:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ﾟ
CHAPTER FOUR
━━✦👺🩸🎈

don't be worried if things confuse
you for a while, everything will
be explained furthermore!

disclaimer : bts are annoying
bitches in this. read with awareness.

PLEASE COMMENT / VOTE
IF YOU LIKE MY BOOK

A smile spreads on his face as he looks at her, seemingly warm and loving. While he chuckles at her funny words, he moves a few strands of hair out of her face.

"Cut!"

Immediately, his smile falls, just as his so-called warmth does. Taehyung doesn't spare to give Sandara another glance before moving seats to talk to his other members.

Sandara sighs lightly. If she knew that things were to end the way they did, she would've been in another company, or even worse - would've listened to Lijun's advice of simply not becoming an Idol.

"Sandara," he calls out to gain her attention. "We have to leave for your photoshoot now."

Nodding her head, Sandara lazily stands up and follows her manager, a worn-out expression on her face. She doesn't bother saying goodbye to her members, knowing that they wouldn't care anyway.

"Everything all right?" asks her manager, as they're both seated in his car. "You don't look quite happy for someone who debuted a few days ago."

"I'm fine, Daewon," Sandara mumbles. She rests her head on the window, signaling to her manager that she isn't in the mood to talk. He gets the message, nodding silently and continuing to drive the car.

Daewon tries to come up with ideas to brighten her mood, unfolding all the chapters in his mind. "Have you seen all the comments about you? They all think that you're pretty and have a very beautiful voice!"

"They do?" asks Sandara with much uncertainty. Her head turns to his direction slightly, cheeks heating up. While Daewon nods, smiling, she adds, "I didn't really have a lot of time to look at the comments because of my schedule and all..."

His lips curl downward at that, glancing at her for one time in concern. "We can eat at your favorite place after the photoshoot, if you'd like to..."

"What about my diet? Those meals don't really fit in with my plan," she replies, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Sighing, Daewon says, "Your body is fine, San. No one ever told you to lose weight. Si-Hyuk himself said that he doesn't want you to diet because of how unhealthy it is."

"I don't know." Her voice is small and restrained. "Maybe I should just go straight to my studio after the photoshoot."

"You need to go to an award show, though," he reminds her, raising his brows knowingly. "It's currently 10:38 am. The show is on 4:00 pm, and your photoshoot will most probably finish in around two to three hours - depends on how good the pictures will come out."

She massages her temples, sensing the upcoming headache with ease. "And I have to practice before that with my members as well, am I right?"

"Yes," is all Daewon says, being aware of her awkward relationship with the members.

He doesn't know why they're acting that way toward her - nor does Sandara, to be completely honest - considering that she's being respectful and nice to every staff-member and to everything that breathes in general.

"Sometimes, I just want to go back home..." Sandara whispers more to herself than to her manager, her voice detached.

"Try to see the bright side!" Daewon heard her mumbles words, and attempts to make her feel better, once again. "You've already made fans, the media is amazed by your wide vocal range, and you've made friends!"

"More like enemies than friends..."

━━✦

"You're doing it wrong again, Sandara!" His voice is raised and is laced with annoyance. "You step to the side when Namjoon is done, not while he's still rapping. If you do that on the stage, you'll embarrass the whole group!"

"I'm sorry..." mumbles Sandara, head hanging low. "I'll try it again."

One of them mutter aside, "And do it right this time."

As she does the right move this time, Hoseok still shakes his head. "You need to let your body loose. The way you do it is just too stiff."

This time, Sandara tries to follow his orders of being less uptight, but fails to do so. "We're performing soon, and she can't even do that," Jeongguk says to the others while scoffing, walking away right after.

There is a tightness in her throat. Her lungs feel as elastic as old underpants - just sagging instead of contracting for the next breath.

Someone watches the scene with meanly squinted eyes. Cooly, he walks toward the group and says, "If you don't mind, I need to take San because of her messed-up hair."

The boys don't even bother to properly respond - simply not caring. He rolls his eyes at their reaction and leads the way for both of them.

"Why do they keep on treating you like this?" He asks as they're finally alone, fixing her dark, long hair in the process. "More likely, why do you allow them to treat you like this?"

"What am I supposed to do, Haruko?" Sandara questions back, gazing at her hair-stylist with a tired expression through the mirror. "I don't want any stress. I just want peace."

Haruko simply shakes his head, watching her in slight worrisome. "You're good-hearted, and that's not an advantage in this business," he states quietly, but she doesn't hear it.

