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Parr: i'm the smartest, most skilled person in all of england!

Howard: ... is your hand stuck in that vending machine?

Parr: i paid for my skittles, i'm getting my skittles.

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Seymour: anna is at that special age where she only has on thing on her mind.

Aragon: boys?

Cleves: homicide.

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Boleyn: do you ever feel bugs on you when there are no bugs?

Boleyn: those are the ghosts of all the bugs you have killed.

Howard:

Seymour: look what you did anne, you scared her.

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Aragon: can you teach me how to hoe?

Howard: rude.

Howard: *sips wine*

Howard: but yes.

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Seymour: *talking about the other queens* i tried starting a band once, but it turned into a babysitting gig.

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Boleyn: *under her breath* future wife say what?

Parr: what?

Boleyn: *screeches internally*

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Parr: i hardly slept last night.

Howard: you know, they say if you can't sleep it's because someone else is thinking about you.

Parr: who would be thinking about me at 3am.

Boleyn: *panics*

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Howard: hey anna i lov-

Cleves: *aggressively screaming*

Aragon: wtf dude she's trying to tell you her feelings.

Howard: don't worry, this is the only way she knows how to express herself.

Cleves: *screaming intensifies*

Howard: omg thAT'S SO SWEET ANNA!

Aragon: ... then i guess it's going well?

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Seymour: catherine, you have to apologise to anne.

Aragon:

Aragon: fine.

Boleyn:

Aragon: unfuck you, or whatever.

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Cleves: hey cathy? i think i'm lactose intolerant.

Parr: why is tha- OHMYGOD!

Cleves: yeah i had some chocolate milk earlier and then i threw up.

Parr: ANNA THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR STOMACH!

Cleves: *looking at her stomach* oh yeah, i forgot that was there.

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