- CHAPTER FOURTEEN

- TWO WEEKS HAD PASSED since the sleepover, since she had read that file. She had put it back on the table in Tony's lab, it was all there in her brain anyway. How could she not memorize something like that?

She was getting ready for school, where she would have to face the worried glances and hushed whispering of her best friend and boyfriend, who were concerned as she had gone several days without speaking. She couldn't find the words to speak, or the will. How could she when everything she had always known had been a complete and utter lie?

She was supposed to be going to the mall with Logan and Natasha after school as well, homecoming was coming up and they hadn't gone dress shopping yet. Logan would be going solo, she wasn't concerned about a new dress but she insisted on helping Katherine find one.

The teen didn't feel like doing either today, and wanted to just crawl back into her bed and sleep..or go down to the training room and cry. She had never played hookie before, but she figured one time wouldn't hurt, besides, they were all worried about her anyway.

She slipped back into her pajamas and made her hair look as messy as possible, she even punched her cheeks until they were red before putting a miserable expression on her face and shuffling out of her room.

Except for Bucky's, all of the bedroom doors were wide open and none of the adults were in them. Today was cleaning day, and she figured that all of them needed it done. She also figured that everyone would be in the kitchen, which would make her plan harder.

The common area was oddly quiet as she passed through it though, and the kitchen was even quieter, she could only hear one person shuffling around. She thanked the lord that it was Steve, he would be easier to lie to than Natasha, Clint or Tony..not that Clint was really talking to her anymore. He was still mad at her, and she him, but he could at least be a little less childish and speak actual words to her.

"Steve.." She said, her voice sounded a little raspy, if she was being honest, her throat hurt and had been for a few days..she just figured she was tired and crying too much, or not talking enough.

The man startled, and spilled coffee down the front of his shirt as he turned around. "Katherine, shouldn't you be getting off to school?" He asks, trying to find a towel. He had barely glanced at her when he spoke, but after a moment of silence he looked up at her. He thought she looked horribly pale, and tired looking and was instantly concerned. "Hey," He says, striding around the kitchen island to place a hand on her forehead. "Jesus, you're burning up!" He says, pulling his hand away. "Do you feel okay?"

Katherine doesn't say anything, and she wasn't sure what came over her, but she suddenly buried her face in his torso, wrapping her arms around his waist. There were tired tears in her eyes, and she tried not to let them fall, she wanted to be strong, to prove she wasn't the child they all thought.

Steve made a shocked noise, wrapping his large arms awkwardly around her small, frail body. He could feel heat radiating off of her whole body now that she was that close and he made a dad call. "You're not going to school today," He says, brushing his hand down her long, messy hair. He stayed like that for a solid minuet, before she let out a horrible cough that sounded oddly like a sob. "Come on, you should be in bed."

Katherine lets go of the man, hiding a sniffle as she wipes her now running nose with the sleeve of her pajama shirt. She shuffled after him, her head down as they made their way through the common room and back down the hallway of bedrooms. He was walking with his beefy arm around her shoulder, grimacing from the heat of her obvious fever.

Just as they reached her bedroom, the door across from hers opened. Bucky only saw Katherine, noting the way she looked like she was crying. His heart sunk to his stomach and his metal fist clenched. "What's wrong?" He asks, glaring at Steve as if he had done something wrong to her as he followed the two into her room.

"She's sick." Steve says, leading her towards her bed, where he tucks her in after she curls onto her side. "I'm going to go get Tony."

"No," She tried to say, but he was already out the door. She flops her head back with a groan, pulling the blankets back over her.

Bucky felt her forehead as well, although he had never in his life been sure of how that worked, he now knew. "You feel like you're on fire!" He says, taking his hand back quickly.

"What a great observation!" She grumbles sarcastically, which she never generally was with him. At least not in the mean way she was now. "Do you want a gold star?"

