༻❁༺

For the first time in months Nadia Grimes was able to let out a sigh in relief. Basking in the knowledge that she knew they would be safe once they awoke. Sinking her teeth into her small portion of squirrel the teenager let out a soft hum as she and her family sat around the campfire.

A prison wasn't what one would expect for a group of survivors to claim as a safe haven, but in all actuality it was the smartest possible place to turn. From the looks of their claimed camp the building seemed to be mostly intact. All the fences were still standing and most of the walkers they cleared so far were in uniform.

Of course Nadia didn't want to get her hopes up but she had a good feeling about this place.

After a full day of shooting and heavy lifting the group was able to clear the massive courtyard. Hauling the eighty-two walker bodies she counted they officially claimed the overgrown grassy area as their own. Setting down their sleeping bags Glenn lit a fire to keep the warmth alive in the dead of the late summer night.

Leaning into her mother's side, Nadia sucked on her bones to try and get a bit more enjoyment out of the light meal she was given. Closing her eyes to enjoy the peaceful moment.

"Mmmm... Just like mom used to make," Glenn sarcastically swallowed the last of his portion before throwing the bone in the distance.

Nadia's little brother lifted up his bowl of cooked squirrel and offered a bit more to his sister but she quickly shook her head, "Eat it," she whispered as the others continued to speak.

"Tomorrow, we'll put all the bodies together. We want to keep them away from that water. Now, if we can dig a canal under the fence, we'll uh have plenty of fresh water," one of her friends T-Dog planned out.

Hershel nodded, "The soil is good, we could plant some seeds, grow some tomatoes, cucumbers, soybeans."

The girl's eyes trailed down to her mother's bowl and saw how little she had yet to eat. At first she tried to silently get the lady's attention by holding up the plastic dish, but Lori seemed too preoccupied to notice. Instead focusing on her husband as he repeatedly walked around the fences, triple checking for weak points.

"That's his third time around. If there was any part of it compromised, he'd have found it by now," Hershel frowned.

"Mom," Nadia said a few times before having to tap her. "Mom."

Lori finally glanced back at her daughter as the bowl was brought closer to her. The brunette gave a light thank you as she removed her hand from her massive stomach and plucked a bone from the pile.

Beth Greene, a girl close in age to Nadia, moved a little closer to the pregnant woman with a grin, "This will be a good place to have the baby," Beth smiled from the other side. "Safe."

Lori's daughter quickly agreed, "Yeah," her hand wove with her mother's free one. "Just what we needed."

Though the pregnant woman could only give the two girls each a half smile as the sound of crickets and walkers filled the void. When Nadia would look back on the days before the death of her mother she would see all the signs she chose to ignore.

"Bethy, sing Paddy Reilly for me," Hershel asked his youngest. "I haven't heard that, I think, since your mother was alive."

Maggie quickly sighed, "Daddy, not that one, please."

"How about uh... Parting Glass?"

Beth began to blush as the lot of them stared at her, "No one wants to hear." Which was completely false considering the half asleep boy, Carl Grimes, quickly perked up and gave the blonde his full attention.

"Why not?" Glenn smiled as the rest all nodded in agreement, as she did have a really nice voice.

"Come on, Beth. It's not like you have any critics out here besides them," Nadia used her thumb to gesture to the groaning walkers on the other side of the fences.

Eventually after a bit more pestering the peer pressure was able to work, causing Beth to let out a small sigh and began to sing. Her voice adding more comfort into the atmosphere as the group settled down for the night.

Nadia tightened her hand on her mother's in order to command the pregnant woman to look away from her husband and just enjoy the moment. Soon she linked her arm with Lori's as the mother rested her head on her's, listening to both the Greene sisters sing. 

Rick eventually joined near the end of the song and sat between both his children, taking the bowl from Carl. Though instead of eating anything he pushed it towards the Grimes girls. 

"I had some," Lori shouldn't have bothered speaking as Rick forced the bowl into her hands. With a sigh she took another small piece before handing it to her eldest.

The teenager hesitantly grabbed a small bone and made sure to leave the largest chunk for her father. Though when he denied it she had to force it into his hand, digging her nails into his wrist to further send the message.

Hershel smiled as the sounds of cracking fire filled the air, "Beautiful."

Rick took a small bite of his squirrel before addressing the tired lot, "Better all turn in. I'll take watch over there, we've got a big day tomorrow."

Nadia raised a brow and was about to ask him a question but Glenn beat the girl to it, "What do you mean?"

The leader sighed, "Look, I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win. But we gotta push just a little bit more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards or prisoners, looks like this place fell pretty early. Could mean the supplies may be intact. They have an infirmary, a commissary," he listed.

