BESITOS
tomi !! my team and i are going to a training camp in tokyo

BESITOS
isn't that cool😛

tomi
ahaha yeah so cool😬

"Hit me with a shovel. Really hard. Right in the face."

"What's even so special about this dude?" Atsumu asks, rolling his eyes.

After Osamu—somehow—managed to calm Hisakawa down, he brought her to his room to talk it all out. Atsumu shares the dorm with him, and has already been in the room. He he was surprised of her state, too. They're all sitting together on a mattress now.

In the blink of an eye, he spins around and nears himself to Satomi, his face mere inches away. "He can't make you feel the emotions I make you feel, right?"

His hot breath lingers on her face as she looks at him with bored eyes; unfazed by his attempt to fluster her.

"The only emotion you make me feel is annoyance." Satomi places her hand on Atsumu's face and harshly pushes his head away; causing him to swirl around a few times.

Osamu's hardened gaze lingers on his brother, jaw clenched. "Get yourself together, stupid." He slaps the back of his head.

Atsumu, still sprawled around the bed in an inhumanely manner, is only able to croak out a small, "Shut up."

Shame puts her abdomen on fire. Satomi visibly cringes, clutching her hurting tummy out of pure reflex.

"What the hell am I gonna do now?" Satomi complains, plopping down on the bed with a groan.

"Just tell him who you are." Osamu shrugs. "You're the one making everything complicated."

Satomi stays silent for some time. His words sink in, and she slowly nods in agreement. "You're right..."

"How do expect me to look into your eyes after you've lied to me, Niyuki? Do you not have any shame?"

His callous, onyx eyes looked down at her. It had always managed to make her feel small and incompetent, that heartless stare of his.

"Lies and humiliation are two things that can never be forgiven nor forgotten, no matter how hard you try."

Satomi suddenly jerks up with terrified eyes. "I can't do it!"

"What? Why?" To say the least, Osamu is perplexed by her fast change of mind.

"I'll have to leave now! Student council stuff!"

With that, she runs away.

Lies and humiliation are two things that can never be forgiven nor forgotten, no matter how hard you try, Niyuki.

You are never going to change, Satomi. You'll always stay the same incompetent, lazy, and wrathful person.

You're in Class 1-1? I shouldn't be surprised, since your stupid self can't even reach past twenty points.

"Hisakawa-san."

Aren't you ashamed?

"Sato."

Not even a little?

"Satomi."

Don't you get tired of looking into the mirror and always seeing nothing but a complete failure?

"Sawa?"

A warm hand on her shoulder is what pulls her back. Hisakawa flinches at the touch, causing Osamu's eyes to widen and to pull his hand back instantly.

"Sorry. I didn't—" Osamu puts his hands in surrender, innocence written on his face. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Satomi's head is casted downward as she begins on regaining her breath. Her heartbeat has been beating in an abnormal pace that it has caused her body to shake, and she's trying her best to compose herself in front of the volleyball team.

"I apologize."

Her head whips upward. A blank expression is on her face, hands folded behind her back to conceal the abnormal way that they're trembling.

"I got distracted for a second." She glances in between the circle of volleyball players, who are already staring at her in utter curiosity and worry. "What were you guys talking about again?"

Coach Kuroso speaks up and swiftly switches the subject, "Riseki was asking if you could show him the notes you've been taking about him. He wants to improve himself."

At that, she nods. "Of course."

And they do as said. Hisakawa steps toward the first-year and pulls him away from the others to privately tell him all of the valuable information she has gathered about him.

In the meantime, Suna and Atsumu gazes instinctively find each other's; a knowing look in their eyes.

They glance at Osamu, too, but the boy simply keeps his unreadable stare on Satomi.

"But I think that the main issue is your pessimistic mindset," Hisakawa concludes after her detailed analysis. Riseki gulps and nods in comprehension. "You're really skilled and and show great strength when we practice, but once we're on a real match, you overthink things instinctively and lose your entire concentration and confidence."

Satomi tilts her head up at him. The second she locks her eyes with his, he jumps slightly and gulps again; cheeks reddening. "I could give you the greatest advice, but, in the end, it's all up to you." She shrugs. "You're in charge. You're the one who controls the ball. Once you serve, the others don't matter. They can't influence your body or skills in that moment. Only you can do that. Proclaim what's yours."

Riseki silences, his head sinking. His mind falls into a puddle of various thoughts—mostly negative and gloomy. Yet Satomi's words create a light in his dark head and dominate all other anxieties of his.

So, he looks up at her. Determination lies deep within his eyes. "I will." He inclines his head. "Thank you, Hisakawa-san."

"Anytime." A small smile twitches on her lips, but she then remembers to swallow it down.

Today's games begin soon on. For once, Satomi allows herself to sit down on a bench since her muscles are utterly sore and her body simply exhausted. She suppresses a heavy yawn and pulls her notebook out.

"You don't enjoy the trainings's camp as much as the boys, am I right?"

