༻❁༺

Only once Judith was properly settled into the car seat, tucked in nicely with a blanket, Nadia was able shut the door. Securing the baby for the night so the elders could eat some solid foods, if you could even call the can of expired corn that.

"You know I've never heard of a baby being so quiet before," Lincoln exclaimed as he started their fire. "God, I remember my brother screaming if you looked at him wrong at that age," he chuckled.

Nadia only hummed as the memories of Judith in the prison gave her a headache, "Now she is," the girl muttered as she used a rag to clean off her axe.

Nadia's ears figuratively bled at the memories of Judith's first days alive. If living in an echoey cement stone literal prison wasn't bad enough, a newborn with strong lungs made a person want to run straight to death row. Which is ironically where Nadia's room was after they cleared it out.

"Really? She was that bad?" Lincoln's brow turned just like the spark-wheel on his lighter.

She huffed, "Colic."

His teeth were on full display with the way he cringed. The girl only gave a nod as she started to help prepare their dinner, "How did you deal with that?"

"I didn't deal with it," she sighed. "No, I just kept watch as some of the others took care of her. Sometimes at night if I threw a pillow over my head I could drown out her sobs."

Lincoln slightly chuckled as they started to evenly split their can of corn, "I'm guessing that didn't make her the darling of your community, eh?"

"You'd think," Nadia scoffed. "The moment she was fed for the first time everybody wanted a chance to hold her. As if they hadn't seen a baby before. You've seen one, you've seen them all."

"Ah, so all of your community was wrapped around her finger? I bet her parents must've loved that. Use the baby to get what you want?" He joked. "I'm sure it's a way to get a few extra portions at dinner or get out of doing some jobs, right?"

Though his jokes only made her pick at her meal. Rick was never one to throw his responsibilities onto other people. In fact there were many times he'd add more to his workload in order to help out the rest. Even before the apocalypse Rick would pick up extra shifts down at the station to help out his colleagues. One of the many things Lori would yell at him about.

Carl on the other hand would always use Judith to avoid responsibilities. There were many times Nadia could think of at the top of her head where he'd tell people he was watching Judith to avoid chores. Pawning her off on another couple before hiding in his room to read comics.

But Judith's real parents however?

Nadia let out a small huff, muttering, "They weren't around."

Lincoln stopped chewing for a second as he understood what she was implying, "They're..."

"Yeah."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

The Smith boy let out a long breath as he tried to salvage the conversation. After spending so long on his own the thought of not hearing another person's voice made him shiver. Back on the road he used to listen to music to keep him from going completely insane, but it was nothing compared to an actual breathing person.

That's why over the last few days he never shut up. Always trying to spark a conversation with his travel partner, even though he could tell she wasn't interested.

That's why even when the girl snapped at him he just smiled. It may have been hurtful but getting snarky remarks was better than hearing nothing but his own breathing. A sound he was so terrified to hear again he continued to move his lips, "I'm sorry for your loss."

The Grimes girl let out a sudden scoff, "My loss?"

He gave a small shrug, "Well... you must've cared about them. I mean you obviously care for Judy."

"I don't have any feelings towards Judith," Nadia replied quickly before taking a large bite of corn.

That's what made Lincoln laugh, "Well you have a funny way of showing it."

His travel partner shot him a sneer as she turned her nose up, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you expect it to mean?" He shrugged, finding her sneer rather humorous, "You act like she's nothing, but you saved her. Nadia you won't even let me near her, let alone hold her. Hell, you're going to Terminus for her."

"So?" Naida asked. "Just because I don't like her doesn't mean I want her to die. Not on my watch at least. I'm not a monster."

"Never said you were," Lincoln mumbled out an apology, realising his mouth got him in trouble once more.

Growing up he had been sent to the principal's office on multiple occasions for his lips. Even before the apocalypse he never knew when to shut up. Growing up in the Smith household you tend to learn a variety of swear words, but Lincoln had a tendency to speak at the wrong moment.

