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chapter twenty-five

Sighing loudly, I look back down again. "What do you want, Seojun?" I ask him tiredly, not in the mood to argue with him.

He looks down at me in confusion, probably wondering why my 'feisty' behavior is lacking today.

Seojun sits down beside me without an invitation, but I'm too exhausted to fight him against it. I rest my head on my crossed arms, which are on top of my legs, gazing at the busy streets of Seoul.

"I just saw you down the streets and didn't want you to get poured by the rain," he states quietly while I sense him staring at me.

Sighing softly, I tiredly nod my head. His eyebrows furrow as a big frown builds on his forehead.

After some time, he opens his mouth, "did you come from school?"

Nodding my head silently, he keeps on glancing at me.

"I go to the School of Performing Arts," he nods his head in a happy manner, "that's why I'm here."

I look ahead as my mind wanders somewhere else. He always used to tell me how he wants to become an actor in his future and wants to attend that school. It's his dream.

"I saw your performance," he nods his head while a proud smile is painting his lips, "you did pretty great."

Nodding my head, my lips form into a thin line. He can't just come up here and try to small-talk with me.

"I wondered why that tiny boy was beside you as you talked to Jaehyun in the cafe," a melodic chuckle leaves his mouth, "guess that he's your group-member."

I roll my eyes because of his nonstop talking. Some people change, but he doesn't and keeps on rambling. He even has the audacity to shit-talk about my member.

"And why do you care?" I snap as I lock my eyes with his.

Seojun simply shrugs, a small grin planted on his face. "I'm glad that you chose to follow your dream instead of living on the streets," he mumbles.

Staring at him for what seems like forever, I sigh loudly and stand back up. The rain starts pouring on my body, but I don't care.
I just need to get away from him.

He stands up as well as his eyes widen. "Wait," he takes a hold on my wrist, "take this," he mumbles while giving me the open umbrella.

"Don't catch a cold," he smiles at me, his pearly teeth showing. Seojun gets all soaked as he stands in the rain while I stare at him.

He's giving me such a hard time to stay mad at him. With a frown on my face, I want to hand the umbrella back to him, but he quickly turns around and leaves with a smile on his face.

Glancing at his figure from afar, I soon head to the entertainment as he disappears in the crowd.

Opening the door of the practice room, the boys soon rush towards me. "Where were you?" Jeongguk asks me worriedly, his lips turning downwards.

"I sat down while it was raining," I tell them as I nod my head lightly.

"Where did you get that umbrella from?" Yoongi asks me curiously, glancing down at the object in my hand and then back up at me.

"Oh, I just—" I start to come up with an excuse, but shut my mouth immediately.

No more lies, Yona.

Sighing loudly, I intensely stare at the floor. "Seojun gave it to me," I mumble.

"Why would you meet up with him?" Yoongi is confused, and also slightly worried.

My eyes narrow as I stare at him, trying to swallow my sudden boiling anger.

"I did not meet up with him," I state firmly while locking my eyes with his, my voice dangerously low.

The boys are taken aback by my sudden change of voice, making me startle as well.

Why the hell did I just burst out like that?

Exhaling softly, I shake my head. "Let's just start practicing."

"Actually," Namjoon starts, "we have an interview today. Did you forget?"

My eyes widen slightly, "an interview?"

Jimin sighs in an annoyed manner. "Ahri," he begins, "our manager discussed it with us, remember?"

Eyes narrowing slightly, I nod my head even though I don't remember anything.

"Whatever, let's just wait until Bang PD-nim picks us up," Jin states and sits down on the floor exhaustedly.

All of us nod along and sit down beside him. I take a seat in front of the wall, resting my head on the hard concrete as I keep my eyes closed.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asks me quietly in a worried tone.

Opening one eye, I glance at him. "Yeah," I mumble.

A small pout forms on his lips and he soon puts his arm around my shoulder. "Don't be sad, Ahri-ah," Taehyung chirps as he squishes my cheeks, causing a small smile to spread on my face.

"Stop," I chuckle while trying to push him away.

He starts giggling, "no."

"Get a room," Jimin chuckles while gazing at us, a knowing grin on his full lips.

We stop our actions and I glance at him, my cheeks still squished together by Taehyung's hand. "Huh?" I blurt out.

Jimin simply raises his eyebrows, a big smirk occupying his lips.

Before he can say anything, the door slams open. "Hello," our manager greets us.

We bow our heads, "hello."

"You should go into the car now and head to the place where the interview will be," he starts but stops as soon as he sees me, "why are you looking like that?"

Looking down at my attire with a frown, I blurt out, "huh?"

Namjoon is quick to elbow me for my disrespectful behavior.