"BTS is on in 120 seconds!"

Legs wobbly, Sandara stands up, sighing. Haruko smiles lightly, hand on her shoulder, as he says, "Make me proud. And if someone asks about your hair, say that the infamous Katayama Haruko did it."

"So you'd switch me up with a different Idol at any time?" Sandara jokes around, a false hurt expression stained on her face.

"Duh." Haruko rolls his eyes. Yet he chuckles and shoves her shoulder playfully. "Of course I wouldn't. You're our Painite, after all."

[ A/N: painite was once the rarest gem ]

Up until now, Sandara's head was hanging down all along, but as soon as she's on the stage, a different side of her is activated. A seductive look takes over her striking features, captivating the people watching her.

Her moves may not be as sharp as the ones of the best dancers of the group, but her facial expressions sure do add quite a few points.

As her part comes up, she positions herself to the center. With much ease, her voice goes high and hits notes that none of her members would be able to do.

Other Idols are left with ajar lips, some mouths even hanging open, whilst they watch her beautiful self sing that song with such an alluring and feathery voice - all of them simply stunned.

Breaths heavy, the group leaves the stage and get treated by the staff immediately.

"You did great, Sannie!" The girl smiles brightly, dimples poking into her skin, while fixing Sandara's sweaty face. "I thought you were going to kill me with your stares!"

For the first time of the day, Sandara smiles. "You're going to make me blush, Junha..." Shyly, she looks down while chuckling.

"All the Idols were gawking at you!" Still, Junha doesn't stop praising her employer, more likely, her good friend. She winks at Sandara while whispering secretly, "Trust me, I've seen the way EXO was looking at you, and let's just say that their—"

Almost immediately, Sandara walks away form Junha, fingers in her ears while screaming out a melody.

"You can't hide from boys for the rest of your life!" shouts Junha from behind Sandara.

"Watch me," Sandara sing-songs. She turns around while walking, sticking out her tongue at her friend in a childish manner.

Suddenly, her back collapses against someone way taller - considering her small height as well - and she immediately spins around and bows politely. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going—"

"It's fine." At the sound of the familiar voice, her head whips up at his incredibly tall figure and she gapes.

He smiles sweetly, making his dimples evident. Then, he holds a beautifully decorated bag in front of her. "We wanted to congratulate you on your debut."

"I—" Sandara's eyes are about to pop out, mouth hanging open.

Even though it seems incredibly hard to, Sandara composes herself and smiles gratefully, bowing once again. "This is really sweet of you guys. Thank you so much."

"It's nothing, really," he responds, scratching the back of his head coyly. Just as Sandara is about to bid farewells, he hands her a packed sandwich over.

"What's this?" She asks obliviously, frowning while accepting it.

But he shrugs while smiling. "I thought that you were hungry and got you one of the sandwiches from here."

The smile is still painted on her face, feeling all warm inside because of his genuinely sweet gestures. "Thank you so, so much. Please tell EXO that I'm really grateful as well."

━━✦

"Why do you have so many sandwiches...?" asks Junha in concern as soon as she sees Sandara.

Sandara struggles to carry the large amount of sandwiches in her hands. "I-I don't know. I got them all while coming here."

"Oh, my God. Don't tell me that this is..." Haruko's eyes widen, gazing at Junha in a knowing manner.

Daewon comes to help immediately, placing the packages on the table of Sandara's personal room. "Who gave you all of this?" He asks in curiosity, eyebrows furrowed.

Shrugging, Sandara plops down on the seat beside Haruko and start to unpack one of them. "I'm not quite sure. To be honest, I don't really care right now, because I'm hungry."

After a few moments of munching on the sandwich, Sandara's eyebrows furrow, and she slows down her eating. "This tastes weird..." remarks the singer innocently.

Sketchily, she fishes out a small piece of paper out of the sandwich. "What in the...?"

Haruko snatches the paper while Junha and Daewon are gawking at it behind him curiously. He starts laughing, asking her, "Who gave you this specific one, Sannie?"

"I think..." She starts thinking deeply, a frown on her forehead. "Oh, right! It was Jun from Seventeen! He came up to me and said very sweet things to me and gave me this sandwich afterward!"

"Well, looks like he's got a little crush on you..." mutters Haruko, chuckling.

Her eyes widen, laughing awkwardly. "What? No. Why would he?"

"Because he gave you his number..." states Junha, a smile on her face. She starts rummaging through the huge amount of sandwiches. "Just like all of these other idols."