"An armoury?" Daryl added.

He nodded, "That would be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden's offices would have info on the location. Weapons, food, medicine, this place could be a gold mine!"

Hershel frowned as Beth moved closer to him, "We're dangerously low on ammo. We'll run out before we make a dent."

"That's why we gotta go in there. Hand to hand. After all we've been through, we can handle it, I know it," Rick then glanced down at the youngest member of the group and his entire attitude shifted. Smiling, he jokingly pushed Carl, "These assholes don't stand a chance."

At the sight of her little brother smiling up at her father Nadia couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions. Excitement. Months of running from a never ending battle against an unbeatable army could make any person feel like giving up, yet for some reason they never did.

And with the opportunity before them Nadia couldn't help but chuckle as she stared at the prison before her. It was a chance. A proper chance of not just surviving, but maybe at living.

And Nadia Grimes intended on living.

If only that excited girl could see herself almost an entire year later. Sitting against a tree the now eighteen year-old Nadia Grimes breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. The once happy daughter of the sheriff now sat shell shocked in the middle of nowhere trying her best to process what she had just done.

Her axe sat on her lap as her hands struggled to stay still. The blood and brain matter sloshing as she ran her convulsing fingertips up and down the handle. It felt as if she were finger painting the wood. Letting her victim's warm fluids colour the faded brown as she focused on the fire before her.

Her new travel partner, a boy named Lincoln, had started it not long ago in order to warm the girl up as she refused a blanket. Though the fire only shined a light on the messed up appearance Nadia now had.

Her braid was now undone. All matted from the way her attackers had pulled on it. The grey shirt she wore now black from seeping in so much blood, and the guts sticking to her pale skin didn't add many points in the beautiful portion. Which was rather funny as Nadia was a well decorated beauty queen with a few state titles back in the day.

Glancing towards her left, Nadia watched Lincoln shush Judith, rocking her back and forth as he cleaned the blood of Nadia's victims from her forehead. A little while prior she had tried to hold the baby but Lincoln recommended she take a moment to calm down.

Turning her attention back to what was in front of her, her wide brown eyes focused on the mutilated bodies before her. Staring blankly as the steam of their still warm carcasses raised above her.

Her mouth still hurt from what she did to the closest one to her. And when she ran her tongue across her braces the teenager could still feel the bits of his skin and cartilage stuck within the metal wires.

It didn't matter how long she had been doing this, the feeling of killing never brought her any comfort. Especially if those lives she took were properly living beforehand. Rick and Carl both tried to explain to her that killing was part of life now. That she would have to do it eventually.

But this was a girl who struggled to kill bug's because it made her feel bad. She slightly still struggled to kill walkers, except she did it because she knew she had no choice. They had no brain function or soul inside to justify being "alive". They were just mindless drones.

But for some reason as she glared at the bodies before her she felt no remorse. Not that she should have. Nadia Grimes didn't kill humans, but those monsters were anything but so.

It is strange how a person's entire ideologies can change within moments, but this was a one-eighty that the girl did not see a few days prior.

༻❁༺

"So... how does this work exactly?" Lincoln cringed as he watched the girl tying string between the trees.

"It's an alarm system," Nadia huffed as she tightened the rope around the final tree.

The boy stared at the sight before him in a mixture of fascination and confusion. When the sun started to set Nadia directed him to a small portion in the woods to set up camp. He originally went to climb a tree but stopped when he watched the girl take out a rope and proceeded to tie it around a few trees in a circle around the trio.

Keeping his hand firmly on his sword hilt he glanced at the rope before back at the permanently annoyed girl, "...how?"

Nadia suddenly slapped the rope causing the bottles she attached to loudly clank together, "Get it now?" She said flatly.

"Uh..." Lincoln tried to properly grasp the explanation, especially as he didn't want to look like an idiot in front of the girl. "Sure?"

The teenager turned back to the boy, "You can just say no, you know?"

He cringed, "Okay... yeah, I have no clue how a bunch of baby bottles and rope can be a security system. It doesn't seem like a good amount of protection in all honesty. It doesn't seem like this could stop all of them."

With an eye roll Nadia ran a hand up and down the baby still attached to her chest, keeping Judith calm after the noise spooked her, "It's to alert us when we're sleeping, not stop them."

She put her hand on the rope, "We have it about waist level, since walkers vary in sizes. Keep it around our camp so when they bump into it, the bottles will alert us of their presence and we can put them down."

"And it works?" He poked one of the bottles half filled with stones to make more noise.