Bucky chuckles. He knew she'd been off for a while, he'd been watching her for weeks, and knew that she had been more tired recently but he figured it was just because of girl problems, like Natasha had told them all would happen. "No, but a new attitude would be nice." He says, although he was only joking. He sat down next to her in the bed, figuring he would keep her company for a while.

After a few minuets, he heard footsteps thundering down the hall, and Tony came barreling into the room with Steve and Sam hot on his heels. "Katherine?" He has become oddly attached to the girl, like he had Peter Parker, and began thinking of her as an actual daughter. This only put him in panic mode. "Katherine, what's wrong?"

The girl didn't respond, rolling over to face the window instead. This put her face to face with Bucky's thigh though, which tempted her to turn back around but she decided not to as Tony's cold hand found its way to her forehead.

She couldn't look at him, not after what she knew now..what he knew..what they all knew.

"FRIDAY?" He asks the AI system. "Temperature check?"

"One hundred and five, sir." The AI answers loudly, causing the girl to groan. "Full body scan suggests anxiety or stress caused fever and sickness. Rest is recommended."

"Someone call the school." Tony sighs, he wondered what was causing her anxiety and stress, maybe something at school..or this boyfriend. He knew she had been ignoring all of them lately but he figured it was just normal teenage shit, nothing serious. "Katherine, you get some sleep, okay? You need it, I'll have someone bring you something for the fever, okay?"

She was already almost asleep again by that point, and curled into Bucky's thigh. She found his presence oddly comforting and relaxed easily as his hand began brushing her hair back.

"I'll go find some aspirin." Sam sAys, going for his bathroom. Steve followed, muttering something about calling her school.

"Go to sleep." Bucky says, looking down at her. His voice and touch were gentle, something he rarely thought he was capable of lately.

"Please don't leave.." She whispers, not wanting to be left alone while she didn't feel good. It made her vulnerable and weak, something she didn't like. He made her feel safe and protected, which made it easier to relax.

"I promise.." He says softly, leaning his head against the wall behind him. He grabbed the remote off the side table, figuring he'd better get comfortable, he didn't plan on going anywhere.

She slept for hours after Sam gave her the medicine, not waking up when her phone began going off with worried messages from her friend and the boy she was with (whom bucky was instantly pissed at when he saw his name), or when the whole team came in to check on her at one time, and certainly not when Clint brought her soup and layed a worried hand on her head, before kissing her cheek and pulling the comforter over her before leaving with a glare at the man standing guard over her.

She did however, wake up the moment thag Bucky left the bed. He had pried her hand off of pocket she had gripped onto in her sleep, which hindered him from moving the whole day and although he tried to be gentle in his movements of standing up, it still woke her.

She rolled over with a groan, watching as he walked to the door, where Natasha and Clint stood. She could barely make out their worried whispers, but she figured they were leaving again as Bucky's shoulders sagged, and Natasha mumbled a "not this time, Buck." To him.

Sam, who had been continually checking on her throughout the day would be leaving with them as well, which left him and Katherine alone for the next couple of days.

"Make sure she keeps the aspirin in her." She hears Natasha say as she begins to wake up more. She felt like shit, and knew she was gross looking.

"And keep her home tomorrow, even if she feels better." Clint says, glancing briefly her way. He knew she was up, but he was still mad at her. "Make sure she eats something..let's go, Natasha."

The red headed Russian followed her friend, and minuets later the two hydra products were left alone.
Bucky turned around, running a hand through his long hair. "Hey, you're awake." He sAys, a relieved smile on his face. "Feeling better?"

Katherine shakes her head. Her head felt heavy, and she wanted to go back to sleep, but knew she needed to shower. The memories of the folder were instantly at the forefront of her mind, and she wanted to cry again. "No." She says, her voice shakes.

She begins to push her thick comforter off of her, noting that it was now dark out. She felt bad for not going dress shopping, but figured Natasha handled it. "I want a shower." She was hoping that it would make her tired, so she could go back to sleep easily.

"Uh, okay..I guess I'll go make you dinner..soup sound good? Or pizza?" Bucky felt like something was really off now, like he shouldnt leave her alone, but he knew it would be creepy to stay while she showered.

