ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ ғʀᴀɢɪʟᴇ
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"You're late"

His voice greeted me as soon as I entered the training room.

Anakin had his back to me, staring out the large window that offered a spectacular view of Coruscant. I could feel his excitement radiating off him, which made me take a deep breath. Sensing his emotions was like reading an open book for me, and it only made me more uncomfortable.

"You're early," I said, walking toward the center of the room.

"Of course not."

I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he couldn’t see it. "Kit just told me he saw you come in here an hour ago."

Anakin turned to look at me, but I deliberately avoided his gaze. Months had passed since our first training session, the one where he turned me into mashed potatoes by throwing me to the ground. Since then, the Council had decided we should train together more often, claiming we were evenly matched. I accepted the challenge.

While losing to a seventeen-year-old kid could be humiliating, beating the Chosen One was far more satisfying. Seeing the frustration on his face after a defeat was worth more than a Corusca gem.

When I looked back in his direction, Anakin was still observing me in silence, his eyes scrutinizing my face with such intensity that it made my jaw tense.

I had no problem showing how much his attention bothered me, but he didn’t seem to care.

"Do you want a holoautograph, or are we going to start already?" I asked, impatience coloring my voice.

A faint smile appeared on his face. "I was just thinking," he replied, stepping toward the center with me. "Are you ready?"

I drew my lightsaber, smirking. "Are you?"

We positioned ourselves face to face, and for a moment, the air between us crackled with tension. Anakin drew his lightsaber with a fluid motion, and without taking his eyes off me, ignited the blade.

Our lightsabers sparked as they collided, and the training began with a contained, almost measured energy. Anakin started on the defensive, as usual, anticipating each of my attacks with a precision that exasperated me. I moved quickly, looking for a different angle, launching one attack after another while he blocked without flinching.

I jumped back, sliding across the floor with the help of the Force, then propelled myself toward him in a flip aimed at destabilizing him. My lightsaber descended in a swift arc, but Anakin intercepted it with his own blade just in time, forcing another exchange of glances.

"You're not trying, Skywalker!" I gritted my teeth, noticing the lack of real intensity in his attacks.

"Just warming up," he smiled, his eyes briefly flashing.

The movements became faster. Anakin began to throw harder strikes, forcing me to use the Force to dodge and counter with the same ferocity. At one point, we both jumped into the air, spinning and sliding as our blades clashed again in a shower of sparks. Upon landing, he tried to push me back with a low sweep, but I managed to jump just in time, spinning on my axis and countering his attack with a strike aimed at his flank.

The duel became even more frantic, with both of us executing acrobatics and using the Force to gain ground. Anakin launched a telekinetic push that forced me back several meters, but I managed to keep my balance and immediately responded with a lateral sweep that caught him off guard. Taking advantage of his brief imbalance, I pressed my attack.

I could feel his growing frustration as the advantage tilted in my favor. My pride swelled, and with a quick move, I managed to knock his lightsaber aside, disarming him momentarily. He tried to recover, but it was too late: I slid to his side and, with a stronger push of the Force, disarmed him completely.

My purple blade rested at his neck, glowing as intensely as his gaze.

Anakin stopped, breathing heavily, his eyes darkening with a mix of frustration and surprise. We stayed like that for a moment, and it was then that I noticed how dangerously close my weapon was to his skin; one more centimeter and I could have caused serious harm. I blinked and moved the saber away from his body, deactivating it.

"I told you to try harder," I said, with a victory smile curving my lips.

Anakin, after the tense moment, deactivated his lightsaber with a slight nod.

"Well played," he admitted, still with a hint of annoyance in his words. But then he smiled more freshly, looking into my eyes. "But you rely too much on the Force while fighting. If you face a more powerful opponent, it won’t do you any good."

"It doesn’t matter how powerful you are," I replied, with a proud satisfaction, "...if you can’t use that power better than your rival."

Anakin opened his mouth to respond, but light applause echoed in the room, interrupting our exchange. We both turned and found Master Kenobi nodding in my direction.

"I couldn’t have said it better myself, Helene," he congratulated me, making me smile with pride. Anakin, on the other hand, huffed. "Forgive me for interrupting your training, but both of you have been summoned by the Council to the meeting room."

I frowned.

"Again?" I asked, unable to hold back a groan. "Aayla and I already apologized for putting makeup on the droids."

Anakin let out a laugh, and Obi-Wan shook his head with a slight smile on his lips.

"It seems to be an important discovery, and Master Yoda wants you both present to learn what it’s about," explained Obi-Wan, crossing his arms. A fleeting glint shone in his eyes as he looked at his padawan. "It’s possible it’s time for another mission."

