Love hurts.
Love will always hurt.

That's why it is worth it. After all, love is the painful poetry that we humans turn together into the most beautiful art. Where loving is an art, and two people are the artists.

"Doctor, Naina theek..." Standing outside the ICU, Sameer asked anxiously.

"It's just a false labor call. Pregnancy mein kahin baar aisa ho jata hai. Par Naina ke case mein hum aise contractions ko ignore nahi kar sakte. We need to operate on her soon. C-section karna padega. Kal ke liye hi ise schedule bhi karwa diya hai."

"Caesarean Delivery...Kal?"

"Dekhiye Mr. Maheshwari, hum aur wait nahi kar sakte. Iske immediately baad inke heart tissues ka treatment bhi schedule hai. We don't even know how worse the situation of her heart has became. Poore Pregnancy ke term mein hum Naina ke damage ho rahe heart cells ko examine tak nahi kar paye, na hi strong medications dekar use treat kar paye...is darr mein ki kahin baby par iska koi adverse effect na ho jaye. Ab hum aur delay nahi kar sakte." Doctor clarified.

"Naina ko kuch hoga toh nahi," He asked the doctor in a trembled voice.

"You know the answer." The doctor declared and left.

Soon after, Sameer goes to Naina's ward and saw her aching and still smiling; a weak smile soaked with uncertainties. Both were staring into each other's eyes, almost forgetting about the time and the world. This is the weirdest thing about love you lose yourself in every possible way to fill yourself with their essence because you want to feel that love every minute, every second, maybe ever.

Naina waved him to come close to her. No one said a word and slowly they slipped into each other's arms. She rested her head on his chest and heard his heartbeat rise, silently yearning to get wrapped around, soaking and drenching in his arms forever.

"Darr lag raha hai kal ke liye?" he asked looking into her eyes.

"Ab nahi lag raha," she replied, again with her weak smile.

"Mujhe lag raha hai."

"Kyu?" She purposely asked while coming closer to him.

He didn't answer back. The next minute, she hums his favorite song.

Kuch pakar khona hai,
Kuch khokar pana hai.
Jeevan ka matlab toh,
Aana aur jaana hai.
Do pal ke jeevan se,
Ek umar churani hai.
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi,
Teri meri kahani hai.

"I can't lose you. Main nahi kar payuga. Tumhare bina nahi Naina," he muttered while tightening his arms around her.

Holding his hand and placing it over her abdomen, she exclaimed, "Iske liye bhi nahi kar payoge, Sameer."

He shook his head in denial and hums the remaining lyrics of the song near her ears.

Tu dhaar hai nadiya ki,
Main tera kinara hoon.
Tu mera sahara hai,
Main tera sahara hoon.
Aankhon mein samandar hai,
Aashaayon ka paani hai.
Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi,
Teri meri kahani hai.

He gets up and finds her sleeping with the same smile adorning her. He tucked her in and put a long kiss on her forehead. But then, in the next moment, his trance broke as heard a long beep sound and saw a few small curves bit by bit turning into one flat line in the ECG connected to her heart, making the time standstill for him. He screamed to call the Doctor the next second.

The doctor came running there and examines her fading beats "Hume abhi Caesarean karna padega. We don't have time."

"Aur Naina..."

"Can't say anything right now. Just pray for her." The doctor took Naina away in the OT.

While Sameer was just staring at the closed doors wondering when it opened next he won't be able to see her again in this lifetime. We all know that we are fated to die one day or another. He also knows that she will depart at some point, abandoning him all alone. But the scariest face of death comes when its freezing hands clutch our close ones.

All the sweet memories they both had created in the last few months unexpectedly becomes a boon and bane for him. For him, it's so even frustrating to breathe. His tears were inaudibly pleading her to stay. That's why Goodbyes are always difficult. It seems as though his heart is torn from his body when he was being separated from her. Silently, he stepped out from there and exited the hospital building.

