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chapter four

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A few knocks on Seokjin's door make him stand up, clearing his throat while fixing the collar of his shirt.

As he opens the door, a smirking Yura is seen at the other side of the doorway, bobbing her head to the side in an innocent manner. "Jinnie," she breathes, causing her boyfriend to gulp.

She takes slow steps towards him, a grin still playing on her lips as she closes the door, leaning onto it while staring at Seokjin.

She appears in his house with a tight dress, the dark shade of red gaining his attention. Most people pay attention to her beauty, but now it's rather her sensual expression.

With black hair and her head held high, she waltzes on with an effortless saunter. The clicking of her heels adds rhythm to the soft classical music that plays onward without pause.

Her eyes scan his physique with determination and in search of something specific. When her eyes meet him, her smirk enlarges.

So beautiful, it's like the stars themselves decide to rest behind the soft cushion of her lips.

She slowly slithers her hands around his neck, tilting her head while gazing at him with an intense expression.

Yura can feel the sadness in her chest as she looks at him, waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect her but there really isn't any danger. It sits there like an angry ball, propelling her towards an anxiety she just doesn't need.

Both of them simply stare at each other in silence, their thoughts quite different. She moves her head closer to his. He stands frozen, from both guilt feelings and lust.

Slowly nearing him, her forehead rests against his. They close their eyes. Both their breaths shaking.

She leans in and kisses him, and her world falls apart. Her hand rests below his ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingle.

Running her fingers down his spine, she pulls him closer until there's no space left between them, feeling the beating of his heart against her chest.

Slowly pulling away to rest her forehead against his, her face is hard, but her eyes filled with hollowness or even sadness. "I hate you," she says in barely more than a whisper, closing her eyes as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

Seokjin is taken aback, pulling away slightly as he gazes at her with furrowed brows, his forehead creased in confusion. "Wha—"

Suddenly, she pushes him away in a harsh way, her eyes brimming with tears, a scowl on her beautiful face. "I really hate you!"

Her sadness mixes with anger and irritation, taking over her body faster than water flows down a cascade.

"How could you do this to me?" She yells at him, pointing at herself.

Her words fall out of her mouth like vapor but land in his guts as shrapnel. He feels his insides tear, and the blood drain from his face.

She would sneer, but she's deadly serious. Her eyes are cold like he has never seen, and her features immobile. He looks like someone about to vomit as he scans her beautiful face.

Yura looks at him like a stranger, yet worse. Instead of the loving soul she adored for so long, she sees an enemy. It's as if all that love becomes pain, pain becomes fear and the fear sows hatred, strong enough to break them.

"Yura, I didn't mean to." Seokjin keeps his eyes steady, resting on her face like they're his home, but just briefly, the sorrow and guilt feelings already building. More likely, getting worse.

The black-haired girl stays rooted to the spot, the breeze moving her hair softly away from the cheekbones that have become so much more prominent over the previous weeks.

Her features buckle just slightly before she speaks, the only betrayal of her grief. "You say that like it means anything. There was a time that I really thought you meant it serious, to show me what real love is like, remember? Yet you gave me up as soon as you saw a beautiful woman to have for yourself."

"You broke me, then attacked the pieces, so full of rage that I couldn't function after what you did. There isn't a woman alive that wants a man who would betray her." She shakes her head slowly, a few tears flowing down her cheeks, but her clenched fists hold her back from sobbing.

His face is paler than she has ever recalled it is as if his very blood is shrinking away from her presence, his lips almost ghostly.

Jin breaks her intense gaze, unable to look at her hated and tear-filled face, preferring instead to rest his chocolate eyes on the door behind.

Then he turns back to her, face set like an adversary, eyes watery, muscles tense. She breaks a little more inside, the pieces becoming shards.

"The man you were, the one I began a relationship with, would have kicked your ass all over this God damn room for treating me like that. You were someone. You were that guy, the one who had the heart and the genuineness behind it." She spits in his face, clenching her jaw, exhaling short yet low breaths.