"I'm alive, aren't I?"

Lincoln pressed his lips together, "Fair point..."

Nadia gave a thinline smile as she made her way to the centre of their campsite. Only once she was sure it was safe she released Judith from her chest and let the baby stretch out. Her new acquaintance slowly sat down in complete fascination as he watched the girl pull out some formula and began to feed the babe.

"So are they a girl or a boy?" He moved slightly closer.

Nadia shifted her arms slightly to keep some distance between them and the new boy. He quickly realised he was overstepping and crawled a few inches away, "Sorry..."

"It's fine," Nadia huffed as she burped the baby. "She's a girl."

"She got a name?"

The teen froze as she debated on whether or not to give out that information. Personally, she had never used the name herself before. A name held a lot of value, made something human, a person. Something she refused to have with the killer of her mother.

Yet the name the baby was given, was given by her little brother. Even if Nadia had no interest in ever using the name, Carl chose it. If Nadia's plan was going to work and give Judith to the community she was going to, the people at Terminus would most definitely ask what the child's name was. If she kept her mouth shut the community would most likely give the baby a new name, which would be a direct insult to her late brother.

She may despise Judith but Carl loved her. He always did. And he always made it a point to yell at his big sister for not wanting anything to do with his precious little one. 

And Nadia loved Carl. So she could bite her pride and say it just once, "Judith. Her name is Judith," she'd say it so at least a bit of Carl could live on.

The Smith boy flashed a smile as he looked down at her and gave a little wave, "Hi Judith, you have a very pretty name."

Judith, who was excited by the sudden high voice, gave a little giggle as she waved back. Lincoln chuckled as he waved his finger, "I didn't think these existed anymore, but she's adorable. How old?"

"Uh... almost a year I guess?" Nadia shrugged. Ever since the loss of her mother the days sort of muddled together.

He gave a nod as Judith reached out for him. His eyes widened in excitement as he went to reach for her but Nadia quickly repositioned Judith away from him.

The boy chuckled as Judith started to babble. Watching the small girl slap Nadia's face a few times before the woman stopped her, "So she's your sister then?"

"She's not my sister," Nadia's response was quick, as if she had said the statement before. Which she had. Multiple times.

"Oh..." Lincoln trailed off as he watched the girl hold the child close, "Sorry it's just... well you're not her mom but you seem to have a connection of sorts-"

"She's part of... was part of my group," Nadia sighed. "I'm just the one who got stuck with her."

She knew that he knew that a cord was struck as he sat up straight, pulling out some of his own supplies, "You two got separated?"

"It's really none of your business."

Lincoln, taking the hint, smacked his lips apart, "Okay... sorry," he said before scrounging around for more supplies, eventually pulling out a blue water bottle.

She watched him open the cap before making eye contact. The aggressively happy boy held it out for her, though she quickly shook her head. They may be stuck together but she didn't trust him. Not in the slightest. Trust had to be earned, which he had not. So to prove his point Lincoln took a swig of his water and wiped his face before holding it out once more.

It took a few seconds for her to grab the bottle and take a sip before greedily taking a few more, making him only smirk, "I'll start a fire."

༻❁༺

When you travel with the same group of people for an extended period of time you tend to run out of things to talk about. Nadia's first winter during the apocalypse was a prime example of that. As the group of eleven or so spent the days combing the streets for food the needs for their voices became limited. Of course they would make light conversations here and there, but they never lasted long.

The most you could get was a simple, "Are you feeling okay?" Or "Were you bit?" The need for speaking was no longer part of society at times. A trait that the girl still carried to that day.

If only her new companion carried the same trait.

"I mean, I'm sure you think it may seem disgusting, but it's actually full of vitamins; add a bit of hot sauce on it and I can make it taste delicious. Can't even tell it's meant for dogs," Lincoln chuckled as they walked down the tracks.

She had to hold in a plethora of unpleasantries as she was forced to listen to his stories of food, the past and his favourite walker kills. From the moment she allowed him to join her till that very second Lincoln Smith hadn't shut up.

Even at the prison the new arrivals never moved their lips so much, but then again Nadia wasn't the most friendly person so that might have had something to do with it.

The only good part about his constant ramblings was the fact she could tell where he was at all times. She didn't have to ever look behind her back because he seemed to always want to be in her foreground. It didn't make her feel safer but it calmed her nerves slightly.

They always said the first night was the hardest, and Nadia couldn't agree more. Even if he never showed any ill will towards her or Judith, she couldn't take any chances. Sleeping with her hand firmly gripped around her Colt Python.