***

Dear __________

Aap soch rahe hoge ki Mumma ne pehli baar aapko letter likha aur yeh name wali jagah hi blank chod di. Kaisi hi Mumma hai. Par Mumma kya kare, mujhe toh aapka naam pata hi nahi. Maine jab yeh letter likha tha, tab aapka birth nahi hua tha. Aap ekdum chote se the aur Mumma ke tummy mein the. Aur sach batayu toh bahut shararti bhi the. Chaho toh apne Papa se puch lena. Kabhi Mumma ko gudgudi karte the, kabhi kick karte rehte the, aur kabhi toh mere tummy mein hi idhar se udhar ghumte rehte the.
Lekin ab toh aap bade ho gaye hoge. Par Mumma ko toh aapke baare mein kuch pata hi nahi. Mumma bahut durr jo rehti hai aapse...God ke home mein. Isliye toh yeh letter pahuchane mein bhi bahut der lag gayi. Lekin aapne bhi Mumma se kabhi baatein nahi kari. Batao na apne baare mein kuch. Kyuki Mumma ko toh aapke baare mein kuch maloom hi nahi. Yeh bhi nahi  ki aap Boy ho ya Girl. Waise ek secret batayu jab aap mere tummy mein the tab mujhe thoda thoda lagta tha ki aap Girl ho..kaise pata? Aapki Mumma ke pass special magical powers jo hai. Aur phir ladkiyaan zyada pyaari hoti hai...aisa aapke Papa kaha karte the. Isiliye is letter ke saath ek gift bhi bheja hai Mumma ne especially aapke liye. Kholke dekho na.

Opening the box, there was a pair of silver anklets.

Umm..Payal. Yeh Payal aapke Papa ne di thi mujhe...bahut saal pehle. Aur jante ho tab se Mumma ise roz pehanti hai. Ab aap pehanna roz. Pehnogi na? 

Mujhe nahi pata aap yeh letter kab padhoge, magar yeh jarur pata hai ki jab bhi ise padhoge tab aapki Mumma aapke pass nahi hogi. Miss karte ho apni Mumma ko. Main durr beshak jarur gayi hoon par rehti humesha aapke aas pass hi hoon. Kaise? Kabhi garden mein sabse tez udti hui ek  butterfly banke, kabhi barsaat ke baad jo colorful rainbow aata hai us mein, kabhi aasmaan ke sabse brightest star mein, toh kabhi aap mein...aap ke chote se dil mein. Isiliye jab bhi, jahan bhi meri yaad aaye bas apni eyes close kar lena, Mumma yuh jhat se aa jayegi aapke pass..arey apni wohi special magical powers se. Aur jab bhi aapko kuch kehna ho toh aap bhi mujhe aise hi ek letter likh dena, Mumma use apni unhi special powers se padh bhi legi. Thoda sa time jarur lag sakta hai, par padhugi jarur.
Aur jante ho is Payal mein bhi Mumma ki Magical Powers hai jise pehanke aap humesha is Payal ki tarah chanakte rahoge. Aur jitna aap khush rahoge, smile karoge, hasoge...utna hi toh garden ki woh butterfly aur tez ud payegi, barsaat ke baad wala woh rainbow aur colorful dikh payega, sky ka brightest star aur bhi zyada chamkega. Aur aapki Mumma jahan bhi hogi aapko khush dekhke aur khush ho jayegi.

Aur haan ek aur task bhi complete karna padega Mumma ka. Apne Papa ko bhi khush rakhna padega. Zyada miss toh nahi karte mujhe. Karte hi hoge...main janti hoon. Par ab aap dono ko hi ek team bankar is game ko play karna padega, aise beech mein meri tarah quit thodi kar sakte hai. Aur phir Mumma toh hai hi...aap dono ko jeetane ke liye along with my special magical powers. Right. Jab jab bhi woh sad ho toh aap unhe hassa dena, aur jab aap sad ho toh woh aapko hassa dege. Aur jab aap dono sad honge toh Mumma aa jayegi aap dono ke pass. Promise.

