i had to sleep last night because i was tired , i had planned to send Alonso a letter but i just got to do it . i had to convince him to back away and not bring me any problems

" Princess , i can see that you're bothered . if he comes here it's going to cause problems" fahriye spoke as she was setting the paper and ink down .

"I have to stop him , i know the kind of person he is . his temper is the absolute worst and i can't risk him causing me harm here and to his majesty who put me under his protection" i had started to write my letter carefully trying to sound as reasonable and polite as possible.

I didn't know how many days it was going to take to get to him but at least he'd get to read it , i folded the letter and put my stamp on it using my ring . he definitely should get a grip and stop this delusional behaviour

"Send it in secret fahriye , i don't want this letter to be lost it should get to him" i put the letter on her hand and she glanced back at me .

" I will your highness , im going to be right back" she walked away with my letter and i sat on the couch thinking about random things , i had nothing to do and i have already finished reading all of my books .

I guess they had a library here , it's the palace so obviously there would be a library but i don't think it is located here where the women stay , i think they call it the harem . i called in a maid that guarded my door , they changed every time so i didn't know her name .

" Is there a library here ?" she looked up at me confused as if i grew two heads . " princess , women are not allowed there but i can ask for you" i was taken aback by what she said and looked at the floor .

" Well i will go , just show me the way and if someone tells me i'm not allowed i will leave" i stood up from my seat and she didn't look very convinced .

She nodded and put a scarf on her head so did i out of respect , she leaded the way and i followed her . i was now sure we were out of the harem because no girls were in sight

"Princess , we're here" she said as we arrived infront of a door , two men were standing at the entrance and they looked at us confused .

"Princess you can't be here let us escort you back" one of them said and extended his arm for me to show me the way but i didn't move .

i was disappointed and taken aback but before i could walk away i heard a voice .

"Let her inside" i looked at the source of the voice and i saw mustafa standing not very far from where i was , the guards immediately looked down and backed away .

"Your highness" i bowed down to him gracefully, he already had a smile on his face when he walked towards me .

" You wanted something from here ?" he asked as he pointed at the door and i nodded as if i did something bad .

" Yes but i heard it's not open for everyone , i was leaving" i stepped back to leave but he suddenly grabbed my hand but immediately took it off as he cleared his throat.

" I give you the permission to come here whenever you want , come in and show me what you want" he led the way as he opened the library's door , he was so graceful as if every move was well calculated .

I stand and look in awe at the sight , this library was so huge , the books were neatly placed on the shelves as if this place was enchanted .

" It's so nice here" i finally spoke as he was already browsing the first section , he let out a small smile.

" This is where i spent most of my time when i was a child , well before i left for Manisa" i nodded after each word as i touched a book .

" Books can understand you more than anyone else , they were my safe space. Sometimes i'd stay here the whole day and everyone would be searching for me" i laughed after his remark and he also laughed along .

"You're right , it's never wrong to read a book right ?" i added as i kept my eyes on him , there was something about him that was mesmerising and i didnt know what it was yet .

He grabbed a book and handed it to me " this one is my personal favourite, you're the first one i'd recommend it to" he put it between my hands and i looked at it .

"Can i trust your taste then ?" i teased as i went through the first pages without reading them .

" Well you could say so , i don't recommend bad books" i raised my eyebrows and held the book in my arms . " i guess i found what i was searching for"

"I am glad i could help , if you ever want to come here just do it . i will be gone soon but i'll give them orders to let you come here" i felt something shift in my heart .

"You're leaving ?" i said with an obvious sad tone and he put his hands behind his back as he walked towards me .

"Yes i am leaving ." he left that suspended in the air and i just couldn't find appropriate words to reply back.

"Oh , i thought maybe we would talk more but it's okay . i hope we can see each other one last time before i leave" i was honest , i really wanted to talk to him even more .

" Me neither , but my duties await for me in Manisa . I am not sure when i will leave but we should definitely catch on soon" i let out a sigh but didn't show my disappointment, i wasn't trying to be obvious .

" You're right , you're my only friend here" we started heading out to the door "it's pretty boring here"

"Would you want to go to manisa with me ?" he asked and i was caught off guard , i didnt even know it was possible .

"I- I don't know , i mean i would love to but sultan suleyman will not agree to this especially that i'm under his protection" mustafa opened the door so that we were outside .

"Are you saying i can't protect you ? i would never let something harm you" i just wished he didn't notice the blushing face i had .

"No it's not that , it's pretty complicated" i explained " if you want to i can talk to him he doesn't say no to me" i was getting a bit hopeful and was thinking about this genuinely .

" If you want we can go out a bit and by then i think you would've made your decision right ?" i agreed , i knew what was my answer . i wanted to go with him for some reason it felt less cruel to do so , because i sure couldn't stand staying here

I gave the girl that came with me the book and sent her off while me and mustafa started walking away , he was followed by a man that i barely remember

"Yahya it's fine you can leave" mustafa ordered the man and he stayed behind while we walked away .

"Is he always with you ?" i asked curiously and he nodded in response " yes he have been with me for years , i can trust him with everything"

We finally arrived outside , there were a lot of places to sit at but he went to a bench , a very basic one .

I sat down next to him making sure that we were distant a little bit .