It seemed as if Lincoln was picking up on her annoyance as he stopped his latest story mid sentence, "I'm taking too much aren't I? Oh, I am so talking too much. I'm sorry."

"It's... it's fine," she lied.

He cringed, "It's not though... I'm sorry. My mom always said I talked too much and it's been so long since I've talked to anyone but my swords and-" he lightly slapped himself. "Oh my god, why did I say that?! I swear I'm not insane. I don't talk to my swords, it was just a joke and-"

"Okay. It's... you don't need to apologise," she tried to stop him for both of their benefits.

The boy gave her a pair of pleading eyes as he gripped his backpack a little tighter, "I really hope this doesn't change your opinion on me. I really don't know why I said that. It's just been a very long time since I've seen a living person."

She let out a hum, "Honestly if you weren't insane I would've been concerned. No one is mentally well anymore."

Lincoln let out a breath in relief as he briefly stopped walking, "Thank you... I uh, I think?"

He quickly caught up to her as they continued on their way. Judith stayed calmly awake still wrapped to Nadia's chest as she made a few noises here and there. Even if the talking bothered Nadia, it at least filled the void. It may have been soul sucking but it meant she wasn't thinking about the bodies of her entire family she couldn't bury.

And thankfully right as another memory of them started to seep into her heart Lincoln let out a gasp to make it vanish, "Hey look!" He ran ahead. "A sign. Literally!"

She joined him by the two signs sticking a few feet above the ground on top of each other. The bottom one containing a map with exact coordinates to their location circled out with the label reading, "Terminus". While the top was a painted sign with the statement, "Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive."

"Those who arrive survive... thank god, eh?" Lincoln elbowed the girl, getting only a thin line smile in response. "We should keep going. We're losing daylight."

As she started to walk again Lincoln couldn't help but wonder something. Quickly catching up to her, "Hey Naddie, can I ask you something?"

"Don't call me that," she quickly turned her nose up.

"Great," he moved in front of her and started to walk backwards so he could properly face his acquaintance. "So I know this may be a little personal but I'm super curious."

She huffed, "And that would be...?"

"Why are you going to Terminus?" His question made her deadpan worsen. "N-Not that I don't want you to go, I'm actually really grateful you're taking me with you but..."

Nadia pressed her lips together, "But?"

Lincoln did his best not to offend the girl carrying both a child and a gun, "Um... it's just, uh... you don't really seem like the community type."

The teenager paused mid step as she stared at the boy. Her brows lowered for a split second as she murmured, "Thanks."

He quickly shook his head and tried to fix his statement, "No! No, I didn't mean anything bad by it. I was just... well-"

"I don't give off friendly energy?" She said in an overly peppy tone from her cheer days.

The boy gave a meek shrug, making her loudly scoff. Nadia nudged him out of her way and continued to walk down the tracks, "Exactly how long has it been since you've talked to a person?"

The brunette boy gave an awkward chuckle as he ran his hand through his hair, which was enough of an answer for the girl. Giving an eye roll she muttered, "My god..." before huffing. "And to answer your question, I'm not." Her response was as snippy as she was.

Lincoln stopped waking for a second as he tried to understand her words, only when he was able to understand them it left him even more confused, "What... what does that mean?!" He ran back up to her.

"Exactly what I said. I'm not staying in Terminus," she said. "I have no reason too."

"But..." he moved in front of her, "But if it's safe why wouldn't you want to stay? Why- why are you even going? Are you... are you gonna rob it or something?" He whispered the last part, which completely dumbfounded Nadia Grimes.

"Why are you whispering? We are the only people around," she gawked at the boy, moving around him. "I'm not gonna rob the place. I'm just not staying."

"Then why are you even going?"

Nadia gestured to the baby covered by her jacket, "For her."

He raised his brow accumulated in grime from the months on the road, "What?"

With a huff Nadia continued to travel at a steady pace, "I have no need to be in a community. I tried it out. It didn't work. I don't want to go through that again," she paused as the memories of fire and walkers breaking down the fences flooded her mind.

She pressed her eyes shut as she forced the trauma down, "I'm not selfish though. I'm not going to force this child into unsafe travel because I simply don't want it."

Lincoln gave a small frown, "So you're just leaving her there?"

"It's safe. Safer than with me," the teenager expressed her opinion before walking a little faster. "We should keep going. Maybe there's some sort of shelter ahead."

Thankfully her travel partner understood that as a cue to shut up as the two continued to walk. Going past a few walkers here and there, a couple signs and even an empty car. The pair stared at the vehicle before the boy smirked.

"I got this," he proudly proclaimed. "My dad taught me how to break into a car without messing up the window."

