⋆ ☄︎. · ̊ * 🔭
chapter six

I wake up as if it's an emergency, as if sleeping has become a dangerous thing. My heart beats fast, and there is a buzzing in my brain, and together they are as panic with jump-leads.

Sitting up on my bed, I look around my dorm, breathing heavily.

I just had a nice dream, why did I wake up like that?

I gaze up at the clock on the wall. Gulping, I soon find out that it's 3:22 a.m.

There's something peculiar that sits in my stomach, something that simply won't let me motion peacefully. It's utterly bizarre, and scary, too.

My heart suddenly started to beat rapidly as I try to control my breathing. Breathe in and out.

It's my past, it's my past, it's my past. Just move on, goddammit. I repeat in my head many times, trying to convince myself.

Suddenly, I hear a loud banging noise on my front door. My panic increases and my heart beats unhealthily again.

It's just an illusion. Nothing's real. Life is an illusion. I tell myself, once again, but the thunderous bangs on my door won't stop.

You can do this. You ain't scared of nothing, Yona.

I confidently stand up and make my way to the door.

Looking through the peephole, I recognize Yoongi standing on the other side of it. Oh, and I thought it was someone scary. A sigh of relief leaves me.

I open the door slowly. "What do you want—"

Before I could even finish my sentence, he storms into my room. "What is this, Ahri?" He asks, holding the envelope in his hand.

Gulping, I reply, "an envelope."

His anger increases and his eyes spit out fire. And I can't even see his eyes, it's pitch black in the room. "I know damn well that this is an envelope, but you know what's in here? Money. Money that I don't want!" He raises his voice while throwing the envelope on the floor. "Why don't you just listen?"

For the first time, I feel scared of him. Maybe it's because I felt nervous before he entered, or because he storms into my room at this hour. Maybe it's just him raising his voice at me in general.

"I said that I don't want the damn money. You can do nothing right!" He raises his voice even more.

I cringe as he finishes his sentence. His voice reminds me of someone I wish it wouldn't.

That heartless voice sends her back to places she wishes to never return to. It all replays in her head, and all she can do is watch as everything is repeated over and over again.

An invisible hand clasps over my mouth; an equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierces my heart, unloading in an instant.

I feel my ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate my lungs. My head is a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing my mind into darkness.

My eyes fill up with tears, but they once again won't reveal themselves.

After Yoongi sees my state, his mouth closes in shock and his eyes are wide as if they might pop out.

He slowly takes a few steps towards me. "Ahri?" He calls out for me quietly. My breathing is still rapid as he's standing right in front of me.

"Ahri? Ahri! Breathe in and out!"

My mind is telling myself to listen to him, but my body just won't. It never really does, I have noted.

Yoongi doesn't know what to do. Countless of ideas run through his head, but he's simply a lost man at sea.

Yoongi rubs my shoulders and tells me simple instructions to breathe properly. "Please, Ahri. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you." Although he's panicked, he's still able to keep calm; voice tender. "I won't do it again, I promise."

"I didn't mean it when I said that you can do no right. That's not true. I don't even know you. I'm sorry for judging you, before even getting to know you." Tendrils of regret rush through him. "I was just so angry these past few weeks, and I'm sorry for lashing it out on you. I have to deal with my own problems and shouldn't let them out on others."

My heartbeat slows down with every said word as my breathing normalizes.

"I'm sorry," he repeats for one last time.

Silence fills the room for a few minutes until I decide to break it. "It's fine." I shrug, looking down. "I'm used to it, anyway."

I step back from his warmth. Soon, awkwardness takes place in the room.

He frowns at my saying. Still, he's stubborn about his own beliefs, and so states, "Don't give me the money," before dashing out of my dorm.

Good way to wake up. I nod. It's going to be really awkward with Yoongi the next days. Great job, Ahri.

Since I'm already awake, I decide to clean my tiny home a little. Taking my towel from the door, placing my clothes neatly in my wardrobe and tidying my bed.

It's 5:42 am before I even realize it. Deciding to go to practice early, I head to the boys' dorm. They're most probably awake, I tell myself as I knock on the wooden door.

Jimin pops his head out after opening the door. "Good morning, Ahri," he rubs his eyes.

"Good morning, hyung. I'll leave for practice early, is that okay?" I ask him.

"Really? I wanted to leave now as well. Mind if I join you?" He tilts his head.

"Yeah, of course," I shrug while nodding back.

"I'm going earlier with Yonnie—Bye!" Jimin yells into their dorm to no one in particular.

Both of us step out of the dorm and make our way to the building.

"How do you think our first practice is going to be?" Jimin questions from beside me.

"I don't really know, to be honest." I shrug. "I wonder more about who our choreographer is going to be."

"I wonder about that, too!" He agrees. "Oh, and did your parents sign the contract?"

Shit, I still need to do that. "No," I reply quietly. "I'll tell them soon..."

He doesn't ask anything further about that topic and we talk for the rest of the road to the building.

Soon, we arrive and Jimin leads me to the practice room. "I usually come here earlier and start before the others do," he tells me, sitting down on the floor of the room.

"Guess you're an early bird, huh?" I poke his side with my arm joint.