Bang Si-Hyuk sighs loudly, a hand massaging his temples. "Ahri, you should be ready for the interview. You can't go in those clothes and that hair?" He states in a slightly disgusted tone.

Taking that as a full offense, my mouth's agape. "I'm sorry—" I state ironically, starting a discussion, but Namjoon quickly cuts me off.

"She'll get changed now," our leader nods his head swiftly.

"Good," Si-Hyuk nods his head, "I'll leave now, don't be late."

As soon as he closes the door shut, I scoff. "What's wrong with my clothes?" I ask the others.

Seokjin raises his eyebrows, a knowing look on his face. "I don't want to sound rude, Ahri," he starts, "but you look like shit."

My mouth opens in shock. "How is that not rude?" I ask him in an offended tone.

"Chill, chill," Taehyung puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down.

"As Namjoon hyung said, we'll change you real quick," he declares.

"Don't we have staff for that?" I question them, "how are you guys going to fix me?"

"We don't need staff," Yoongi speaks up, "we know how to do this."

"Truth be told..." Hoseok speaks up. "I don't think the company has a lot of money for all the staff members."

Eyes narrowing, I gaze at all of them since I don't believe their words. "I don't know—" I start slowly while shaking my head, but they immediately cut me off.

"No, no," Jimin jumps up and makes his way over to me, "we got you."

He takes my hands in his and helps me to stand up. "Let's get you a chair and we'll do your make-up," he smiles at me, his eyes crinkling at the ends.

I take a seat on the chair, a frown is still evident on my face. "I don't trust you guys," I shake my head.

"If you can't trust us," Taehyung begins as he smiles widely, "who could you even trust?"

No one, I answer in my head, but then shake it off.

Nodding my head lightly, I agree with his statement. "True, though," I mumble to myself.

Jeongguk comes rushing in with many bags in his hands. "I got everything," he smiles while jogging in front of me.

The boys open the bags, which are filled with all different kinds of make-up and hair brushes. "As if they gave you everything," I gaze at Jeongguk unbelievably.

He shrugs his shoulder, a smile still painting his lips. "The woman said I couldn't do anything with my innocence anyway."

Scoffing loudly, I start to laugh. "You ain't innocent," I shake my head in denial.

His eyebrows furrow, a pout building on his face. "I am!" He disagrees.

"You're not," I shake my head again.

"Jeongguk is the most innocent boy I've ever seen," Jin speaks up as he frowns, the others agreeing with his statement.

"Yeah," Yoongi nods his head, "he looks like an angel beside you."

"Will you stop calling me a devil?" I ask him right after he finishes his sentence.

"Just stating facts," Yoongi shrugs his shoulders.

"If you guys say so," I shrug my shoulders as well while knowingly grinning to myself.

I'm really good at reading human beings, and people who look innocent, are most of the time not if you get to know them.

"Let's start now," Taehyung claps his hands in excitement.

"Here we go," I mumble as they begin to give me a makeover.

"Namjoon, Jimin, and I will do the make-up," Jin declares, "and the rest will do her hair."

"And my outfit?" I ask him.

"Your outfit is already chosen," Namjoon tells me, and I nod my head.

Soon, they start to get to work. Jimin lightly taps the foundation on my face. "Do you know what you're doing?" I ask him insecurely.

"Yes," he states, "now shut up. Never interrupt an artist's work."

"Damn, fine," I mumble, causing Jin to look at me disapprovingly.

"You know what? I'll just shut my mouth," I tell them and go silent.

"Yes, do us a favor," Yoongi states teasingly, making me narrow my eyes at him.

Later, I sense some pain on the back of my head. "Ouch!" I cry out, clutching the place my hair has been pulled at.

"Sorry," Jeongguk mumbles while stroking the place, trying to ease the pain.

"It's fine, Koo," I smile faintly.

"I think we're done," Hoseok smiles widely, handing me a mirror.

Gazing at my reflection, the boys wait for my reaction. "Hm," I begin, "it looks pretty good."

They exclaim happily and start jumping around in victory. "Well, I mean, everything looks good on me, so," I shrug my shoulders, making them stop their actions.

"Someone's being cocky," Jin gazes at me, his eyes having a small spark of mischief.

"I'm just kidding," I chuckle lightly while waving a hand.

"Okay," Namjoon speaks up, "you should change into these now."

Looking into his hands, I gaze at some black jeans, a black shirt with some printings and writing on it, and some clean black shoes.

"You need these as well," Yoongi hands me some chains, "it's the most important item to make the outfit perfect."

"Got it," I salute and take everything into my own hands to change.

Gazing at them knowingly, they simply smile at me widely. "Will you guys like go out, so I can change?" I ask them slowly, tilting my head to the side in the process.

"Oh, yeah, true,"  Hoseok states and they soon leave the practice room.

