seen with him once, people will immediately assume things and create rumors about you. It's bad for your image."

"Well, I don't care about my 'image,'" she responds, holding her hands up in the air to create quotations marks.

He's quick to add, "It's bad for the image of our whole group."

She looks down in defeat; her head hanging low, shoulders slumped. A soft sigh escapes her. "Okay," she mumbles while nibbling on her bottom lip.

Yoongi feels bad about his insensitive words and behavior towards his female member. So he comforts her by laying his hand on her shoulder, sighing to himself.

"I'm sorry, Yona," he sincerely states, his voice almost below a whisper. "But this is your life now."

"It's fine." She slowly looks back up, a sad smile on her lips. "It's what I signed up for. Besides, what would happen between Jaehyun and me anyway? Nothing."

Her member knows that her words aren't genuine and that she doesn't actually mean anything that just left her mouth.

Nevertheless, he tries to lighten her mood with anything possible. "You wanna go sit on the cart when we go back inside?"

Unhurriedly nodding her head, she sighs while keeping the sad smile on her face, still grateful for the attempt of Yoongi to make her feel better.

Ahri mumbles, "Yeah, sure."

"Yeah, sure," Seokjin replies, nodding his head in agreement. "I'd love to get to know him, actually."

"Me too!" Hoseok joins the conversation with a smile. "I wanna know who my little member has a crush on," he beams while ruffling her hair.

"I don't have a crush on him!" she states exasperatedly. "He's just coming to spend some time with me."

Taehyung changes the subject with a blank expression, "When will our interview end?"

"I think in two hours or something," Namjoon responds, lightly patting the brush on his face in the process.

Jeongguk joins their conversation. He beams, "I still can't believe that our first real album will be released."

"We worked hard for it," Jimin states with a sigh. "I hope it's all worth it in the end."

Yona nods her head in agreement, nibbling on her bottom lip. "It would be a waste of everything if it doesn't. Waste of time, waste of running away from home, waste of money, waste of power, waste of strength—"

Hoseok cuts her off by firmly laying his hand on top of her mouth, resulting her to shut up immediately. "We're going to stay positive, okay?"

"Fine," she mumbles, rolling her eyes while jerking away from him to speak again.

Wiggling his eyebrows, he teasingly adds, "Plus, Jaehyun wouldn't want you to be negative, right?"

"I will literally shove my shoe down your throat," she states in Spanish with a deadpanned face.

"What?" he asks in confusion, his brows furrowed, creating a deep frown.

An innocent smile paints her lips. Her eyes crinkle at the ends as her smile enlarges, slowly shaking her head. "Nothing."

He exclaims loudly while pointing at her, "This is unfair!"

"Life's unfair," she quotes in a nonchalant tone, standing up and making her way outside of the room.

A few minutes pass as Ahri is waiting outside for her other members to finally arrive for the interview.

Namjoon is the first one to come outside. "Let's go now," he mumbles while leading the way to the room.

After all of the other members follow their leader, they sit down on stools, which are placed around a round table. Many small microphones are positioned right in front of the seats.

The interviewers greet them, resulting the group to do their normal introduction for themselves.

They begin to talk as they're being asked many different questions, Ahri only opening her mouth if she's being talked to.

"So, what's your ideal type?" the interviewer asks, glancing in between every single member.

Namjoon chuckles lightly, speaking up first. "I kind of get attached to girls who have a nice voice. I don't know, I think it's really attractive." He sighs softly, thinking. A few seconds later, he adds, "I also like girls who are tall and look good in a simple white shirt. I don't like when they smoke or go clubbing, though."

"I agree with the nice voice," Yoongi interferes, nodding his head. "But I'm more into girls who have a nice voice when they're rapping. Or if she's simply interested in music like I am. I wouldn't like it if she says that I won't spend any time with her since I'm really busy with my music." He chuckles while clicking his tongue. "For me, music is more important right now, that's why I wouldn't like it if she's against me producing and writing."

Hoseok nods his head in agreement, adding, "I think we're all really busy with our music and practice in general. When I love someone, I love them really deeply. That's why I want it to be returned. I want to have someone who loves me as much as I love her."

"Agreed," Yona states, pointing at him. "Our career is in the foreground right now, that's why we don't really have time for love."

"But we can still imagine, you know." Jimin laughs, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "I really like girls who are cute. And since I'm not that tall, I would like my future girlfriend to be smaller than me." He adds, "I'm simply into 'girly-girls'. Like pink colors for make-up, an innocent look, wearing pastel colors and stuff like that."

"I'm quite the opposite, to be honest," Taehyung chimes in. "I'm really interested in tall girls with long, smooth hair. But I don't focus that much on their appearance." He tilts his head to the side, being careful over his words. "I want her to spend her money carefully. For example, I give her some money and say, 'I give you this money. You can buy the stuff you want.' Later on, I judge her from the way she spends the money."

