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chapter five

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A few weeks passed since Yura's and Seokjin's break-up. He tried to call her many times, but she always declined, telling herself that it's not worth watering a dead flower.

She puts on a fake smile to hide her pain from her friends. The reason she does this is so they won't worry about her, however, the pain becomes unbearable, even hurting as she smiles at others falsely.

The lies over her lips, faking smiles and words, trying to convince everybody that she's perfectly fine. Whenever she smiled, something felt wrong in her chest, like a little crook over her mouth, coming from deep inside her soul.

The bond she had shared with him had been like a bridge out of her fortressed mind, it allowed her to set foot outside its protective compound and explore the sun-warmed grass on the other side.

Now he's gone and the bridge has been severed. Now, no matter how many people surrounded her, she feels alone.

"Yura!" Jimin yells out for her, a frown on his face. "Are you even listening?"

She slowly nods her head, sighing while focusing her gaze on him. Her roommate looks at her with an intense gaze, but Yura stays unfazed by it, her eyelids feeling heavy.

He asks slowly, "Are you okay?"

Another fake smile builds on her face, her lips allowing her teeth to shine through, but her eyes not twinkling like they usually do.

Jimin sighs softly. "I was saying that I'm throwing a party at our dorm tonight. Are you fine with that?" he questions cautiously, knowing that she hates parties and gatherings that include many people.

But she simply shrugs, her face unfazed, unamused. "Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats in a higher voice, not believing what she's saying. "You hate when I throw parties."

Her shoulders go higher and slump back down quickly, creating an expressionless shrug. "It's fine," she replies nonchalantly.

His eyebrows furrow, a deep frown building on his forehead, creasing it. "Do you want to call Hoseok over then as well?" Jimin suggests slowly, still believing that her damn of emotions is going to burst any second.

"Yeah," Yura resounds, nodding her head slowly. "Could you call him? I'll choose what I wear at that time."

Her roommates' frown increases, unbelievingly staring at her with stretched eyes. "What?" He shakes his head slowly, comprehending her words. "You're going to dress up as well?"

She shrugs again, emphasizing how she doesn't really care about what's happening in her surroundings. "Don't want to look like a trash bag now, do we?" she states before storming off to her room, leaving a perplexed Jimin behind.

He quickly takes his phone out and dials Yin's number. Before she could respond with a witty remark as she picks the phone up, Jimin cuts her off. "Code black."

Yin's eyes widen, swiftly hanging up and making her way to her best friends' dorm.

Just a few minutes later, an annoying knocking makes Jimin stand up.

He opens the door, but Yin completely ignores him, knocking him over as she runs into Yura's room.

"Why are you like this?" Jimin asks loudly while rubbing his pained butt.

Yin yells back, "Ask my parents!"

After opening Yura's door, she glances at every inch of her room, trying to find her best friend.

Yin's eyebrows furrow as her eyes land on Yura's back, who's looking out of her window.

"Yura?" she calls out quietly, careful not to scare her.

The dark-haired girl is sitting on her stool, her face expressionless. She nods her head as she hears her best friend's voice.

As Yin lays her hand on her shoulder, she shrieks away from her touch, causing her best-friend to furrow her brows in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Yura nods her head, standing up and making her way to her closet without another word.

Jimin silently enters his roommate's room, looking at Yin for an answer, who simply shakes her head with a slight pout on her pink-tinted lips.

"She's been acting like this ever since she came back from Jin's house," Jimin whispers to Yin, nearing his face to hers so that Yura won't hear them.

"I noticed that too." The girl nods her head, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Both of them sigh, not knowing how to lift her mood. "Let's just choose an outfit with her for now," Yin states, "Maybe the party will take her mind elsewhere."

Jimin nods his head in agreement, the duo making their way over to the closet.

Yura is standing in front of her big wardrobe, rummaging through all of her clothes, but none of them seem to fit for her.

"Need some help?" Yin mumbles while standing beside her. Jimin is leaning onto the wall as he gazes at the girls with crossed arms.

Yura sighs softly, nodding her head. She sits down on the floor while massaging her head to soothe the pain.

After a few minutes, a few pieces of clothing are thrown on her lap, causing her to look up at Yin, who smirks at her.

