'If it destroys you... it's not love'

Jasper:

Jasper watched from the stairs as Alice said goodbye to Spencer and Lydia, keeping a polite expression in case one of the humans turned around to glance at him. 
None of them did, but it was the thought that counted.
Alice's emotions had been trivial ever since her vision and the hissing argument between her and Spencer. 
Jasper was curious, it couldn't be his father since sending him home wouldn't have been her choice, but something bad would've happened if he turned up to ballet. 
He waited for Alice to shut the door then watched as she let out a short breath before turning around and looking at him.
Without a comment, she turned around to the kitchen. 
Jasper followed.
Throughout being with Alice, he had seen her through many states, stressing over his diet, excitement over what outfit to wear, starstruck when she saw the curly haired boy behind the counter... never conflict.
"Would you like to talk about it?" He asked, unsure if he meant the vision or her emotions though both would suffice.

Alice looked at him briefly, stopping her cleaning on the countertop where Lydia had accidently spilled her drink slightly.
"I would, but it might affect you," She admitted, her eyes dauntingly capturing his.

Jasper frowned but walked forward, sitting on the stool opposite her, leaning his forearms on the counter top.
"How so?"

Alice took a breath, pondering if telling Jasper would be the best decision.
She was aware that he had every right to know, but she didn't want to bring on the emotions that he was pushing down. 
Jasper would struggle at this news.
"Maria,"

His look hardened immediately.
"What about her?" So did his voice.

"I'm not sure exactly," Alice put the tissue in the bin then fiddled with her fingers, "She was going to show up at Spencer's ballet,"
Jasper looked away from her.
Maria was in town. 
What was she doing here? What did she want? Why was she going to be at Spencer's ballet or was it just a pure coincidence?
No.
Nothing was ever a coincidence with that woman.
"I've never met her so it's hard to see her choices, but I was looking at Spencer's and saw--"

"It's because of me she's here," 
Jasper was so sure, and he hated it.
Could he not live in peace without her turning up to ruin it? 

"No, it can't be. You left her in 1940," Alice reached out to grab his arm but Jasper pulled away quickly, avoiding her gaze.
Alice pursed her lips but didn't say anything regarding it.
"She should've gotten the hint,"

"Alice, when you're in a situation where you've got rose tinted glasses on for a manipulator who wants to make you a person you fight so hard to not be and they offer you love, love is the only thing you see," Jasper clenched his jaw, "To love a monster is like... loving something too much. It's bad for you,"

"Her being the monster?" Alice wondered, knowing this conversation was standing on a thin stread.

"Me and her both," Jasper replied anxiously, flicking his gaze to hers then away again, "Feelin' like you're nothing then having somebody make you feel like you aren't was the most freeing thing I've ever felt. When I took those glasses off and actually saw what she was doin' to me... I felt like I was burdened with the world again.
I was the best fighter she ever had. Without me she's sure to lose her army. She wants me back,"

"Leaving her was a sign you didn't want to be there though. How stupid do you have to be to try and get you back I--I don't understand," Alice frowned, leaning against the counter too, staring at her best friend.
Jasper didn't say anything.
He had told Alice parts about how he was just being used, they had touched on the 'love' side of things, but he had never spoke a truth so deep before.
Having someone know your mind, your body, your truths, just for them to fuck you over and gnaw at the remains left the worst kind of desire in it's wake. 
Desire for it to all go back to the way it was before you became so understanding of the situation.
The newborn army left Jasper feeling like a crazed monster, being in charge of them made him feel like a powerful, crazed monster. 
Maria didn't help, her charm, her soft laughs and the way she smiled at him made the monster in him settle, he was like putty in her hands, molding to anything she wanted him to be.
Fortune, friends, fucks, frenemies.
The love that he gave her each time was like every bite that burnt his skin, unhealthy, unexpected and stupid because after everytime they argued, every time they made up, he should've known it was going to happen again.

"Tell me about her," He requested brokenly, unable to stand his thoughts anymore.

"But.. um... who?" Alice turned her head.
She thought he wanted to know about Maria, but after a second of thought, she realized he would never want that.

"My mate," Jasper looked at the girl in front of him, he wanted a distraction, he wanted to know the person who he was going to love instead of the memories that haunted him.

"Oh," Alice nodded, understanding, "What do you want to know?"