"I'm sorry, it's just... if you really hate her, you must've had some connection. Was she like... part of your group for long?"

Nadia picked away at the remaining pebbles of her meal. Using the fading metal spoon to push the corn around her makeshift plate. Her eyes closed momentarily as the memories of Shane outing her mother's death sentence played back in her mind.

"Since the beginning," she muttered. "Since the very beginning."

She started to unwillingly think back to the journey her and her mother went through after the Greene family's farm was overrun. She never wanted to leave Lori's side as her stomach grew. Nadia became more like a servant than a daughter. Making sure Lori was comfortable, or rather as comfortable a pregnant woman in the apocalypse could be.

Her fingers started to rub her temple as the final words of Lori Grimes suddenly forced themselves out of the dark place in the back of her mind that Nadia suppressed too. She suddenly felt tears bubble as she tried to force the memories of slicing and screaming away, but they refused to do so.

It seemed as if Lincoln had quickly picked up on her discomfort and quickly tried to backtrack. Leaning over to face her better, "We don't have to talk about it. I understand if you don't want to."

Nadia didn't properly face him as her mind was elsewhere. Focusing on the car Judith was sleeping in. Faint, almost unnoticeable tears started to drip as she continued to remember.

She would have liked to continue to lie to herself. That she saved Judith because even if society was broken, Nadia Marie Grimes wasn't. That's the lie she believed at the time.

She saved the little monster because that's what she did. She was the perfect girl. She helped out. She did what was told. She would never allow anything to happen to a child, no matter what they have done.

But as she stared at the car the sounds of her mother's voice replayed over and over again. She couldn't lie about it anymore.

So with a sigh she put down her plate and wiped the few tears she shed, "I made a promise," she mumbled. "I promised her mother I would protect her."

╔═.✾. ════╗

It all started with three words, "Somethings not right."

At first Nadia didn't properly hear her mother. The snarls of walkers were echoing over the loud sirens that had somehow started to go off within the prison.

The simple afternoon the group was having shifted out of nowhere. Walkers got through the fences and the raid alarms started to play, alerting even more towards their safe haven. Nadia was able to get both her mother and brother inside the prison walls, thinking it would be safer. Not knowing that the dead had already found their way inside.

As they continued to run through the halls Lori struggled to keep up. Nadia was so set on finding an escape she didn't even notice her mother struggling until Carl spoke, "Are you bit?" He asked.

Lori shook her head as her tears became visible by the flashing lights, "No, no, no, no, no," she turned around with a terrified expression. "I think the baby's coming!"

Her eldest's eyes widened in panic as her breathing started to become more and more staggered. More snarls erupted in front of the trio alerting them to the presence of at least a dozen or so walkers coming right towards them.

Nadia hooked Lori's arm over her shoulder and began to run in the other direction, accidentally leading them towards even more undead prisoners. Her mother started to sob in eminence pain as they ran.

"In here!" Carl pointed to the open boiler room and practically pushed his mother and sister inside before slamming the door shut.

As he quickly swept the empty room Lori threw her body into the side of the wall. The contraction causing her to scream to the point the walls shook.

As Nadia helped Carl check the room for any hidden monsters she quickly glanced down at the boy, "Are you hurt? Any scratches? Bites?"

He shook his head, "I'm good. I'm good."

"What are those alarms?" Lori asked as she grabbed onto a few stay metal chains for support.

Once she knew the room was safe, Nadia ran to her mother and gave the woman her undivided attention, "Dad'll handle it. We will be fine."

"What if it attracts them?" Carl looked around.

"We are going to be fine as long as we stay in here," she lied for all three of their sakes.

Though Lori barely paid attention as she let out another wail, "Okay mom you need to lay down," Nadia quickly told her as the mother cried.

"No, the baby's coming now," she panted.

"We have to go back to our cell block to have Hershel help-"

"It's crawling with walkers already if we leave now mom might not be able to run fast enough, even if we carry her," Nadia cut the boy off.