Yura stands up and looks at clothing that her best friend has picked up for her, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

Yin's eyes widen, her smirk faltering as she gazes at Jimin, who has almost the same expression on his face. "You like the outfit?" both of them exclaim in unison, slightly shocked.

The girl simply shrugs as she glances in between them, leaving the room to change into that outfit right after.

"I don't understand this," Yin sighs in devastation, her head collapsing on Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin sighs loudly. "Let's just hope that the party will go great for her. I hate seeing her like this."

Just a few seconds later, Yura walks in with the new outfit. Slightly baggy and ripped black jeans are adorning her legs as a tight black shirt is on top of that, throwing a leather jacket on as well. She picks up some black stilettos from her closet, putting them on right after.

A smile spreads on her friends' faces, satisfied with the way she looks. "You'll slay them all, sis," Yin remarks, proud of her own work.

"Damn, if you weren't my roommate, I'll make you wifey almost immediately," Jimin jokes, laughing along with Yin.

Yura chuckles lightly as well, a tiny spark of warmth building in her chest as she glances in between them, appreciating their words and actions more than they could ever imagine.

They head to the living room, everything ready for the party already. Jimin turns to Yura. "Could you maybe buy some more alcohol? I don't think that it's enough."

"I can buy some during the party," Yura informs him, nodding her head.

Jimin immediately shakes his head, a horrified expression on his face. "Since I saw that series where the boy went to buy beer and died, I can never let anyone go on a beer run during a party again."

Yura sighs, nodding her head nevertheless. She picks up the keys of their shared car while mumbling, "I'll be back in a few."

Stepping outside of her apartment, she makes her way outside and opens the door of the car, sitting down to start the engine.

She drives to a grocery store, parking the car before making her way inside. Quickly picking up boxes of all kinds of alcohol, she carries all of them to the cashier.

After buying the alcohol, she drives back home, already hearing the loud music as she arrives in front of her house.

Parking the car, she steps outside and makes her way back inside, struggling to carry all of the boxes in her two hands.

The music's so loud that it makes her skin tingle and her lungs feel like mush. The bass thumps in time with her heartbeat as though they were one, filling her from head to toe with music.

Over the roar of music, a distant, hazy chatter could be heard. She couldn't make out any words, but laughter rang in her ears and wouldn't seem to stop.

The song that is playing got louder, pulling her in and wouldn't let go. She has no choice but to join the crowd, carefully trying to carry the boxes of alcohol to the kitchen.

"Move!" she yells at some of them since the music is too loud, passing through the sweaty bodies with many exhales.

Successfully passing through the strangers without breaking anything, Yura sighs while placing the alcohol on the counter, already hating the party.

She pulls out a red cup, filling it up with strong alcohol, attempting to forget about the events of the past weeks.

As she's filling it up, she focuses on nothing other than that, her mind elsewhere. More likely, on somebody else.

Suddenly, her sight is blinded by two hands, causing her to startle. "Don't fucking touch me," she mutters, pushing the person away.

The person backs away with many groans, chuckling many times as he clutches his now paining chest.

Hearing the familiar sound, Yura turns around with a subtle smile on her face. She immediately wraps her arms around him, suffocating him in a hug.

"Someone missed me, huh?" he chuckles wholeheartedly, pulling her tighter while inhaling her scent.

Yura pulls away, nodding her head eagerly. "I really did, Hoseok."

"So, how have you been holding up?" he asks while fixing himself a drink.

Her mood sinks as soon as he begins his sentence, her shoulders slumping down after she shrugs.

She takes the drink she has done in her hand and wants to drink it, but Hoseok quickly puts it back down. "Someone probably put poison in it, don't be dumb," he remarks.

Yura nods her head, nibbling on her bottom lip. Making herself another hard drink, Hoseok is watching her every move with furrowed brows. "You don't like to drink."

A sigh escapes her mouth, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't," she replies quietly, sadness dripping from her voice.

Wrapping her long fingers around the red cup, she feels her heat leach into the drink. Alcohol; something she has never been fond of.

Nevertheless, the elixir to make her feel different emotions. Hell, to make her feel something.

She raises the cup to sip, feeling the keen burn on her tongue and throat; a burn that makes her recoil as a girl.

