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Aragon: alright, listen up you little shits.

Aragon: not you, jane. you're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.

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Howard: nice driving, anne.

Boleyn: thanks. i should get a license.

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Seymour: hey, so um... i was checking your browsing history yesterday and-

Parr: jane, i can explain-

Seymour: it's just pages and pages of parrlyn.

Parr: HHHHNNNNGGGG!!!!

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Cleves: how would it feel to shove a knife up your butt?

Aragon: say one more word and you'll have an answer to that.

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Howard: so who is the clingy one?

Boleyn: *sitting on cathy's lap with her arms wrapper around cathy's neck and her face buried into cathy's chest*

Boleyn: cathy, obviously.

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[playing dungeons & dragons]

Seymour: i roll to steal catherine's heart!

Aragon: jane, you can't-

Seymour: *rolls a twenty*

Aragon: ...

Howard: *the dungeon master* you have a spring wedding. i am catherine's best man. anna is jane's maid of honour.

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Boleyn: love is dead and never existed. all you did was betray me as i lay sick and festering. you are the definition of dread.

Seymour: ... are you okay?

Boleyn: cathy stole my frickin garlic bread.

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Cleves: *nudges kat awake at 4am* do you like me?

Howard: i married you.

Cleves: yes but did you marry me as a friend, or like, a wife? unclear.

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Aragon: *is choking*

Seymour: help! i need to call 999 but the 9 button isn't working!

Boleyn: just turn it upside down and use the 6!

Parr: babe, i love you but... *sighs* i guess it wouldn't hurt to try?

Aragon: *stops choking momentarily* what the fuck?

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[shopping]

Howard: *looks around, then at jane* have you seen my wife?

Seymour: *shakes her head*

Howard: MARCO!

Cleves: *from nearby* POLO!

Howard: that came from the wine aisle, didn't it?

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