Lori nodded between her gasping attempts for air, "She's right... I'm gonna have to give birth to this baby here."

Nadia's calm exterior suddenly cracked, "Wh-what? Wait, that's not what I meant. I don't know how to deliver a baby," she tried to mask her absolute terror but instead the words came out deliberately panicked. "I don't know what I can do to help."

She huffed through her discomfort and gave her daughter a small glance, "It's fine. I've done this before... I can coach you..." she trailed off as her inhales became quicker and quicker.

Carl's eyes widened as she counted to pant, "What is she doing, can't she breathe?"

His sister rubbed his mother's back as she went through her contraction, "She's fine, her body is just preparing itself to deliver," Nadia explained before kneeling down. "Let's get your pants off quick."

Lori nodded before glancing at her son, "You are gonna need to be strong for me okay? Nadia's gonna need your help with this," she huffed out.

Carl quickly looked between them as his sister helped Lori lay down and took off her pants, "Okay you need to see how far I'm dilated," Lori explained as they discarded her pants and underwear.

"Do you know how?" Carl asked.

She continued to groan, "It should be a large enough opening for an orange," she explained between breaths.

"Okay," Nadia nodded and looked at her mother's interior, trying to get an idea of what to be looking for, "I... uh," her squinting didn't help as the lack of light made it hard to tell. "Mom, I don't know. It's too dark to tell."

She groaned and threw her head back, "I gotta push," Nadia nodded and helped her back to her feet as she kept repeating the statement.

She latched her hands around one of the poles and started to push their sibling out, "Nadia!" Lori screamed as the pain I could only imagine worsened.

Nadia's hand grasped hers as the other rubbed her back, "Great job. You've got this. You're doing amazing," Nadia coached her, trying not to show any emotion over how Lori's grip was making her hand purple.

"I'm okay, I'm okay... I'm okay," she said through tears before continuing to push.

Nadia continued to praise her mother as she knelt back down to check the progress, "That's it, you can do it again. You've done it twice now your body knows what it's doing." It was still hard for Nadia to see any possible changes. So reaching up Nadia tried to feel anything near Lori's legs, but quickly shouted once she saw something else instead, "Mom, stop! Stop pushing!"

She screamed out in agony from her daughter's painful demand, "What's- what's wrong?! What's going on?!" Carl ran to Nadia's side as the teenager revealed a hand coated in a layer of blood.

Both were too scared to move as they stared at Lori's blood. Not even caring that the alarms turned off.

Their mother's crying suddenly started to dwindle as she slipped away from the pole, "Whoa, whoa!" Her kids came back to reality and caught the woman, gently manoeuvring her to the floor.

"Mom? Mom, look at me, look at me, keep your eyes open!" Carl demanded as her eyes fluttered.

As Carl checked her pulse, Nadia looked below at her mother's opening. Her stomach dropping at the sight of fresh hot blood painting Lori's legs and vaginal area, "W-We have to find a way to get you to Hershel immediately," she tried to think of a solution, but her mind was already running a mile a minute. "There's no way this is supposed to happen."

Lori slowly blinked as she was becoming weaker by the moment, "I'm not make it."

"Don't talk like that!" Nadia demanded and continued to check her cervix, "I don't know if you're even properly dilated. You need to stop pushing so we can get you out of here," somehow.

"Sweetheart," she huffed. "I'm not gonna make it out of here, but I'm not losing my baby. You've gotta cut me open."

It was at that moment it felt like time had completely stopped for Nadia Grimes, "What?"

Part of her wondered if Lori's question was even real, or if anything going on was. She wondered... Maybe this was all just a dream. Maybe Nadia had taken one too many melatonins. Her mother always said they were bad for her and it was the only logical explanation. This has to be a drugged up dream.