Changing into the clothes swiftly, I open the door and present my outfit. "How is it?" I ask them while gazing down at it myself.

"You look fine," Jimin smiles, "now you completely fit with us."

Smiling back at him, I ask, "when will our album release?"

Namjoon is quick to answer, "in like an hour. That's why we need to have the interview now."

"Oh, okay," I nod my head while biting my lip nervously.

Me? Talking in front of a camera? Knowing that thousands of people can see it? Hell, no!

"Let's get going now," Jin states, dragging all of us out and into the car.

"I'm so excited," Taehyung bounces in his seat next to me, "I hope they will like us."

Jimin nods along. "I hope so," he mumbles as his head is hanging low, causing my lips to turn downwards.

"Okay, so," Namjoon gains all of our attention, "they are going to ask things like who we are, what we do, our music in general, okay?"

"What if we can't answer some questions?" I ask him in an insecure tone, a small frown evident on my forehead.

"We should always help each other out if we don't know what to say," he nods his head.

I gaze out of the window as my mind wanders off. Hopefully, the interviewer will be nice and ask kind questions. But knowing my luck, that will most probably not be the case.

Suddenly, I feel some warmth on my hand. Looking up with widened eyes, I gaze at Taehyung's almond-like ones.

"I'm by your side," he tells me quietly, holding my hand while smiling, "always."

Smiling faintly, I nod my head. "Thank you," I mouth.

"We arrived!" Jeongguk exclaims.

We go out and enter the building. After someone tells us that we need to wait inside a room, we obey their orders and patiently sit on a few couches.

Bouncing my leg up and down, I start to fiddle with my fingers nervously.

"Hello, BTS!" A young man enters the room as he greets us.

"Hello," we bow our heads while standing up.

"So, it's pretty easy," he explains, "you guys just need to stand there and I will ask some questions behind the camera."

"It won't be any serious questions since the people and the media should only get to know you a little," he states.

We nod our heads and make our ways in front of the camera. The interviewer clicks on the camera and it starts recording.

Namjoon starts the introduction that we have been learning for a while now.

"Hello, we are BTS," we exclaim and smile towards the camera.

After my members introduce themselves, it's soon my turn and I take the microphone in my hand. "H-Hello, I'm Kim Ahri Yona and my stage name is Yves, main rapper and maknae," I stutter, my cheeks soon getting flushed as I smile at the camera.

Fuck, this is so embarrassing. I gulp, even more humiliated because of my stutter.

The man asks some questions, but I stay quiet almost all the time since I don't want to embarrass myself or the boys.

"So, Yves," the interviewer asks me, making me look up at him. "Don't you think it's a little controversial if one girl is in a group full of boys?"

My heartbeat quickens as my eyes begin to widen. Gulping harshly, I open my mouth, but no words seem to come out.

"Um, I—" I clear my throat awkwardly, but the interviewer immediately cuts me off.

"Isn't it risky for a girl to live with many men?" He asks me again, judging me as his eyebrows are furrowed.

Huh? I tilt my head to the side, thinking deeper about the question.

Is he accusing me of having sexual intercourse with the boys? Narrowing my eyes at him, I can literally hear my rapid heartbeat.

Yoongi's eyes narrow as he stares at the man who interviews us. All of my members look at the interviewer unbelievably.

They don't even know how to handle this situation. They aren't prepared for this.

Anger builds in my system and I try to control myself, trying not to slip in front of the camera. Act professional, Yona.

Clearing my throat again, I smile at him insincerely. "No, the boys are like my brothers and I have a special bond with them," I stare at the interviewer intensely, "I wouldn't trade it for anything."

After I finish my answer, I keep on staring at the interviewer, causing him to look taken aback. Not by my answer, but by the expression of my fiery eyes and clenched jaw.

The interview continues but I isolate myself from answering any more questions.

I really try hard to not influence my mood from other peoples opinions and thoughts about me, but it's getting harder every time.

"Thank you for being here, BTS!" He finishes and we bid farewells.

We go inside the car to head home, and I quickly sit down in the back.

"What type of question was that?" Jimin asks around in anger.

"Why would he ask that?" Jeongguk asks as well, a small frown on his forehead.

"'Cause he's a son of a bitch," I blurt out while crossing my arms, my eyes widening when their eyes turn on me.

"I'm so sorry," I panic. "I should really stop swearing," I mumble to myself.

"No, you're actually right," Yoongi and Jin agree, leaving me stunned.

"Wow," my eyes widen in shock, "that both of you agree with my words and actions is something new, really."

"Don't get over yourself now," Seokjin states, "of course, you shouldn't swear."

"But his question was really inappropriate," Yoongi nods his head, clenching his jaw tightly.

