FOR-WARNING; mentions of abuse and emotional manipulation throughout this chapter.

• • •

I WALKED into my house tense and I slammed the door shut behind me with a low sigh. I hadn't expected today to spiral as quickly as it did. My mind was constantly replying Barry threatening us to the floor with a gun and the way I ran to his car and fought him — grabbing the gun from the passenger seat and actually pulling the safety off it. I'd never had to do that before and I never wanted to do it again.

And then you had what happened when John B tried to restrain me, that panic attack I had and the memory of those square groupers hovering over us last week. I kept thinking about John B and JJ's argument, the severity of it and the way they fought. In all the years we'd known each other I'd never seen those boys fight like that before. Yeah, they had their spats sometimes but they were always nothing. This was harsh and the words exchanged were damaging, I just hoped it didn't effect their friendship.

The thing I regretted the most though was letting JJ walk away from me. Why an earth did I allow that to happen? Why didn't I chase him down the path. I get that he wanted to be alone but I was worried about him and I had no idea what he was about to go and do with twenty-five thousand dollars. I wished I'd tried harder to stop him from leaving but I gave in. I surrendered and it was something I wish I hadn't done.

I thought today was going to be a good one and it turned out the opposite of how I wanted to. We were supposed to pawn in a slab of gold and get a hefty stack of cash for it but instead all we got was threatened by a drug dealer with a gun who we'd beaten up and robbed. Barry knew us now and he'd know we were the ones who had robbed him. He knew we had three bars of gold melted down into one big chunk and what was stopping him from coming back for it?

If one person was willing to go to that extent to take the gold off us someone else would too and this whole treasure hunt just became a hell of a lot harder.

I opted out of the damage control meeting my friends were having at The Wreck. Instead as soon as we pulled up at the restaurant I got out of the van and I walked home. I didn't say a word to them when I left, I didn't know what to say and so I just walked away. They let me go without a word, they knew themselves that I wanted space and they weren't going to deprive me of that.

"Mal?" My dad shouted through the house, pulling me from my clouded haze of thoughts, "What are you slamming the doors for?"

I cringed, leaning against the wood, "It was an accident." I called back to wherever he was in the house, "Didn't mean it."

I tried to make a getaway to my room but my dad stepped into the hallway, blocking my path, "I need you to go to Heyward's and sell this—" He paused and I tried so hard to hide my face, I knew if I met his eyes I'd start crying in a heartbeat, "Mally, what's wrong?"

My bottom lip trembled as I looked down to my shoes, "Uh, JJ, John B and I got into a fight." I told him vaguely, "JJ bolted, I don't know where he's gone."

I was scared. We robbed a drug dealer, of course that would have consequences. Barry would know it was us, he'd be stupid if he thought it was someone else. My fear was that he caught up to JJ and god knows what would happen — that scared me, terrified me actually and JJ left in a rage. He was angry and angry JJ was never good — he couldn't control his actions.

I hated myself for not trying harder to convince him to stay, for not succeeding in calming him down. I hated myself for taking his independence away, for meddling in his case and trying to pay his restitution for him. I didn't want him to resent me for it but I couldn't help but feel like that's how he was feeling right now. I should've just asked him if what I was doing was all right, involved him more in it and talked to him about whatever was going on but I didn't and I regretted not doing so.

"Mal.." My dad sighed softly, "I know JJ, I know wherever he goes he'll be all right."

I shook my head. He wouldn't be able to convince me and I'd assume the worst until I saw JJ again.

I felt my tears stinging my eyes and my dad closed the space between us, wrapping me up in his embrace but I couldn't open my arms to hug him back. I just rested them against his chest and buried my face into my hands while I cried.

How had I gone from waking up feeling like I was on top of the world — in an official relationship with JJ — to this.. a girl who'd let her emotions get the better of her. But this... this had been building up for some time — this was the square groupers, falling off the boat, mine and Rafe's fight, the concussion. It was Topper pushing John B off the Hawk's Nest, me basically blackmailing him into convincing his mom to drop the charges against JJ. It was JJ's arrest, the memory of Luke Maybank hitting me in the face and not telling anyone it was him. It was finding the gold and then nearly getting shot trying to pawn it. It was mine, JJ and John B's fight.

And it was a whole lot of sleep deprivation.