"Whatever you want." She shrugs, standing slowly. The room span for a second, and she felt like throwing up as she moved, locking herself in the bathroom as Bucky let out a sigh and walked out of the room, something most of been really wrong with her, he realized. Since when did she say no to pizza?

The shower did nothing to help, in fact it actually made her train of thought worse. The water running over her face made her close her eyes, which brought on more images of the pages inside of her file, flashes of HYDRA reports, and her partial birth certificate.

Flashes of the medical reports of experimental drugs she had been given as an infant.. flashes that reminded her that she would never be normal, because of what they had done to her.

Out of anger, and because she couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was just water on her face from the shower, she let out an angry scream and punched the shower walk, repeating the action a few times before she felt searing pain and decided to stop.

By the time she turned the water off, she felt the slightest bit better, until she looked into the mirror over the sink. She felt like her while being was a lie, that she wasn't who she had always thought she could be.

Something warm began running down her fingertips, and upon glancing down at her right hand she found her knuckles to be cut open and bleeding heavily. She glanced back at the tile wall, which was missing some tiny pieces out of a dent she had made. The white was stained with the red of her life force.

The girl sighed and wrapped her robe around herself, walking out of her room to go find Bucky. She peaked into his room, but it was empty, which prompted her to then walk down the hallways, towards the kitchen.

She found him in the common room, turning away from the closing elevator doors. "Bucky?" She asks quietly, noting the box of pizza in his hand.

"Hey, I ordered from that place across the stre-" He noticed the blood dripping off of her fingers, and the wounds on her knuckles. "What the hell happened?"

He threw the pizza onto the nearest couch and was in front of her in two long strides, taking her hand. "Jesus, Katherine.." He mutters, holding her hand up as he drags her to his bedroom, where he knew he had a first aid kit.

She sat down on the edge of his bed while he kneeled in front of her, pulling a metal box from under it. She watched him as he began pulling out alcohol wipes and other things, her face blank as her hand bled all over his dark bedclothes.

"I punched the wall.." She says, he looks up at her, moving closer as he sets the supplies on the bed. "Five times." Her voice was low, as f she were afraid of others hearing her.

"Why?" He whispers back, taking the wounded hand in his own, using his metal hand to begin wiping away the blood with a small rag. He tried to be gentle. "Why would you do that? What's wrong, Katherine?" He asks, looking up at her face.

The expression was blank, but held everything all at once. She looked as if she was breaking on the inside. She blinked at him, and decided that it would be best to get it off of her chest. Avoided everyone and not speaking g was obviously making her sick.

"I found my file." She says, his eyebrows furrowed, confused as he dabbed gently at her still bleeding hand. "Not the SHIELD one, but the one with HYDRA reports that Tony found."

"What?" He asks, voice raspy. He was nervous..how was he supposed to talk about this with her, when he was the reason she was there now? If he had listened to his heart back then, instead of his head..she would have never gotten the first dose of that drug the gave her. He held the rag to her hand, hoping the bleeding would stop soon.

Her gaze was fixed on him, and that made her more nervous. "Fury always told me that I had told him that my name was Katherine Nicole, that Natasha found me after she blew up the HYDRA lab I was born in.." She kicked her lips and glanced down at her hand. "But that's a lie, because my name is Aloisia Koenig, and..and my parents didn't leave me there as a newborn, they were the heads of the HYDRA mutation experiments and they conceived me so they could use me to combine their own experiment mutations..they were the only two to survive their serums, and they thought that if they used their DNA to combine a mixture of them..I might survive as well.."

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut, knowing what was coming next. He began wiping her knuckles with the alcohol wipes, hoping she would wince and stop talking. "Natasha didn't find me after she blew up the lab..she found me in a dumpster, on her way to recon." Bucky let out a long breath, he vaguely remembered being the one to put her there, but not for the reason she was thinking.. he was trying to save her. "A dumpster they had thrown me in after i failed to mutate like they wanted..after i began rejecting the last of the serums for a third mutation.."