I turned to look at Anakin, wishing with all my might that I were in his place and that they would send me on a mission after so long. However, instead of the excitement I expected to see, I was met with his furrowed brow.

"That’s the third one this week," he muttered, visibly irritated. "Why don’t they offer it to someone else? I don’t want to interrupt my training." He said the last part while glancing at me sideways, and I nearly choked on my own saliva.

Obi-Wan sighed. "You know it’s not my decision, Anakin."

I stood there watching the interaction with a hint of envy. How could he complain about getting so many missions? I would kill (not really, I'm Jedi) for an opportunity like that. But something in his posture, in the way he avoided his usual enthusiasm, made me think there was more behind his frustration.

Anakin shot me a look I couldn’t quite decipher, but he followed his master with a slight sigh, and I hurried to walk a certain distance behind him. Despite everything, I couldn’t help but wonder what was really going through his head.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"A mission... together?"

Mace Windu nodded from his seat, and I stifled a pitiful groan.

The moment I stepped into the meeting room and saw Master Ti alongside the Council, I knew nothing good would come of this, at least not for me.

Of course, I longed for a mission with all my heart, no matter how dangerous it might be. But the idea of having the kid glued to me the entire time made my blood boil. I had been putting up with him for five long months during training, and just half a year was enough for me to realize he would stick to me like an absolute barnacle.

"Why us?" I asked, though it came out more like a whine.

"The Council believes this mission is somewhat... risky," Shaak Ti pressed her lips together, "which is why the best padawans and their masters are needed."

"Oh!" I pretended to have realized something and took a step back. "In that case, let me call Kit and Aayla. They’ll be here in no time." I turned to walk through the doors, but Master Kenobi stopped my pathetic attempt to excuse myself by standing in front of them.

"They mean you two, guys" he explained, crossing his arms.

I huffed and turned around only to find an expression of absolute delight on Anakin’s face. He no longer seemed as irritated about the mission as before.

I looked to Master Ti for help, but she remained silent.

"We’ve received word from Master Tholme, who had to make an unexpected stop on Dathomir," Master Windu spoke, grabbing my attention. "He has reports of a powerful weapon hidden on the planet. An ancient relic that could tip the balance of the war in favor of the Separatists if it falls into the wrong hands."

"What’s the mission? Destroy the weapon?"

Master Mundi shook his head with a stern expression.

"Absolutely not. That would lead you down a dangerous path," he replied, making me raise an eyebrow. "You only need to infiltrate the planet and locate the relic before the Separatists do."

"Why is the relic so important?" asked Anakin.

"It’s a pendant created by a Sith Lord approximately a thousand years ago, likely during the golden age of the Sith Empire," Shaak Ti explained, grimacing as she spoke. "It has the ability to amplify the dark side of the Force, increasing its power exponentially.”

"Channel the energy of the dark side, it can," Master Yoda nodded, his wrinkled face looked at us seriously. "Realistic and powerful illusions for the easily manipulated, it creates."

And here I thought we were just going to stop the Separatists from killing each other.

Obi-Wan stroked his chin, analyzing the situation. "Has Master Tholme made any moves?"

"He hasn’t had the chance. He was low on resources, and the Nightsisters weren’t too pleased with his presence," Master Windu informed him. "He barely escaped the planet."

I wrinkled my nose. "Nightsisters? Are we supposed to fight a group of prostitutes or something?"

Shaak Ti shot me a reprimanding look while the Council members stared at me in astonishment, perhaps at my ignorance or my audacity. Anakin let out another laugh, and Obi-Wan cleared his throat:

"The Nightsisters are a coven of witches who inhabit Dathomir, Helene," he explained. "They practice dark arcane magic and are very hostile to outsiders... especially if they’re Jedi."

Oh, now I understood why Master Tholme had fled. Maybe if they had been prostitutes, he wouldn’t even have raised the alarm.

"You’ll leave in the morning," Mace Windu announced. "The coven is usually more active and powerful at night. If you find the pendant before nightfall, you shouldn’t run into too many problems."

Master Ti offered a soft smile.

"It’s hard to avoid trouble when my padawan is one of them," she commented, with a touch of humor.

"Hey!"

Obi-Wan chuckled under his breath.

"You’re not alone, Shaak," he glanced at Anakin, his expression filled with a complicity that set my nerves on edge. "My padawan also happens to be a magnet for trouble."

Anakin made an offended face, crossing his arms.