I didn't want to cry but I was so far past the breaking point now and there was no way I could pull myself back over that line again. I'd been bottling everything up for too long and it was like someone had shook the bottle and unscrewed the cap — the contents inside exploding out of the bottle uncontrollably.

"I should've fought harder to convince him to stay." I cried into my dad's chest.

He rubbed my back, "He's stubborn sweetheart."

"I know." I sniffled, "But I can normally convince him to stay, I—I don't know where I went wrong."

"No." He disagreed with me, "You didn't do anything wrong so don't think that you did."

I pulled away, looking at my dad with a confused frown, "Then why would he leave?"

My dad sighed, pressing his lips together, "Because.. because he's JJ."

I nodded, wiping my eyes. My dad was right. JJ was stubborn and he was headstrong. Once he got an idea in his head he rolled with it and he wouldn't back down. He had to see that his plan worked.

I remembered my dad was talking to me before he found me upset and I tried to compose myself as I stepped away from him, "What, uh.." I cleared my throat, "What were you saying before?"

"I was gonna ask you to take the haul I caught down to Heyward's and sell it over for me." He told me and he patted my shoulder, "But it doesn't matter. You stay here, I'll go down."

"No." I shook my head, "It's fine, I'll go."

"Are you sure?" He asked me, "You don't have to."

I forced a smile and nodded, "Pope'll be there, I'll hang out with him."

My dad nodded down and he smiled at me, "I'll drop you off."

• • •

"Here you go Mally." Heyward said to me as he came out of the back room of his shop, "150 just as your dad and I discussed."

I took the $150 from Heyward and smiled, "Thank you."

"No bother." He replied, "I'll see you later."

Heyward returned inside to his shop and I leaned fully against the wooden fence on the dock out back and dropped my head with a sigh. Pope and Kiara were sat down next to me, swinging their feet back and forth in the water as they dangled. They hadn't seen JJ yet either and looking at my phone it had been almost four hours since we'd split. John B had apparently gone up to Tannyhill with Sarah which meant he wouldn't be searching for him and I didn't know what to do.

I was still trying to wrap my head around the argument we shared. I hadn't seen John B and JJ fight like that — they had their disagreements but it was never as serious as what had just gone down between the two of them.

I felt like a walking bundle of anxiety which was an incredibly strange feeling for me given I'd never really had anxiety before. Although thinking about it now any person would be prone to anxiety if they'd gone through what I had in the past week or so.

"I can't take just sitting here." I murmured.

My friends were silent until Pope responded, "Neither can I but it's JJ. He could be anywhere."

"Hey, it's not the first time he's done this." Kie told us, "And he's got the survival instincts of a cockroach, he'll be all right."

"I'm not sure if that's supposed to make me feel better." I frowned, looking to my friend and watching as she shrugged in response.

"Yeah." Pope nodded, although like me he didn't seem convinced, "It's just comforting to know where he is instead of knowing he's just running around somewhere."

Kie nodded, "With 25K."

"There's a big part of me that's praying he took the money to the station and paid the restitution." I confined in my friends, lacing my fingers together as I looked at them.

"His dad has to pay the restitution." Kie told me.

I looked over to her, "Are you serious?"

"I thought you knew." She replied, pressing her lips together hesitantly.

I exhaled heavily and dropped my head again. JJ going to his dad with 25 thousand dollars and asking him to pay the restitution wasn't going to happen, the man didn't even want to bail him out of jail in the first place. I could imagine Luke Maybank would take the money for himself and use it to buy a lifetime supply of alcohol. It seemed he cared more about getting shitfaced than he did his own son anyways. Hell, JJ even said Barry was and is his dad's dealer — not only does Luke Maybank drink every moment of his life but he also does coke.

He and Rafe would probably get along great.

"Can we at least go look for him?" I asked my friends, "Please."

Kie smiled sadly at me and got to her feet, walking to me and wrapping her arm around me in a side hug. I appreciated the embrace and I rested my head against her shoulder in response, "We'll look for him and then we'll go to John B's so we can figure a plan out for the gold." She told me.

I nodded, I wasn't up for playing mastermind tonight so while they tried to come up with a plan on how to store and keep the gold safe I would sit and listen — or go down to the dock for some peace and quiet.

Yeah, that sounded like the better option.

The three of us climbed into Kie's car and I got into the back, pulling my legs up on the chair and looking out the window. I was so tired, my eyes were burning and my head was throbbing. I just wanted to find JJ and go to bed so I could put this day behind me once and for all.

