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Parr: about a week ago, i accidentally slept with anne.

Howard: ... really?

Parr: yes.

Howard: you accidentally slept with anne?

Parr: yes.

Howard: accidentally?

Parr: yes.

Howard: i don't understand, did you trip or something?

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Boleyn: i lay awake some nights, horrified, contemplating the reality that i will probably never be as cool as most lesbians.

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Cleves: have you ever watched a musical called six?

Aragon: never.

Cleves: me neither.

Aragon: i quickly lost interest when i found out anne was going to be in it.

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Parr: god dammit i hate this song.

Seymour: well, you got to admit, it's pretty catchy.

Parr: the bubonic plague was catchy, that doesn't mean it was good.

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Boleyn: hey i've been thinking-

Aragon: congratulations.

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Howard: *texting anna* i just heard a bouncing noise in the kitchen and then that was followed by jane saying, "oh no my potato".

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Aragon: so we're made out of 70% water right?

Aragon: and we drink water too.

Cleves: C A N N I B A L I S M

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Howard: NOW I'M HERE BLINKING IN THE STARLIGHT!!!

Aragon: what is she doing?

Howard: NOW I'M HERE SUDDENLY I CAN SEE!

Parr: it's the tenth anniversary of tangled so she's been singing the songs non stop.

Howard: STANDING HERE IT'S ALL SO CLEAR!

Aragon: has it been going on all day?

Howard: I'M WHERE I'M MEANT TO BEEEE!!!

Seymour: sure has.

Howard: AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT!!!

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Cleves: *battling anne* check this out, anne!!!

Boleyn: ANNA!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! YOU THINK YOU CAN HURT ME WITH THAT!? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANNA? SHOOT ME?

[30 minutes later]

Parr: *to anne as her gunshot wounds are being treated* i'm really not sure what you were expecting to happen there.

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Aragon: oh god.

Howard: *ready to blast beauty and the beast for the fifth time this week* HERE WE GO MOTHERFU-

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