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chapter thirty

"Dying wouldn't feel that bad right now."

Ahri sighs while throwing herself on the hard floor, her whole body dripping with sweat from practicing too much.

The whole group works out until their skin takes on a glossy shine and the salty drops invade their eyes.

As they keep moving the sweat is a welcome addition, cooling and helping them to feel like they've worked hard. It's only when their feet come to a stop and that the blowing wind shows them just how wet their clothing has become.

"Agreed." Jimin breathes heavily as he dries his sweaty forehead with a towel, which is wrapped around his neck.

"We need to practice a bit more," Hoseok mumbles while making his way to the girl's dead-looking body.

He takes hold on both of her hands, trying to pull her body up, but her stubborn self resists to lay on the cold floor.

"Get up, Ahri!" Hoseok orders in devastation, trying to pull her up with all his might.

Namjoon chuckles while looking at the funny scene. Sitting down against the wall, he gazes at his beloved members with a faint smile on his lips.

"No!" She argues childishly, unintentionally kicking him away with her feet.

Hoseok stops in his tracks, looking at his female member with a deadpanned face, his eyebrows slightly raising. "Did you just try to kick me?" He asks in a lower voice, pointing at himself.

Yona's eyes widen as the realization hits her, slowly but surely backing away from him.

She chuckles nervously while holding her hands up in surrender, trying to get on his good side with a smile. As she sits up, Hoseok slowly takes many steps towards her, keeping his eyes on her during the process.

"You remember when I told you that I love you the most?" Ahri flashes a nervous smile, desperately trying to save herself from the upcoming storm.

Her sentence gains the attention of her members. Their heads immediately spin towards her, mouths widely parted.

"I thought you had no favorites!" Jimin yells while pointing at her accusingly.

"Wow, you're really going to do me like that, huh?" Namjoon nods his head slowly while crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm never buying you a notebook again."

"I'll pretend like I didn't hear that." Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, clicking his tongue.

Hoseok slowly shakes his head though, frustrating the girl even more. "Jin hyung," he calls out, gaining the attention of the oldest member. "You wouldn't mind if I," Hoseok asks for allowance while puckering his lips, motioning to his female member with his hand.

"She's all yours," Seokjin mumbles while massaging his throbbing head, feeling slightly sick all of a sudden.

Ahri throws the eldest a shocked face, her eyes wide as her mouth's agape. Her brain stutters for a moment, her eyes take in more light than she has expected, every part of her goes on pause while her thoughts try to catch up with the betrayal.

The lead rapper chuckles mischievously while standing in front of the youngest member of the group. "You have 5 seconds, Ahri."

Yona's widely stretched eyes move towards her member, processing the news. Without thinking about it twice, she hastily stands up and rushes out the practice room while yelling, "I was lying! I will never pick favorites!"

Hoseok bows to his group before running after the girl, laughing evilly while doing that.

A crushing pain appears on one side of Seokjin's head that came and goes in a pattern now. It makes him want to peace out, but he somehow can't sit, can't lie down nor relax.

"Are you okay?" Jeongguk asks quietly while looking at the oldest member in worrisome.

Seokjin's heavy eyes gaze up, locking them with the youngest doe-like ones. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine," he murmurs while opening and closing his chocolate orbs many times, desperately trying to stay awake, or even conscious at this point.

He's blinded with flashing colorful spots and craves darkness, quiet and stillness.

"Namjoon hyung," Jeongguk quietly calls out with a pout on his lips, worrying about the bad state of his member. The main rapper stands up from his seat, making his way over to the duo.

Namjoon's eyes show the kind of gentle concern as he gazes at his older member. He lays his hand lightly on Seokjin's shoulder, trying to gain his attention or soothe him in any kind of way.

"Hyung, are you okay?" He leaves his hand there and speaks with such a soft voice, an attempt to show his genuine concern.

"I feel like my head's spinning," Jin quietly mumbles, holding his hot-heated face with both of his hands.

"Here, sit down." Yoongi quickly brings a chair, carefully taking hold on Seokjin's shoulder and placing his body down on it.

"Could you call Hoseok and Ahri here?" Namjoon asks Taehyung quietly, attempting to not stress Seokjin even more.

Taehyung looks at the unfolding scene with widened eyes, wondering what's happening to him. Nevertheless, he swiftly nods his head and heads outside to find the duo.