"I feel like I'll get that a lot," I shrug my shoulders, trying to act as nonchalant as possible, to not make the boys worried. While staring out of the window in annoyance, I mumble, "getting called names and all that."

"We always have your back," Hoseok nods his head, trying to encourage me with his beautiful smile.

"I know," I nod my head, trying to smile back at him, "and I'm really thankful for that."

"Really, I mean it," my eyes sadden as I continue. "I never had anyone like you guys by my side. You're like my brothers and I feel like I don't deserve you," I bite my inner cheeks while I quietly mumble the last part.

"Don't say that," all of them exclaim sadly in unison.

Jimin hugs me tightly since he sits right next to me. "All of us love you so much," he tells me as he smiles.

"About that—" Yoongi begins teasingly but stops as soon as I start looking at him in annoyance.

"I'm just kidding," the rapper states, "you're as much Bangtan as we are."

"I hope the media will say that as well," I mumble to myself while staring out of the window.

"Are you sure that you want to work?" Jin asks me worriedly, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You can just come home and I'll cook for you—" he smiles, but I cut him off.

"No, really. I need to work and somehow make it up to Jaehyun," I mumble.

"Okay, take care," Seokjin lays a warm hand on my shoulder, "one of us will pick you up since it's dark after you leave work."

"No, you seriously don't need to. I'll be a burden—" I start, but now he cuts me off.

"Don't even discuss this with me, Yona," he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Okay," I mumble quietly and walk towards the cafe after we say our goodbyes.

Opening the door, the aroma of sweet cakes and coffee enters my nostrils.

Will Jaehyun even accept me anymore? Maybe he doesn't even want me to work.

While standing in the middle of the room, I try to decide what to do. Suddenly, an apron is thrown on my head.

Looking up in confusion, I see no one in sight. "Get to work. You don't get paid for nothing," Jaehyun tells me firmly as he makes his way behind the cash register.

Smiling faintly, I quickly head behind the counter. I'm glad that he didn't fire me, or else I wouldn't know how to earn money.

"Thank you," I smile up at him.

He keeps his straight face on, looking anywhere but at me. "Don't try to have small-talk with me," he shakes his head, "I'm still mad at you, but I know that you need the money."

"I can't leave you hanging like that, even after you lied to me," he whispers to himself, but I still hear his words.

Nodding my head, I bite the inner parts of my cheeks nervously. "Thank you," I whisper and immediately get to work.

After my shift ends, I go outside and wait for one of the boys to pick me up. While doing that, I pull my phone out.

Looking down at it, I look at the comments of our interview and album. My lips turn downwards as I gaze at it with saddened eyes.

"The girl is such a slut."

"She's as tall as some of the boys, how disgusting hahaha."

"She's not even Korean. Why would they let a girl PLUS a foreigner into the group?"

"She's so fat omg."

"What a whore."

"SLUT!"

"The 'girl rapper' is so ugly."

"Since when do girls even rap?"

"Didn't her parents raise her right? I would be ashamed of my child if she were in a group with seven boys."

"She can't become an idol with those chubby cheeks. She needs to lose weight."

"The girl rapper needs to go back to the underground."

My hands tremble as I hold the phone in my hands. Gulping harshly, I can sense my eyes being glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As I blink, they disappear, but build up once again.

It's as if a black mist has settled upon me and refuses to shift, and no matter how bright the day is, I could feel no sun and hear no bird song.

Staying glued on the ground like a statue, I try to calm myself down. My breathing gets heavier as I reread all of the comments, more opinions and hate filling in the minute I update the page.

In attempt to calm my rapid heartbeat, I dig my fingers into my hand in a hard way.

Slowly, many blood drops trickle down my hand, making me widen my eyes in panic.

"Yona?"

Turning around swiftly, I gaze at him with tear-filled eyes.

He can't see me like this. Blinking many times, I try to take control over my wet eyes.

Putting on a false smile, I gaze at him. "Hey, hyung," I mumble while hiding my blooded hand in the pocket of my jacket.

"Are you okay?" He asks me slowly, his eyes roaming over me in attempt to explain my pity state.

"Yes, I'm fine," I smile at him once again, my eyes starting to tear up once again.

He stares at me for a long time and suddenly pulls my wrist out. Gazing at it with shocked eyes, he looks up at me.

I tilt my head to the side while smiling at him sadly. My eyes drip with tears, giving me right away.

His mouth is agape as he swiftly pulls me into him. Wrapping his arms around me, he starts to stroke my hair, trying to calm me down.

Despite feeling a coldness in my stomach, it warms up at the feeling of his touch. I sink into him, appreciative about his touch.

"You can cry, Ahri," Jin whispers softly while stroking my hair.

"I wish I could," I mumble as my head is buried in his chest.