"But his ideal type changes every month." Namjoon laughs, patting his shoulder.

Taehyung giggles as a response, shrugging his shoulders. Seokjin opens his mouth after he notices that his younger member is done talking, "I love to cook, so I would like if my future wife or girlfriend could cook nicely as well. I think that cooking is a great way of bonding. And I also wouldn't like a girl who isn't naturally sweet or nice. If she treats people badly, then I wouldn't want her."

The interviewer nods his head understandingly. "So your ideal types are quite different. What about the two maknaes, though? They haven't really said anything."

Jeongguk and Ahri's eyes widen, looking down and scratching their heads in shyness.

"Um," the male member begins. "I like a girl who can teach me new things. A girl who can help me with things that I'm not able to do. Smart girls are my weakness. I'm quite impressed by a girl who can bring up a theory and teach me something."

"I'm really into people with an intellectual mind as well," Yona adds, nodding her head. "I don't really have an ideal type when it's about their appearance since I don't focus on the physical parts of a person anyway. For me, the most important thing is their way of thinking."

A shy laugh escapes her as she states, "I think it was called sapiosexual."

"What does that mean?" Taehyung asks with a frown on his face, listening intently.

She hums before answering, "It means that someone is attracted to intelligence. Literally when you're attracted to someone's brain."

His eyebrows raise in surprise, nodding his head. Jeongguk chuckles sheepishly while pointing at her, "Look, I learned something new!"

"So you would say that Ahri is your ideal type?" the interviewer asks teasingly, trying to get some information to make it spicier. "Because you just said that. So you like your member in a romantic way? For how long?"

A blush paints Jeongguk's cheeks, going in patterns. He's swift to shake his head. "Of course, I really like her and all, but she's my member. I don't think it would work out when we're in the same group. I was literally just saying that she always teaches me new things."

As soon as Yona notices his discomfort about the question, slight anger builds in her system because of the rudeness of the interviewer. Her gaze moves to the elder, eyebrows furrowed as she breathes heavily.

"I also can't stand men who are disrespectful. I think that respect is one, if not the most, important trait in a good relationship. If someone is rude towards me, I'm not going to simply let him scream, yell or call me names without me doing anything. Sometimes, I think that partners in a relationship think that they have power over their lover, but that's just not true and the wrong way of starting a relationship. If someone thinks that way, I won't like that person."

Everyone is silent as she finishes her statement in irritation, stunned by her words. Since Hoseok sits right next to her, he lays a hand on her thigh to calm her down, smiling nervously as he gazes at the camera.

A wide smile spreads over her face as she exclaims while clasping her hands peacefully, "That's all about my ideal type."

"And did you already find your ideal type?" the interviewer asks irritatingly, wanting more interesting answers from the group to create rumors. Simply to throw stones in their already stony way.

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, tilting her head to the side while responding, "I already said that I'm really busy with my music—"

"Oh, because I saw some pictures of you with two other boys. You looked pretty close with them. Especially the one with brown hair," he swiftly cuts her off.

A victorious smirk is plastered on his face as he notices her sudden discomfort; her cheeks turning a light shade of red.

As no words leave the girl, the boys are ready to answer and defend her, Namjoon being the quickest to say, "She doesn't have a boyfriend. Those two boys are her close friends, whom she knew before we started this group."

"Interesting," the interviewer hums. "I'll be happy if your relationship with them isn't going to break or anything," he mumbles, not meaning any of his insincere words.

"What do you mean?" she asks, her lips forming into a small pout, not understanding his words.

Nothing but evil sparks let his eyes shine. "Since you're a K-Pop Idol, it's really risky to have guy friends. Many Idols had to stop being close with their friends—"

"I think that's our business," Yoongi swiftly cuts him off as he notices the sadness in his younger member's face.

The interviewer holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying. Anyway, your album is coming up—"

Ahri doesn't listen to his further sayings, isolating herself completely.

Just thinking about losing her two good friends causes shivers to run down her spine. Her thoughts begin to swirl and turn once again, creating a headache, which runs in patterns.

Falling into a victim of overthinking doesn't just kill your happiness, it destroys who you are; your soul, heart, mind.

The mind is a beautiful and complex thing, and the only person who can hurt it is yourself.

"Hyung, is the food ready?"

"No! Don't sit on the couch, you'll destroy it!"

"I just cleaned the bathroom, don't use it!"

"Come out of your studio!"

"Stop putting the forks into your nose!"

"Stop being so shy and come here now!"

"Oh, my god! It's so messy in here!"

Yoongi slaps the back of Ahri's head, causing her loud mouth to finally shut. "Shut the fuck up, Ahri! You're just stressing everyone!"