"Do you want to see a doctor?" Yoongi asks worriedly, squatting down to be on eye-level with Seokjin. "We could end practice now and go to the hospital."

Jimin's eyes sadden as he gazes at the eldest, massaging his wide shoulders to somehow soothe his pain.

"It's fine," Jin mumbles, "It's just a small headache."

The door suddenly slams open as Yona rushes towards her beloved member, Taehyung and Hoseok hot on her heels.

"What happened?" She asks in concern, her eyes widely pried open. The female member squats down next to Yoongi, hands on the eldest thigh as she gazes at him with big, worried eyes.

If her thoughts were visible, they would be an inverse explosion, crazy chaotic turns, and twists of light, all coming together to just one idea, to just one word; worrisome and the need to help.

Her eyes hold concern and radiate warmth as she patiently waits for his answer. "I'm okay," Seokjin mumbles, feeling uncomfortable that he gained all the attention, his cheeks sharing the same shade as a cherry blossom.

"Don't deny it." Yoongi shakes his head while speaking softly, still maintaining gentle and polite since he's younger.

Seokjin is in so much pain, his complexion is ashen. His natural golden skin has sunken in tone to something so lifeless, it scares the group to just look at him.

His eyes close and he sucks himself into a deeper place to cope with it. Waves of heat course through his blood, a cold sweat glisten in his gaunt features, everything aches, everything sages.

"We have to do something!" Yona cries out as she takes a firm hold on his cold hands, desperately trying to warm them up with hers.

Tersely, her eyes flicker to her members, who just minutes ago have been a hum of excitement and exhilaration, but now seem to wither with worrisome.

The group feels overwhelmed, some pacing around while others are glued onto the cold floor like a statue. Namjoon quickly finds a solution and gains the attention as he speaks up, "We'll bring him to the hospital now."

"You don't have a driving license!" Yoongi states in distress, nibbling on his fingernails out of habit.

"I-I do," Hoseok mumbles in a quiet voice, raising his hand slowly.

"What are you guys waiting for then?" Yoongi raises his voice, losing patience as he feels himself getting more and more anxious. "Hurry!"

The group is pulled out of their thoughts as the older members quickly grip onto Seokjin's body, attempting to carry him.

"We don't have a car!" Ahri bounces up and down nervously, her mind filling up with negative thoughts.

"We'll just take our manager's car," Yoongi murmurs while struggling to hold his member. "He shouldn't mind after we work our asses off every damn day."

"I don't think that that's legal," Namjoon trails off as he disagrees, shaking his head.

But before he could continue with his moral speech, Yoongi throws him a knowing look, his eyes narrowed. "If you want your favorite 'hyungie' to collapse—"

Namjoon is quick to shake his head, eyes stretched widely. "Let's take the car of our manager."

"Ahri, get the keys of his car," Yoongi orders as Taehyung opens the door for them.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Ahri asks with widened eyes, throwing her hands around in distress.

"I don't know!" Yoongi raises his voice. "Take Jimin with you to find a solution."

Ahri keeps on staring at her oldest members in shock, her mind not processing what's actually happening.

Jimin is quick to take the girl's hand into his own, leading them outside and nearing the office of their manager. "I'll distract him while you take his keys." He states as both of them are standing right in front of his office.

All the reasons not to do this come flooding in as if her body's chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. She feels the soft panic that can grow or fade depending on what she does next.

"Why can't we just ask him?" Ahri whisper-yells, scared and anxious of being caught.

"Because he's a ruthless bitch sometimes, that's why!" Jimin whispers back in distress, shaking the girl's shoulders to emphasize his statement.

Before the female member could continue to argue with him, Jimin knocks on the door, pushing Ahri away in the process.

"You bitch!" She whisper-yells while standing up properly again, "I was about to fall down!"

"Grow a pair!" Jimin states quietly, "Now, hide!"

As the girl hears the door creak open, her eyes widen and she swiftly obeys her member's orders and hides behind a wall.

She hears a few faint mumbles, but can't quite figure out what they're talking about. After hearing the clicking of some shoes, her heartbeat quickens.

Their manager and Jimin walk away, her member throwing an okay sign while smirking victoriously.

She sighs in relief, distancing herself from the wall and making her way over to his office. Slowly creaking the door open, her body trembles as her eyes roam over the room.

