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Boleyn: i'm gay.

Howard: i'm upset.

Aragon: i'm tired.

Parr: and i'm all of the above, get over yourselves.

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Aragon: my asshole is tight.

Aragon: but my bond with god?

Aragon: is even tighter.

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Seymour: kat, why are you standing on a chair?

Howard: i live here. i can stand wherever i like, thank you very much.

Seymour: where's the spider?

Howard: under the table.

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Howard: do you think anna thinks in german or english?

Parr: bold of you to assume she thinks.

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Cleves: strange light in my kitchen, so either getting murdered or abducted. will keep you updated.

Boleyn: what if it's mothman?

Cleves: then it's marriage.

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Seymour: ... and that is?

Aragon: dog's blood.

Seymour: do i even wanna ask where you got that?

Aragon: probably not.

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Boleyn: what's another word for murder?

Parr: manslaughter.

Cleves: a hobby.

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Seymour: i just wanna hear those three little words.

Aragon: i love you.

Seymour: that's sweet, but try again.

Aragon:

Aragon: i will behave.

Seymour: there we go.

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Cleves: wanna watch netflix?

Howard: jane said no.

Cleves: she gets back at 12.

Howard: what time is it?

Cleves: not 12.

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Boleyn: so... i see you've been spending a lot of time with anna lately.

Howard: no, anne, it's not what it looks like, i swear.

Boleyn: oh, really? so no reason for me to get jealous?

Howard: i promise! anna and i are just dating, okay? she's my girlfriend.

Boleyn: so there's no best-friend-feelings involved?

Howard: you are still my one and only best friend. she's just the love of my life, nothing more.

Boleyn: but i'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Howard: of course~

Parr, Aragon and Seymour: what the f-

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