Flipping the next page of the letter, Naina's unsaid words spoke loudly.

Aap bhi soch rahe hoge ki main Mumma ki itni saari baatein kyu maano. After all, Mumma toh aapko chodke chali gayi thi. Mumma ko toh aapke baare mein bhi kuch nahi pata. Mumma toh baki baccho ki Mummas ki tarah aapke pass bhi nahi rehti. Bahut...bahut...bahut bad Mumma hoon na main. Aur kabhi kabhi toh aisi bad Mumma par gussa bhi aata hoga. Toh phir kyu unki koi baat maane.
Par baccha pata hai Mumma toh kabhi jana hi nahi chahti thi...na aapko, aur na hi aapke Papa ko aise akela chodkar. Magar phir mujhe ek din jana pada...humesha ke liye God ke pass. Maine God ko bahut baar kaha ki mujhe rehne do yahin par aapke pass, aapke Papa ke pass. Unse request kiya, pray kiya, gussa bhi kiya un par. Par woh nahi mane. Aur jante ho God ne ek din kya kaha..ki aap toh Mumma ke bina reh loge, small baby jarur ho par ho toh bahut strong...ekdum Papa ki tarah. Par main yani God, main bahut week hoon...main nahi reh payuga Naina ke bina. Phir kya...bula liya unhone mujhe ek din apne pass. Aur mujhe aapko aur Papa ko chodkar jana pada.

Lekin maine bhi poori taiyari kar li thi jane se pehle. Dekho na letter likha, ek gift bhi banaya tha aapke liye. Oops..Mumma toh bhul hi gayi woh gift aapko dena. Dekho zara isi box mein hai.

At the bottom of the box, there was a hand-knitted sweater.

Yeh sweater Mumma ne banaya tha apne haathon se aapke liye. Janti hoon thoda bada hi bana diya tha. Kyuki pata tha jab tak yeh letter aap tak pahunchega tab tak toh aap bahut bade ho jayoge. Aur jante ho aise ek aur sweater Papa ke liye bhi banaya hai...bilkul same to same. Aap pehna dena unhe. Aur phir ek saath photograph click karna mat bhulna. Done.
Waise aur bhi taiyari ki thi Mumma ne. Socha tha jane se pehle aapke Papa ko sab ache se seekha dungi, sab kuch bata dungi. Jaise bina baal kheeche Choti kaise banate hai, daily special dishes tiffin mein kaise pack karte hai, small babies ko uniform mein kaise ready karte hai, homework kaise karwate hai, bina cheating ke Ludo kaise khelte hai, Park mein fast fast jhoole kaise dilate hai, slurp slurp karke Ice cream kaise khate hai, Doll House kaise sajate hau, usi Doll ki shaadi mein kya kya karte hai...saari list taiyaar kar li thi Mumma ne. Par unhe kuch bhi batane ki kabhi jarurat hi nahi padi. Kyuki dheere dheere main samajh gayi thi ki woh khud hi sab seekh jayege.
Toh batao karte hai na woh yeh sab aapke liye, agar nahi karte toh mujhe complain kar dena. Main unhe daant laga dungi. Waise aap chaho toh aap bhi laga sakte ho. Woh kuch nahi kahege. Jaise mujhe nahi kaha kehte the. Jante ho kyu...kyuki woh is duniyaa mein sabse zyada mujhse pyaar karte the. Aur mujhse zyada...aapse. Aapko lagta hoga ki sabke pass Mumma hai, par aapke pass nahi hai. Par aapko nahi pata ki aap kitne lucky ho. Kyuki aapke pass toh two-two Mumma hai. Ek main aur dusre aapke Papa, jo aapki Mumma se kum thodi hai.
Itna pyaar toh shayad main bhi aapse nahi kar paati...jitna woh karte aa rahe hoge aapse aur aage bhi karege. Isiliye aap bhi unse humesha double hi pyaar karna...mere hisse ka bhi. Par apni is Mumma ko bhi mat bhul jana. Aapke pass nahi hoon par aapke saath humesha hoon. Butterfly, Rainbow, Star, aapke Heart mein...remember.
Chalo ab Mumma ko jana hoga...baki baatein next letter mein. Love you so much baccha.