Ahri steps inside, her heart hammering against her chest out of fear of being caught. How would she explain herself?

Her hands slither around his desk hastily, the intense rhythm of her heartbeat undergoing an irregular count. Her eyes light up as she sees the silver item, quickly taking it in her trembling hands.

Hearing a few footsteps, her manager murmurs from the distance, "That was just spider and not a snake, Jimin. You really need some glasses!"

"I swear that I saw a snake!" Jimin argues nervously. "Could we please look again?"

Ahri tip-toes out of the room like the floor will give out under her tiny body mass. Every step is so light that she makes no sound at all.

All she sees in herself is her fearful face and body language, but everyone else sees her bravery. She is so afraid, yet still manages to take the keys, rushing outside afterward.

"I got them," Yona breathes heavily, leaning down and gripping her thighs to normalize her heartbeat.

"Good job, Yona." Yoongi smiles faintly as he takes the keys, handing them over to Hoseok afterward.

She suddenly feels a hand on her shoulder, causing a scream to escape her body, but a firm hand above her mouth silences her quickly. "It's just me," Jimin whispers out of breath.

"Let's go now!" Hoseok yells from inside the car, already starting the engine.

Jimin and Ahri rush forward but halt in their tracks as they see that there is only one free seat.

Hoseok is sitting on the driver's seat, obviously, while Namjoon is squeezed beside Seokjin in the passenger seat, making sure that the older one is still conscious.

Yoongi and Taehyung sit next to each other in the back while poor boy Jeongguk is squeezed behind the passenger seat and in front of Yoongi's legs.

"This is a mess." Ahri's eyes are widened.

"We're two people and there's only one seat!" Jimin states in exasperation, pushing his fluffy black hair back with his hand.

"Just let her sit on your damn lap!" Hoseok yells from his seat, his patience fading.

"Hyung, no—" Jimin disagrees nervously, his cheeks already a dark shade of red.

"I swear to god if you kids don't sit down on this damn seat in less than 5 seconds, I'm driving without you," Hoseok states impatiently. He grips the steering wheel tighter, his leg bouncing up and down as slight irritation builds in his system.

Both of them are scared to see Hoseok's rare angry side, so Jimin quickly takes a seat next to Taehyung, avoiding eye-contact as Yona lightly places herself on top of him.

Her back is facing him as she's fidgeting with her fingers nervously, praying that they will quickly arrive for Seokjin's sake.

Jimin's thoughts are quite different. He feels himself getting hot as his mind wanders elsewhere.

Quickly shaking those inappropriate thoughts away, he's scared that his female member won't talk to him after this incident. Or that she may even be mad at him.

Taehyung is stifling his giggles as he's glancing in between the duo, whose cheeks are as red as a celosia.

"How much longer will it take?" Jimin breathes heavily, repositioning himself to get more 'comfortable'.

A laugh escapes Taehyung, but he quickly covers his mouth to stifle it.

Jeongguk gazes at his other younger members in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed. "Hyung, why are you sweating?" He asks Jimin out of perplexity.

The older one's eyes widen as he glances at the male maknae, cursing at Jeongguk at the back of his head. "I-I'm not," he disagrees, shaking his head pleadingly, hoping that the youngest male member will get the signals to keep his mouth shut.

"No, you are," Jeongguk states, oblivious to the whole situation. More likely, to Jimin's situation and what he's going through. "Are you hot?" The youngest boy asks while bobbing his head to the side, his forehead creased.

Taehyung starts to laugh wholeheartedly, but Jimin quickly covers his mouth to keep him quiet.

Yona's eyebrows furrow as she's wriggling on Jimin's lap, trying to look at him to see what's wrong. "Don't move!" Jimin yells all of a sudden, tightly gripping the girl's shoulders to stop her.

The tension within the other members is slightly eased as they're listening and watching Jimin's bad but funny looking state.

Hoseok and Namjoon are stifling their waves of laughter as they're listening to the conversation, the lead rapper glancing at them through the rear window sometimes.

Yoongi and Taehyung watch the scene in amusement, the heaviness on their shoulders lifted somehow. The boys from Daegu already have many ways and ideas in mind on how to tease Jimin, smirking while doing that.

Jeongguk and Yona are completely oblivious to the situation, their eyebrows furrowed as they glance at one another. The girl is throwing her other maknae a look which says, 'What's going on?'