Nadia gave a rather unassumed hum, "Oh what a joy," her resting bitch face suddenly shifted the moment a warm and wet feeling appeared against her chest.

Her eyes exploded as the smell filled her nostrils. She didn't need to feel Judith whimpering to know what had just happened. If she remembered correctly Lori had called them, "Blowouts." With an angered huff Nadia slowly took off her backpack and her jacket. Her windbreaker was thankfully not that damp, but her shirt was another story.

Placing the jacket on the grass she removed Judith from her person and gently placed her on the soft surface. Gagging, Nadia cleaned the baby off and changed her diaper, then clothing before focusing on herself.

The girl couldn't help but wonder if this were a punishment from Rick Grimes. A message of disappointment, something she had received a lot, from beyond the grave, as she was wearing a fireman's shirt after all. Without even thinking Nadia pulled her shirt with a large brown splotch off.

"Whoa?!" Her head turned to a very distraught Lincoln Smith.

The teenage girl, in full survival mode, pulled out her gun and quickly began to look around, "What is it? What did you see?" Though instead of a walker snarl Nadia heard an embarrassed whimper.

She watched in total confusion at the sight of Lincoln. Red as a cherry with his hands covering his eyes. The girl blinked a few times as he turned around, "Are you okay?"

The brunette cringed, "I'm not looking. I didn't mean to look. I'm sorry."

She blinked a few more times in awe at how flustered her travel partner had become. She honestly didn't realise what exactly was his problem until glancing down.

Oh. Oh.

Privacy wasn't really a concept in today's so called society. And if you were to take into consideration how Nadia had been basically on the road with the same group of people for well over a year, it was no surprise she had become desensitised. You see things. There's no way out of it. The most you could do is either act like nothing's wrong or react and alert walkers to your location.

That being said she honestly didn't see anything wrong with stripping on the tracts. Looking down at her sports bras before back at him her nose turned up, "You got a fear of boobs or something?"

She watched the boy's body tense at the mention of her breast, "Um... no! No, it's just I don't want to make you uncomfortable..."

"Why would it make me uncomfortable? They're just a body part," Nadia boredly proclaimed as she started putting Judith's cleaning supplies away, still topless.

Though the Smith boy gawked, "Yeah but- it's still a private part. Don't I need like consent to see that shit?"

"Why, you wanna fuck me or something?" Nadia sarcastically asked in a similar high pitched tone to Lincoln's.

"No?!"

She sat back and scoffed, "Then there's no big deal. They're breasts. We all have them. Walkers all eat them. It's meat on our bones, move on."

Her travel partner started to stumble over his own words before getting out the next sentence, "Well w-what if I just pulled my dick out, huh? Wouldn't you get all uncomfortable and shit too?" Lincoln crossed his arms.

The Grimes girl let out a huff, "I spent most of this apocalypse with mostly men. I've seen my fair share of body parts on accident. Unless it was coming towards me I don't give a fuck."

Which was true. Even back at the first refugee camp she lived in Nadia had accidentally walked in on people changing, pissing and sadly even having sex. She had seen it all and had lost the ability to care as long as it wouldn't affect her personally.

Lincoln Smith made an odd, almost uncomfortable noise as Nadia looked over. Watching him struggle to grasp the fact that a woman didn't care about her parts being seen. So she sighed, "Look I'm sorry for stripping in front of you, okay? The baby blew out her diaper and I was covered in it. I'm sorry, I'm just not used to people caring."

He shook his head, "No don't please don't apologise. I'm just not used to... people."

Nadia, still shirtless, rested her elbow against her knee and stared at the boy, "When exactly was the last time you've seen a girl? A living girl? Not including your mother."

The boy with the swords paused, "Um..."

"That long?"

He shrugged, "I mean I wasn't alone the entire time. We lasted a good seven months in our basement."

The two went into a beat of silence as neither truly knew what to add to the conversation. So Nadia smacked her lips apart and dug into her backpack, pulling out a fresh fireman shirt and throwing it on, "I think we should rest here tonight. Get some rest and continue our journey. Terminus is pretty ways away still. Did you get the car open?"

He nodded, "Yeah, and I found a car seat inside. Something a little more comfortable for Judy," Nadia stopped mid-pickup of the baby as she heard the nickname her brother had used thousands of times.

Pressing her eyes together she pushed the thoughts of Carl aside and picked up her mother's spawn, "Great. Means I don't have to hold her tonight."

And as she brought the baby towards the broken down Car, her future self couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if the two decided to keep on walking a little longer. Maybe things would've been different.

Oh well.

•••