"This one is from..." Junha opens the package and picks up the pink paper. "Kihyun of Monsta X! Damn, girl, you've got all the tall boys swarming for you."

They keep on looking through the packed sandwiches, laughing at Sandara's red cheeks and hiccups.

But Junha's eyes pop out of her skin as she screams out, "PARK CHANYEOL?"

"WHAT?" Sandara yells in the same tone. She trips over herself whilst intending to snatch the paper away from her friend to check if it's really him.

Blinking dumbly, Sandara examines the sweet note of his while her lips are gaping open. "I—"

"Could you guys please focus on the important things right now?" Daewon tries to bring the attention back on the actual business, annoyed. "There are still a lot of schedules that need to be discussed."

"Chill, dude." Haruko rolls his eyes at his seriousness. "It was so boring before San become an Idol. We had to talk about schedules - about a lifestyle that she wasn't even a part of yet."

"Well, Katayama Haruko, now she is a part of that lifestyle." Daewon shoves away the hairstylist's legs, which were carelessly laying around on the table, in irritation. "Which means that things will get more stressful, more important, and more needed to be done."

A sigh escapes Sandara's lips as she senses Haruko being ready to fight back. "He's right, Haru. It's not going to be as—"

In a sudden, the door is slammed open. A familiar figure stands in the doorway while stating coldly, "Get ready. We're leaving." Namjoon leaves right after.

"He doesn't even know how to knock," says Junha, evidently irritated. "I swear, he's nice to everyone except for our Sannie."

Sandara's eyes stay keen on the closed door for a bit too long. The group notices her deep-in-thought expression and look between each other in attempt to find something to do.

"Hey, San," mumbles Haruko, nudging her side. "You okay?"

Coming back to reality, Sandara flinches slightly, but nods her head while putting a smile on right after. "Yeah. I'll have to leave now, though. Thank you guys."

Before Sandara exits the room, she waddles back and snatches one of the phone-numbers. "I'll take this one real quick."

Then, she's gone.

"She took Chanyeol, right?" asks Daewon in disappointment, sighing.

"Yep," Haruko and Junha respond in unison, nodding.

━━✦

The darkness swirls around her curled form on her bed, tendrils of inkling bleak reminders of her solitude. The silence echoing in her ears is the constant white noise that never shuts up.

"Now you know," he says, his voice ice-cold and void of any emotion. "Now you know how it feels like to be hated by everyone for being you."

His tall figure stands there, staring at her with empty eyes. "This is what you get. This is what you deserve."

Her head swims in the fire burning inside, the only smouldering embers of a time where there had been other presences with her, around her, in her.

But now, the void has been slowly filled with a cold, howling storm of fear that refused to ever let up. She is completely and utterly alone in her mind, body, soul, and most of all, entirely alone in the world.

━━✦

( SAN'S TEAM ! )
THE OTHER CHARACTERS
WILL BE INTRODUCED AS
THE STORY MOVES ON

MANAGER

NAME ; Choi Daewon ( 최대원 )
ZODIAC ; virgo
AGE ; 30 | 1989
HEIGHT ; 6'0 ft | 1,83m

❝you look really hot right now...❞
❝that's it. i'm calling lijun.❞
❝no, wait—❞

HAIRSTYLIST

NAME ; Katayama Haruko ( 片山春子 )
ZODIAC ; libra
AGE ; 25 | 1994
HEIGHT ; 5'9 ft | 1,76m

❝shut up or i'll leave you
bareheaded and call it fashion.❞

FASHION-STYLIST

NAME ; Ahn Junha ( 안준하 )
ZODIAC ; pisces
AGE ; 23 | 1996
HEIGHT ; 5'6 ft | 1,68m

❝okay, but why you gotta be so cute.❞
❝im literally just standing here, san.❞
❝yeah, but why.❞

- - -

What are your thoughts on San's team?

━━✦

( INSTAGRAM ! )

51,829 likes
san.bighitofficial Hello! I'm Na Sandara, you may know me as San from BTS!
This is my official account, alongside with my twitter one (san_twt)
I will keep you updated about my life. And, don't worry, my company doesn't run this page, I do!
Please accept me! 😊

View all 32,926 comments
iluvkookie Why did BigShit decide to add a new member, might I add a GIRL, to the group?!?
dandelionsjin She's so pretty!! 😍
somelocal i saw your blood, sweat & tears performance, and fell in love with your voice! keep up the good work, san!
taehyungiebear lmao nah we ain't doing this shit
yourstar.lian you look like my sister lol

52,949 likes
san.bighitofficial I posed like this for two minutes straight, and you best believe that my arm started hurting right after...

saunny she's so innocent i nEED TO PROTECT!1!1
edgelordlmao damn girl you look elephant in this picture
edgelordlmao *ELEGANT
edgelordlmao I MEANT ELEGANT

( EXTRAS ! )

1,284 likes
yourstar.lian outside with my least favorite brother!!