"That’s not funny, Master," he complained, and then, as if an idea had struck him, he blinked and fixed his gaze on me with more delight than before. "Wait, are you attracted to me?"

My eyes widened. "What?"

"I’m a magnet, and you’re the trouble," he said, his smile was shy but with a full of meaning. "That means you’re attracted to me.”

What the holy hell…?

Before I could respond with some kind of insult, Master Windu’s firm voice saved me from having to answer:

"You may leave now," he announced in his typical authoritative tone. For the first time, I felt grateful to him.

The four of us bowed to the Council before leaving the room, and I ignored Anakin’s ecstatic gaze on me. Once in the hallway, I could breathe more easily. As we walked, Obi-Wan turned to Shaak Ti with a nostalgic smile.

"I don’t remember being on a mission with you in years."

Shaak Ti nodded, returning the smile.

"That’s true. It’ll be interesting to see how we manage to find that pendant," she said. Then, her eyes shifted to Anakin and me, her expression turned excited. "And it’ll be even more interesting because we’re bringing our padawans along."

Master Ti’s comment made me press my lips together, feeling a slight discomfort that I didn’t bother to hide. To be honest, the only company I wanted on this mission was my master’s, the calm and focus she always brought me. The only exceptions I made to that preference were Aayla and Kit, with whom I had shared so many missions that the trust between us was almost natural.

However, this time, I had to deal with the constant presence of the teenager by my side, and I could feel how he seemed to fully enjoy the situation we’d been put in.

Somehow, the energy he radiated bothered me even more, as if I couldn’t find a single moment of peace in his company.

"Don’t worry, Master Ti," Anakin spoke up, breaking the silence and drawing my attention. He was already staring at me intently, with that smile that seemed never to fade from his face. "We won’t let you down."

Wi win’t lit yi diwn.

Master Ti’s comment still echoed in my mind as I forced myself to maintain my composure. But suddenly, her voice resonated in my head, sharp and direct.

«Tone it down a little» she warned, and her firm tone made me startle slightly. «Obi-Wan can sense how upset you are»

«Because I am» I replied, frustrated.

«If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you» she insisted, raising her eyebrows in an expression I knew all too well.

Just then, Master Kenobi decided to intervene, clasping his hands in a closing gesture.

"Well, it’s time to pack what we need," he said calmly, which made me doubt whether he could really sense my emotions as well as my master. "We’ll see you tomorrow at dawn," Obi-Wan smiled before bowing respectfully. "Master Ti, Padawan Shield."

I returned the bow with the same formality, but just then Anakin walked past me, leaning toward Shaak Ti, and the slight movement made his scent envelop me.

Suddenly, everything else disappeared, as if my connection to the Force had narrowed solely to him. It was overwhelming, almost suffocating, as if his presence wrapped around mine in an inescapable embrace.

It took me a second to regain control, to pull away from that sensation, but when I did, I turned my head toward him. Anakin had already straightened up, and on his face was a tiny smile, barely perceptible. The idea that he had done it on purpose slipped into my mind.

"Damn weirdo," I muttered under my breath.

Instantly, Master Kenobi and Anakin turned to me, and I felt my blood pressure drop at the same time as Shaak Ti’s.

"Did you say something, Helene?" Anakin asked, with an innocence that clearly didn’t match the curious and amused glint in his eyes.

I swallowed, feeling the three pairs of eyes watching me: Obi-Wan with a genuinely confused expression, Anakin trying to hide a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and my poor master, who seemed to wish the floor would swallow her.

I coughed, forcing a smile that probably wasn’t convincing at all.

"I think I peed myself," I corrected quickly, not realizing what I had just said until I saw Master Ti’s expression, on the verge of fainting. I coughed again, trying to adopt a more timid posture. "Sorry, it was the excitement."

Anakin’s face lit up with the smile he was no longer trying to hide, and Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, perplexed. I felt like my face must have been redder than a Sith’s lightsaber.

With an effort to maintain my composure, I bowed again before turning around and flying out of the hallway. The thought that awkward moments like this would haunt me throughout our mission didn’t help either.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"Are you going to tell me what’s going on with Padawan Skywalker?"

Shaak Ti and I were in the room, sitting on my bed while she sat on the one next to it. Aayla had left on a mission with her master a few days ago, and luckily no one else was with them, though something that worried me was that they were taking longer than expected, and the Council wasn’t keeping me informed about what was happening.

I sighed, flopping onto my back on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. I knew complaining about this to my master might seem ridiculous, with me being twenty-two and Anakin seventeen, especially considering he remained calm and even happy while I acted like a little noisy girl in her eyes.

