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chapter two

━━ ✦ ━━

"Don't run away, baby," he chuckles wholeheartedly, grabbing my waist before I can rush away.

After failing to free myself from his hold, I sigh softly, causing a chuckle to leave his full, pouty lips.

He grabs my legs and waist, carrying me to the couch with a beautiful smile, which is adorning his perfectly sculpted face.

Sitting down on the sofa, he quickly pulls me in between his legs before I can escape again. My back is against his front as he wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry," he whispers into my hair.

"Nope," I reply, crossing my arms over my chest while jerking my head away from him.

He chuckles again, a melodic sound to listen to. Knowing my weaknesses, he starts to breathe into my ear, "Yura."

Getting slight tingles, I compose myself after my body sinks into his touch. "I'm sorry that I ignored your calls," he whispers, "I was occupied with work."

Sighing loudly, I nod my head. "It's okay," I spin towards him, smiling sadly.

Caressing my cheek softly, he gazes into my eyes with a sad expression, a deepness behind it. "What's wrong?" I ask him, tilting my head to the side.

Seokjin's lips curve up in a saddened smile, leaning his head down to connect our foreheads, sighing softly.

"You won't ever leave me, right?" He asks me back, his hot breath tickling my skin. Locking his eyes with mine, my eyebrows furrow slightly, perplexed but a tad bit scared as well.

"Of course not, dumbass." I smile lightly after calming myself down.

He's not like him. He's different. I tell myself over and over again.

A soft smile builds on his face, painting a rainbow above his head. Jin starts to lay down, dragging me down with him as he embraces me in a tight hug, my head resting on his strong chest.

Starting to play with my hair, he seems to be deep in thought, a silence overcoming the room, the only sound that can be heard is his beating heart.

"Are you okay, my prince?" I chuckle lightly while looking up at him, calling him by his favorite nickname, which I created for him. Since he plays as a prince in his own drama, I started to call him like that.

Glancing down at me, he quickly averts his gaze and sighs loudly, nodding his head slowly. "I'm fine."

My forehead creases as he finishes his sentence, seeing right through that lie. "You know I can tell if you lie to me." I poke his chest, trying to lighten his mood.

But I get no response, saddening me to see him in such a bad state. "You haven't been feeling good since you started to play in that drama," I admit while looking at him.

"Do they treat you bad?" My eyes widen slightly, light irritation already building in my system. "You know that I could always have a nice talk with them—" I state sarcastically, meaning something completely different with a nice talk.

He quickly cuts me off as he shakes his head, causing my confusion to deepen. "Talk to me, baby~" I sing-song, desperately trying to make him feel better.

A light chuckle escapes him, causing me to smile in an instant. "What is it that makes you feel this way?" I ask him quietly, stroking his chest with my pointer finger.

Seokjin nibbles on his bottom lip nervously. "I'm scared to lose you," he admits, his voice almost below a whisper.

Confusion is written all over my face as I gaze back up at him, his chocolate eyes already trained on mine. His eyes shine like new growth on the boughs of the trees, free of moss, bright, youthful. His gaze is cool water on flames, soft rain on petals, the sky lightening after a storm.

After all these months that we've been together, I seem to always get lost in his mesmerizing eyes. The different hues, the soft crinkles that build in the corners when he smiles wholeheartedly.

But the usual joy and happiness haven't shown themselves for a few weeks now. It's like the light is disappearing more and more from his eyes, making it harder for me to read them in the dark shadow.

"Why do you think that you'd lose me?" I ask him quietly, my eyes pried open.

He keeps on stroking my hair, his pouty lips curling downwards, finally locking his astonishing eyes with mine.

Dodging my question, he asks me, "Do you think that I'm a bad person?"

My smile falters the more he speaks, eyebrows furrowing even more. "What is it? You never ask me things like that."

"After what happened the last time with your ex-boyfriend—" he starts, causing my eyes to sadden immediately.

"Don't talk about him," I mumble, shaking my head slowly.

Jin sighs softly, caressing my cheek. "I'm just scared that you'll leave me like you did with him."

Taking that as a full offense, I distance myself from him and sit up, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. "He treated me like literally shit," I raise my voice. "I had many good reasons to leave him."

He sits up as well. "I know," he mumbles, nodding his head. "I just don't want you to leave me."

My stiffened body softens as I look at him and his saddened state, wrapping my arms around him.

"I won't leave you."

━━ ✦ ━━

"I left him."

"What?" I ask with widened eyes while looking at my best friend. "What did he do?"

"Well," she begins, sitting with her legs crossed. "He thought it was funny to talk shit about homosexuality and rights for women."

"Then?" I motion for her to continue.

"I left him," she states while shrugging her shoulders as if it's nothing serious.

Laughing lightly, I shake my head at her nonchalant attitude. "You're something different, Yin."