View all 173 comments
hanluon but you only have one brother
yourstar.lian @/hanluon exactly.

936 likes
yourstar.lian @ my sister since she's not responding to my messages: remember when you used to live with us, sandman? i don't either bitch now come back before i tell lijun your secret about the cockroach and his pillow

View all 123 comments
mamamiabro who's the one on the right??
yourstar.lian @/mamamiabro a bitch
mamamiabro well does a bitch have an account??
yourstar.lian how dare you call him a bitch tf. do it one more time and it's on sight.

1,473 likes
yourstar.lian note to self: never take a picture of lijun.
note to future self: never actually post a picture of lijun.

View all 198 comments
jonghyunbebe is THAT your brother?
yourstar.lian yeah he's a lil bitch
jonghyunbebe does he have an account?
yourstar.lian lmao nah
jonghyunbebe why :(
yourstar.lian he hates social media. he thinks he's edgy like that so pls don't mind his low amount of brain cells.

1,792 likes
yourstar.lian if life gives you lemons, pls give them to me because i'm broke and can't afford lemons anymore to add them to my strawberry cake

sancutie OMG!!! You look SO much like San from BTS!! You're almost IDENTICAL!! You could be her brother! 😱
yourstar.lian omg really?? :o i get that SO many times, but i don't personally think that we look alike!! i-i'm blushing 😳😳 imagine being the brother of THE san!! her real brother must be really handsome, brilliant, talented, fabulous, and a literal star who's good at everything and loved by everyone because he's a star!! i bet he's the most handsome man alive! 😍😍

( YOUTUBE ! )

( INCORRECT QUOTES ! )

[ sounds of police sirens nearby ]
san, who has never done anything bad in her entire life: oh no
san: they've found me
lian, from the distance: damn who snitching on me?!

lian, on a balcony: *sneezes*
lijun, on a balcony above him: bless you
lian: god????

lian: do you ever wanna talk about your emotions, lijun?
lijun: no
san: i do—
lian: i know, san.
san: i'm sad—
lian: i know, san.

lijun: shouldn't you be asleep?
lian: i should be a lot of things
lian: i live to disappoint

san, crying:
lijun: WHO THE FUCK HURT YOU
san: could you, like, not shout? that hurts my ears
lijun, facing himself in the mirror: that was a really fucked up thing for you to do, you know?

san: ...could you look for monsters under my bed?
lian: the monsters don't live under our beds, they live inside of us
san:
lian, kissing her forehead: sweet dreams, sannie

interviewer: what is it like to live with your siblings?
lijun: imagine living with completely civilized, responsible, and mature people
interviewer: okay
lijun: now imagine the complete opposite. there you have your answer.

lian: *sees a bee on lijun's arm*
lian: *rolls up newspaper*
lian: *uses it as a megaphone*
lian: THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOUR ARM!

lijun: my stomach growled super hard in french omg
lijun: i would like to clarify that my stomach did not growl in french. it growled in french class, i apologize.
lian: bonjour
san: le growl
lian: hon hon hon feed me a baguette
lijun: why do i even talk to you guys

lian: *wearing a shirt that says "if lost, pls return to lijun"*
lijun: *wearing a shirt that says "i'm lijun but i don't want him, hand over to san"*
san's shirt: "i'm san"

the san siblings are the
typical positions in the family

lijun, the eldest - smartest, everyone relies on him, high expectations from everybody, is mature but likes more to be a baby, seems like he has everything under control but is actually stressed and a whole mess
lian, the middle child - gets shit from everyone for breathing, on crack, dumb and purposely scary, if something happens it's lian's fault, the disappointment of the family
san, the youngest - gets away with everything, everyone's a softie for her, annoying lil bitch, cute, little devil to her siblings, sometimes the responsible one, learns to be a crackhead from the middle child but eldest tries to keep her on the right track

( AUTHOR'S NOTE ! )

ok so,,,, i wanted to update this chapter 3 weeks ago but i kinda didn't? i don't even know why lol. i just felt lazy every time i wanted to update it. sorry for that 🥴

oh and the next chapters will obviously be more about bts but this is like an introduction to san's life and all