"Stop swearing at her, Yoongi!" Seokjin scolds from the kitchen.

But the said person simply shakes his head while rolling his eyes. He heaves a sigh. "Look, I don't get why this is so important to you, but you need to chill."

Ahri breathes heavily, her head moving from side to side to check if the whole dorm is really clean. "I am chill," she mumbles, looking behind him.

There is a tenseness to her muscles that make her more like a mannequin than a girl of flesh and bone.

Her older member mutters something aside, annoyed by her attitude. He stops her actions by putting both of his hands on either side of her head, making her look at him with big eyes.

He prolongs each word as he says, "You need to chill. He is simply coming for dinner."

His voice remains as soft and warm as early spring, attempting to calm down his female member.

With a sigh, she nods her head and slumps onto the couch, cold sweat splattered on her forehead.

The tension of earlier is gone, her face no different than if she's watching television.

She closes her eyes and lets her limbs fall loose, head tilting backward, indenting the soft cushion. Her lips remain still, resulting a sigh of relief to escape every single one of her members, standing next to a proud Yoongi by now.

But as soon as the doorbell rings, she storms away from them, knocking some out of her way. "I'll get it!"

Before she opens the door, she halts, fixing her hair while sighing to relax herself. A smile paints her lips as soon as she sees the two familiar faces in front of her.

They immediately rush to engulf her joyfully, hugging her entire soul as they do so. "Hey," she mumbles, her mouth coming out muffled since she's buried in their chests.

"Hello!" Seojun smiles happily, a wide smile plastered on his perfectly sculpted face.

Jaehyun pulls away with a smile that simply radiates all positive emotions squeezed in a small ball. "Hi," he beams.

Someone clearing his throat causes them to slowly avert their attention from each other and focus it on her members.

Everyone clears their throats after the other one is done, creating a domino effect as they do so.

An annoyed expression is on Ahri's face because of their attitude. She lazily waves her hand at them. "Bangtan, meet Seojun." She points at the smiling, yet slightly intimated boy. "And Jaehyun." Her hand moves towards the other nervous boy.

"We already know Seojun," Seokjin starts, tilting his head to the side as he critically examines the two nervous boys.

He moves closer, so does every other member. A warm smile builds on Seokjin's face, extending his hand towards Seojun first. "Hey."

"Wow, you're tall," Jimin mumbles, looking up at Seojun, who chuckles as a response while casting his gaze downward.

After they're done with greeting Seojun, the tall boy heaves a relieved sigh, quickly moving out of the way, leaving an awkward Jaehyun behind.

Her members squint their eyes at the flustered boy, whose ears are already a dark shade of red.

They take slow steps towards him, analyzing his entire existence with their critical eyes, hands on their chins like professionals.

Yoongi moves forward first, a small smile on his face. He extends his hand in a friendly way while saying, "We already know each other. I'm Yoongi, but you can call me hyung."

"O-Okay," Jaehyun mumbles nervously, blinking many times.

Jimin scoffs while looking him up and down. He spins around and complains, "Ahri, why are all of your friends so tall?"

"Well, when she's Michael Jordan himself," Jeongguk counters, shrugging his shoulders while grinning evilly.

Yona is quick to catch on, "I'm sorry that your papa forgot to add some height while he put his—"

Her eyes widen as she casts her orbs at Seokjin, him already having a stern expression on his face. An innocent smile is on her face as she exclaims back at a mischievous Jeongguk, "I mean, I'm sorry that I'm so tall that you feel small beside me. Even though you're taller, but whatever fits your boat."

They all ignore the way she used the proverb wrong; simply appreciating the fact that her Korean has gotten much better ever since she started studying with Namjoon. 

Seokjin nods in approval, a small smile on his face, causing the ends of his full mouth to be stuffed in his puffy cheeks.

Hoseok exclaims happily as he pushes Jimin out of his way, extending his hand towards Jaehyun, "Hello! I'm Hoseok, and Yona's favorite hyung!"

Gasps fill in the room as soon as he finishes his sentence, the other members clutching their hearts while looking at a wide-eyed Ahri in betrayal.

"That's so not true!" Namjoon raises his voice. "I'm the one who gave her the notebook. She started to write because of me! Yona wrote half the songs in our upcoming album!"

"Well, actually, she wrote our songs back then as well—" Seojun chimes in while slowly raising. his hand, but he's quickly cut off as Ahri herself elbows him.

She shakes her head while looking ahead with a straight face. "I wouldn't do this if I were you."

Taehyung chuckles in high-class, crossing his arms cockily. "You guys always forget that I'm the one she knows the longest. I'm the closest to her, y'all can't keep up."