Yet now it's a feeling she has longed for a few weeks. By the time she inserted the key into her lock; the night they broke up.

Yura lowers the cup to the table, letting it fall heavily, but not so much that it spills.

The alcohol turns down the volume on her thoughts. It brings memories of good times past, and she lets herself dwell in them rather than think.

And at that moment, she's here and not, existing in two perfect moments. Somehow it steadies her, gives her the resolve to go on.

She kills many more cups until she feels her head spinning, gulping. Steadying herself on Hoseok, she senses the sudden dizziness, welling up a better feeling inside her body.

"Aye, Hoseok!"

The young man is pulled out of his own thoughts as he looks up to meet the eyes of a friend. A subtle smile paints his lips as he greets him back. "What's up, Taehyung?"

"And who's this?" Taehyung smirks as his eyes move over to Yura, who's eyeing him curiously. Even though she's not completely conscious, she can already make a picture of him. Simply by the way he's roaming his eyes over her entire physique.

Hoseok's smile tightens as he puts his arm around her waist protectively. "A very close friend is mine," he stresses, knowing how his male friend's behavior is.

Taehyung chuckles, deep and melodic. "Chill, man." He puts his hands up in surrender.

As he examines her again, his eyes widen slightly, mouth parted. "Wait, ain't this Jin's girl?"

Hearing his name stabbed her heart like someone has ripped through her carefully stitched up world and exposed the infected, pulsing red tissue that she thought was healing.

Yura's mouth gapes open, not knowing how to answer. She gulps harshly, looking down at the floor in embarrassment as a strange but familiar feeling builds up inside of her again.

Hoseok's jaw clenches at the insensibility of his friend. He throws Taehyung a look as Yura's gaze is focused on the floor. "What the fuck, man?" he mouthes.

"What?" Taehyung mouthes back, not understanding what all of this is about.

A long sigh escapes the girl, freeing herself from her friend's hold to spin around. She fixes herself another cup of alcohol, only to let it be slapped away by Hoseok.

"I think you've had enough," he states lowly, eyeing her strictly, causing Yura to groan.

"No!" she whines, slurring over her words. "Let me drink something!" Yura reaches her hand out for the cup again, just to get it slapped again, causing her to pout.

"You're evil." She hiccups, her head collapsing against his shoulder. A few giggles escape her, making Hoseok roll his eyes. "Great job, Jimin," he mutters under his breath.

"Let's get you into your room, baby," Hoseok mumbles, putting her arm around his shoulder.

She complains as he drags her away. "No!"

"Yes," he argues, opening the door, which leads to her room.

Before he could lock the door again, so that no one will do inappropriate things in her own room, a foot halts his actions.

Hoseok opens the door wider, a small frown on his forehead as he struggles to keep Yura in his arms.

Taehyung stands in the doorway with a sheepish look on his face, nibbling on his bottom lip. "Can we talk real quick?"

"With who?" the other young man asks in confusion, pointing between him and his female friend.

"Her." Taehyung points at the tipsy girl. "But you can stay here as well," he adds.

Slowly nodding his head in agreement, Hoseok carefully places Yura on her bed as Taehyung closes her door so that no one would disturb them.

Yura's tipsy self smiles like a little kid, embracing Hoseok in a tight hug, making him sigh.

Taehyung sits down on the bed opposite of them, fidgeting with his fingers. "I'm sorry for what I've said," he admits nervously, looking up to meet Yura's curious gaze.

"I didn't mean to sound rude or anything," he states while nodding his head.

The girl sighs, nodding her head. "It's just that—" she hiccups again, tears blurring her vision.

"I try so hard to get over this," she admits. "I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm telling myself I'll be okay."

If she weren't tipsy, she would've never said these words, admitting her fears and insecurities. Maybe to Hoseok one day, but not to a stranger who she only knows for like five minutes.

The boys are listening intently. Hoseok has a sad expression on his face while Taehyung tries to hide his sudden smirk, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime." Another sigh escapes her, shaking her low-hanging head. She suddenly feels sober again, the memories of him making her more conscious.

She looks up with her watering eyes, whispering, "Did I really want to stay on this road longer, knowing it was only going to end in devastation?"

