After the last encounter with mustafa , i was thinking about whether i should see him or not . After i told fahriye , she insisted on me to go and see him and part of me wanted to .

As much as i tried to stop myself , i couldn't get to do so . I had to see him even if it's for the last time because neither of us knew when we were going to leave , me for my country and him for his province .

I got changed quickly with the help of fahriye and then left to see him , we didn't specify the place so i figured out i should wait for him outside his room .

« What do you mean by this you fool ? his highness knows i'm seeing him tonight so open this door » I heard Ayse scream at the guards infront of mustafa's room .

This woman was always at fault and yelling at everyone . The guards bowed down at me when they saw me and totally ignored Ayse .

« Your highness , Sehzade mustafa is waiting for you » The guard motioned for me to enter the room but i couldn't miss ayse's looks .

She gave me a very dangerous look as if she would've jumped me if people were not watching .

« You don't want to get out of our lives ? you have destroyed everyone » she said with a lot of spite i felt like her veins would pop out .

« Go take care of your child ayse » i said one last time before going inside mustafa's room , at first i didn't see him but then saw him sat infront of the window holding a paper in his hand .

« Your highness » he looked around when i spoke and stood up while simultaneously putting the paper on the table .

« I didn't excpect you to come after all , you looked quite determined » He said while approaching me hands out behind his back .

« Well , the birds told me to come » i teased and waited for him to offer me a seat which he did , i sat on the couch that was facing his door .

« Ever seen a prince , locked in his room ? i feel like a grounded kid » he joked as he sat down on the other side of the couch , i laughed at his words reminiscing about how i also got punished and ordered to stay in my room for days .

« You just have to prove others wrong and you'll get out of this hell , you men are lucky but us women .. it's quite difficult for us , you have a lot of things to do but us ? stay inside . We are used to staying inside that going out seems like the punishment » he laughed at my words and raised his eyebrows in surprise .

« Are you going to miss the palace here ? » he asked me neutralising the whole conversation, i was hesitant and i didn't know what to answer .

« I guess , i don't know » i said unsure of what i felt about staying here , i missed home a lot and i wouldn't trade it for anything and anywhere else .

« So , when you go do you think it's going to be fair ? » he looked at me in the eyes , i raised my eyebrow in confusion « Fair for me ? »

i didn't know what to answer , his use of words alone was enough for me to think about my life decisions again .

« I think yes » i answered remembering what his mother told me last time , she'd know better than me or whatever was between us .

« Don't think then , you have to know that what you're doing to me is not fair . You are discarding my feelings for you and throwing my heart into a pit of darkness » He reached for my hand trying to explain to me his feelings, he had a very expressive face which was hard to escape .

« You think i don't see it ? you think i am blind to not notice ? » I finally said making his face light up slightly « it's impossible for us to be together , i am not like you . We are just too different , we have different backgrounds and it's just complicated » he didn't wait for me to finish my explanation.

« Screw those differences , i don't care about them . Why can't we break the stereotypes ? why should we care in the first place » He was too insistent trying his best to convince me .

« Your status , you can't handle everything . i am going to burden you , you're going to upset your parents and it's going to damage your position and your title" I was doing my best to explain but he on the other hand was refusing to understand what i was saying .

"I know this , i am aware of that but you don't have to worry about that. just tell me if you want it or not and i will do everything in my hand and power to make it come true" he shifted next to me and reached for my hand .

"I promise to make you the happiest woman , just say yes and i'll do anything for you" i wanted to say yes , i wanted to run away with him and leave our titles behind us .

" Ever since we were young, i've never forgotten about you . it all came back to me now that we're grown up , i've never forgot about you , we just had to meet again to realise that i would choose you in every timeline" it was getting harder for me to take a step back and leave him in the middle of the road, i was tired of burrying my feelings inside me .

I was fed up with being ideal , of always respecting the rules and prioritising others over my own happiness . Maybe it was time for me to do what i want

" Yes , i want to . I want to be with you" i finally admitted and i could see a shift on his expression , relief ? or something much better .

"I knew it .. i knew that you felt the same way" he said almost thankful that i let out those words " I will talk to my father and i would marry you right away" he said grabbing now both of my hands .

" I am scared no one is going to accept it , marriage is not common here so i am not confident in it" I expressed my worry and he agreed with me .

" i know but i will change it , i would rather take the risk and enjoy my lifetime with you or not enjoy my lifetime without you" i could see that his love was genuine from his eyes , his words were just the surface .

" I will even talk to your brother , i would stand by his door for days if it meant you'll finally be with me" i was overwhelmed and his words just made me impatient and want to get up now and run away .

I looked at his eyes deeply refusing to break the eye contact we were holding , it was a mix of sadness and longing and admiration at the same time .

When suddenly the door opened and an agha came in unannounced, i quickly let go of his hands and distanced myself .

"Your highness , Mahidevran sultan wants to see you"i looked at him because i knew she was not going to like my presence here "let her in"

I thought he would wait for me to leave first but he didn't. , he instead called in his mother who was judging me from very far .

" Mustafa ? what is going on here" she stepped inside the room and the first thing she did was eye me up and down .

"I am talking to the princess" she stepped closer to him "i see that but it is innapopriate for you both to be in the same room"

I stood there feeling awkward while i wanted to leave as soon as i could. I started to walk away but mustafa stopped me by saying my name .

" I made it clear that you would leave her alone and move on , what does this mean ? where do you think you're going with this ?" she asked him as if she's grounding a thirteen year old.

" No , i won't" he defied his mother "I want her and i will marry her" i looked at him surprised by the amount of courage to say it out loud .

"Have you both lost your minds ? can you even realise how unrealistic and delusional you're sounding ? this is irresponsible" she started to raise her voice , angry and frustrated at the situation and mostly about the marriage part .

"You know me , whatever i have in mind will happen and this is my decision . Me and stella are going to get married" He said it clearly but his mother was just growing angrier at him .

" What nonsense is this ? i will not allow that and don't you dare say that to your father . We don't need enough trouble , we already got hurrem and rustem on our head" She looked like she was about to cry , and i understood her because it was her only son .

Maybe it was selfish , maybe it wasn't right in the eyes of everyone but we wanted it .

" Sultana , we will never do anything. without your consent and of course his majesty . Rest assured" i said trying to calm down the situation but she snapped at me " I have no words to exchange with you princess so please "

He looked at his mother angrily "Don't speak to her like that please" he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer so i could face his mother .

She rolled her eyes in annoyance and i was feeling more uncomfortable by her behaviour , i just wanted to leave at this point .

" You can't risk it , you're still young and many duties await you . Women come and go and you can have any of them why are you so focused on her ? what's the matter with you" she asked in disbelief , still not respecting her son's decision .

" Because i don't want anyone else , i want her only" he raised his voice making his mother fall silent "I don't want to lose her and don't try to speak to my father negatively about this , you will ruin my happiness" His mother stared at his with disappointment in her eyes and backed away .

"This is not the end of the conversation , i won't stop until i change your mind ." She said leaving us both inside , i stared at him with a mix of confusion and fear.

"I told you , it's not going to work . and even worse imagine what his majesty would say" he cupped my cheeks and looked at me .

"Just don't give up and leave me in the middle , i promise you this is going to work" I didn't have any other choice but to nod and not say anything negative that would just crush his hopes .