"Boy, you wish!" Jimin interferes, his face scrunched up. "She wrote me cute and encouraging texts on small notes every day, just to make me feel better. I'm her favorite hyung."

A swift sigh escapes Seokjin, clasping his hands together as he glances in between everyone. "Please, I'm the one she spends the most time with me. She's the most comfortable around me, that's why she sits next to me in all interviews. It's because I make her feel better almost all the time."

"Could you guys make her laugh as she felt bad?" Jin jerks his head forward as a proud expression is plastered on his face, his lips in a thin line. "I think not."

Yoongi massages his temples in annoyance, already sensing the headache coming. "I think that I had the biggest glow-up with her. I mean, going from most hated to most loved? Top that."

"Who the hell said that you are the most loved?" Hoseok interferes, an unbelievable expression on his face.

"Well, you see—"

Jeongguk sits down next to Ahri with a sigh, putting his arm around her shoulder comfortably. "Well, I'm not her favorite hyung, because I'm simply not her hyung, but I'm most definitely her favorite member."

"Please, you couldn't even speak to her for the first months!" Namjoon counters. "You hid from her almost all the time."

"That was because I was shy!" Jeongguk defensively holds his finger up, his ears turning red. "I'm not like that anymore—"

Without the members noticing, Yona takes the hands of her two oblivious friends with a loud sigh and drags them towards the kitchen, the table already served with many delicious meals.

"Everyday. I have to experience this every single day," she mumbles, putting the food on their tables as they sit down next to each other without saying a word.

Jaehyun chuckles lightly, looking up at her with a smile. "I think it's cool. You know, living with many other people, having roommates and all."

"I don't think you would like that," she responds, chuckling while sitting down opposite of them. "Shit's exhausting."

"I don't know," Jaehyun replies, shrugging. "I think I'll know how it feels like soon."

A confused frown is on Ahri's forehead, leaning further towards him. "What do you mean?"

He announces with a wide smile, "I got accepted by an entertainment to be a trainee."

Seojun slowly holds his hand up while mumbling, "Me too, actually."

It takes a second or two for the new information to sink it, even though it is right before her eyes, larger than life.

Then she feels her lips stretch wider into a gaping grin and her eyebrows arch for the sky.

And in the seconds that follow the two boys can feel her squeezing their arms around them and her arms reciprocating. No longer is she pixelated and two dimensional; she is warm, fragranced and soft.

"I'm so, so happy for you guys!" she beams sincerely. "I wish you the best."

Amazement doesn't quite cover it. Yona feels like someone just took her spark of wonder and poured on kerosene.

The smile she shows on the outside can't adequately reflect what she feels inside; it's like every neuron of her brain is trying to fire in both directions at once - the best kind of paralysis.

Her members clear their throats once again, resulting the trio to slowly part.

"Let's eat now, shall we?" Seokjin clasps his hands together, smiling while making his way towards them.

Happiness fills in the room as all of Yona's friends engulf each other in conversations, enjoying the calm yet joyful moments silently.

Their laughter is the summer rain and the birdsong too, and every time she hears it, no matter the weather, the sun brightens.

It is as if their sound lifts a veil from her eyes and allows her to see the world more clearly. It's funny how laughter can do that, those honest rumblings of the soul.

Hope is a bright star in a hopelessly dark universe. Through light years of distance, the brightness fills people's inner selves.

Happy is the feeling Yona has when her members radiate the positive emotion, when she knows for the rest of the day that they're all fine.

Just being near them lights her up inside, gives her a serenity she can never know without them being close.

It's like the breaths she takes aren't full when they're away, like the smiles she smiles are incomplete somehow.

Simply sitting next to them is her favorite place in the world. It's them that create the warmth in her soul, them that fills her full of love and keeps the fire burning in her eyes.

If that isn't happiness, she doesn't know what is, so she'll let it be her own definition, the one she keeps with her always.

Yona sits back and lets the joy soak right into her bones. She wants the feeling to still be there when she is old.

Reluctantly closing her eyes, she savors the moment, but never allows the genuine smile on her face to disappear.

For the first time in forever her body and mind are relaxed. At that moment there are no bad moments upon her, no anxiety and no stress to have.

She's in, she's made it, she's a winner. The winner of final peace.

It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

A sudden ringing of her phone causes her to slowly stand up, excusing herself as she leaves the laughing people to themselves.

Her forehead builds a small frown as she looks down at her phone, her eyes fixed on the unknown number.

Nevertheless, she swipes aside, accepting the call while holding the small object up to her ear.

Ahri's mouth parts as the familiar voice begins to speak, her eyes stretched widely while gulping the huge lump in her throat.

Her chocolate eyes glimmer with watery tears and she feels as if the world is about to crumble.

After gulping once again, she acknowledges with a pain-filled voice, "M-Mama?"