Chapter Forty-Three

Ramona barely had time to scribble down a sloppily written note to her mother before she was being dragged out of her front door by Dustin.

"Ramona, we don't have time for this." Dustin said, voice dripping with impatience. Ramona waved him off, muttering to herself in Spanish as she pulled the key from her house door.

"Dusty, your charming attitude was cute at first. Cut it out." Ramona scolded, flicking the rim of his hat.

"Ha-Ha-Ha." Dustin smiled sarcastically, clapping after each word to punctuate it.

"Guys." Max interrupted uncomfortably, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Can we just go?"

"Sorry, Max." Dustin was quick with his response, motioning for Ramona to grab her bike and join them. "Remind me why you don't have a license?"

"I'm broke." Ramona shrugged, "Steve is my personal driver anyway."

Dustin scrunched his nose up, murmuring to himself  incomprehensibly. "Steve wouldn't be my personal driver."

"Aw... cry." Ramona fake pouted, "Maybe take Steve out on a date and he would. He likes Mexican-"

"Clearly." Max mumbled, stifling a laugh as she glanced over at Ramona. Ramona snorted, tossing her head back. Laughter flooded the air as she struggled to mount the bike, laughter rendering her immobile. Dustin stood dumbfounded, mouth hanging open in shock and likely annoyance.

"Whatever- Okay- Can we just get to Steve?"

~~

"Wha- Hey! Guys!" Steve whined as Max and Dustin slid over the counter, knocking over his tapes. "My tapes!"

"Hey!" Robin threw her hands up in annoyance.

"Sorry," Ramona smiled sheepishly, grunting as she lifted herself up and over the counter. Steve cracked a smile as she dusted herself off. "We- Max, Max has stuff to tell you."

Steve took note of the sweat dripping from Ramona's forehead, along with the baggy sweatshirt she wore. Ramona smiled gently at him, her head tilting to the side.

I'm okay she mouthed, brushing the stray hair from her eyes. Steve wanted to believe her, he really wanted to believe her. He wished that he could, but after their shared experiences, he knew Ramona better than he knew anyone else. Himself included.

He knew her tells.. Or, he thought he did. Maybe he didn't. Ramona knew him, though. Ramona new knew him so deeply, she knew every freckle on his body and even what the slightest twitch in his body meant.

"Steve, Steve, Steve." Ramona repeated, moving so she was resting on her knees so that she was taller than Steve, blankets bunched up around her body. She scooted closer to him carefully, gently taking his face into her hands and forcing her to look into her eyes. "Hey, sh. Steve, baby. Sh. It's just me, we're in my room. We're in my room, in my house. We got out of that elevator two weeks ago. Okay? This is my house."

"Wha- I don't- They were- We were dead. We were all.." Steve struggled to form words, fingers digging into her hips, gripping the fabric of her shirt as he frantically looked around the room. "You- I couldn't- Dustin and- And Dustin and Robin- You-"

Sweat dripped from his forehead, eyes wide in panic, his voice was hoarse and his palms were clammy. Steve's blood was cold, he was freezing. Freezing and hot, all at once. His mind felt fuzzy, thoughts distant. Almost as if they weren't his own thoughts, as if they were someone else's and he was simply a passerby.

Ramona winced as his fingers brushed the still fresh brand on her hip, easily covering up the pain as she pulled the boy's head into her chest, ear pressed closely to her ribcage. Her fingers gently raked through Steve's hair. She cradled his head, swaying back and forth, careful not to startle him in this state or move to quickly.

"I'm gonna try something, okay?" Ramona's voice was soft, worry buried deep. "I used to do this with Will, you might think it's silly."

Steve struggled to focus on any one thing, heart hammering against his ribcage as if it were trying to escape. He nodded weakly, not trusting his voice to obey him.

"Can you name five things you can see?" Ramona started gently, Steve recognizing the method immediately. He'd seen it in a commercial before, when he used to watch TV with his family. His dad had always claimed how stupid it was. Steve agreed, desperately clawing at any sliver of hope of gaining his dad's approval.

"Um.." Steve swallowed thickly, eyes darting around the room. "A.. music poster. "

"Mhm." Ramona nodded, "That's Ozzy, he took a chunk out of a bat. I'll tell you about him tomorrow."

"Laundry basket." Ramona nodded, glancing at the laundry basket piled full with clean clothes she has yet to put away.

"Good job. Four things you can feel?"