Any moment now she'd wake up to her alarm in her twin size bed in King County. Lori would call her down for breakfast and she'd slowly pull herself from my fluffy comforter to join them. Rick would be in his uniform reading the paper as Carl would be rambling off about the latest comic he read. Then her mother would place her lumpy pancakes on the table making Carl groan in annoyance. Though he would quickly shut up once Nadia pushed him out of her chair and sat to join them.

But that wasn't going to happen. Nadia wasn't going to wake up, because she was already awake.

Dreams were never this cruel.

"Nadia..." Lori barely got the name out as the blood continued to drip.

Her daughter aggressively shook her head, not wanting to hear it, "No. No, we need to find a way to get you to Hershel. We need to fix this-"

"There isn't time," she told her. "You don't have a choice."

Carl quickly stood up and ran towards the door, "I'll go for help."

"No!" Lori shouted for him to stop as another contraction took place. Her eldest's grip on her knees started to slip as she tried to talk some sense into the woman in pain, "Mom I don't even know how to deliver a baby normally. I-I can't just cut you... open," simply saying it outloud made her shake.

Lori slowly reached up, her hand gently latching onto Nadia's bloody one, "Please..."

"Mom we have nothing to even do it with-"

"Carl has a knife."

"Mom, do you even hear what you're asking? If I... if I even considered doing it you would die," the words tasted like vinegar on the teen's tongue.

Though as seconds passed Lori could tell both her and the baby were running out of time. Her skin started to go pale and her speaking was staggering. But she still begged, "My baby has to survive... your sibling needs to survive. Please..." her breathing became even heavier. "My baby, for all of us... Please, Nadia! Please. Please..."

Nadia felt like she was going insane. She tried to say something, but only had the strength to meekly shake her head, "N... no."

She let go of her daughter's hand and pulled up her shirt, "See my old C-section scar?" Lori showed her the faint pink line on her stomach.

"Mom-"

"You need to take Carl's knife and-"

"Mom. No-!"

"You cut my stomach open and continue to dig in until you see my baby-"

"Stop it! I'm not doing that-"

"Nadia," Lori ended their final back and forth by grabbing Nadia's face and yanking her closer. "You can do this. You have to do this, okay? I want this," she said with a meek smile.

The seventeen year-old's chest started convulsing as large chunky tears started to run down her face, "Mama... no."

Her mother let go of her cheeks and glanced at the boy sitting next to her, "Carl?" He quickly grabbed her hand, "Baby, now you- you take care of your daddy for me, all right? Keep your sister safe. And your little brother or sister, you take care-"

"You don't have to do this," he started to cry as well.

Though she only smiled, "You're gonna be fine... You are gonna beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave! And I love you."

"I love you too," he said between sobs.

"Nadia," Lori then grabbed both of her hands. "You do not blame yourself for this, you hear me? I wanted this, not you. You are not the monster here."

Though Nadia only wanted to wake up from this nightmare now, "O-Okay," she cried.

"Say it."

She blinked, "W-What?"

"Say you are not responsible. Say it," her mother's voice was more coarse. Desperate.

"I... I am not responsible for this."

Lori smiled once more, "That's my girl," she wiped away her daughter's tears. "You have to take care of them now. Just like you have been for years. You keep them safe."

"I will," Nadia promised her.

"You have always been my happy girl and I love you so much."

"I love you too mommy."

She grabbed Carl's hand and began to hold onto both of her children, "You both gotta do what's right, babies. You promise me, you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world."

The weighing of the Grimes children was louder than the sirens that vanished minutes ago, "So don't... so if it feels wrong, don't do it, all right? If it feels easy don't do it. Don't let the world spoil you. You're so good!"

She wiped away her son's tears one final time, "You're my sweet boy and my happy girl! The best thing I ever did!"

She pulled the two of them towards her. Sobbing as they cherished their final goodbye, "I love you! I love you. You're my sweet, sweet babies, I love you both so much!"