We went to every place we could think of where JJ could possibly be. He had his hotspots that the three of us knew all about but when he fell short there we searched the whole island but there was still no sign of JJ anywhere. I was nervous before but now I was genuinely scared. We couldn't find him anywhere, what if he was lying in a ditch face down somewhere? What if Barry had already gotten to him? I could feel my hands starting to tremble and I tried to ignore how sick I felt.

We pulled up at the beach, the last place on our list to search and I climbed out of the back of Kie's car. My friends got out too and together we walked down the steps and on to the sand. There were plenty of people about, locals and tourons, and quite a few in the water but not one of them was JJ. This was the last place I thought he would be and he wasn't here. I genuinely couldn't think where else he would be except John B's. If we'd spent the last three hours searching the island for him and he was at John B's all along I'd scream.

"He's not here." Pope sighed disappointedly.

Kie shook her head, "Just one last place now."

"If he's not at John B's I have no idea what I'm going to do." I muttered. I wouldn't be able to rest in any way, shape or form until I knew where he was or at least if he was safe.

I'd tried texting him, I'd tried calling him and if he got back to me and said just give me a few more hours I'd be all right with that because it was a response. It was peace of mind that he was okay wherever he was. I wasn't getting a response and that's what worried me because I knew most parts of the island had cell service now. While I wanted to know where he was so I could go and make sure he was all right I would be satisfied with a response telling me he was okay.

Speaking of cell service, my phone started to buzz in my back pocket and the call tone rang out loudly. Kie and Pope looked to me with wide eyes as I fished for my phone quickly but I sighed in disappointment when I saw it wasn't JJ.

"What the fuck do you want?" I mumbled to myself, accepting the call and holding my phone up to my ear, "What?" I snapped rudely, barely able to hold back the sigh of annoyance that was dying to pass my lips.

Kie and Pope were watching me in confusion with their brows drawn in, "You're robbing from drug dealers now?"

I sighed and ran my hand over my face, "Topper now is not the fucking time." I said in annoyance. Kie's brows furrowed at me, clearly confused as to why Topper was even calling me in the first place.

"Then when is the time?" He argued with me loudly, "You're pulling Sarah into shit she—"

"—I don't care." I snapped, "Stop acting like my mother."

I heard Topper scoff, "Mally I don't think you realise what you've done."

"I know perfectly well that we've done, all right?" I fired at him hotly, "And I'm not about to stand here and listen to you grill me about it. I've had the day from hell."

"This guy is dangerous—"

"—You think I don't know that?" I snapped, "He held a gun to my head six hours ago!"

Topper faulted, "He—he what?"

"Neglect to tell you that, did he?" I asked, "You think we just decided to rob a drug dealer for the crack, huh? A nice little day outing because we were bored?"

"I—I." He stuttered.

"Topper, I don't have time to talk to you right now." I told my stepbrother.

"Gi—give me the phone, bro." I heard Rafe order and I only rolled my eyes. Talking to Rafe was the last thing I wanted to do today.

"I'm not talking to Rafe about this drug dealer." I told Topper firmly.

"All right—Rafe, lay off, man. She doesn't wanna talk to you." Topper said, talking mostly to Rafe.

"I'm hanging up now." I said to Topper bluntly.

He replied quickly, "No, wait—"

"— Look, I've got bigger things to deal with right now." I said to him curtly before hanging up. I was half expecting him to call me right back straight away but he didn't and I put my phone back into my pocket with a low sigh.

I looked between my two friends, "Come on." I muttered, "Let's just get to John B's."

• • •

When Kie pulled up outside our friends house it was dark and the sun had long set over the horizon. We'd drove around the Cut looking for JJ one final time but we knew we wouldn't find him in the dark. I didn't want to stop looking but trying to find him now was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I felt like I was abandoning him or something and it didn't sit right with me at all. In this moment I felt useless, the feeling was horrible and I hated moping around but at the minute I was in such a negative headspace and I didn't know how to pull myself out of it

I just hoped JJ was either already here at John B's, fishing on the dock or chilling out on the hammock smoking a joint.. but if he wasn't I just hoped he'd turn up later on.

When Kie pulled the keys from the ignition she turned in her seat to face me, "John B told us about what happened." She told me gently and I looked away from the window and to her.

Pope too turned in his seat to face me with a sympathetic smile on his face, "Yeah, it makes sense why you bolted in the cemetery."

