OMGGG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER AAAA, I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT

🔹️

Y/N's POV

You couldn't sleep that night. Steve asked if you were alright but all you answered was "yes, I'm fine", even though inside of you a storm wrecked anything and everything you thought you knew.

"They lied to you" her words echoed.

You observed Steve sleep, his peaceful eyes closed, resting his beautiful face next to yours, breathing the same air as his.

He couldn't have lied...No, Steve loved you, he loved you like nobody else did, he was different, he couldn' just lie and then tell you he loved you. That just didn't sound right.

After all, your who was Darcy? She waa the woman who left you when you were barely 16. She disappeared for yeats without even giving a sign if she was still alive, and now, all of sudden, spoke about being part lf Hydra and saying that all my allucinations were true, along with the fact that my friends were in fact my enemies.

Whose words had more value? The words of the woman who left you or the words of the love of your life and friends who stayed by your side?

That seemed like an obvious question...By why you still doubted it inside? Why all the signs indicated you were wrong?

That conflict was killing and torturing yourself fastly...And you had no idea of what to do.

🔹️

Three days passed with this fight inside you, pretending to be fine, faking smiles and not tellinv the truth.

You thought about telling Steve, you thought about talking everything she told you, how it actually made some sense, and how the pieces seemed to fit in each other even though they shouldn't, but you didn't. Something kept holding you from doing it. Soneghing seemed off.

After those 3 days you had another therapy meeting, wich was the last thing you wanted at the moment, but, obligated by Tony, you went.

-So, how are you feeling today Y/N?- Doctor Raynor asked with that serene tone in her voice.

-Good.-You lied wanting to leave that room as soon as possible.

-If you allow me to say...-She tried to be delicate- But you don't appear to be fine.

You sighed irritated, you were not in the mood for that.

-So I don't know how I feel now? I feel great!-You spoke in a slightly louder tine than hers.

-No need to overreact, I'm just havung a conversation with you...

-I. Am. Not. Overreacting. Doctor.Raynor.-You spoke each word clearly to her.

-Alright...

You started shaking your leg nervous, please just finish this appointment.

-So how was it with your mother?-She asked.

-...Excuse me?

-Your mother, she visited you 3 days ago isn't it?

-How do you know about my mother?

-You...Told me.-She seemed to be lying.

-No I didn't. We didn't even have any meetings after she came, just now. And I didn't say it to you.

I observed a cold sweat slide through her face.

-No...You told me...

-No I didn't.-You spoke fiercely.- Who told you?

-Y/N please calm down...

-WHO TOLD YOU DR.RAYNOR?

She gasped in surprise, hands shaking about to press an emergency button on the coffee table.

-Telle or I swear not even the security guards will be able to hold me.

-Alright....!-She stuttered scared- Y-Your boss....Tony Stark...

-He tells you about my life?

-It's...it's just to understand you better...

-What more you talk about with him??

-N-Nothing else...

Her nervous gestures and voice indicated that sentence was false, you didn't know, but it seemed like you heard her thinking "p...please don't kill me..."

-Say it.-You git up from the sofa ans walked towards her.

She pressed the button ans sirens echoed through the building.

-TELL ME NOW!-you stepped with your foot hard at the ground and everything began to shake.

-I-I TELL HIM EVERYTHING!-She yelled desperate- All our meetings! I give him the recordings! Your mental health, secrets, everhthing!

-What about the fucking privacy with the client?!

-I-I'm sorry Y/N...

-That makes so much sense now...-You sighed.-He had this idea...He made you calm me.... he was the one who wanted me to forget everything...

The security guards entered, fastly, tryinh to grab you, but you avoided, standed your arms in the air and they flew away smashing the walls.

Raynor's POV

Shs left like a beast, her eyes with a while glow, you didn't think twice and diealed his number:

-Mr.Stark....We have a problem.

🔹️

Y/N's POV

-Y/N? What are you doing here?-Manuel spoke as you entered like a storm in the bakery.- It's been soong you don't give us news, we were worried...

-I'm sorry Manuel but I'm really husy right now-You interrupted him.

-Y/N's here???-You heard Sarah's excuted voice from the kitchen.- Y/N!

She came to hug but you kept her away. They loomed at you, a mix of sadness and surprise in their eyes.

-I-I can't explain now...Please don't come next to me. It's for your own good.

-What happened to your eyes...?-Manuel asked surprised hugging Sarah.

