⋆ ☄︎. · ̊ * 🔭
chapter thirteen

I can feel her chest and her heart that beats within. Her warm hands stroke my hair as she softly sings me a lullaby.

My body shakes, crying for the missed time we will never make back, crying to release the tension of these three wasted years of my shattered life.

She pulls her head back and wipes my tears with her thumb, even her softness brings more relief and love than my heart could ever hold.

I want to say so many things but all I can do is croak out, "don't leave me again."

Her mouth paints a soft smile and she nods before folding me in her warm arms again.

My eyes flutter open and sadness takes over me when I don't feel my mother's warmth and protection around me.

Taking in my surroundings, I notice that I'm still at the boy's dorm. Gazing at my right side, Taehyung is squeezed in the corner of the bed, probably to not make me feel uncomfortable.

Everyone's still asleep and before anyone could wake up, I quietly stand up and make my way to my own dorm.

While rubbing my tired eyes, I open the unlocked door that I forgot to close yesterday. As I don't see anything suspicious in my dorm, I go inside and brush my teeth.

I don't know what time it is, but according to the rising sun, it's probably morning.

Since I don't feel hungry at the time, I decide to eat later.

I reflect today's events while tidying my dorm a little. We're going to do our music shoot today and I have work afterward.

I hope Jaehyun will be at the cafe today or else I don't know what to do. I can't deal with Seojun for another day.

After swiftly cleaning my surroundings, I put a black tracksuit on. I'll get changed at the filming of the music video anyway.

Since it's too early for the boys to be awake, I decide to surprise them with a nice gift for always being kind and respectful towards me.

Quietly entering their dorm, I go up to the kitchen and prepare to cook something for them.

While the eggs are cooking, I set the table and place orange juice on the wooden board.

After the eggs are done, I put them on top of the plates and place some bread neatly beside it.

I hastily pull out lunch meat from the refrigerator and try to position them on the table as well, but not before it slips down with the plate.

Cringing at the loud noise, I face-palm myself for being this clumsy and stupid again. I hear light whispers and footsteps.

Great, now they're awake.

Squatting down, I take the broken pieces of the leftovers from the plate.

"Ahri?" All the boys call out, curiously staring at me while I pick the fallen things from the ground up.

"Yeah?" I breathe loudly enough for them to hear and soon stand up to throw the shattered plate away.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung rushes to me as soon as he sees the crushed leftovers of the plate on my hands.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," I reassure him.

"What were you even doing?" Jimin asks in his morning voice while stretching his body.

"Well, I tried to do breakfast for you guys. Emphasis on tried, because I suck at cooking and will do something clumsy at the end," I shrug.

"That's so sweet of you, thank you," Jin smiles and sits down on a stool which is placed around the table.

"It's nothing, really," I shake my head, "enjoy," I bow and start to walk out of the kitchen to go to my dorm again.

"Where are you going?" Yoongi says behind me in his deep voice.

Eyes widening, I turn around swiftly. "H-Home?" I answer more like a question.

I don't think I can ever hold a normal conversation with him anymore.

"No, eat with us," Namjoon disagrees.

Hoseok nods. "Yes, you made all of this, at least eat with us," he smiles.

"We don't get to see you because of your work, have breakfast with us at least," Jimin reasons.

Nodding slowly, I sit down between Jungkook and Taehyung.

"Today will be our first shooting for the music video," Hoseok smiles as he happily eats his meal.

Seokjin nods. "I still can't believe that we'll debut in less than a week," he sighs.

Anxiously bouncing my leg up and down, my mind wanders to our debut as well.

I hope that we won't get too much hate. It depends on what they're saying about us though, I hope they won't be too harsh.

"Don't you want to eat?" I hear a small voice beside me and turn around to see Jeongguk looking at me with big eyes.

Shaking my head lightly I mumble, "I'm not that hungry."

"You have to eat to become strong," he faintly smiles and holds an encouraging fist up.

Smiling lightly, I nod my head. "You're right."

I eat some pieces of bread while the boys are finishing their meals. "This was really delicious. Thank you, Yona," Namjoon approves and the others nod along.

"Don't mention it, hyung," I smile.

"Let's get going now, shall we?" Our leader cleans his mouth with a napkin before standing up.

We jump out of our chairs and make our way to the building we're working at. After we've arrived, Seokjin knocks on the door which leads to our manager's office.

"Come in!" A fainted yell can be heard from the other side of the door.

Yoongi opens the door and we march in. "Hello," our manager stands up and greets us.

Bowing politely, all of us greet him back, "good morning."

"I have great news once again," he announces, "you'll perform on Melon Stage at the 12th June!"

My eyes widen as I process the news. We're going to perform immediately? What if I do something wrong?

"Woah, really?" Hoseok asks, stunned.

"Yes, your album will come out one day after though, so your official debut will be on June 13," he informs us.

My body trembles while thinking about all the bad things that can happen. I don't know if I can do this.

Suddenly I feel a faint touch on my hand. Looking up curiously, I see Taehyung smiling lightly.

"Everything's going to be fine," he whispers so the others won't hear him.

Nodding my head slowly, I'm grateful that he's with me.