"You’re acting like a little girl by not wanting to tell me what’s bothering you," Shaak Ti scolded me, and I widened my eyes.

"Did you read my thoughts?" I asked, indignant.

She shook her head gently, her features softening.

"No, your mind is just shouting them out loud, and you’ve lowered your mental defenses," she replied calmly. "Helene, since I took you as my padawan, I knew it would be a challenge to connect with you because of how closed off you are. Open up and accept help from others."

I pouted and turned my head so my face was smushed into the pillow. "I don’t want Anakin to come on the mission."

"And why not?"

"Because he’s annoying!" I complained. "He’s always around me, invading my space, staring at me, and then he’s so arrogant that..."

"He’s just a young boy," Master Ti tried to justify. "Obi-Wan already warned us that he’s a bit nervous and that he never had many opportunities to make friends at the Temple. Maybe he just wants..."

"To prove to everyone that he can beat the best padawan of the generation," I interrupted, frustrated. "I’m sure we’ll come back from the mission, and he’ll take all the credit for being the stupid Chosen One."

Shaak Ti looked at me with understanding. "It’s not a competition, Helene. It’s teamwork."

"Tell that to Skywalker," I grumbled, still with my face buried in the pillow. "He’s so arrogant, he just wants to be the center of attention."

"And have you stopped to think that maybe he just wants to be the center of your attention?”

Slowly, I lifted my head at those words, looking at my master as if she had just confessed that droids had orgies among themselves. Shaak Ti didn’t seem to be joking, and it wouldn’t have been a funny joke anyway.

"What?"

My master smiled and leaned slightly forward, as if sharing a secret.

"Think about it. You say he’s always around you, that he won’t stop bothering you, and that it annoys you. Why do you think that is?"

I blinked, processing her words.

"You think... you think he’s...?" I shook my head so fast I heard a crack. "No, impossible. Jedi can’t have attachments."

"Neither of you is a Jedi yet," my master pointed out calmly.

I opened my mouth, unable to accept what she was really implying. The idea was completely absurd: it was impossible, unfeasible, unreal that the little Skywalker brat felt that way about me. I mean, he had tried to flirt with me when he was nine, but that was when he had just arrived at the Temple and didn’t know certain emotions were forbidden for Jedi.

Besides, the fact that we were now a bit older didn’t change much the fact that I was an emotionally experienced padawan, and Anakin was still in the process of maturing. It was a perspective I couldn’t take seriously, and yet, Shaak Ti’s words echoed in my mind.

"But that can’t be..." I tried to find logic in the situation. "If that were true, it would mean that... all this time he’s been trying to get my attention in a... romantic way?"

Shaak Ti nodded gently. "Sometimes, young people act in confusing ways when they’re trying to connect. Anakin might be trying to find his place and, in the process, has shown interest in you in a way he doesn’t know how to handle well."

The thought made me uncomfortable and unsettling.

The idea that Anakin might have feelings for me was something I had never considered. Despite his attempts to get closer and his sometimes irritating attitude, I had never seen him in that light.

"That’s crazy," I finally said, trying to clear my mind. "It’s disgusting. I could be his mother..."

"You’re only five years older than him," Shaak Ti commented with an amused smile.

"That doesn’t make it better," I huffed, turning my body on the bed with disdain. "I can’t believe he’s trying to get my attention like that. It’s completely repulsive."

Shaak Ti sighed.

"I understand this is difficult for you, but I think Anakin is a bit emotionally fragile. Maybe you should be... gentler with him."

"That’s not my problem," I replied immediately, feeling a wave of disdain. My voice cracked as I spoke, almost feeling the weight of the accumulated frustration. "Why does it have to be me? Don’t ask me to do more than I’m already doing. I can’t stand the idea of him always being above me, invading every corner of my space."

My emotions were on the verge of overflowing, and a sense of helplessness enveloped me, wishing all of this would just fade away. I needed to cry, to cry because now I understood that until Anakin got tired, I would always be overshadowed by his presence, just as I had felt for the past few months when the Council paid infinitely more attention to him than to me. But all I could do now was hide under my sheet and try to silence the outside world.

"Helene..." my master began to say in a soft voice, but I was already turned toward the wall, not wanting to hear any more. The pressure was unbearable. She seemed to understand that I needed to be alone and, with a final sigh, she stood up and headed toward the door. "Alright. I’ll come get you at dawn."

I heard the sound of the wood creaking as it closed, and I was left alone in my room, trapped in my own thoughts and emotions. A tear slid slowly down my cheek.

Feeling everything while remembering how those blue eyes had turned yellow in one of my nightmares.