𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄  ━━━ 𝘽𝙮 𝙀𝙡𝙫𝙞𝙨 𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙮

⩩┃ ❝I've rejected affection for years and years. Now I have it and dammit it's kind of wired..He tells me i'm pretty, don't know how to respond. I tell him that he's pretty too can I say that don't have a clue...❞┃⩩

𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄  ━━━ 𝘽𝙮 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙮 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙋𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙨

⩩┃ ❝Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you...Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you..?❞┃⩩

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓━━━ 𝘽𝙮 𝙇𝙖𝙪𝙛𝙚𝙮

⩩┃ ❝That when I talk to you, oh cupid walks right through and shoots an arrow through my heart..and I sound like a loon, but don't you feel it too..? Confessed I love you from the start..❞┃⩩

𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍  ━━━ 𝘽𝙮 𝙇𝙖𝙪𝙛𝙚𝙮

⩩┃ ❝One day, I will stop falling in love with you...someday someone will like me like I like you...Until then, I'll drink coffee, eat my pie, pretend that we are more than friends. Then, of course, i'll let you break my heart again.. ❞┃⩩

𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄  ━━━ 𝘽𝙮 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙮 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙨𝙤𝙣 ; 𝘾𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝘽𝙮 𝙇𝙖𝙪𝙛𝙚𝙮

⩩┃ ❝My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be. So, with my best, my very best, I set you free..!~❞┃⩩

・・・

❝I..really liked him..alot, but he..decided..after, that I wasn't for him..haha..❞

↙━━━ 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐌𝐄 . . . ┃

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. Such an interesting word to describe how someone feels, their heart always seem to reach out for the person they deemed so important to them that it hurts to see them go, they want to be near them, with them, be their joy and be apart of their laughter. 

Love, it's a feeling that pulls persons to one another in a way neither of them understand until they are able to cultivate that word together, then, with excited heartbeats and adrenaline coursing through them, the courage they were able to have to even say these words right now meant everything to them and the hope that that person would say yes is always there pushing them along.

"I love you..!"

Those three words shouldn't be taken lightly, yes? The words mean so much more than just that I presume..? 

....

...Right? 

Hello, pheli here, so sorry to say but I don't think I will be making the special chapter for this...it kinda hurts going back here to describe how I felt about this person who I adored then, even though it's been like two to three  years...I don't want to go back to figure out what we were to what we've become. Plus I don't have the motivation to write right now as of late.

However, I can make it somewhat  short for you.

 I have never fallen in love with someone, never, the only type of love I've given was either friendship or a sisterly, so in my preteen years I was very oblivious when it comes to that subject. Unless you tell me you like me then I wouldn't know, haha~  The only people who felt any type of attraction to me were childhood friends of three and two students that came for a time and left the school, four confessed while the last one didn't and I declined them all, well because I didn't see them that way.

 Until high school I believe (I am going by the American way of school rankings, ours is labeled differently), I graduated and accepted my medal which was exciting by the way, got my certificate for passing subjects that I worked hard for and then I was sent to learn more subjects in the school that operated right next to us.

There is where this chaos unfolds, I remember staying there for a few days being slightly intimidated by the bigger students that were older than our class, but eventually we've simmered down into friends and classmates. For the time being I wasn't interested in anyone, I loved talking with the two girls that were there, one was like a mother to the class while the other was like a big sister to me..atleast, and the boys that enjoyed being rambunctious and loud but very entertaining. 

Anyway, as time passed there was one boy I took a liking to, he was sweet, funny, smart in subjects he found fun and interesting, a flirt and extremely close to the hoe we have in the school. He was charming and so I liked him for it. Plus, he was a year and a few months older than me so I said it was fine.

Timeskiping to a year passing and a couple months, covid was a damn liar, and a thief but I digress, we were back in school and one of my girls around my age who... I was close to, told me that he knew that I liked him. Which made me confused, scared and excited at the same time, eventually I told him how I felt and he told me he liked me as well a few months after.

Now, we didn't have a label on to what our relationship was, but we both knew we liked each other and that was it. We both sent messages, checked on each other when we got the chance and made sure we both knew what was going on mentally with one another.

Then it went..a bit downhill, you see sometimes this boy had a bad time communicating, he was almost terrible at it so most of the time I've been with him physically or online I have no clue of what he's thinking, his moods shifts constantly and I then I have to decipher what's going on with him having the mind set that its mostly my fault. I have my fair share in bad communication as well but I can't say for sure if it was as bad as his.

 Either way he told me after a good while that I should forget about him which I didn't, I gave him my heart, he took it, cared for it then left it in the cold to whither.

 I remember thinking if all the "I love you's" were actually there, because it didn't take him long to say those words, "I love you." I meant mine, as little and innocent my heart was to say those words I meant it because he was and still is the first boy I've ever shown any attraction too that wasn't fictional.

Plus, I always asked him to at least wait for me since my mother was overprotective about me going out with most of the children at school so meeting up was next to impossible. 

 After a while, I don't remember if it was me who reached out to him or the other way around but we ended up talking again.

 Here this time, he informed me he had a girlfriend so as surprised as I was immediately I stopped myself from trying to pursue him, I believe he was...disappointed(?) that I didn't chase after him but I didn't see the need to since the boy was taken...Of course I was jealous when he spoke about her but what could I do? I was just supportive with his relationship and happy he was even talking to me to begin with.

Now, with the schools older children gone, graduated, hindsight, we stopped talking for a bit until he reached out to me to have a conversation, so I popped online and waited, it was awkward but we still talked and everything seemed lighter, his relationship didn't end well and I was bummed to hear that, from my point of view he seemed very happy talking about her but apparently something happened and then they weren't together.

We chatted for a while, I enjoyed all our conversations and there was the choice I made for the few I think months we were talking to give him another chance to hold the heart that was left in the cold and care for it. 

Lets just say, he did, then his communication problem arises and now we haven't spoken in a good while again. I've been trying to reach out and nothing seemed to wake him up from the mood he was in so I stopped. The year slowly drags on, its November, I think, exams are literally around the corner and this was the second time I've cried over this boy during whatever this relationship was, haha~ My friend was the one to tell me that he got back with his ex...

Yeah, I, uhh, felt terrible, I knew that something was up, I kinda felt off since he's been keeping distance to not talking for a while and now I get to hear this from my best friend instead of that person. I had a good cry, she comforted me and I thanked her for telling me.

This may not seem as much, but I've tried, I wanted it to work out with him and this was the result of that. Not sure if I was being dumb or immature about it but again he was the first person a had strong feelings for so I thought I would give him what I can to ensure him that I really liked him.

Haaah, okay, thank you for coming to my Ted talk!! 

I enjoyed writing this book, it was fun describing other love stories that are a part of my characters lives, the main and the side. 

Thank you once again for reading, It's always a pleasure to see people view these little things I make <3