December 25

It's Christmas today.

My last Christmas.

All my life,

I was told that I wasn't good enough.

That I was stupid,

Pathetic,

Idiotic,

And absolutely useless.

They were right.

I was always told,

That I needed to be more like my older brother.

That I needed to bring back perfect scores on my latest tests, like him.

That I needed to play basketball, like him.

That I needed to be good at practically everything, like him.

That I shouldn't do the one thing I'm actually good at.

The one thing I loved.

That I shouldn't pursue dance.

That it was a waste of my time.

If dance is a waste of my time,

And everything else I do a waste of my life,

Then I don't want to live.

I was born in my brother's shadow,

And today, I will die in it.

Jung Hoseok.

My heart breaks. It breaks for Hoseok.

Sure, they told me I was a monster when I was in jail,

But I was never cast in someone else's shadow.

In all my sixteen years of existence,

I was never stopped from doing the thing I loved to do.

On the contrary,

The person sitting next to me right now,

Has always only told me that I was beautiful, that my existence was worth it, that there was a great purpose for me in my life. That I shouldn't give up because it would be such a waste to lose someone so special.

He also told me to keep doing the one thing I had a passion for, drawing.

He kept flipping through my old paintings trying to convince me that I was an amazing artist. He told me to keep drawing.

My heart clenches.

Hoseok didn't have the chance to do the thing he had a passion for, whereas I don't do it even if I can.

That day,

For the first time in years,

I draw.

I draw Jeon Jungkook.

As I watched small tears escape his eyes when he looked at my drawing and as I leaned forward to wipe those tears away,

I knew.

I like him.

I like Jeon Jungkook.

"vote and comment  for this lovely author!" chu~

*claps* thank you Hoseok.