"Yeah," he mumbles with a weak smile. A pensive look takes over him, and I notice it immediately.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask him worriedly, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm fine," he smiles at me, even though I think it's not genuine.

"Should we start?" I ask, trying to distract him from his thoughts.

"Yes, let's do it!" He gets excited and jumps up. Literally. He just jumped up like that.

"Damn, you're flexible," I compliment him, standing up like every normal human being.

"Thank you, Yonnie!" He sing-songs, drawling the vowels.

Laughing, I take notice on how my compliment has caused his face to flush. "How cute!" I pinch his cheeks without even thinking of the outcomes.

Suddenly, the door is swung open and many people waddle in. Six of my members, my manager, and some staff members are staring at us, wondering what we just did.

"What are you guys doing?" Taehyung asks uneasily, staring at my hands pinching Jimin's cheeks.

"Nothing," we quickly reply and stand up straight.

"Anyway, since everyone's here, we can start our first practice," the manager informs us, and my six members are soon standing beside me and Jimin.

Yoongi and I lock gazes, but quickly avert our stares because of today's incident. His pale face is soon painted with a little tint of pinkness on his cheeks, embarrassed.

"Meet your new choreographer, Son Seung Duk!" Bang Si-Hyuk announces.

All of us bow. "Hello~" we say together.

"We are BTS and I'm the leader, Rap Monster," Namjoon points at himself, "and this is J-Hope, Jungkook, Jin, V, Jimin, Suga and Yves."

"Hello, guys. So, as Bang Si-Hyuk has already said, I'm Son Seung Duk, your new choreographer," he introduces himself.

"And your debut song is going to be named 'No More Dream,'" he states while passing us the lyrics that are written on a piece of paper. "Si-Hyuk has told me that some of the members wrote this song, and the staff just touched up on it a little."

My eyes scan the paper, but it's harder to read than thought. Jimin instantly notices my puzzlement, and reads the lyrics aloud for me quietly.

"Let's start our first practice now, guys," our choreographer announces while clasping his hands together.

First, we're divided into duos and after that, we dance as a whole.

"Woah, you guys look so cool together!" Mr. Son tells us.

To be honest, we do look pretty good together. The hip-hop inspired choreography and song connect very well together. Of course, our positions and looks fit in as well.

After many hours, practice ends and all of us are exhausted. "You did great today, guys. All of you are dismissed," our manager says.

I'm on my way out, but my manager speaks up, "Ahri, could I talk to you for a moment, please?"

Nervously, I nod my head. "Is there anything wrong, sir?" I ask him carefully.

"No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to inform you that you need to attend school. But to do that, we still need your legal guardian to assign the contract. So, please bring the assigned contract tomorrow and you'll be going to the same school as Jungkook," he states.

Biting on my lip nervously, I nod my head. "I'll do that."

"Okay, good. You can go now as well, and please tell the boys that practice is every day, starting at 6 am."

"Okay, will do." I obey and catch up with the boys.

What I didn't know was that someone was eavesdropping while I was talking with Si-Hyuk.

We're at the boys' dorm, all hanging around in the living room. "I'm so exhausted, my legs might fall out," Taehyung complains, hanging his head upside down from the couch.

"Me too," I agree, my head hanging upside down from the coach as well.

"Both of you are so weird," Seokjin grouses.

"What are we going to eat today, Jin hyung?" Jungkook asks excitedly.

"Let's eat some ramen today. I don't have the energy to cook something special," Jin admits.

I suddenly sit up straight, eyes wide. "Wait, what time is it?" I ask in slight panic.

"3:56 p.m. Why?" Hoseok replies, confused.

"Shit, I'm late for work," I hastily make my way out, but not before I trip over an object that's laying on the ground. I kick it away while muttering profanities at the stupid thing angrily.

"No swearing, young lady," Jin scolds me.

"Sorry, hyung," I take my jacket and dash out of the room.

"Since when does she even work?" Jimin asks the others curiously.

Basically running towards the cafe I work at, I open the door quickly and enter the small shop. "Tsk— You're two minutes late, Ahri," Jaehyun states as a matter of fact, rather teasingly than strictly.

"I know, and I'm sorry," I hastily make my way behind the counter and put my apron on.

I stretch my sore limbs from practice as I get ready to work for another five hours.

After getting some more money for my hard work, I tiredly open my front door. I need some rest or I might collapse.

Trekking towards my bed to immediately sleep, I notice a piece of paper on my bed pillow that's holding me away from it. Curiously taking it in my hands, I read it slowly.

It's the contract that my grandmother needs to sign. And it is signed.

"But how—"

My eyes are wide as I think about the only person who did this.

My bed can wait.

Striding to the boys' dorm, I hastily knock on the wooden door many times.

"Who is knocking so god—" he curses as he opens the door, ready to scold anyone who who knocks this annoyingly.

But he can't, because I'm already suffocating him in a tight, impulsive hug as soon as I see him.

His warmth is spreading over my body as I wrap my arms around him. He hesitatingly reaches out for me and embraces me as well. "Thank you so, so much," I exclaim.

He doesn't respond and simply returns the gesture.

That's the day I learned that actions speak louder than words ever could.