Kie nodded in agreement, "And I feel bad for forcing John B to come and ask you to tag along that night, if I'd of known—"

"—It's all right." I interrupted her quietly, "I swear." They both nodded and I took my belt off, "Let's go and sort this plan out, yeah?" I posed, opening the door and trying to change the subject. I didn't want to talk about it at the moment.

"Yeah." Kie agreed as she got out and closed her door behind her, "God knows how long it's going to take."

Pope closed his door and we started a slow walk round the back of John B's, "It's the last thing I wanna think about now but we've gotta get it done."

I nodded but my mind was still on JJ, "Do you think he would've gone home?" I asked my friends.

They didn't reply for the longest time until Kie sighed, "I think it's the last place he'd of gone."

"I fucking hope so." I replied quietly. The thought of JJ going home just didn't sit right with me, I knew what his dad was like. Every time he went home he came back with a bust lip or a bruised cheek. The proof was in the pudding from what happened after Luke bailed him out of prison. He abused JJ and I hated it, I hated I couldn't help him either.

"You really don't like his dad do you?" Pope asked me curiously.

"I hate the son of a bitch." I muttered, "He, uh.."

"He what?" Kie pressed lightly, looking to me.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at my friends either side of me. I cleared my throat and pointed to my cheek, the now clear area of skin under my eye where it was once purple and red, "You see this— this spot right here?" I asked them.

Pope's eyes widened as he easily put two and two together, "JJ's dad was the one who hit you?"

"There's only me and JJ who know." I responded, "I knew my mom would want to press charges."

"So why didn't you let her?" Kie asked me.

"I dunno." I sighed. It would've been so easy thinking about it now. Peterkin would've been on mine and JJ's side but it was seeing if he wanted to press those charges on his dad as well. As much of shit father he is to him I didn't want to take JJ's only immediate family member on the island away. I'd feel like a terrible person if I'd done that without giving him the choice. I know Luke Maybank was a terrible person but I knew somewhere deep down JJ still loved his dad no matter how many times he rose his hand to him. It was heartbreaking but it was true.

He'd grown up from a young age thinking it was the normal for his dad to hit or beat him whenever he did something remotely wrong. He was only a child, he didn't know any different and because of that his love for his father never faulted. It just made JJ want to be an even better version of himself for his dad. He wanted nothing more than for Luke to be proud of him, not beat him for minuscule reasons.

Luke was really a scumbag. I detested the man, my father did, my mother did, Pope's parents did, Big John did when he was around because of everything he had put JJ through. He openly blamed JJ for his mother's reasoning behind leaving the island — he said it to JJ's face, he manipulated him into believing his mother abandoned him because she didn't like him and as a child that's hard to live with. He beat him and told him go take it like a man, instilling the notion that his beatings were justified and would help build his character — that it would help JJ to become a better person later on in life when in actuality it wrecked him.

The only thing Luke Maybank deserved was his death and I know that was harsh but it was the truth. He was a piece of shit and he put JJ through so much unnecessary trauma.

I'd never forget the day JJ showed up at John B's place when we were eleven, proud of the bust lip his father had given him after the three of us had gotten suspended from school. He thought it was all right to be beaten and when he asked John B and I where our bruises were I remember the glass that Big John had been holding shatter on the ground after he dropped it in shock of what he'd just said. When I was younger I didn't really understand what JJ meant by his words or why he looked so happy to have the split on his bottom lip but I understood it perfectly now.

He thought his dad hitting him — 'punishing' him — was a good thing because it was helping shape him into a better person.

Luke Maybank was a manipulator.

It was all so wrong.

"I'd rather just talk about the gold, all right?" I said, pulling myself from my hatred filled thoughts as I unclenched my jaw, "If we see JJ don't say I told you guys." I said to my friends.

Kie shook her head, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, "We won't."

"Only if you're sure?" Pope asked and when I nodded he did too before pulling us back on to the track of recovering the gold, "So we'll have to be done before my scholarship interview."

"Okay, well, we gotta focus." Kie said and I nodded in agreement.

"It's gonna be fine. We got John B and JJ inside the well and me up top." Pope told us, "You two and Sarah will be outside transporting."

I nodded, "We've got this, guys." I said confidently, "All we have to do is avoid Crain."

My friends and I laughed quietly, "So I got a winch in my truck, it can hold over 200, 300 pounds." Pope said to us.