He tore open a second packet, wishing she would shut up, but unable to tell her to stop. This was giving him flashbacks to his own time at HYDRA, and he could only imagine how she must have felt to just find all of this out..he had lived it for most of his life, but her?

"Bucky, they threw me away like I was trash..because I wasn't good enough." She says, tears falling down her face. "They created me, gave birth to me..and as soon as I began to reject their serum, they threw me away without a second thought..like they never cared for me..like I was expendable, replaceable.."

"Fucking HYDRA." Bucky sighed under his breath, clenching his metal fist as he looked up at her. "Hey, you are not trash." He sAys, noting that she was crying. It made his heart ache, and he forgot about her hand as he pulled her against him, sitting down next to her on his bed. "You are amazing, Katherine..look at what you can do, and who you're turning out to be..do you think you'd be like this if you had stayed at HYDRA? Do you think that I would be like this if i had stayed with them?"

Katherine could only sniffle loudly, bringing her hands to rest on his biceps, squeezing them as he squeezed her against him. "Them throwing you out like that, was probably the best thing they could have ever done for you." He kissed the top of her head, unable to help himself. He had to let her know that this wasn't her fault, like he had thought for so long when he was by himself.

"HYDRA did shitty, terrible and inhumane things to the both of us." He says. "We are what they created, but we can choose to use what they gave us and take them down for good..you and i are better than they are, because we realized the truth.." He whispers, still holding her tightly. "And when they let us, you and I are going to save other HYDRA prisoners..and..look at me." He he gripped her chin and lifted her head up, he felt bad that she was still crying, but he needed her to know this. "if they come after us, i will protect you, Katherine." He sAys, which only makes her eyes water more. "That is a promise, because you deserve to be protected..you deserve everything that they never let you have.."

Katherine didn't know what to say, and sniffles in response. He lets her go and she wipes her nose, suddenly feeling like shit again and wanting to sleep. "I just don't understand why Fury didn't tell me." She says glancing up at him.

"Because He was tryin to protect you." Of course that provably wasn't the truth, but what else could he say? "If you don't believe me, I will personally drive you to SHIELD HQ so you can ask him."

He could tell she was tired, and pushed her back up towards his pillows. "Lay down, you need rest." He says, getting in behind her. "I'll stay with you.." He figured she would ask again, and it didn't go unnoticed that she stayed asleep earlier until he had moved. He wasn't stupid.

She lay her head on his chest, and without thinking his hand went for her hair again. He let out a deep sigh, knowing that she would be asleep on s minuet..he didn't think twice about their position or sleeping like this, it just felt natural, and he didn't want her to be alone..

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- TWO DAYS LATER, Bucky was up in the kitchen it was three in the morning but he couldn't sleep. He was nervous that the team hadn't come back yet and had decided to make some pancakes for when Katherine woke up. She had slept again all day, and had cried again and he hadn't left her side because of it.

He felt like there was something different between them now, a different sort of bond than before..he wasn't sure what, but there was just something different about he way she looked at him or held onto him and he wonders what was wrong.

Natasha was creeping through the tower, not expecting anyone to be up at this hour. They had all just gotten back, and she was coming to grab coffee for Tony and Bruce so they could have at least a little energy to help the wounded.
As she rounded the corner, she threw the lay knife in her belt, just as the figure in the dim lighting turned around. He fell to the ground with a slightly girlish scream, before popping back up with his hands in the air, the metal one grasping a spatula.

"Jesus, Nat!" He yells, half terrified and half relieved as she walked into the kitchen with a sorrowful look. "If you didn't want pancakes, all you had to do was say so!"

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Hi welcome to the new chapter.
we love Katherine but we hate a sad bitch?? my child deserves better-
shoutout to -imbroglio (Tessa) for helping me with this chapter, I've been struggling with finding a good idea for weeks now!
don't forget to comment!