-My...eyes...?-You stared into a window to see the reflect of you. They were pure white, and not just that, they were so bright, like neon lights.-what...

-Y/N are you okay...?-Sarah asked scared.

-No.

You hushed upstairs and broke your old apartment's door entering and searching.

After messing everything there you've found it.

The drawing you made when you were a child.

The skull with tentacles weren't just that...now you could see clearly, and memories came to your mind.

Flashback:

"A lab, scientists around you, your mother at a corner...

-It will hurt- The doctor said, his face was blurred.

Wait...it's not anymore...it is...his face is..."

-My father.-A single lonely tear fell from your eyes.

"The medications in your house, the strange dialogues, the high expectatives"

-He...He was a scientist. A Hydra scientist...

"Do you still have contact with your father?"

Did Tony knew all this time? It all just seemed to fit now...Your head started aching again.

"The information. Now." You remembered the day at Fisk's tower.

-But...No...That's not what Tony said...

But the flashback wete clear like water, you could remember everything. From your high heels in flames to burning the mafia king's face.

-He...lied...-You couldn't even breath right the whole room around you seemed to spin.

"This power you have..." you could remember Loki's voice like a hidden chapter in your mind. "Incredible" why couldn't you remember that before? "Join me..."
The glass pointed to his throat. "I can read minds" how you didn't have those memories before? "There's so much more inside of you"

-Loki...

"Y/N just stay in this machine" Tony and Bruce said at the lab, making something happen to you..."

After that you didn't seem to have memory from what happened, but now everything came back. Something burned on your neck.

You put your hand at your nape, helplessly tryinh to take it, painfully, something metallic got out, when you looked at it, at your hand, besides blood, there was a chip.

-Oh...Oh My God...-You gasped feeling the tiny piece in your hands.- It can't be...

They erased your memory from Loki. They tried to hide everything from you.

You turned around, the documents you once throwed on the floor now floated in the air in flames, spinning around you.

"You're not normal" your mother told you.

You got out from your apartment, going downstaris running, looked at Sarah and Manuel, still waiting, a little fear but mostly concern in their eyes for you.

-I...I'm sorry...I promise I'll explain to you later.-You spoke and left withoit hearing their respond.

🔹️

You tried to be discrete, walking like a normal person through the hall, avoiding any type of misunderstood.

-Y/N-Happy came to you- What happened at Dr.Raynor's therapy? They said you ran away.

But you could understand what he truly meant: "I need to gain time for the security guards"

-You knew too...-You muttered disappointed.

-What?

-Stay away from me!-You shouted.

-Y/N calm down...

-Don't come next to me!-You standed your arms and Happy was pushed away.

Yiu looked at your hands, how did you do that? How that power came to you? There were so many questions...But you needed to see Tony.

You ran to the stairs, avoiding them purposely stopping the elevator to keep you locked.

Your breath was hard when you arrived in front of his office. You hesitated. The first time you hesitated so much was when you first entered that tower. How destiny was cruel...

You opened the door, Tony stared at you amused.

-Y/N...-He  spoke- You...What happened with Dr.Raynor?

-So she alreasy told you that too. Oh great.-You spoke ironically.- She's a such good professional don't you think?

-Watch your tone.

-SO WHAT?-You yelled.- So you can erase my memory again?!

His eyes just stopped. His face turned into stone. You've never seen Tony like that...like he lost.

-You lied to me...I TRUSTED YOU.-The rage inside of you just growed more and more.

-Y/N you're overthinking again, it's a post traumati-

-POST TRAUMATIC BULLSHIT!-You slammed the desk. And leaned in his direction- Tell me the truth for once! What is happening to me??

-Your mother told you isn't it?

-Does it matter? Just tell me the truth! What is thism..power? You really knew all this time? Happy too? How many people knew about this?

Tony sighed, even though still nervous he spoke:

-I knew...since I hired you, actually the job was an excuse.-He spoke.

-W...What...?-You felt like everything you knew was wrong.

-I made you get fired. I bought the restaurant.

-YOU DID WHAT?

-Please calm down Y/N.

-No! Just....Just talk!

-I discovered...while doing a research at NY population, that atoms movimented too fastly at a certain area, or better, in a person. I started searching about you, any type of register possible. And discovered your father was an old Hydra scientist.

-Oh my...

-I realizedyou could be dangerous, specially if Hydra discovered about you. So made a plan so I could study you better in the Tower. I bought rhe restaurant, madr Pepper keep following you as you tried to find jobs.