I honestly don't know what I would do without him by my side. He has helped me so many times during this short time.

All of a sudden, he speaks up, "will I be there as well?"

"Yes, of course, why not?" Bang Si-Hyuk chuckles lightly.

"Nobody knows me," he mumbles in a somewhat sad tone, "you didn't even know my name for a whole year."

A frown builds on my forehead and sadness grows in my system. I didn't even know this.

What the fuck? Sudden irritation builds up in my chest, and I stare over at Si-Hyuk.

So many things must've happened while they were training.

Our manager clears his throat, "you'll be there, Taehyung."

Taehyung nods slowly, a faint smile forming on his lips. I smile as I gaze at his happy self.

"So," Si-Hyuk begins, "the car is waiting outside and will bring you to the place where you'll be shooting."

"Fighting!" He cheers us up and we make our way to the car.

I'm seated beside Namjoon at the corner. He hands me a piece of paper. Curiously looking down at the paper and back up at him, I wait for a response.

"This is your verse," he states, "we changed it up a little, so you should memorize it quickly."

"Do you write?" My eyebrows raise as I skim over the text. It sounds really good and way better than the original one.

He sheepishly strokes the back of his head. "Yeah, a little," he mumbles.

"This is so good, hyung. You have real talent!" I compliment him.

His cheeks turn a light shade of red as he smiles at me. "Thank you, Ahri."

Smiling back at him, I chirp, "no problem."

"When did you get into rap actually? You spit bars like crazy!" He chuckles.

Gulping, I debate what to answer. Telling the truth or lying?

"Um," I perplex, "I rapped a lot with some friends."

Well, it's not a lie. I did rap with some 'friends'.

"Where did you live again?" Namjoon asks me, tilting his head to the side.

"I used to live in Germany until I was 12 and then moved to Daegu to live with my grandma," I nod my head while explaining.

"That's so cool! Are you fluent in German?" His eyes fill with excitement.

"Yeah," I chuckle.

"Can you say something in your language?"

"What do you want me to say?" I question him now.

He thinks for a second. "Introduce yourself!"

Chuckling at his cute behavior, I simply say, "Hallo, ich heiße Ahri Yona Kim und bin das weibliche Mitglied der Gruppe BTS."

Soon, all heads turn towards me as they hear something foreign to their ears.

My eyes widen at all the attention I unintentionally gained. "Woah, what was that?" Hoseok asks curiously.

"Ahri speaks German so well!" Namjoon exclaims as if he would know if someone's German was bad.

"That's so cool!" Jimin smiles and Jungkook nods along with him.

"Why did you leave Germany at such a young age though?" Namjoon asks me another question.

I will never escape the questions of my past.

"I-I—" I think of something to say.

"Look, we arrived!" Yoongi quickly gains the attention back while pointing at the building outside the car.

Finally letting out a breath I've been holding in, I thank him inside my head.

He really saves my ass many times.

As soon as the driver stops, we go outside and enter the building.

Gazing at the cool background with wide eyes, all of us are left stunned.

"Woah!" Hoseok exclaims.

"This is so cool!" Taehyung jumps up and down.

"Glad that you guys arrived safely!" Our manager comes into surface out of nowhere.

"Hello, I'll be shooting your music video today," a middle-aged man soon introduces himself.

We're quick to bow our heads and greet him back, "Hello."

"Let's start, we have a lot to do," Si-Hyuk clasps his hands together and motions us to follow him by his hand.

While we're getting ready, someone films us all the time. "Introduce yourself," the man behind the camera tells me as some of the staff fixes my shirt.

"Right now?" I ask while pointing at the ground. He nods and I clear my throat.

"Hello, I'm Yves," I start but stop myself immediately.

"Wait no," I shake my head, "my real name, my second name, my last name or my stage name? Or maybe only my full name? Or full name with stage name?" I ramble, making the staff laugh.

Staring at them dumbfounded, I mumble, "I'm being serious."

"Do as you want to, Ahri-ah," the man behind the camera chuckles.

"Okay," I smile, "hello, I'm Kim Ahri Yona, my stage name is Yves and I'm the youngest member in BTS."

"Good," the cameraman chuckles.

"Why are you filming?" I ask with big eyes.

"We have to film everything to show it to the fans. You guys do logs too, you know?" He explains.

Staring at him curiously, I shake my head. "I don't know about logs. I've never done them."

"You should do from now on so your fans will get to know you," he nods his head.

"I don't think I'll have fans," I stroke the back of my head, but the stylist is quick to slap that hand away.

"Don't touch your hair," she scolds me.

"Sorry," I mumble, trying to maintain my laughter. I don't know why, but every time someone yells or scolds me I have the urge to laugh.

"She's ready!" The lady who's done with fixing me yells to the others.

I step out and the boys are already waiting for me. "Woah, you guys look amazing!" I exclaim.

"I know right! Look at my chains!" Jimin rushes to me and shows himself off.

"Come here, guys," Namjoon waves a hand and I jog towards where the others are standing.

"This will be our first and most important shooting. We'll do this together, as BTS," he encourages us while everything is being filmed.

This is it.

This is a moment for life, the group has noted.