She held onto them for what felt like both eternity and a second all at once. Peppering their faces in kisses as Nadia tried to disappear into her side. She didn't want to let go. She wouldn't have let go. Hell, if Lori didn't pull away Nadia would've stayed there with her, "Okay... okay, now."

The eldest regretfully pulled back to a seated position as her mother turned her full attention towards her, "Okay. Nadia, when this is over, you're gonna have to..."

"Mom," Nadia whimpered, shaking her head as Lori tried to shush her.

"No, you have to do it. It can't be your daddy," she told her before she kept repeating how this was not Nadia's fault and how everything would be alright.

Nadia hesitantly took the knife from Carl as her mom gave her one last kiss on the forehead, "Keep each other safe," she squeezed both hers and Carl's hands and looked up at the ceiling. Laying down and preparing to go to sleep, "Goodnight, my loves."

Forcing herself to breathe, Nadia squeezed her eyes shut as the blade shook within her grasp, "I'm so sorry mom, I love you so much."

And with that, Nadia Grime sliced the knife into her mother's skin.

No one truly knows which of the three was screaming the loudest as the knife was opening Lori Grimes. Nadia's teeth clenched over her lips to cease her blubbering, while Carl started to scream at his sister, "What are you doing to her?!"

Nadia ignored him as the sounds of her mom's cries of death disappeared out of nowhere as she finally passed out from the shock. And suddenly she stopped crying too. It was as if a switch had just turned off, allowing her to focus exclusively on getting the baby out of her mother's womb. Emotions vanished as she was dissecting her own creator.

Carl moved closer as she forced him to help, holding Lori's stomach open as Nadia continued to dig. Elbow deep, locating a leg. Quickly moving some of the organs around, she was able to pull a small baby girl out completely.

A quiet baby girl.

Nadia's stomach dropped as she quickly cut the umbilical cord and lightly began to tap on the baby's back. And once a new cry was heard she completely lost it once more.

Carl stopped sobbing as he saw the bloody infant in his sister's arms and tore off his jean jacket. Handing it to Nadia so she could swaddle the babe.

As if in a state of shock, Nadia didn't look back at the mess she made and slowly stood with the baby in her arms, "W-We need to get out of here... They'll smell the blood," her tears carved paintings on her bloody face.

"We- we can't just leave her here," Carl jumped up. "She'll turn."

Letting out a sharp breath Nadia began to reach for her gun, "No," Carl gripped the elder girl's wrist.

She frowned, "Carl she asked me to-"

"She's my mom too," he sniffled, pulling out his own weapon. "I won't let you carry this alone."

Nadia wanted to say no. She almost did, but as the baby continued to squirm she realised it was a losing battle. So Nadia nodded, "Okay."

Her legs suddenly started to move. Leading her towards the door and giving it a slight peak so she could see all the remaining walkers heading off in another direction, meaning the trip outside wouldn't be as dangerous as before.

BANG.

╚════.✾. ═╝

"You were close with her mother?"

The girl with the axe let out a small sigh, "More than you could ever know."

Lincoln nodded, moving to sit slightly closer towards her, "And her father-"

"Fuck her father," she said eerily calm, as just the thought of Shane Walsh made her want to puke. "He got what he deserved."

Her travel companion could sense the anger she seemingly had towards the father of Judith by the tone of voice alone. Though the way she gripped her fireman's axe gave him more of an insight.

Nadia's fingers hurt as she removed them from the axe to wipe away one of the tears that had found its way out, "Her mom was... very special to me. My dad was the leader of our group and... they didn't get along," she let out a staggered sighed. "So when she fell pregnant and my father killed Judith's real one, I was the one there for her mom."

Lincoln only nodded, listening, "I made a promise before she died. I said I'd protect Judith and my brother and..." she grit her teeth as the realisation of her failure washed over her. Nadia took a pause as she could just picture what her brother's final moments might have been like.

She tried to fight the whimper that forced its way out before quickly tapping her face to stop herself from crying, "And I'm not failing twice."