"Great." I nodded.

"Uh, Pope?" Kie asked and we both looked to her as we walked round to the back porch.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." She told him.

His brows furrowed, "Uh, what for?"

"Stranding us." Kie replied, "Making us, making me and Sarah make up." She said, pointing between she and I.

"What makes you think that was me?" Pope asked with an arched brow and a knowing smile. We knew it was most likely Pope's plan.

Before we rounded the corner of the chateau I heard an engine whirring and golden fairy lights lit up around us, hanging in the trees and illuminating the dark yard. I furrowed my brows and looked around in confusion, "Uh.."

"What the hell?" Pope asked as confused as I was.

"Who the hell is that?" Kie asked and we walked round the chateau to the back.

Our strides slowed when we got our first look at the back of John B's back yard and my lips parted in what I assumed was shock. The entire thing was decked out with fairy lights, all of different colours hanging around the yard and under the tree was a huge black hot tub and sat in that hot tub was JJ.

There was this small voice in the back of my head telling me to be angry seeing him sat there but I pushed her into a locked box and ignored her.

As confused as I was I was massively relieved to see JJ sitting in the hot tub.

He popped a cork on what looked like a bottle of champagne as Kie, Pope and I stood in front of the hot tub and Pope's eyes widened, "What did you do, JJ?"

He pulled the blackout sunglasses down his nose a little to look at us as his damp hair hung loosely over his face, "I got a jet going straight into my butt right now." He told us in amusement, "Y'all should get in immediately, you hear me?"

He grabbed two plastic flutes that were inside small flamingo drinks inflatables and filled them with the champagne, tipping some of the alcohol into water with him.

"Salud!" He cheered, drinking from the bottle. I didn't miss how he slurred his words, JJ had been here for a while and he was absolutely wasted.

"How much did this cost?" Pope asked him as he slowly stepped forwards while looking around dumbfounded.

"Uh.." JJ trailed off, circling his pointer finger in the air while looking around, "With the generator, the petrol and oh, hey, express delivery.. pretty much all of it, yeah." He nodded.

"Oh, god." I sighed under my breath, running my hand over my face. I had been so hopeful he would've paid his restitution like he said he was going to but here we were.

"All of it?" Pope's eyes widened.

"Yeah." He nodded bluntly, "All of it."

"You spent all the money in one day?" Kie snapped.

"Yeah, burned a hole right through my pocket." JJ nodded with a laugh, "But I mean, like, come on guys! Look at this! Finest in jet-based massage therapy, that's what they told me."

I looked around at the floats in the water, holding the empty champagne flutes and ran my hand through my hair in between my friends.

"Kie what?" JJ questioned with hostility, "Can't a man have a little luxury in his life? Come on, all this scrimpin' and scrapin'." He said, taking the sunglasses off and holding them with his free hand. He wore a gold chain around his neck instead of his shark tooth necklace, "I mean, like... guys we—you only live once, right?"

He was starting to get emotional, I could tell by the way his voice was straining and starting to crack and I don't think I'd ever seen him like this before. JJ had drank himself into some states in the past but he'd never been this wasted.

"JJ—" I mumbled but he wasn't having any of it.

"—Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat's Ass. Come on." He ushered.

"In the what?" Kie asked lowly.

"The Cat's Ass." He grinned, "That's what I named her." He looked proud of himself, so proud as he looked around and it was breaking my heart. His heart was in the right place but his head was not, "Oh hey, yo, I almost forgot." He clicked a switch on the side of hot tub and the jets started firing up into the air, a disco ball above him illuminating, "Yeah, that's right, I know. Disco mode! That's right baby."

"Are you kidding me?" Pope asked in disbelief, "You could've paid for restitution!"

"Or literally given it to any charity!" Kie snapped.

JJ pinched the bridge of his nose and I watched him. I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't think we could say anything to get through to him right now but Pope and Kie were going to keep on trying.

"Or better yet, could've helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out of the well!"

"Okay, well, you know what? I didn't do that!" JJ yelled in annoyance and he stood up. He'd had enough of their grilling and if I was him in the line of fire I would have as well. It was why I kept my mouth shut instead of rep-reminding him.

I don't know why but the first thing I looked at what his stomach. Maybe I was going to check him out even though I shouldn't of been in this situation but I did and I wish that I hadn't.