"Not really." Satomi truthfully answers Coach Kuroso's question with a shake of her head. "I do think that this is a great way to improve the boys' strength—both physical and mental, but I just wish there were some more managers."

She physically pauses for a second, adding: "Or less annoying boys."

Kuroso laughs at that. "I agree. Boys are a pain in the ass at times." He hums. "I'm quite glad that our players aren't that obsessed with girls. I don't even want to imagine the irritation you would be feeling if someone was to chase after you like a puppy all the time."

"Makes me feel powerful, though," concludes Satomi, shrugging.

Though she then laughs it off. "I'm kidding. It's already a nightmare with Atsumu and Rintaro."

Somehow, she starts thinking about the team in a more pensive manner and rambles aloud, "Osamu himself is fine, but he always gives in to his brother's antics and then they argue, which is irritating. Although Ginjima is really helpful and passionate, he forgets himself at times and does too many sacrifices. He also doesn't listen to others easily. Kosaku was very afraid of the ball at first and didn't talk."

"Kita is an angel, no complaints, ten-out-of-ten would recommend. Aran is funny and caring and very patient. I would probably introduce him to my parents." She nods firmly.

Her very personal thoughts take over her tongue and release the words impulsively like a free waterfall. "Omimi has a very sharp mind and a lot of empathy. He understands others very well." Satomi places her fingers under her chin, thinking deeply. "But he looks scary to others, so I probably wouldn't introduce him to my parents... Akagi is really sweet and has incredible academical skills, but he eats cheese in a really weird way... Hyousuke would probably start crying because of that, too..."

All Kuroso can do is watch and listen, blinking dumbly.

"In conclusion: the second-years suck and the third-years are angels sent from heaven."

To say that Kuroso is caught off guard is an understatement. He's led astray as his brain stutters in nothing but a surging perplexity.

Realization hits Hisakawa like a punch in the face. Her eyes widen, and her head whips toward him in appall. "I apologize. I didn't mean to ramble. I should've have said all of that. That was so humiliating, I am so sorry—"

"No, Hisakawa, it's fine."

Words leave her at his statement. Satomi's jaw clenches as she looks at him for some moments. But she cannot bear the understanding and tender glint in his eyes, so she forcefully looks down and forms her hands into white-knuckled fists.

"I was just surprised," he continues in a light tone. "I'm actually the one who should apologize. It was impolite of me to look that way."

You should be ashamed of yourself for disrespecting your elders, and then even asking for an apology.

"No, it's not your fault." She shakes her low-hanging head.

Her lips are in a thin line as she presses them together tightly. "Please stop apologizing," her stressed voice is almost beggarly, really.

The coach doesn't say anything else after that, for the simple observation that any other words from his mouth would only result in a more negative outcome, so he shuts his lips. Still, his worried, pitiful gaze lingers on her.

And so does another pair of eyes during the entire day.

BESITOS
ayyee tomi

BESITOS
we have to exchange playlists

BESITOS
i got some new artists that i wanna introduce to you and i want to know all the music you listen to too

BESITOS
i'm gonna create a playlist for you someday

BESITOS
so that you can tell me if the artists are good and maybe add some to my collection

BESITOS
although i am quite confident in my music taste😌

tomi
you don't have to

BESITOS
but i really want to !!

BESITOS
i never met anyone with a similar music taste as me so i wanna know if it may be identical too
read

Satomi puts her phone away with trembling fingers.

It firstly starts with a cluster of sparks that plug in her abdomen. Tension soon grows in her face and limbs, her mind continuously reminiscing events of the past that would've rather been forgotten and forever vanished. Yet to no avail.

Her breathing becomes more rapid, more shallow.

You're nothing but a shameless liar.

Her form curls itself on the mattress. Satomi tightly pulls her legs toward her body, her breath shaking.

Hot tears well up in her eyes as the haunting thoughts won't leave her alone. They are her greatest enemies; accompanying her through every day.

They won't stop chasing after her, no matter how far she runs.

The thoughts are simply accelerating inside of her head. Satomi feels like throwing up with every passing second.

Thankfully, today's tiring day is over. The sun has set, and the games have ended. She wishes for nothing more than to fall asleep and never wake up—for that is the only way she can avenge all of those sleepless nights.

Hisakawa feels like she is drowning, and there is no hope of being saved. The blackness of her memories start to spread through her mind, clouding her thoughts and bringing her back to places she never wanted to revisit.

She presses her palms to her ears; trying to block out the screams and heartless sayings, but it doesn't work. They only grow louder and louder. She just wants them to go away.

Sawa.

Just when she thinks that all hope is lost, she hears his voice calling her name.

I need you to breathe in and out for me, okay?

It is like a ray of light in the darkness of her past. It guides her back to reality. Satomi slowly pulls her hands away from her ears.

Stop thinking for a second. Just look at me.

The screams die down. Satomi cautiously opens her once tightly closed eyes, gazing outside her window and at the shining moon that sheds light over the dark night.