The boy just watched as she wiped her nose, going back to cleaning her weapon as if she was fine. But still even in the almost nonexistent moonlight of that dark night he could see the pain clinging to her face.

His thumb started to run over his simple bracelet, playing with the two gold rings he had recently wove into the shoelaces. Hesitating for a moment before speaking, "So that's why you're giving her up."

The Grimes girl sighed, "The baby will be safer in a community than with me. Her mom... wanted her to survive and she shall," Nadia's hand went up to where her necklace was supposed to be, rubbing her empty neck instead to calm herself down.

Lincoln frowned though as he tried to say something a sudden sound of movement made the two completely freeze. Dropping their conversation Nadia held her axe a little tighter as Lincoln gripped the hilt of his swords. Waiting.

After a few beats of silence with nothing visible coming from the woods they went back to looking towards the fire. Nadia being met by the barrel of a C7 Rifle. Her brown eyes exploded as she glanced up, seeing the larger man staring her down.

And unlike her companion she didn't scream.

Instead she just remained frozen as she stared at the three figures decked out to the nines in equipment. Hunting rifles and a bow with a few large bags to show off their power. They were large too. Not overly heavy but broad.

And their eyes showed nothing but unsavoury thoughts.

"Just slide that little axe over to me, little one," the one pointing his rifle at her commanded.

Nadia, knowing not to fight it, slid the axe across the pavement, going towards the car. Unlike Lincoln who tried and failed to keep his swords attached to his person.

"Much better," his yellow teeth became on display. "Check the bags."

When Nadia was younger her cheer coach had been a great help to her and her teammates. So as well as practising basic cheers the team had been to a few self defence seminars. Saying since they went on so many overnight trips to competitions they needed to protect themselves from any unsavoury people on the way.

Part of that included basic street smarts, 'If faced with a mugging, give them what they need.' So Nadia just remained calm and silent as they took their belongings.

But even she wasn't quite too sure why she didn't even bother fighting back as the gun was dug deeper into her temple. How she just allowed the man to force her to the ground. Suddenly she could barely hear the voices of her attackers as they started to muddle within her brain.

It was almost as if a switch had turned off in her mind. Like she didn't care anymore.

She was just done. Done with everything, as what was the point? Was there a point anymore? Nothing mattered. Not to her at least.

It was still rather still. The Nadia Grimes going out in the street like one of the mistresses of the night. Used and killed.

The entire Grimes family was wiped out in the most ironic of ways. The cop was killed by bullets, the mother by her own children, the child by monsters and the daughter by men. Tragic really.

This is not how Nadia wanted to go. This wasn't how she was supposed to go. For she was Nadia Marie Grimes, for Christ sake.

She had so much potential. Oh so much. The girl with many titles to her name alone. She was Little Miss Washington in 2001, as well as Miss Georgia in 2008. She won multiple pageant and could have made wallpaper out of her stacks of sashes and ribbons. School was no different either. Being the head cheerleader, getting her team to nationals and becoming the second runners up. The Student Body President who never let the power go to her head. She was what she deemed to be the most well put together teen in society. But it was all for nothing.

Nothing.

Every single late night she spent up trying to make her parents proud was for nothing.

She wasted her life and now it was about to be taken from her. Fighting wouldn't make much of a difference so she just closed her eyes and prayed they'd kill her before they started. Ignoring Lincoln's begging to let her go as she tried to just tune it all out. Maybe if she pretended things were fine she could manage.

Or at least that was her plan until Judith started to cry, "Oh shit they've got a kid!" One of her attackers announced to the others.

Nadia felt any strength she had suddenly vanish as they opened the car door to get to the baby, "N-No, no!" She felt herself starting to fight as the man pushed her back down as the man told her to stop.

But she didn't. Instead the very terrified teenager looked up at the hook-nosed man. Her mind was still blank as a sudden instinct took over. Without even thinking of the consequences Nadia flashed her straight teeth and bit down on the man's nose, tearing it off his face.

•••