"What does she look like?" Jasper put his head on his hands, his elbows leaning against the counter.
Oh.
Alice looked away from him for a second, trying to decide the best way about this, for she knew something about Jasper's mate that she wasn't going to tell.

"Brown eyes, little flecks of green in them," Alice explained, frowning as she focused on the picture in her eyes, "They always wear necklaces... paints their nails..."
Jasper watched Alice throughout the explanation whilst trying to envision the girl of his daydreams.

"What's she like?" He asked, trying to find a personality for the girl he was picturing.

"In general or to you?" Alice frowned deeper, shutting her eyes to try and bring on something else.
But it was hard to know something about someone who didn't even exist yet.

"To me," Jasper replied, eyes shutting too, wishing for a better visual.
It took a second for Alice to reply, but when she did, her eyes opened and her hand reached out to hold Jasper's hand on the side of his face.
The action made his deep eyes open too.
They looked at each other for a second before she spoke up.

"Your mate is going to make you into a devil," 

"Already feel like one of those," Jasper deadpanned, softening his gaze towards the woman.
Alice wouldn't have said that if it wasn't a good thing.

"They're going to make you feel like you're on fire," She spoke the 10 words so emotionally, it made Jasper want to dip his hand in lava just to feel the way his mate did for him already.

"And Spencer?" Jasper asked curiously, thinking it was only fair they speak about Alice's mate concidering they had with his.

"About him?" She replied, moving her hand down to his forearm, ignoring the indents that sadly scattered along his skin.

"He's there too?" 
Jasper watched as the question made Alice's emotions melt.

"Yeah... he's there," She mumbled happily, taking her hand away from Jasper's skin to lean back on the counter.
Then suddenly, Jasper's thoughts went haywire as the thought about the future. 

"Spencer doesn't know about us," Jasper stated, though it was more question based as he looked to the girl in front of him.
Alice understood what he meant instantly.

"Not yet," Then she groaned in realisation, "But I am going to have to explain my visions,"

"Alice, you may hate me for suggesting this but I think we have to leave him alone," Jasper instantly regretted his words as he felt how Alice had a large sum of distaste at the worst.

"What?" She acted like he had just hit her, "Why?"

"I don't mean to upset you but his emotions are very strong for you Alice. He thinks he's falling in love with a human. That isn't fair," Jasper clenched his jaw, watching Alice's golden eyes dart to his face to the floor of the kitchen.

"He's falling in love with me," She stated ghostly, as if she was overjoyed but didn't believe it.
Stupid, concidering Jasper was the empath.

"He has to have a choice that this is what he wants Alice. We didn't have a choice, we can give him that much," Jasper wanted to reach out, to soothe her emotions.
Alice didn't move, not even to breathe.
As much as she hated to admit it, Jasper was right.
Spencer needed to have this choice to be with her forever, and it was only right that he knows about them being vampires before he had the chance to become committed with the emotion of love.
Spencer had enough taken from his life, he didn't need his mortality to vanish alongside it.

"It's gonna hurt," She said after a moment of silence.
Jasper clenched his jaw, basking in the grief in her feelings that he had caused.
"What about his Dad? His job? Who will give him money Jasp?"

"He survived without us Alice. He's strong. And his job, I'll give his boss a friendly little suggestion," Jasper promised, though both of them knew the suggestion Jasper will come up with will include no friendliness.
Alice clenched her hands, looking down to her black painted nails. 
It took ever ounce in her to nod her head and agree.
This would be good, Spencer needs to decide this on his own.

"And we'll come back?" She wondered to the blonde boy across from her.
Jasper nodded instantly.

"A year. We'll come back Alice, that way, he'll be eighteen and you can persue anything you want with him," Jasper stood from his position and walked over to the girl.

"When?" She muttered, looking up at him.

"Next week?" He suggested, offering his arms.
Jasper wasn't much of a hugger, so Alice didn't pass on this oppertunity to be comforted.

"Ok," She nodded, her head on his chest.
She wasn't sure how she'd cope with the time apart, but she hoped it would be worth it in the end.

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OK so I'm glad I'm publishing this chapter since the 'too much' in Jasper's speech has some MAD explaining.

He states that when you're a monster, you love something too much.

Jasper first said that to Milo when he left in New Moon. The thought of leaving Milo made Jasper feel like a monster so he could only think that meant that the love he felt for the human meant that he loved too much.

He didn't mean it bitterly, just as a realization.

but anyway, hope you enjoyed the dialogue in this since it basically told the plot in this chapter <3