JJ had three big bruises on his stomach, two on his left side and one across the right side of his abdomen. They were black and purple, abundantly clear against his skin and the sight — seeing them on him made me feel sick to my stomach. It caused my breath to hitch in my throat and I stepped back slowly, in shock with the injuries and I kept starting at them, raising my hand to my open mouth to cover it.

"I got a hot tub!" JJ told us emotionally and I couldn't look anymore. I turned to the side and forced myself to look away from his bruised stomach and instead I looked at Kie while I covered my face with my hands.

It was clear now that JJ had in fact gone home.

I hated seeing him like that. It made me feel like I hadn't done my job in trying to protect him. Yeah, in fictional relationships it was the mans job to protect the woman but I wanted to protect JJ. He protected me too, we protected each other. That's just what we did and seeing him beaten and bruised again made me feel like I'd failed at the one thing I was supposed to do.

Why hadn't I followed him at Barrys? Why did I let John B stop me from following him? I could've easily of pushed him away and followed after JJ and then I might've been able to work up a solution. I might've been able to stop JJ from going home — from going to his dad.

Had he tried to pay the restitution or had Luke just laid into him, gone in for a round two for getting arrested in the first place?

"I got a hot tub for my friends!" JJ told us again, clutching to the bottle of champagne and I looked towards him again as tears rose to his eyes. His bottom lip started to tremble, "You know what? Screw friends, I got a hot tub for my family!"

"JJ, what the hell?" Kie asked him quietly, in the same state of disbelief as me.

He started to get emotional again and his voice cracked, "I got this for you guys. Look what I did for you, all right? Look at this, look at it!"

His heart was in the right place but he wasn't.

"J." I murmured, looking at his bruises again.

"No, you stop being emotional!" He cried, eyes meeting mine as he pointed at me, "It's fine, okay?"

I shook my head, tears burning my eyes again for the fourth time today, "It's not fine." I told him softly as I shook my head, "This is not all right."

He just looked down, crying, "I mean, it's sweet right? Everything— you guys just get in." He muttered.

I took my phone out of my back pocket and the money for my dad and dropped it to the floor carelessly before walking over to the hot tub and climbing in. JJ just watched me silently as I swung my legs over and into the hot tub and I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck and head tightly. I pulled him towards me, embracing him and he wrapped his arms loosely around me, dropping his head to my shoulder as he put all his weight into me.

"I just couldn't do it." He cried into my shoulder.

I nodded, feeding my hands through his damp hair, "I know." I sympathised quietly, a tear rolling down my cheek and dropping to the bare skin of his shoulder, "I know."

I'd never seen him appear so broken before. He was usually the one who kept us all going, kept us all in good spirits. JJ hid his pain so well we hardly ever saw it and because of that we couldn't help him with it.

He just held me, sobbing and I tried my best to sooth him when I was breaking down with him. For once he deserved to be the one to be held, to be supported instead of being the supporter. He needed this and I was going to help him.

"I just can't take him anymore." He told me, crying through his words and I hugged him tighter, pressing a kiss to his temple as he talked about his dad.

"It's all right, J." I whispered to him, "Okay, you've got me. You've got us."

He shook his head into my shoulder, "Mal, I was gonna kill him."

You should've.

That's what I wanted to say to him but I couldn't, it wouldn't make him feel better and that what my focus was at the moment. Instead I just ran my fingers through his hair, "It's all right. It's okay." I mumbled to him, burying my head into his neck as he hung off me, "You're gonna be all right."

Kie climbed into the hot tub silently and she wrapped her arms around us and in turn Pope followed her. The four of us hugged each other tightly, JJ's cries and the sound of the jets filled the air and I closed my eyes in the moment.

"I just wanna do the right thing." He muttered emotionally, tightening his embrace on me. He gripped my waist firmly, as if he was scared if he loosened up that I would disappear.

I nodded, "I know.. I know."

"I'm so sorry." He apologised to us, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise." Pope told him quietly.

I nodded in agreement, "You didn't do anything wrong, babe." I said to him, "None of this is your fault."

JJ slowly lifted his head from the crook of my neck, his eyes rimmed red and his cheeks stained, "You promise?" He asked me.

I met his eyes and bit my bottom lip to stop it from trembling as I looked to the broken person in front of me. I forced myself to nod, a tear slipping down my cheek, "I promise."

• • •

A/N; that was a hard one to write, I just hope I did it justice.