-No...

Tony's Falshback:

" -I've found her.-Pepper told you by the phone.- Trying to find jobs with the baker and his daughter.

-Continue after her. When you find the opportunity bump into her and offer her the job of everybody's dream.

-Alright."

Pepper's flashback

"When she walked alone through the streets was opportunity, you acted disctacted and bumped into her, making all her resumés fall on the ground

Sorry!- She spoke trying to catch the papers before they flew away.

-No, I should be the one to apologize, I wasn't looking...- You helped her.- Excuse me, are you looking for a job?"

-It was all a plan...I...I can't believe this....-You spoke holding the tears- I should've known...I...Was so happy for this job...

-You are a great professional Y/N. The best I've ever had.-He tried to get on your good side.

-But you never wanted it. You wanted to know about....whatever I am.

-I...I did...

-Who else knows?

-All the Avengers....except Wanda, Bucky and Peter.

Your knees failed and you had to support on the desk to don't fall. He couldn't be saying the truth.

-A-All of them...?

His eyes showed what you were feeling, he knew why you reacted like that.

-All of them.- He confirmed.

-Steve...Steve knew all this time...?

-He...Actually helped me to keep you under control.

The tears betrayled you, just like everybody else, falling violently through your face. Steve always wanted to make you feel better, always told you that was your imagination, all this time he lied. Keep you under control? What kind of sick joke was that?

Tony stared at his desk and his jaw dropped a little, where your hands standed the desk melted, like you let a toxine get out of them and apply to the material corrupting it.

All of your friends lied. Except Wanda, Bucky and Peter.

-Why the others couldn't know?

-Wanda has...traumatic experiences...instable. Peter is still a kid. Barnes he...He doesn't have good memories with Hydra.

-How many lies did you tell me?

-Y/N...I'm so-

-Did Pepper really go to India?

-No.

-GOD!- You growled.- Where did she go?!

-To...Instanbul. Search answers about you.

-How could you do this to me?-Your voice was shaking.- I...I trusted you....I trusted you like...Like family.

He closed his eyes for a moment, his eyes crystallines with tears too.

-The messages from Hydra...They've never been to you right?-You asked- They were for me.

-...Yes.

-And...And I killed Vincent. I killed him and the guy who fell from the last floor.

-Y/N...

-It was me all this time....-You sobbed.- Why didn't you just told me the truth...?

-I...I was scared of how you'd react.

-Well...I'm sure it would've been better than this.

-Y/N please-

-The therapist brainwashing me...I can't believe this...

-Natssha and I thought it was the best solution for you.

-Natasha agreed with that.-You gave a bitter smile.- I just wanted to understand how...How can you be so cold to do all of this...

-I was doind all of this for your own good..

-No you didn't.-You shaked your had and pointed at him- You just thought about yourself Tony Stark. You thought of what was better for YOU. Lying, manipulating, hiding...

-I wanted to keep people safe.

You git close to his face and stared deeply in his eyes, seeing the bright glow of yours in their reflection.

-You did wrong....You aren't a hero. The Villain here is you.

You got awat from him.

-That liquif on the drawers. The one you said I hallucinated about. What were those?

-Y/N please.....

-Tell me!

His eyes wondering around the room, having no other choice he spoke:

-The last samples of the Project C serum I've found on the lab in ruins.

-The lab I told you about.

-...Yes...This one...

You put your hands in your face, everything seemed unreal, like a nightmare you wanted to wake up. Your heart raced with the adrenaline in your veins.

-Y/N I know it's hard for you to accept this...But...

-What were you planning to do?-You interrupted him.- How long would yoy keep lying? What was your goal?

-I...-He took courage- I was going to give you to S.H.I.E.L.D. I collected information and would handle them the information.

-You'd just give me away like I was an object? What about me? WHAT I WANT?

-As I said, I was thinking about people's safety.

-Fuck you!-You shouted.- I...I hate you! I...I can't believe in this...

He standed up and walked in your direction.

-Y/N let's talk please.

-I talked enough with you.-You replied sharply.- I'm sick of you. All of you.

-I care about you. It must not appear but I do.

-No you don't. Liar.

-Y/N-

You standed your arms in the air, moving alk the furniture in front of him so he couldn't follow you, stuck where he was.

-Stay away from me.-You said and left.

Crying, consumed by that horrible feeling..