"Um.. Your shirt- Your shirt.. Bed, the blankets, sweat." Ramona cracked a smile at the sweat comment, mumbling another praise to him.

"Three things you can hear?" She continued to gently run her fingers through his hair, stopping every so often to scratch his scalp, remembering how that would help Will.

"Your heartbeat." Steve spoke quickly, trying to focus on the sounds around him, his brows furrowing in concentration. He swallowed, pressing himself closer to Ramona's body. "The TV and the sink."

Ramona hadn't even noticed the sound of her mom going about her life, watching TV and washing the dishes, she hasn't even noticed the woman returning home.

"Good. Two things you can smell."

"Peaches.." A ghost of a smile drifted over Steve's face at the smell of her perfume. Just as quickly as the smile came it vanished, "Uh..I that's.. it."

"Good. You're doing so good. You're doing so go-"

"I'm sorry," Steve whimpered, arms snaking around her waist. Ramona noted that while he was still shaking, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was before. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm your fucking boyfriend, I'm supposed to be- Fuck. I'm supposed to be- You know, taking care of you.. not the other way around."

"And you do." Ramona said quickly, "You do take care of me. I was in your shoes just two nights ago. You sung to me, remember?"

"Yeah- But.. You shouldn't have to put up with this.." Steve weakly gestured to himself.

"Stop." Ramona's voice was stern as she took his face into her hands, carefully wiping the tears staining his cheeks with her thumbs. "You're not allowed to apologize for this, Harrington. Your mind is working through it, processing. It's okay to have nights like this, and I'll be here for all of them.. I won't sing, though."

"Don't tell anyone about this." Steve muttered, avoiding her eyes out of embarrassment. "Please?"

Ramona frowned, pressing a long kiss on his forehead, fingers gently running up and down his back, "Your secret is safe with me."

"Hey! Hey!" Dustin snapped his fingers in Steve's face. "Earth to Steve? Earth to Steve!"

Steve blinked slowly, shaking his head in an effort to return back to reality. He scoffed, swatting Dustin's hands away. "Yeah, I need you focused? Okay? We have big shit to deal with!"

Steve puffed his cheeks out, sharing a look with Ramona as Dustin took his place back at the computer. "Woah. woah, Woah, hey! What are you doing?"

"If you were listening instead of fantasizing about your girlfriend."Dustin sent him a harsh look before continuing, "You would know."

"Dustin," Ramona said pointedly, "Repeat your plan."

"Why should I?"

"Dustin." Ramona said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay. Fine."  Dustin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay. I'm trying to find all of Eddie's friends' phone numbers. Because Ramona doesn't have them."

"Sorry, next time I'll make sure to have the phone numbers of everyone my friends are also friends with."

"Oh! Eddie! Your new best friend that you think is cooler than me because he plays your nerdy game with you?"

Dustin rolled his eyes. "Yes- Wait, I never said that."

Ramona sighed, squeezing past Steve to help her put the tapes back in order. Robin smiled shortly at her as a thank you, turning to both boys in annoyance. "Seriously, maybe on a Monday you guys could play detective, but today is Saturday. Our busiest day!"

"All right, look, Robin, I totally empathize with that but this cannot wait until Monday." Dustin said quickly, not taking his eyes off the screen. Ramona nodded in agreement, watching as Steve groaned loudly, covering his face with his hands in disbelief.

"What? Calling Eddie's friends is an emergency?"

"Correct!" He snapped.

"He's, despite the attitude problem, right."

"Alright, Ramona has lost it too." Steve muttered to Robin, "It's all that Footloose."

"Hey!" Ramona flushed in embarrassment, "I didn't rent it that many times."

"Right. Because you get freebies." Robin teased, nudging Steve. Steve blushed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey!" Dustin clapped, gaining all of their attentions back. "Again! Super important shit, please pay attention!"

"Do you wanna strangle them?" Steve whispered quietly, Ramona leaning in to hear them clearly. "Or should I?"

"We could all take turns?" Robin suggested. Dustin rolled his eyes, turning away from the computer and towards Max.

"Max, would you fill them in, please?"

~~

a/n; i feel like everyone is so ooc but in good news, once i finish season 4 i'm gonna go back and write season 1 which means we get to see their hate banter again AND jonathan and ramona being besties

i'm gonna write all the chapters to season one and once i'm finished publishing them all, move them to the front of the book. So i'm also editing seasons 2-3

also

ramona's SH is based on personal experience! it does not look the same for everyone, and not everyone deals with it the same way!! :)