Her fellow youngest member gets the message immediately, somehow always knowing what she's thinking about.

Nevertheless, he shrugs his shoulders, his big eyes stretched out of curiosity and confusion.

"Could you please drive faster?" Jimin whines pleadingly, looking at Hoseok, who simply has a knowing smirk on his face.

"Hm," the lead rapper hums. "I don't think that would be appropriate," he emphasizes the last word, causing Namjoon to let a laugh out.

"Hyung!" Jimin's eyes widen. "Please!"

Hoseok chuckles while nodding his head. "We arrived anyway."

As soon as they come to a stop in the parking lot, Jimin pushes Yona away and rushes outside. "What is it with you pushing me the whole day?" She asks loudly while hastily standing up.

But Jimin's long gone. He disappears into the hospital, causing the whole group, except the two youngest, to laugh loudly.

"What is it?" Both of the youngest members ask in unison, perplexity dripping from their voices.

Taehyung wants to enlighten them, but Namjoon is quick to slap the back of his head. "Don't you dare," he murmurs while shaking his head.

Yoongi and Hoseok put Seokjin's arms around their shoulders, carrying him inside the hospital while the others are hot on their heels.

After Namjoon tells the receptionist their situation, they immediately carry Seokjin away into a room to check on him.

As soon as they entered the hospital, the atmosphere changed.

The hospital corridor is stuffy and the air has an undertone of bleach. The walls are in plain hues of white and grey and are scraped in places from the hundreds of trolleys that have bumped into them.

Time seems to pass in a blur as the group is impatiently sitting on some stools, worrying about Seokjin's state. But the female member can't stay seated because of her nervousness, which is why she stands up and walks around in a circle.

Ahri's leg bounces up and down, her heart beating faster as soon as she sees a nurse or a doctor, but normalizing after she realizes that they're not the ones who work on her adored member.

"Hyung," she calls out quietly, gaining Namjoon's attention because he's proximate to her. "What if something happens? What if he was sick all along?"

He's quick to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, his eyes radiating warmth and somehow soothing the young girl. "Nothing will happen, okay?" He promises softly, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"I-I don't know," her voice breaks slightly, almost below a whisper. She shakes her low hanging head, her shoulders slumped down in devastation and worrisome.

She's not an emotional person to begin with, but she somehow always feels like she's on a rollercoaster when it's about her members, the only people she loves and adores with all her might.

So seeing Seokjin in such a bad state, knowing that he has been pressuring himself to the point where he was about to be unconscious, has made Yona really burdened and makes her feel like she's at fault because she didn't know about it earlier.

Before the voices in her head could continue whispering negative things to make her feel bad about herself, Namjoon swiftly but surely wraps his arms around her.

It's such a rare sign of affection, considering that her leader is not a really touchy person. But that doesn't mean that he wouldn't want to protect her at all cost. Namjoon is aware about her critical past, he may not know every small detail, but he most definitely knows that she deserves all the love in the world.

It saddens him to see her at the verge of tears. And since he knows that Yona loves to be physically cherished, he hugs her tightly.

In his embrace, the passing nurses feel like they've stopped and the conversations from the other rooms become silent.

"Thank you." The words hardly manage to break out as the lump in her throat chokes her voice back. His chin rests on top of her head. His arms clench her tighter as he whispers, "Don't mention it, Yona."

The female member pulls back as she sees the doctor exit the room where Seokjin has been brought to. "Sir." She immediately strides towards him. "Is he okay?"

"Yes." The doctor nods his head while smiling. "You can look at him now. He's awake."

As soon as he finishes his sentence, Yona rushes inside the magnolia colored room to find Seokjin laying on a hospital bed.

His smile extends to his chocolate eyes as he sees Yona standing in the doorway, twinkling as he's greeting her.

She reciprocates in her way, her smile limited to her mouth, quickly embracing him in a tight hug. "I'm so glad that you're okay."

Seokjin groans as she's cuddling him too tightly, causing her to quickly pull away with widened eyes. Before she could start to apologize and ramble, he chuckles and states, "I already said that I was fine."

Yona smiles faintly, her raising heartbeat slowing down as she gazes at his contagious smile.