"I will never forgive you for what you did." Her anger seems to disappear slowly, sorrow building as she gazes at him. "You knew how he treated me, knew how broken I was, and you still have the heart to let me go through the same thing again?"

"I thought that you were different." She stands up taller, wiping her tears away. "But you're just the same. Or even worse, because you showed me love, but still cheated on me."

His eyes are burning, and his chest feels heavy as if it's filled with lead. He could no longer see clearly. All he knows is that she's gone, out of his life for possibly forever.

"I took a chance, I took a shot, even though I wasn't ready for a new relationship. And you may think I'm bullet-proof, but I'm not. You took a swing, I took it hard. And down here from the ground, I see who you really are."

She admits before spinning around, her dark hair in motion as she puts her hand on the doorknob, a few tears escaping her as she looks down at it, knowing that this is the end of their relationship, their goodbye.

"I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid," she promises, opening the door decisively.

Before she could walk out, he swiftly takes hold on her hand, stopping her from leaving. "Please don't turn the sunny dawn that you created back into a dark night that was once me," he whispers, many tears rolling down his cheeks, sniffling a few times.

Quickly jerking away from his touch, she whispers without looking into his eyes, "You're the one who turned both of us into a dark, cold night. You may find a sunny dawn once again, but that's just not me."

Are her last words before she rushes outside, finally releasing the waterfall as the tears flow down her face, letting out many sobs, but covering her mouth to not be noisy.

In this heartache, the sun won't shine, birdsong passes as if the melody can't glide through the air as it once did before.

But the truth is, she'd rather leave and get her heart broken than keep a lover who doesn't love.

So instead, she will let this heartache be as her teacher and the reason to keep seeking one who can hear the playful calling of their own soul. Maybe she'll find her peace.

She'd rather have this relationship broken than herself, either it turns to ashes or she does, because she'd have to have no self-respect at all to stay with one who can't see how wonderful she is.

Waving at an incoming taxi, she sits down as it stops right next to her. After telling the driver where she lives, he starts to drive her home.

She fails to hide her emotional side, stuffing her mouth with her hand to cover her sobs. Slumping down in her seat, she releases the tears all over again.

The taxi driver looks at her through the rearview mirror, his lips turning downwards.

"When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us," he quotes, causing Yura to look up at him.

He smiles encouragingly, dimples poking into his flawless, slightly tanned skin. Before she could say anything, he stops the car in front of her house.

Yura pulls some money out and hands it to him, but he shakes his head while keeping that beautiful smile on his face.

"It's for free." He nods his head. "Just like how living happily is for free, you only need to have enough bravery and courage to do so."

The dark-haired girl nods her head slowly, appreciative of his soft and encouraging words. "Thank you," she speaks in a quiet tone, her throat hurting from all the crying.

After stepping foot outside, he drives away into the darkness. The car becoming a small dot the more he distances himself.

With slow steps Yura heads back home, wiping her stream of tears away, trying to compose herself.

The door immediately slams open as she stands right in front of it, not needing to ring the bell.

Two arms pull her inside, startling her. "How did it go?" Jimin and Yin ask in unison, looking at her with big, excited eyes while bouncing up and down.

She simply nods her head, looking down at the floor. Jimin and Yin glance upward, their mouths pursed but slightly open and loose. Their eyes are fixed as if they're trying to look through Yura's skull

"Was it hard?" Yin begins carefully, nibbling on her bottom lip, scared that her best friend will cry again.

Jimin finishes, "Letting go?"

Yura stands on the floor, words bouncing off her like rain from concrete. Every muscle in her is slouched, no doubt even her heart is beating slowly.

She sets her eyes dead ahead onto her best friends, mesmerized and appreciative over the carefulness and loving nature which they bring along anytime they see her in pain.

There's no chore she's willing to do, no reason to shift into second gear. So there she stood, completely immobile. Nevertheless, she answers their question.

"Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real."

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(A/N)

i listened to ending scene by iu and cried while writing this bye

and btw some quotes aren't mine, I just think that they're really beautiful and helped me a lot through life