"We were just getting to know each other anyway." She shrugs her shoulders again. "He even cracks 'jokes' about my gay fellas, even though he knows that I'm bisexual."

"Trash," she sighs dramatically.

Nodding my head, I laugh a little, but it soon falters as I gaze down at my phone. "What is it?" Yin asks worriedly, slight curiosity dripping from her voice.

With furrowed eyebrows, I reply, "Jin canceled our date. Again."

Yin scoffs while rolling her eyes. "You need to take that trash out as well."

Gasping slightly, I look up at her with widened eyes. "He's not trash! He's just busy with his new drama."

"I think he's more busy with someone in his new drama," she mutters aside, causing me to not understand what she just said.

"Huh?" I ask idiotically.

She simply waves a reassuring hand while mumbling, "Nothing."

Nibbling on my bottom lip, I try to call him again, but he doesn't answer. "As always," I mumble to myself.

"Honestly, what are you even doing with him at this point?" She asks, slightly irritated. "He never has time for you, he won't answer your texts, nor calls—" she starts to count with her fingers.

My lips curl downwards, shaking my head softly. "It's just that—" I try to form a proper sentence while lightly throwing my arms in the air.

"Do you love him?" She suddenly asks me, catching me off guard.

My eyes widen while gazing at her. "I understand that you never really understood how love feels like, because of certain people." She gets angrier while finishing her sentence. "But do you feel loved beside him?"

"Loving someone and being loved is something different, though." I sigh softly, looking down at the bed we're sitting at in devastation. A few moments later, I simply shrug, not knowing what to answer.

"Look, Yura." Yin grabs my shoulders, gaining my undivided attention. "You know that I don't really trust his shady ass," she states while shaking her head.

"I know," I mumble, glancing down again.

"I mean, you know, I'm always available—"

A chuckle escapes me while locking my eyes with her dark ones. "There's the laugh that I love!" She exclaims, pulling me in for a tight hug.

"I respect if you stay with him," she declares, "I can't decide what you have to do or anything, but please, take care."

"I will," I promise while nodding my head.

"Good girl," she smiles, her eyes crinkling at the ends.

After watching a movie, Yin heads to work, leaving me completely alone.

Desperately trying to find something to do, I decide to visit Jin on his set.

I change my shabby, comfortable clothes into clean ones and head outside.

Since I have never visited him on his set before, I decided to buy some flowers as a small gift.

I smile widely while holding the newly bought lilies, his favorite flowers. The air is perfumed by the heavy scent of them.

Their white petals are striking against the colorful paper that's holding them together, simply beautiful.

After taking a cab, I arrive at the big building where his drama is being played at. I tell the security guards who I am, and they let me in, throwing around a few panicked and worried gazes, which leave me slightly confused.

"Hello, could you please tell me where Kim Seokjin is?" I smile towards an employee.

"Who would like to know?" She asks me back, making sure that I'm not a crazy fan.

"I'm Lee Yura." I nod my head lightly, a slight smile still adorning my face. "His girlfriend."

Her eyes widen slightly, a pitiful expression building on her face. "He's in his own room." She points at the end of the floor.

"Thank you so much," I exclaim in joy, already making my way over there, my dark hair swaying in motion while the lilies are securely held in my hands.

Standing in front of his room, I read the name 'Kim Seokjin' written on the door.

Hearing a few faint giggles from the other side of the door, I halt my hand from knocking on the door.

Gulping harshly, I try to stay as positive as possible while silently opening the door, careful to stay unnoticed by the people who are in his room.

Peeking inside, my eyes sadden while staring at the scenario that's being held right in front of me.

He doesn't notice me as he's dangerously close with his female lead from the drama. He's caressing her cheek, just like he did to me on this very day.

She's sinking into his touch, a smile on her beautiful face. A giggle escapes her as he's leaning down to kiss her neck area.

Eyes watering, I can't continue looking at the scene that's playing in front of me, so I quietly close the door again. Leaning my body against it, I let a few silent tears roll down my cheeks.

Many tears follow right after, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flow its way down my cheeks, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been held inside of me for all this time, but still, I do not make a sound.

Having the worst luck with love is something you get used to after trying but failing miserably.

He knew that. He knew my pain, sorrow, all of my insecurities, and he still treated me the same way.

I wipe my tears away while silently walking out of the building, a few people gazing at me in pity and sadness.

Standing in front of the big building, I gaze up at it with a sad smile, many tears still falling down, my dam for emotions completely wrecked.

Glancing down, I notice the salty tears landing on the flowers, their prettiness fading, their hues not as beautiful as I thought they were.

On closer inspection, I can see that their stamens have been removed, just like he did to me.

Reaching out a hand to the delicate snowy petals, I know that this will be the last time I would enjoy this flower, after today, it will forever remind me of the day I had to say goodbye.

Its scent will forever be sickly, repugnant.