Yours
Mumma

Mrs. Braganza keeps her hand over Sameer's shoulder and sat beside him on one bench in the Church Hall. "Yeh box, yeh letter, yeh gifts Naina Madam ne mujhe diye the. Kaha tha jab unka baccha bada ho jaye, in sabko samajhne ke kaabil ho jaye tab yeh main use de du. Unka yeh maanna tha ki yeh sab ek bacche ko uski Maa se jod dega. Lekin shayad usse pehle yeh aapke liye padhna jaruri tha. Us Maa ke har unkahe jazbaat ko padhna jaruri tha jo in words mein chupe hai. Woh Maa jo aaj Hospital mein ladd rahi hai apni life se taki apne bacche ko life de sake, unke chale jane ke baad aapki life mein ek umeed chod ke ja sake. Woh Maa jise yeh tak nahi pata ki woh apne bacche ko kabhi dekh bhi payegi ya nahi. Yeh sab jante hue bhi woh himmat nahi haar rahi. Us deathbed par ladd rahi hai, bina haar maane. Kyuki unhe pata hai ki aap hoge unke baad...unke bacche ke liye. Toh Sir aap kaise haar maan sakte hai. Apni life kaise khatam kar sakte hai jaise abhi Hospital se nikal kar besudh hokar yuh raaste par chale ja rahe the. Aapko toh jeena hi hoga Naina Madam ke liye aur us aane wali zindagi ke liye jiske liye woh ladd rahi hai. Yehi dream toh dekha hai unhone. Jise ab aapko poora karna hoga. Warna woh kaise...kaise..."

"Kaise mar payegi...yehi na Mrs. Briganza. Chutte hue humare is safar mein, tootte hue humare is rishtey mein, bhikharti hui umeedon mein, woh kitna darr rahi hai...main apne darr ke aage yeh dekh hi nahi paya. Har din main yehi sochta raha ki main uske bina kaise jeeyuga, yeh toh kabhi socha hi nahi ki woh mujhe akela chod kar kaise mar payegi."

Getting up, he illuminates one candle before Jesus. "Na mere liye jo apni jaan ko kho raha hai, na hi Naina ke liye jo apni basi basyi duniyaa kho rahi hai...bas sirf us aane wali zindagi ke liye jo apni Maa kho degi...Please sun lijiye yeh wish." He kept that letter there and closes his eyes.

Is guzarte waqt ki
farmaiysh toh dekho,
Thehre lamho ki
aazmaiysh toh dekho.
Dhadakti dhadkan ki khwaish toh dekho,
Is soone dil ki pighalti
tapish ko toh dekho.

Kuch lafz rahe aur
kuch keh diye tumse,
Par lafz bache hai kuch ab bhi lab pe,
Jo na kahe the ab tak
keh rahe hai is pal mein,
Ki aankhon mein doob tum bin dard-e-tanhayi toh dekho.

Kya sabab du tumhari
likhi har baat ka,
Meri unkahi shikayto ki
is andheri raat ka.
Chote se dil mein chupayi hogi na jane kitni hulchal,
Magar tumhe apne kareeb rakhne ka mera har jatan toh dekho.

Yeh raat, yeh baat, yeh nazro se nazro ki hui humari aakhri mulaqaat toh dekho.
Shabdo se bayaa jo na ho paye,
Aisi mohabbat ka
izhaar toh dekho.

Aao..saath jeeye ek baar phir,
Thode aur khwaab
toh saath dekho.
Itni si hi toh hai bas
meri yeh iltizaa,
Itminaan se zindagi bhar ka saath toh dekho.

♡ Never Belittle Love ♡