Her heartbeat slows down and the comforting voice of the moon lulls her to sleep.

"You skipped dinner yesterday."

Kita's cold voice freezes the girl in her place. She gulps, slowly tilting her head upward to look at his expressionless face.

"And also didn't eat breakfast today," he adds as a matter of fact.

Satomi scratches the back of her head. "Funny story..."

Yet Kita doesn't reply nor show any hints of a reaction. He's simply waiting for her to elaborate, and she does. "So, um I was—"

Lies and humiliation are two things that can never be forgiven nor forgotten, no matter how hard you try.

She instantly stops her tongue from moving. Halting for a second, she sighs, and then recollects herself while her head falls. "I was really exhausted yesterday and wasn't able to wake up in the morning. I'm sorry..."

"That's really unhealthy, Hisakawa." She's sure that he isn't even blinking anymore. All of his true yet piercing words throw daggers at her. "You don't have to run around here all the time. You also don't have to take care of the other players' injuries. You're the one who's putting all the work on your own shoulder. The only thing you're doing is overworking yourself."

"You take care of everyone, but who is the one taking care of you?"

Her brain stutters. He put me into my place... And really ruthlessly, too... Satomi can't even respond at this point. Her eyes are widened in shock, mouth closing and opening in nothing but utter perplexity.

"Dude, that stings like a little bitch..." Hisakawa clutches her chest, letting out overdramatized groans of agony.

"I'm sorry." Kita has realized the weight his words hold on her. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

His eyes soften. "But I want you to take care of yourself for once."

Slowly, she gazes up at him again. Her tongue gets stuck in her throat due to his story-telling eyes.

Eyes that see are the greatest blessing, for they are orbs that shine lights and make even the realization that healing must and will happen... possible.

Words come out shaky at first, so she shakes her head to compose herself and rebuilds her sentence, "I'll try."

"Great." A small smile is painted on his lips. "Now stay seated on this bench and do not stand up."

"Huh?!" Her eyes pop out of their skin. "I-I can't just do nothing! I get icky when I stay in one place for more than thirty seconds! I need adrenaline, movement—"

But Kita's stern eyes cut her off mid-sentence.

"Yes, sir..."

"Good." He nods firmly.

After Hisakawa sits down on the bench inside of the gymnasium, where the other teams are slowly entering through the doors, he places two boxes next to her. That makes her frown. She looks up at him with a questionable expression.

"This is yesterday's dinner," he points at the red box. Then, his finger motions to the pink one. "And this is today's breakfast. You're going to eat these while we practice. No taking notes or helping others, only food."

Pure bewilderment is painted on her face. "Did you just sneak the meals in? You aren't allowed to do that! Who made all of this food?"

"The person wanted it to be a secret," is all Kita reveals.

"I sometimes hate that you're so loyal," Satomi deadpans as he refuses to say anything else, staring at him with a flat face.

"Anyway..." She sighs, opening the red box. "Please thank the person who made this meal for me." Satomi adds, "Ah, and tell them that I would literally kiss their ass and paint their nails if they revealed themselves."

Kita pauses. "I'm going to say that you appreciate the thoughtful gesture," he concludes.

She shrugs. "Same thing."

Soon on, Kita leaves Satomi on her own as he sees his team approaching them. All members greet her gleefully, to which she professionally nods to.

"Wuah, Sato, is that onigri with pickled plum filling?!" Atsumu runs over to her with joyed eyes. "Gimme some!"

He reaches over to the rice ball, but she swiftly smacks his hand away. Atsumu releases a sound of pain, clutching his hand while throwing her a hurt look.

"No," she firmly states. "A very special person thought of my well-being and made this for me. I do not grant permission to any foreign germs on this endearing gesture. The person probably doesn't allow any intruders either."

Atsumu pauses, confused about the meaning of the words. "Whatever that means..."

Suddenly, he takes hold of her and throws her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Satomi tries her very best to stay composed, but her eyes fail to not widen in pure shock. "Let go off me!" She hisses, harshly hitting his back.

Atsumu can already tell that she's a flustered mess, which makes him grin in satisfaction. "Fucking piss-head, let me go. This is so humiliating..."

All teams watch the scenario unfold with puzzled gazes, questioning the duo's sanity. Except for Inarizaki, who simply sigh and tear their eyes from them; already used to their questionable antics.

"Not until I eat first." Atsumu takes one of the neatly packaged rice balls and throws it into his mouth, happily munching on it with a content face.

Yet his joyed face scrunches up in a growing frown with every single bite. His eyebrows furrow, holding up the rest of the rice ball and examining it.

"Huh," he begins. "This tastes familiar..."

FUN-FACT: In the Hisakawa household, only Satomi and Akio speak French. And they mostly speak it while arguing so that their younger siblings won't understand their fights and severe profanities. It's actually a strict rule to never argue in Japanese. Both of them purposely refused to teach their siblings French, too. They also find it cooler to swear in French since it's much, much harsher than Japanese.