Taehyung succeeds to hide his true self, putting a false layer of empathy on it. "I have an idea," he states after a while, gaining the attention of the other two people.

"What is it?" Hoseok asks, his forehead creased in confusion.

Taehyung grins from ear to ear, cheekily gazing at them. "I know this one website—" he starts, only to get cut off by Hoseok almost immediately.

"No," he declines, causing the other boy to pout. "Why not?" Taehyung asks.

"Taehyung, you're my friend and all." Hoseok shakes his head while talking. "But I don't trust your ass if it comes to things like this."

Taehyung's upper lip disappears, his pout deepening as he moves his eyes to a curious Yura. "You'll listen to me, right?"

Her eyes widen slightly, nodding her head nevertheless, making the boy smile widely. He pulls out his phone, opening a website as he shows it to the duo.

"So," he begins to explain, "You can meet other people here, chat with them, and do other things, you know?" He winks towards Yura, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Fuck, no!" Hoseok immediately disagrees, shaking his head excessively. "This is a damn hook-up page, you pervert!"

"So what?" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "She could use it as a distraction."

Hoseok keeps on shaking his head in denial, not trusting Taehyung at all.

"What's the name of the page?" Yura asks curiously, catching both of them off guard.

A smirk builds on Taehyung's face. "Do you have a laptop?" he asks her.

She nods her head, pulling out a laptop out of a shelf, sitting back down next to him.

"You're not serious, right?" Hoseok acknowledges. "You're not going to sign up on that page."

As soon as Taehyung senses the tension in between the duo, he excuses himself outside, saying that he has to call someone anyway.

"Why not?" Yura asks back in slight annoyance. "It's just a small thing, I'll never see him again anyway."

"Yura," Hoseok raises his voice slightly, not believing her words. "This is the alcohol speaking, not you! You're completely against things like this!"

"Even if it is the alcohol." She shrugs her shoulders. "My life is so plain and dull, I want to experience new things."

Hoseok shakes his head. "You're—"

But she cuts him off before he can continue arguing with her. "Hoseok, I understand and appreciate your concern," she states.

"But please," she begs quietly. "Let me just try this for now. I've been through so much shit lately, I'm tired of living."

"So, please, let me have a little fun in my life," she whispers, her eyes welling up with tears once again.

Hoseok's mouth parts, speechless and lost for words. He knew that she didn't feel well about the break-up, but he wasn't aware of how much damage was caused because of it.

Their relationship only lasted for some months, and Yura did even tell that both of them never said the L-Word. So why did it damage her so much? Hoseok didn't quite understand.

Nevertheless, he nods his head while sighing softly. "You do you, Yura," he speaks softly. "Just be careful."

"I will." She smiles faintly. "Thank you."

He simply nods his head, Taehyung entering the room again. "Are we doing this now?" he asks around, sitting back down next to the girl, who nods her head.

"Great." Taehyung smirks, opening the laptop. "Let's do this now. I swear it's fun."

Yura and Hoseok are watching him from his shoulders, intensely and curiously watching his every move.

Hoseok lets out a laugh. "The website's name is 'FindYourBangtanBoy.com'?" he points at it. "Which dumbasses came up with that name?"

Taehyung chuckles himself, shaking his head since he doesn't know himself. "The name sucks, but trust me, the guys there don't."

He clicks a few buttons, landing on another window of the site. "Let's create your own account now, Yura."

After they're done with giving her information to the website, they scroll through the website to find the perfect match.

"Maybe someone will match up with you himself," Hoseok mumbles while shrugging his shoulders.

Suddenly, Hoseok's eyes widen as he looks back at Yura. "We're dead if Yoongi knows about this. Dead meat."

Yura's eyes widen as well, locking them with Hoseok's ones. "This is our secret," she whispers to him. "He said to not start something with Jin, and I did. If he knows about this, I'm dead."

"I won't tell if you won't." Hoseok shrugs his shoulders. Yura agrees, nodding her head as they fist-bump each other.

"Someone matched up with you!" Taehyung suddenly yells in excitement, gaining their attention.

The trio near themselves to the screen, their heads pressed against each other.

"What's his name?" Hoseok asks in confusion, his eyes squinted.

Yura whispers, "Jeon Jeongguk."