After the boys greet him with smiles and hugs, the doctor clears his throat, gaining their attention. "Kim Seokjin has been under a lot of stress for a few days now," he informs the group, making the eldest slump down in his position with slightly heated cheeks.

"Why?" Jeongguk asks with furrowed brows, glancing in between his members, who are simply shrugging back at him.

"You should ask that him," the doctor suggests, nodding his head. "We'll give him some medicine, but he still needs to rest and stay in here until tomorrow."

"Okay, thank you, sir," Namjoon smiles. The doctor bids farewell as he smiles back at all of us, leaving the room right after.

"Why were you stressed?" Yoongi asks curiously, sitting down on a couch, which is placed opposite the bed.

Seokjin clears his throat awkwardly, averting his gaze from his members. He shrugs while they stare at him, their eyes pried open.

He mumbles something under his breath, but they don't understand a single word. "Huh?" Taehyung blurts out, leaning in further from his seat on the bed, sitting right beside Seokjin.

"I was worried," he speaks up clearer while fighting his fingers nervously, but still not clear enough for the group to understand his statement.

"Worried about what?" Hoseok chuckles, trying his best to break the awkward silence.

After the eldest doesn't respond, Yoongi states, "Let's not pressure him. If he doesn't want to tell, then that's fine. He's feeling good, that's the most important thing."

All of them nod their heads, causing Seokjin to sigh in relief.

After many hours of simply talking and playing some games, the doctor knocks on the door and opens it right after.

"I'm sorry, but you have to leave now. The patient needs to rest," he declares, clasping his hands while nodding his head.

The members nod their heads, bidding farewells while throwing a few smiles at their eldest. But Yona stays seated next to Seokjin, not moving an inch.

"Ahri, come on." Taehyung holds his hand out, expecting her to take it, but she shakes her head.

"I'm staying here tonight," she states confidently, nodding her head to emphasize her statement.

"You can't do that," Namjoon disagrees while shaking his head.

Her forehead creases, a small pout building on her lips. "Why not?"

"I don't think that you're allowed to," he counters.

Nevertheless, she stubbornly crosses her arms over her chest, looking down in slight sadness.

As soon as Seokjin sees her expression, he asks the doctor, "Could she stay here? Just for tonight?"

The doctor nibbles on his lip nervously, tilting his head to the side. He sighs and nods after thinking for a while. "Yes."

Yona's face lights up, a wide smile building on her face. "If you weren't a doctor, I would've hugged you!" She exclaims in joy.

The doctor simply chuckles while waving his hands around in denial. "Please don't."

A smile paints on Seokjin's pouty lips as he gazes at Yona. "You have such a soft spot for her." Yoongi clicks his tongue, hiding his smile with his hand. "She's going to use it against you one day."

"Do you want me to fight her, someone who's 5 years younger, like someone else does all the time?" Jin counters, his brows raising teasingly.

Yoongi is at loss for words, mouth parted. "Good point." He nods his head with narrowed eyes.

The boys leave the hospital, leaving the duo alone in the dimly lit room, the night appearing as the sky is painted in a dark shade of blue.

Stars filled the sky like pale corn into freshly turned ground. It's the promise of life in the darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold. It's a vastness to bring humbleness and an eternal space to bring gratitude for the coziness of home.

Yona pulls a chair out and places it right next to the bed, resting her face on her palms while she tries to keep her heavy eyes open.

"I was stressed because," Seokjin speaks up quietly, awakening Yona as she gazes at him, his eyes already trained on her.

He restarts his sentence, shaking his head in the process. "I was so worried about you," he whispers, looking down at his clasped hands, which are placed on his lap, in sadness and slight embarrassment.

"I'm your older brother, and I'm obligated to take good care of you," he continues, averting the young girl's gaze. "I failed miserably. Seeing you break down was my own breaking point."

"I always thought of you and your situation. Always questioned myself why your father treats you that way, why you're acting so anxious almost all the time, what actually happened in your past and all that," he admits, wiping away the few tears that secretly escaped his eyes.

"Your father raising his hand at you made my blood boil," he states, clenching his fists tightly.

"But I'm just happy that I'm the one who takes care of you now." He finally looks up, smiling faintly while gazing at Yona's tear-brimming eyes. "Because I will try my best to keep you joyful, happy, and to make you feel cherished because you seriously deserve it."

"I can endure any pain as long as I see you happy, smiling, because my world is a better place as you do so."